18. Harrison
EIGHTEEN
Harrison
“Hey! How’s it going?” Oliver’s face filled my screen as I sat by our hotel pool waiting for Lila to get changed for dinner.
“What the hell are you calling me for? Isn’t it the middle of the night there?” I asked.
“Almost five in the morning. Charlie wants to do a sunrise hike.”
“Sad I’m missing that,” I said, not meaning it at all.
“Lila doesn’t have you waking up first thing to do some sort of activity? I find that hard to believe.”
“She let me sleep until seven today.” The corner of my lip tugged up just thinking about the eventful day we’d shared. We had spent hours wandering the different beaches before we got back to the hotel and collapsed for a nap. The one bed had been a little tricky last night; just knowing she was lying next to me in her little sleep shirt did not do good things for my self-control. But this afternoon we’d been so exhausted that we’d fallen asleep immediately. I had even woken up to her head on my chest before discreetly slipping away so that she wouldn’t be embarrassed.
“Harrison, are you smiling?”
My mouth fell into a frown as soon as I noticed the shit-eating grin on my best friend. “What’s it to you?”
“I knew it. You’re loving it. You like Lila now, don’t you? Admit it.”
“Why do you always have to be so?—”
“Upbeat? Optimistic? Amiable?”
“I was going to say obnoxious.”
“It may shock you to know, but being in a good mood is actually not synonymous with obnoxious.”
“Lila is cool,” I finally said. There, that was all he’d get out of me. In reality, that was a giant understatement. I hadn’t enjoyed myself with anyone like this in years. In fact, she had made me realize that it had been something that was missing from my life. I was so used to being focused on acting a certain way at all times, I had completely missed out on how good if felt to let loose a little.
“When’s the wedding?” Oliver probed.
“What is your obsession with setting us up?” I hissed, glancing up to make sure the door to our shared room was still closed.
Oliver grinned back at me as he closed a door behind him.
“Because maybe I think she’d be good for you.”
“How would you know?” I felt defensive, although I didn’t know why.
“Are you serious? Dude, I’m your best friend. We’re basically family. You don’t think I have any clue what kind of girl you might mesh with?”
“She’s perky,” was all I said.
“Fuck, I’m perky.”
“Right. And I can’t handle another you.”
Oliver rolled his eyes. “No, I think you need another me. I’ve tried for years to get you out of your shell and failed, so might as well give Lila a go. Plus, you know she likes you.”
That was news to me. A slight flicker of something resembling hope came to life in my chest before my mind snuffed it out.
“She definitely doesn’t,” I insisted, although I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed how her gaze had lingered on me at least a few times today when we were swimming. Maybe like was too strong a word, but there was definitely some sort of mutual attraction brewing.
“I don’t know, man. She’s always asking about you. Seeing if you’re coming to things, or if she comes to the house and you’re not there she asks where you are. Seems like she has some level of interest.”
“You think?” I tried to add concern to my voice instead of intrigue.
“Not just me. Charlie thinks so, too.”
I was sure Lila would be just as thrilled as I was to learn that Oliver and Charlie were discussing our non-existent, improbable relationship behind our backs. But still...
“Charlie said that?” If her best friend thought so, then maybe there was some truth to Oliver’s ramblings.
“Yep.” The smug look on Oliver’s face was more than I could take.
“Nothing is going on with us.” I felt the need to repeat. “Go on your little sunrise hike and stop bothering me.”
“I’d say I wish you were here, but I think you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.” He winked just as I ended the call.
“Fucking Oliver,” I breathed, attempting to rub the tension out of my neck. He was full of shit. I knew that. But his words still scratched incessantly at the back of my mind. Did Lila like me? I mentally went over our entire acquaintanceship. Aside from her constant attempts to befriend me, I really didn’t see any substantial evidence that would lead me to believe she could have a crush. Which was good, in theory, because we were absolutely not a compatible pairing, despite whatever shit Oliver was spouting.
“Hey there.” Nigel’s overly cheery voice sent a shiver down my spine. Dealing with him was the last thing I wanted right now.
