Chapter 15 #2
Sloan huffs a laugh and shakes his head. “Yeah, I hear you.” He pulls back and offers Ryan a fist bump before climbing in the backseat with me.
When the doors shut, I turn to the stunning man next to me. “What do you need, Sloan? I just want to help.”
He runs his fingers across his lips absentmindedly and I’m certain he’s thinking about the kiss he shared with Luke.
“I need to tell you a story.”
“We can do this another time. I know it’s been a long night. And if you feel like you need to tell the rest of the guys first, I understand that too.”
He kisses me and searches my eyes. “Thank you, but I want to tell you. I haven’t told anyone the whole thing.
I haven’t really talked about it all since Grant died.
I don’t know what’s happening, but I feel myself changing.
I want to be with you. I no longer want you to be with other guys, and I obviously have some shit to figure out with Luke, but you need to know the backstory before this gets any more out of hand. ”
Before he can begin the story in the back of the suburban, his cell phone dings with a text message alert.
He pulls it out of his pocket and opens the messages app.
I’m practically in his lap and he makes no move to hide the screen.
I laugh when I see Brett’s message in the group chat with the band.
Brett: 12:39am
So, you like dick, huh? How could you never tell me this? Seems like kind of a big deal.
Sloan: 12:39am
Jesus Christ. No one can keep their fucking mouth shut in this band. You’re all worse than gossiping church ladies.
Brett: 12:40am
Need I remind you that it was YOU who outed Bri for being pregnant AND you outed Ryan for banging my sister?
Noah: 12:40am
At least he did it at a reasonable hour.
Sloan: 12:40am
Oh goody. The whole gang is here.
Brett: 12:41am
Technically we’re missing Ryan.
Sloan: 12:41am
Technically, we just dropped him off so he’s probably plowing your sister now that he’s done running his fucking mouth.
Noah: 12:42am
Is it true?
Sloan: 12:42am
That Ryan’s fucking Emma right now? Most definitely.
Brett 12:43am
*middle finger emoji* *puking emoji* *Monkey covering its ears emoji*
Noah 12:43am
No, dumbass. Is it true that you kissed Luke at the club?
Sloan 12:44am
It’s complicated.
Noah 12:44am
Brett’s right. Seems like a big thing to hide from us. You know we don’t care, right?
Brett 12:45am
Speak for yourself, Kink. If he’s into guys, I care. In fact, I want to know why he never came on to me. I have a nice dick and he’s seen it multiple times!
Beside me, Sloan snorts a laugh of his own. He may not have known it, but this is exactly what he needed and the fact that his bandmates knew it shouldn’t surprise me…or him.
“Are you reading this shit?” he asks me with a smile.
“Mm-hmm,” I reply with my head on his shoulder. “They’re good guys.”
“The best,” he answers as he begins typing on his phone again with his arm around me, pinning me to his side.
Sloan: 12:46am
B, you’re not really my type.
Brett: 12:46am
The fuck is your type? I’m ripped, I have nice hair, I play the drums better than God, and my dick is perfection.
Noah: 12:47am
Oh my god. Sloan, I think Brett’s feelings are actually hurt.
Sloan: 12:47am
Brett, I’ll be happy to analyze your dick next time I’m drunk enough to not realize it’s you. Happy?
Brett: 12:48am
It’ll do.
A lull in the conversation has Sloan offering an explanation.
Sloan: 12:51am
Yes, I’m attracted to both men and women.
I haven’t been with a guy since I was in the Army.
I fell for Luke hard and fast but the reason he and I aren’t together is because Luke is a homophobic bastard responsible for the death of the man who helped me pick up the pieces Luke left behind when he turned me down. So, like I said…it’s complicated.
Noah: 12:52am
Fuck, man.
Brett: 12:52am
I have questions.
When I read Brett’s last text all I can think is, don’t we all?
Sloan: 12:53am
Of course you do…
No, I’ve never shit on anyone.
Yes, it feels good.
Yes, I give a better blow job than any of your wives/girlfriends/baby mamas.
No, I’m not going to prove it.
12:54am
I’m usually on top even though guys freak the fuck out when you’re waving an 8.5 inch erection in their face.
No need to prove that, you’ve all seen it.
