CHAPTER FIFTEEN #2
‘Raina, they don’t deserve your good opinion right now,’ Tom said, moving around the island to stand behind her.
She could feel him trying to get her to look at him, but she was still fumbling with the gift.
‘You deserve better, Raina. You deserve better than a toxic friend and a pathetic ex-boyfriend.’
Raina laughed bitterly, pulling at the purple tissue paper inside of the little Liberty bag. ‘This from the man who thought I was a nice new subject for his long list of manipulators and liars.’
‘Stop, I’ve never thought you were anything like them.’
‘No, I won’t stop. Don’t think for a second I’ve forgotten how we met. Why we met. I wasn’t just some girl you saw across the room. You sidled up to me with a purpose and both of us know what that was, so let’s not start pretending. Or carry on pretending, I should say.’
‘Carry on? I haven’t pretended once. Were you pretending with me, Raina?’
Raina pulled a small, narrow box out of the tissue paper.
A lipstick. A deep scarlet. The tube was a beautiful gold.
It was expensive and exactly her style. It came with a small compact mirror which matched the aesthetic and reflected her own face back to her.
She could see the whole evening on her face, but her lips were almost bare.
Her usual red lip had been forgotten when she’d heard Matt arrive at the party.
She untwisted the tube and started applying the dark colour, loving its appearance the moment it hit her lips.
She knew it was from him. Not just because it was from Liberty, same as the cushion; she just knew.
She could feel him. He was almost pressed up against her from behind and she could smell that incredible scent he always seemed to wear.
She turned around to face him, tilting her chin so that her freshly painted lips caught the light.
‘How does it look?’ she asked softly.
He shook his head, gazing at her with a look of pain. ‘Beautiful.’
Her eyes dropped to his mouth. ‘No one’s ever made my mind wake up like you do.’
She expected him to blink in surprise or say something flippant, but he held her expression and nodded. ‘I know. I feel the same.’
They were almost touching. Raina looked from his dark eyes to his handsome face, a face that had become so familiar to her. His hands hovered over her hips, and there was a sudden flash of reverence in his face as his eyes dragged up and down her body. He brushed his fingers over her heart.
‘You don’t think I’m fair to the world, Raina, but you’re not fair to me.’
She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘Excuse me.’
‘You haven’t been fair to me since the day we met. You’ve tormented me. You wore this dress tonight. That isn’t fair.’
His thumb stroked the heartbeat in her neck, and he inhaled, as if drinking her in.
‘Did you wear this dress for him?’ he asked, his words barely audible.
Raina felt a current of desire pulse through her whole body. ‘What?’
She met his glassy eyes and watched as he let all of the want he was feeling flash across his face. ‘Did you wear this dress for him? For the guy who didn’t deserve you?’
Raina glared up at him. ‘No, asshole,’ she all but choked. ‘I wore it for you!’
He made a desperate sound and then his mouth was on hers and his hands were under her thighs, lifting her in one swift movement so she was on the edge of the kitchen island.
His kiss was fast and intense, and she kissed him back with complete abandon.
He left indents on her thighs as he held her, his mouth dragging over hers with firm kisses that stole the air from her lungs.
She clawed at his white shirt, pulling him into her so they were as close as possible.
He lifted one of her legs and hooked it around him while she snaked her arms about his neck.
‘Don’t ever,’ he said fiercely, as he pressed his mouth to her throat, ‘throw yourself away on someone like him.’
Raina’s breath came in sharp staccato pants as he moved his lips over hers again, gently slipping his tongue into her mouth. He coaxed her into a kiss that was deep and wet and all-consuming. She moved his hands to her breasts with a clear, unspoken instruction.
‘Should I throw myself away on you then?’ she whispered as she pulled him into her, trying to get their bodies as close as possible again. With her legs around his waist, she could feel how hard he was.
‘Yes,’ he said, before kissing her again.
She moaned against his mouth as his thumb brushed a nipple. She released his name on a sigh, and he made a deep sound of approval. When she slid her hand beneath his waistband to grip him in her fingers, he growled against her lips.
‘God, Raina,’ he groaned. ‘You’re a fucking dream. Can’t breathe when I’m around you.’
His hands were moving under her dress, and her free hand slid up to grip his hair when—
‘Oh, shit.’