“Hey.” I nodded in greeting.
“You and Lily going to join us for another night out?” he asked. I didn’t like that hopeful look in his eyes. I didn’t care how harmless Lila thought these guys were; if she gave them even a suggestion of interest, I guaranteed Nigel would take it and run with it.
“It’s Lila,” I corrected him. I wasn’t sure if she liked the nickname or not, but I certainly didn’t appreciate it. “And I don’t think so.” I stood up, so he would remember that I had nearly five inches on him. Probably overkill, but whatever.
“You sure? Should be a good time.”
“Not tonight,” I said, praying he would leave before Lila walked out of our room. She had said she was completely wiped after spending all day driving, but I wouldn’t put it past her to still insist we go out.
“Hey!” Her cheery voice rang out behind me, and I tipped my head back and groaned.
“Lily.” Nigel’s smile stretched when he saw her, and I didn’t like the way he held his arms out for a hug. I especially didn’t care for it once I caught sight of Lila’s dress. The soft blue fabric made her skin glow, and her hair popped in contrast. It was strapless and dipped just a little by her cleavage—the same cleavage I’d probably glanced at one too many times when she had been wearing that bikini earlier today.
“Come out with us,” Mark—or possibly Will—called from the entrance to the shared room. I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure who was who. The other one appeared, and the two of them ambled into the shared courtyard.
Lila looked back at me, and I tried to give her my best ‘I’m completely exhausted and also I just don’t want to go’ look.
The corner of her lip twitched, and she winked at me before turning back to the boys.
“Sorry, we were just going to do dinner and then crash. We’ve been out basically all day.”
“Maria said you rented a four-wheeler. When we asked if we should do that the other day, she said not to.” Something like a pout formed on Nigel’s lips.
“Oh, well, they can be dangerous,” Lila offered while I snorted. These guys did not exactly scream responsibility. I could see why Maria wasn’t encouraging them to go flying down the roads on one of those things.
“Ah, no worries. We made other plans for tomorrow. They replaced you with three American girls in our room who are. . .” Nigel looked back at Mark and Will, and they all snickered. I fought the urge to gag. Lila elbowed me in the ribs, a silent reminder to be polite.
“Hey, you should come with tomorrow,” Will—or Mark said.
“Yeah, definitely,” Nigel clasped his hand around Lila’s bare shoulder and I stifled the sudden urge to grab her waist and pull her against me. “We’re all headed to Mykonos for a day trip on the ferry. Going to check out some beach clubs. Should be a good time.”
I’d rather fly the forty hours to Fiji than join them, but I bit my tongue and forced myself to wait for Lila’s response. She might want to see another island, and I wasn’t going to deny her that.
“That does sound fun.” She eyed me, trying to read my expression. I kept my face neutral, but judging from the way she smirked, I’m sure she knew the thoughts running through my mind.
“Why don’t we let you know in the morning. When are you leaving?” she asked instead.
“We’ll probably head out of here around nine.”
“Great. Maybe we’ll join you.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I said under my breath.
The trio of guys finally waved their goodbyes, and I was left alone with Lila. Alone with Lila and that stunning-as-hell dress.
“You’re not seriously considering going with them, are you?”
Lila laughed. “There it is.”
“There what is?”
“I knew you were biting your tongue when they asked us.”
She looked me up and down with her green eyes, making it impossible not to feel guilty. I had told myself I would stop holding us back on this trip. If Lila wanted to do something, damnit, I was going to do it. It was only a few days in the grand scheme of life. I was going to make sure she would not have any regrets because of me.
“I’m sorry; we can go if you want. But is it so insane that I don’t like those guys?”
“Yes. They’re nice.”
“Okay fine.” I threw my hands up. “Maybe dislike is too strong a sentiment, but at the very least I find them annoying. I’m not dying to spend the day stuck on another island with them. Can’t we hang out just the two of us? We can go to Mykonos if you want to, I just don’t want to go with them.”
