Chapter 27 Snow
SNOW
“Christmas is…” June stands next to me, leaning against my desk while counting on her fingers. “Two weeks away? Less? More?”
“Something like that,” I reply, not looking up from the patient charts I’m in the process of double-checking.
“And I haven’t even thought of anything to wear to the Christmas party. Are you going to go?”
“No.”
“You never go,” June whines.
“I know. It’s just not my thing. And I say this with love because we all work together, but spending three hours drinking watered-down orange juice and party food past the use-by because Jen is so cheap is not my idea of fun.” Finishing my typing, I finally glance upward. “Besides, I’m going—”
The words catch in my throat.
For the past few months, I’d told people I wouldn’t be here at Christmas because I was determined to fly out and visit my family.
That’s not my reality anymore, but the reminder hurts.
Despite how adrift we are, I’ve told myself that the distance is why it feels like they don’t care.
When you’re thousands of miles apart, the everyday stuff you usually share with your family just doesn’t happen.
“You’re going…?” June prompts. “Are you taking some time off? After the year you’ve had, you probably need it. With Caleb and the stuff with the needle and all that…” June trails off suddenly and clears her throat. “Can I help you, Officer?”
I follow her line of sight to a cop standing on the other side of my counter with his arm resting near the small candy jar.
“Miss Montoya?”
June points at me as I speak up.
“That’s me. I’m Miss Montoya.” My heart violently starts to pound as I’m dragged back to the day the cops came to tell me Caleb was dead.
Has something happened to Hannah or my other friends?
Or worse, Xander?
Sweat breaks out across my palms as I stand slowly.
“Has something happened?”
“Is there somewhere we can speak privately?”
Not again. Please not again.
Those words swirl and weave around my mind as I lead the cop to one of the empty consultation rooms, walking on legs ready to fold at my knees at any moment. Once inside, I close the door and face the officer. “Please, has something happened?”
“I’m not here to deliver bad news,” he says, reaching into his pocket.
My thundering heart skips a painful beat and I wince, fighting the reflex to glare at him. “You really should have led with that.” I press a hand to my chest, trying to calm my racing pulse.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. Please, what is this about?”
“I’m here at the behest of your bank. As I’m sure you’re aware, they have been investigating the misappropriation of funds from your account and are willing to grant you a portion of compensation through their insurance.”
“Oh.” That sounds like good news. So why have they sent the cops to tell me? “Is there a but coming?”
The officer nods. “The rest of the money will be reclaimed from the account it was sent to, regardless of whether the recipient has withdrawn the funds or not. If they have, then we will be looking into that as theft.”
I’m getting my money back?
Wait… the recipient.
Dickson.
“You’re going to take the money back from the person who got it?”
“That’s correct. With some more information from you, we might be able to begin criminal proceedings against them in the event that they were working with Caleb.”
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
I don’t need Dickson coming after me with some twisted claim that I’ve stolen the eight grand back from him.
And what if he tells the cops I came to visit and hit him with the lamp? Will I end up in jail?
“Miss Montoya?” The officer steps forward. “Are you alright?”
“I, uhm…” My hand moves over my chest. “I’m sorry. This is so much more than I was expecting. I thought I would just get my money back, but this is…”
“What’s the problem?” His eyes narrow. “Has something happened?”
“No, I just… uhm… can’t I just get the money back from the bank and forget the rest?”
“I was under the impression it was a substantial amount stolen from you.”
“It was, I mean it is, but I don’t uhm… I don’t want to pursue criminal proceedings.”
“You don’t?”
“No.” My pulse races faster and faster as Dickson’s phantom hand closes around my throat. “I’m sure it’s long gone. It doesn’t even matter.”
“Miss Montoya, do you understand that even if you choose not to take part, the bank can still pursue criminal proceedings? Against anyone who was involved.” His words drip with the implication that somehow, I’m involved, and if this reaches Dickson, then any credibility I have will go out the window.
My turning up at his door and attacking him will surely look like we’re working together and he tried to double-cross me.
“Uhm… That’s fine.” What else can I say?
Hot sweat prickles down my spine and soaks into my blouse.
It clings to my skin with every subtle movement and my next few breaths are hot and restricted.
“Hm.” The officer writes something down. “While I’m here, I had a couple of follow-up questions about what happened to your partner, Caleb.”
“My ex,” I correct as fast as a lash.
“Your ex. It was your car he was driving, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Did you give him the keys?”
“No… no, he stole them. He’d do that regularly. Once, I even found that he’d sent away for new keys so he could have his own set.” My hand slides up to my throat as if the contact can help remove the lump slowly forming.
“Have you been contacted by your insurance yet?”
I shake my head. “The last I heard was just after the crash. They said they couldn’t do anything until the car was released and I was told that couldn’t happen until you all had closed your case. Wasn’t it an accident?”
“It is being ruled that way, but when there are large sums of money involved, we have to explore all avenues.”
“All avenues?” The walls of the room draw in closer. “What do you mean?”
“Can anyone corroborate your whereabouts that night?”
“I… no. I mean, Caleb locked me in and I had to climb out of my window the next morning, so maybe someone saw me, but… I’m sorry, do you think I had something to do with what happened to him? I thought the car slipped on the ice?”
“Like I said, all avenues.” His smile doesn’t reach his eyes.
