Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Mazzy
I hadn’t taken a full breath in days, and now I was rushing around my little apartment, trying to make it presentable. Not that I cared what Ben thought about where I lived.
Except I did.
I wanted him to know Katty had a clean home, a cute room, and everything she could want—that I’d given her that.
Kylie was parked at my two-seater table, watching me scramble around my kitchenette.
Technically, my apartment was separate from the house, but Kylie never let technicalities slow her down.
If I left my door unlocked, she took it as an invitation and made herself at home.
Most of the time, I didn’t mind. Today, her watchful, judgy eyes were pricking my nerves.
“What’s the point of this?” She flicked her hand toward me. “Your place is always clean.”
I looked up from my scrubbing, blowing a strand of hair out of my face. “I want it to shine.”
“Hmmm.” She rested her chin on her fist. “If I were you, I’d work on making yourself shine. You’re looking a little worse for wear, and that guy was hot.”
“This isn’t about his hotness.” I looked down at my work clothes anyway, wondering what was so wrong with them, other than I’d been in them all day. I’d raced home from the office and had gotten straight to polishing every surface, but I didn’t think I looked bad. “Should I change?”
“Yes, god yes.” She popped up, putting her hand out. “Give me the sponge. I’ll finish wiping down the counter for the hundredth time while you put on the gray jeans that make your butt look like you had a BBL, your white tank, and the cropped eggplant hoodie.”
I stared at her, blinking several times. “That was really specific.”
She yanked the sponge from me. “I specifically know what looks good on you. Even if you’re not trying to impress the hottie, why not do it? If I had your butt, I wouldn’t waste it in those trousers. No offense.”
I scoffed. “Full offense taken.” My trousers were fine, but…
I hurried to my bedroom as she called, “Gray jeans, Mazzy.”
I tossed a hand up but didn’t answer her.
A huge part of me wanted to put on anything other than what she suggested, but I grabbed the jeans and hoodie from my closet anyway.
Kylie might have been blunt, but she’d yet to steer me wrong.
After all, I wouldn’t be scrambling to get ready if she hadn’t given Ben my phone number.
Only after I pulled on the jeans and looked over my shoulder at my reflection in the mirror did I accept she was right. My butt did look incredible.
Kylie had left my door open when she’d come in, so I wasn’t surprised when I heard Katty and Aunt Barb’s voices approaching. When Ben’s voice joined in the mix, however, my stomach bottomed out.
He was early.
I’d been hoping to avoid this meeting for as long as I could. Kylie was enough to scare anyone away. Add in my aunt, and…well, we’d be lucky if Ben ever returned.
“This is my garage,” Katty announced. “Me and my mommy live in here.”
“Cool. I love it so far,” Ben replied.
“There’s only enough room for Mazzy and Kateryna. Don’t get any ideas,” my aunt grumbled.
“Ideas are the last thing I ever get,” Ben said.
Kylie snickered as I panicked, unsure what to do with myself or how to behave like a normal human. I ended up leaning against the kitchen counter, totally casual.
“You look good. Don’t worry,” Kylie murmured.
“I don’t care how I look. That doesn’t matter at all.”
I could almost hear her telling me I was protesting way too much. I knew I was. This whole thing had thrown me for so much of a loop I didn’t know up from down.
Katty pushed the door the rest of the way open, swiveling her head left and right. Her gaze landed on me, and she zoomed straight for my legs. I bent down and caught her, lifting her into my arms for a hug. Like a little monkey, she wrapped her arms and legs around me, squeezing tight.
“Oooh, that’s a good hug,” I cooed, rubbing my nose in her curls. “I needed that.”
“Aunt Barb and Benny are here,” she whispered, like it was a big secret.
“I know. I saw.” I glanced up at Ben as I kissed the side of her head. He was hovering beside the door, appearing bigger than I remembered. From the way he twisted his hands together, he might have been nervous too. “Did you have a good day at school?”
“Yep.” She squirmed until I let her down. “Aunt Barb, show Mama what I made.”
My aunt raised a steely gray eyebrow. “Is that how we ask, Kateryna?”