Lila flushed for a moment, looking taken aback. But as quickly as her flustered appearance came, it was gone, and a devilish smile was in its place.
“Just the two of us?” she mused.
“You know what I mean.”
“That you’re obsessed with me and we’re best friends now? I accept.”
I dragged my hand over the stubble on my chin. “Fine, yes. We’re best friends. If that’s what it takes to not hang out with those guys tomorrow, you’re my favorite fucking person on this entire planet, okay?”
“At least on this island,” she said through a laugh.
That was the undeniable truth. The thought of what we’d be after this trip lingered in my mind. While this might only be temporary, my feelings for Lila had shifted in a way that felt permanent. Friendship had always been tough for me, probably always would be, but going back to how things had been between us? That felt impossible now. I liked her. Not seeing her every day already felt wrong. I’d gotten used to her cheery greetings, and the way she dragged me along on whatever little adventure she had in mind. I had even started to look forward to it.
Lila led the way to the gate of our hotel, almost running into Maria in the process.
“Good evening,” she greeted us with a smile. “How was your day?”
“Amazing.” Lila’s eyes brightened as she regaled Maria with the story of our day.
Her whole demeanor lit up as she spoke, her energy infectious. Something about it stirred an ache deep in my gut—her sincere, candid love for life. Her kindness and her openness to people and experiences. It should be something fostered. Something protected. Not something to be picked apart or critiqued. For the millionth time since we’d set off on this strange journey, I mentally berated myself for ever being an ass to her.
“Where are you going for dinner?” Maria asked us when Lila finished telling her all the places where we’d stopped.
“Just somewhere in town,” Lila said. “We were heading out there now.”
“Can I make a suggestion?” Maria asked.
“Of course! Please,” Lila exclaimed.
“There’s a small family place just down the road. It’s not in town, but the food is amazing. You have to try it. They’re always full, since they don’t have many tables, but it’s so far out of town the tourists don’t usually find it.”
“That sounds perfect.” Lila smiled up at me.
“Just turn left instead of right at the main road. It’ll be at the first fork you come to. You shouldn’t miss it.”
Lila thanked Maria. I was about to thank her as I walked by, but she winked at me instead and whispered, “Very romantic,” under her breath.
Maria hadn’t been kidding. This restaurant looked like it was straight out of a painting. It was nestled in an older building, and we found it easily thanks to the lanterns strung on wires out front. The inside was just as atmospheric. Paintings hung along the wall, and small tables lined both sides of the room, lit only by the dim candles on the tables and the low lamps above. Each table had a different patterned tablecloth, and ornate rugs lined the walkways.
Lila sat across from me at the small table, sipping a glass of wine. We’d already inhaled the best meal I could ever remember having, with various meats, and risotto, and a few other sides. While the food had been delicious, the company probably had more to do with it.
“Cheers,” she said, holding out her glass to me.
“Cheers,” I responded automatically. “Uh, for what?”
“For the perfect end to the perfect day.”
Something about her referring to a day spent with me as ‘perfect’ fed my ego in the best possible way.
“It was pretty perfect,” I admitted.
“Oh no, not you getting sentimental on me.” Lila tapped her chin and leaned in closer to me. “I never thought I’d see the day.”
She looked amazing in this lighting, her cheeks tinged red from the wine and a look of complete contentment about her. Plus, that dress. Fuck.
I couldn’t even blame my wandering thoughts on the wine, because I’d only had a few sips. But my inhibitions seemed to need very little convincing to abandon me high and dry.
“Is this trip everything you were hoping it’d be?” I found myself asking, eager for more validation that I actually wasn’t the nightmarish travel companion she’d originally thought me to be.
She sighed and looked at the ceiling for a moment before answering. “I don’t know that I had many expectations. I was obviously excited to go on a trip with Charlie, but this is so far from what I imagined, I hadn’t even had time to process what I thought it would be.”
“Definitely different than anything you could have envisioned.” Her answer left me deflated. “I’m sorry you didn’t make it to Fiji with everyone else.”