I spend the next twenty minutes answering questions about my apartment, my relationship with Caleb, and the maintenance of my car.
While the conversation was short, by the time he leaves, I’m exhausted.
My refusal to pursue criminal proceedings to save myself from Dickson’s anger seems to have presented the cops with a motive for me to do away with Caleb as part of some sort of money scam.
I can’t wrap my head around it.
How is this even happening?
Caleb stole my money and died in an accident, yet I’m being treated like a suspect.
How much more of this can I take?
I wander the hallways in a daze, letting voices and noise wash over me as I take a loose path toward the bathroom.
Before I get there, however, something cool wraps around my wrist and I’m guided out of the corridor and into a dark patient room where the blinds are pulled closed and the only light comes from a monitoring machine left in the corner.
“Sit,” comes a familiar voice that makes my heart leap.
Still in my daze, I’m encouraged to sit down on the bed and then Xander’s face swims through the darkness and appears before me.
“Xander?”
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he says softly, his fingers curling under my chin to keep my head up and my eyes on him. “June told me the cops took you away and then I find you wandering the hall like a zombie. What happened?”
“I…” How is he here? Xander somehow found me in this maze of a hospital. I’m amazed.
“Take your time.” His voice is low and soft.
The handsome features of his face appear angular in such a low light but his eyes, dark as they are, become my grounding point.
I blink and tears warm the corners of my eyes.
“What if it’s too much?” I whisper.
“It can’t be too much.”
“You’re the only good thing I have left. I don’t want to be too much.” How I ache to bury in his chest and forget everything, to exist just as me and him for the rest of my life.
“Talk to me,” he says. “That’s the only way I can prove you’re not too much.”
“The cops wanted to talk about Caleb. Pursuing criminal proceedings against those who the money went to, and they wanted my help, but all I could think about was Dickson. If anything happens and he loses that money, he’s going to come looking for it again.
And he’ll take it from me and I don’t have it. ”
Xander doesn’t speak.
“Plus, if they find out I went there and attacked him… it’ll look so bad for me.
So I said no, but they said the bank could do it without me.
And then they were asking me questions about Caleb and my car as if I had something to do with what happened to him, like it’s connected to my missing money.
And it is, technically, but I didn’t do anything. I swear I didn’t.”
Xander’s hand remains a comforting, cool grip just under my chin until I’ve poured out every detail from the cops, then he moves to sit next to me on the bed. His hand rests on my forearm, then it slides down to my wrist until we’re palm to palm and our fingers curl together.
“The cops might be fishing for a way to close the case with a bang, but you haven’t done anything wrong. Caleb stole your money and your car. His debt will be traced to that asshole. You’re within your rights to try and get your money back, and you forgot something important.”
“Which is?” I turn and look up at him as he gazes down at me.
“You reacted in self-defense. He wasn’t letting you leave, and I can attest to that, given what I heard on the phone.” Xander’s hand tightens in mine. “You’re not alone in this.”
“How are you able to work through all of that so clearly? It feels like it’s crashing together in my mind and I couldn’t breathe.
All I could think about was how guilty I felt because if I hadn’t argued with Caleb and said all those awful things, then he wouldn’t have been so angry and he might have driven better. ”
I blink and the tears finally fall, tracing two wet paths down my cheeks.
“I tell myself he was an asshole, and I know he was. I know he was a horrible person, but he just keeps fucking up my life and he’s not even here anymore. And I don’t know what to do.”
“Easy. Take a breath, darling.”
My heart breaks as that soft name washes over me, and my eyes close.
Xander’s arm slips around my shoulders, and he pulls me close until I’m buried in his chest with his tie clutched in my hand.
“This is the last hurdle. The cops will do their jobs, and even if it looks suspicious, given everything you’ve been going through, I’d say you are within your rights to get your money back. One last hurdle and Caleb will be out of your life forever, including his memory.”
That makes the tears come harder because Xander has no idea how wrong he is.
The baby inside me will be a permanent reminder and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Caleb will get the last laugh because what he’s left behind will destroy the good I finally have.
I shove it out of my mind, refusing to dwell on the baby or the impending end to my bliss with Xander.
“You’re okay,” Xander soothes, rubbing my back slowly. “You’re going to be okay.”
“It’s not just this.” I sniffle, finally leaning up from his chest. “June was talking about Christmas and my trip to see my parents and it just sort of hit me that I won’t be able to do that for a long time now.
And I miss them. I haven’t seen them in years, and when the cop was telling me that they could get some of my money back, I got this little hope that it would be enough. ”
Xander’s hand slides up my back and settles on the side of my neck. “But?”
“But even if it is, nothing will be closed in time for me to get any money, and I don’t know when I’ll have enough savings to go and see them again.
My apartment is bleeding me dry, I’m spending what little I have on transport until Insurance clears my car, and I’m just…
” My head sags slightly into Xander’s comforting touch.
“Then let me pay for it.”
My heart stalls in my chest and our eyes meet. “What?”
“Let me pay for your ticket. You’ve been through enough, Snow, and if seeing your family is what you really want to do, then let me help you.”
“Xander… it’s too much. I can’t ask you to do something like that!”
His smile, as soft as ever, warms my heart like his soul is wrapping me up in a blanket. “You’re not asking. I’m offering because I care about you, Snow, and seeing you so distraught is breaking me a little. So let me help you.”