12:55am
Hopefully that clears things up.
We’ll talk tomorrow after I kick Ryan’s ass.
Brett: 12:56am
Since he seems to be occupied *puke emoji* I recommend getting that first punch in while he’s still asleep.
Fucker’s huge.
If he doesn’t pull his punches, he’ll give you brain damage.
Sloan’s still laughing when he types his last text message before sticking his phone in the cupholder.
Sloan: 12:57am
Thanks for the heads up.
Juan pulls into Sloan’s driveway a short while later.
We thank he and Tim for keeping us safe and head inside.
Sloan’s mood is noticeably lighter as we flip the lights on in the living room.
I’m ready to head up to bed and comfort him any way he wants but he reaches for my hips and turns me to face him.
“About that story,” he says with a sad smile. It should be a crime for Sloan Alexander to be sad. He’s always so full of light and laughter. He’s usually bringing everyone up to his level, and I don’t like to see him dragged down to where us normal humans reside emotionally.
But if he and I are going to continue seeing each other, this story must be told, so I sit on the couch and tuck my legs under me while Sloan sits next to me and proceeds to tell me a gut-wrenching tale of forbidden love, loss, suicide, grief, pain, and the emptiness left in the wake of losing Grant and Hailey Tomlin.
“I met Luke in basic training. We became fast friends. He was easy to get along with and he was clearly nervous about enlisting. Focusing on keeping him calm was actually really helpful for me. I missed the band, I missed the music, but keeping Luke sane gave me something to focus on.”
It's impossible to keep my hands to myself while he’s baring his soul like this and I hope he doesn’t mind as I splay my hand across his thigh.
“Luke and I were assigned to the same unit. Our superiors knew we were close and were nice enough to put us on a lot of the same details in the beginning. It was a smart move on their part, Luke and I always worked well together. He was the yin to my yang. We had whole conversations without words and always moved in tandem. We were an operator’s wet dream and I was attracted to him from the start.
He’s even hotter now, but fucking hell, you should’ve seen him out on a morning PT run, dripping with sweat, or with a tactical knife strapped to his thigh.
I fell for him hard but he made it clear he wasn’t interested in anything but a traditional relationship with a woman.
Not wanting to lose him completely, I pushed my feelings aside.
There were occasional glances and grazes that made me think he felt something too, but after a while, I started to believe my lust for him was just playing tricks on me. ”
I untuck my legs from the couch as he talks and hold out my hand.
“Bed,” I answer the confusion written on his face. “You’re going to be exhausted when you finish this story.”
“Fine, but can we be naked?” He smirks.
“You sure you want that right now?”
“Yes. I want to be as close to you as I can get. You keep the nightmares away.”
I nod and we climb the stairs hand in hand. He pauses the story while we get ready for bed but as soon as we’re naked and under the sheets, he picks right back up where he left off, pulling me into him, my head resting on his chest.
“A while later, I met Hailey Tomlin at an event on base. She was breathtaking. Poised, regal, kind. She had a quiet strength about her that I was always aware of. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her all night.
The only problem was she was married to my C.O.
and as rules in the military go, that’s like the biggest no-no.
But two months later, my C.O. gave me orders for a training exercise in the desert.
He said I was selected because of my attitude and attention to detail.
When I told Luke about it, he couldn’t hide his disappointment that it was me that was chosen to accompany the C.O. and not him.”
Sloan blows out a sigh and starts tracing circles on my side before continuing. It’s close to one-thirty in the morning now, but all my fatigue has vanished at hearing Sloan open up like this.
“The training exercise lasted two weeks and on our fourth night there, we were sharing a beer after doing jumps all day…I fucking hate jumping out of airplanes by the way.”
I chuckle as a shiver runs down his spine.
“And we start talking about our childhoods, how we ended up in the military. I told him about the band and he laughed and said everyone wants to be famous. I told him it wasn’t about the fame.
It was about the music and I really believed we had something good going between the four of us.
I never went anywhere without my guitar, even then, so when we got back to our dorm, he asked me to play. ”
The look in Sloan’s eyes as he relives this memory has my heart ripping in half one muscle fiber at a time. He has to pause several times to get himself under control so he can continue.