“Can I make a confession?” she whispered, even though the bustle of the restaurant easily drowned out our conversation from the tables next to ours.
“Tell me.”
“If I could go back and make sure we were on the right flight... I’m not sure I would.”
There it was. My heart raced, pounding harder than if I’d just sprinted around the entire building.
“I wouldn’t either,” I said, before I could think too deeply about it.
She smiled at that, and a swell of pride filled my chest. I was finally putting smiles on her face instead of ripping them away.
Lila giggled. “Although, I’m sure it would be fun to have Oliver around. If you think I try to fit a lot in a day, he’d take it to the next level.”
“He’d have us on some random horseback-riding excursion or jumping out of some plane he found by talking to a local.”
She laughed and shook her head, twisting the stem of her wine glass between her fingers.
“I really needed this trip. I’m always moving so fast I forget to enjoy life, sometimes.”
“I think I needed this too,” I said, hoping she’d know what I meant.
She caught my eye and tipped her head.
“It’s funny to think about all the times we’ve been in the same room, but it took being stuck together halfway across the world to actually get to know each other.”
I winced. “Sorry about that.”
“No, I get it now. And I’m glad you finally felt safe enough to open up with me.”
Her words felt like fire. Instead of responding, I picked up my water glass and took a sip just to have something to do.
“I’m trying to block out the fact that we only have two more days of this trip and then it’s back to reality.”
I blew out a breath, eternally grateful to her for changing the subject.
“What does a typical day look like for Lila?” I asked.
“Well, first I wake up at five?—”
“Five?” I questioned. “Like, every day?”
“Every day. I like to make it to yoga before I come back and have my coffee and breakfast and head into work. I’m usually the first one there, but that’s just because I’m a morning person. Then I spend the whole day running around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to do a million things before leaving for the day.”
“Then what?” I pressed.
“Then...” she thought about it. “Honestly, not much lately. I used to spend so much time with Charlie, running networking events or building the business after working our day job, that once we transitioned into running ConnectHer full-time, I wasn’t sure what my life actually was. And now she has Nathan, and this whole life, and I’m so happy for her. We still see each other, of course, but it’s different, you know? She used to be, like, my only family out in Denver, but now she has this whole other family of her own.”
“You still fit into it.”
“I know that. It’s just different. Maybe it’s pathetic that I’m so desperate to meet someone, but I just want that.”
“What?”
“ That! That feeling of total comforting bliss that I’ve found my partner. My chosen family. The one who I can drag to the farmers’ market, or some concert I’ve been wanting to see. Who wants to cook dinner with me, or go get takeout and watch reruns of our favorite show, the one that we still watch together even though we could quote it in our sleep.”
For a minute, I thought about what I’d do if Oliver met a girl and decided to settle down. I’d have to move out. I wouldn’t see him as much. I realized I kind of got her point.
“You can do all of that yourself,” I said gently, urging her to see that the life she’d built for herself was already complete.
“I know,” she whispered. “I’m proud of myself—and of my life. I know I don’t need anyone else, but I want them. You probably think it’s stupid.”
“I don’t,” I said quickly. And I meant it. Despite the fact that a few days ago, I likely would have called all that stupid and then some. But after getting to know Lila, I didn’t think that at all.
“But this trip has been good for me. It’s given me a lot of clarity.” Her eyes lit up with determination.
“Clarity on. . .”
“It’s been a good reminder that I’m going to be fine no matter what happens. With Charlie getting married, I’ve been so stressed about falling behind. But it’s all in my head. I realize that now. Whatever is meant for me will happen when it happens. I can’t keep trying to force it.”
“Does that mean you’re calling it quits on the dating apps?” For reasons I didn’t want to examine, a surge of hope jolted through me at the mere thought.
She tilted her head back, letting out a playful groan that danced in the air between us. “For now, at least.”
“Good,” I found myself saying too quickly. Heat shimmered in the air between us before she cleared her throat and looked around.
“Enough about me,” she said, her voice sounding forced as it rose an octave. “Did you ever figure out your website?”