Katty huffed, warring with her inner rebel, but she reined it in and tried again. “Please show Mommy what I made, please?”
My eyes met Ben’s, watching the scene with unfiltered confusion and fascination.
Maybe a little fear too. Aunt Barb had that effect on a lot of people.
It was partly why she and my father hadn’t been close until the end.
If Ben had been here—had seen all the ways she’d taken care of him and made his passing as peaceful as possible, he’d understand why I adored her to the depths of my soul.
She could be scary, but mostly, she was a serious, no-nonsense woman who had come to love Katty and me in her own way.
My aunt nodded curtly and opened Katty’s backpack, pulling out a pile of colorful construction paper. “Kateryna’s teacher said she spent her free time at the art station today. She drew all of us pictures.”
“Wow, really?” I took the papers from her, already smiling. Katty wasn’t really an artist. Most of the time, she liked to be on the move. When she wasn’t, she settled down with Play-Doh or blocks. Getting a picture from her was a rare treat. “Let’s see.”
She took the stack from me and carefully sorted them, passing one to each of us. Kylie ooohed and ahhhed over hers, Aunt Barb thanked her formally, and Ben stared at his like it was the most priceless piece of art in the world.
“Here, Mommy.”
I took the piece of purple construction paper and studied the drawing. Two figures in the foreground—one tall, one short—both wearing glasses. Clearly, they were meant to be the two of us. Then, in the background, was a smaller figure, with brown curlicues around its head.
“Is this Ben?” I asked.
Katty nodded proudly. “Yes. Benny, show Mommy—” She stopped, correcting herself. “Please show Mommy your picture.”
“Um…okay.” He looked up from the art our daughter had made with bleary eyes and crossed my small living room in three strides. “She drew this for me.”
The crack in his words brought my attention to his face. He was studying the picture again, so I did too. There were three figures on this one too, but the arrangement was different. Katty was in the middle, her stick arms attached to mine on one side and Ben’s on the other.
Yesterday, after the playground, he’d walked us to my car, and she’d planted herself between us, taking our hands—just like the picture.
Katty pushed up on her toes to point at her artwork. “That’s me, my mommy, and Benny. Playground friends.”
“It’s beautiful,” I said, my eyes lifting to Ben’s. They were shining bright and color had suffused his cheeks. I couldn’t stop from smiling at him. “Looks just like you, right?”
“Yeah.” He took the picture back, clutching it possessively. “It’s uncanny. I’m going to have to frame this.”
From the doorway, Aunt Barb grunted. “Kylie, let’s hit the road. Leave these three to their boo-hooing.”
“Mooom,” Kylie groaned, unfolding herself from her chair, “it was just getting interesting.”
“Can it,” my aunt snapped. “Get a move on.”
Kylie rolled her eyes, but absolutely got a move on. “Nice to see you again, Ben. I’m glad you finally got your thumbs and brain to work together.”
The corners of his eyes twitched. “Thanks for your help with that. I was always dropping things and look at me now.” He waved the paper around. “No problem.”
That made her laugh on her way to ruffle Katty’s hair. “All right. Have fun with Mama and Ben. See you later, Tootsie Roll.”
Katty hugged her hard and fierce. “Bye, Ky-Ky.”
As soon as they were gone, Katty asked Ben to check out her bedroom. He looked to me, making sure it was okay, and I waved them off, needing them both out of the room so I could work through the pressure squeezing my lungs.
How was it possible we’d gone almost five years without him, and in one day, Ben had worked his way into Katty’s mind and art?
She was a friendly girl, but I’d never seen her so instantly comfortable with someone, let alone a man.
It was like she knew who he was to her, who he was going to be, and I was happy about it.
I was.
But I was afraid too.
Things had just gotten smooth for us. I wasn’t constantly buried under grief anymore. I’d learned how to do this life without my dad as my support system, and I’d gotten into the swing of working and going to school. It was a delicate balance, but I managed. We were good.
Now things were going to change again. It was unavoidable. But when the scales tipped, I didn’t know which way they would go or where we would land.