Neither Tom nor Raina said the words, and the loud interruption caused them to break apart. Solana stood in the entryway of the kitchen with wide eyes and a completely astonished smile.
‘Tom was’ – Raina scrambled internally for an explanation – ‘giving me a birthday gift.’
Solana clicked her tongue, clearly fighting a laugh. ‘He certainly was.’
Raina glowered at her little sister. ‘What is it?’
Solana’s eyes fell to the packaging on the island counter. ‘Lipstick, is it? Looks good on the both of you.’
Raina snatched up a tissue and started dabbing at her mouth while Tom coughed gruffly, turning his back on Solana in an effort to compose himself.
‘What is it?’ Raina repeated.
Solana’s mirth subsided for a moment as she said, ‘I was just checking you were all right. But I can see that you . . . are.’
Raina was furious with her own flustered state and wished her sister would just quietly back out of the room and leave them be.
She felt Tom turn to press a reassuring kiss on her temple and then slide an arm around her waist, firmly holding her in place upon the counter.
As if he could sense her need to dash out of the room to lock herself in the downstairs toilet.
‘Matt is leaving,’ Solana added, a little apologetically. ‘Thought you should know.’
‘Oh, God,’ Raina muttered. ‘All right.’
She excused herself and moved into the hall, catching Matt as he was pulling on his boots. ‘Hey.’
He gave her a jerky sort of nod, avoiding her eyes. ‘You have make-out face, Rai.’
‘Matty,’ she said softly, choosing to ignore that comment. ‘I’m sorry. I knew she was off tonight; I had no idea she was going to do what she did.’
‘I know,’ he replied. ‘I know there’s no way you would have known, Raina. I know you.’
‘You don’t have to leave,’ she said, giving Nick a cursory glance to communicate that the statement extended to him also. ‘Honestly.’
Matt glanced behind her and something forlorn flickered on his face. ‘I came here . . . Well, it doesn’t matter.’
‘Stay, have a drink. Let me deal with Pep,’ Raina said, forcing herself to sound in good spirits.
‘That’s him?’
Raina followed Matt’s gaze. Tom was leaning against the staircase, watching the exchange, while Solana stood next to him, her eyes gleefully absorbing the entire scene.
‘That’s Tom,’ Raina said feebly. ‘He’s . . . a writer friend.’
‘You’re with him.’
He wasn’t asking, merely stating.
‘No,’ Raina said. ‘We’re not . . . we just . . . he’s just . . .’
‘It’s all good,’ Matt said softly. ‘He’s a lucky guy. And he seems smart. Like you. You always needed someone smart.’
‘I’m going to put Pepper in my bedroom and let her cool off.
’ Raina said it with more resolution than she felt.
If anything, she was completely distracted.
She was still teeming with electricity after what had happened in the kitchen.
While Solana had been playfully shocked by catching the two of them in the act, Raina knew it had been inevitable.
It would be dishonest to say it had gone down without any preamble or anticipation.
From the moment she’d glanced across the ballroom floor at the Hathaway Dinner, she’d thought about kissing Tom Branimir.
He’d presented a fascinating and attractive new entry to her London life.
He wore his disdain for most of the room so openly, she’d found it comical.
At first, she’d imagined it to be arrogance, but now, after weeks of knowing him, she was unsure of what to call it.
He didn’t consider himself more important than those around him.
He observed and judged and noted, never seeming to realize that he was in the story, not just watching it from a distance.
‘Pepper was right about all of it, Rai. I don’t know why I treated you the way I did,’ Matt finally breathed, stepping a little nearer. ‘I was in a weird crisis.’
Raina took one steady step backwards. ‘It’s in the past.’
The words were said with no bitterness. No resentment. Nor were they flat and indifferent. They were merely filled with truth. Full of the luxurious feeling of closure.
Besides, she reminded herself. Autistics don’t have the privilege of holding grudges. There wouldn’t be enough hours in the day.
The voices around her muffled as she disconnected from the scene, turning to look back at where she’d just been. Where she wanted to be.
He was still standing there. His eyes heavy and expectant. She moved towards him without a backwards glance or sideways look at the rest of the people filling the room. Upon reaching him, she pressed up against him and almost sighed when both of his hands came to rest on her hips.
She wanted to taste him again.
‘I want to take you to bed,’ he murmured, his voice a rumble in her ear. ‘When can all of these people leave?’
Raina had no answer. For her, they were already gone.