chapter 53 ⚚
"Am I dreaming?" Lilith murmured softly as soon as she registered what was actually happening.
Valentina's fingers were under her—or not really exactly her, but already planned to be hers—shirt, resting on her breasts.
Everything truly felt softer. She herself felt softer in her own skin. Valentina's hand felt softer too.
It wasn't exactly sexual. As Lilith found a way to warm herself by pressing her back against Valentina's body through the whole night, Valentina's hand had found its own way as well.
And Lilith was more than okay with it.
Lately, she had been waking up in a woman's arms.
And it wasn't just any woman.
"Why?" Valentina mumbled back, still half asleep, not quite understanding what the girl meant.
"Because I'm with you," Lilith chuckled softly.
"Right now," she added after a few seconds of silence, suddenly fearing it might have sounded like something it shouldn't.
Not that it would be wrong—objectively, to both women, stripping everything away from anxious thoughts. But it would be quite a situation if wondering whether Lilith and Valentina were actually together happened while one of them was already drifting back to sleep.
Lilith wouldn't like it to be that way and she assumed Valentina wouldn't like it either.
As much as Valentina Salvatore was a grown woman who would only wince and laugh at unclear, not fully established relationships, she didn't feel that certain anxious rush.
The only rush she felt was a positive one.
Letting Lilith take her time was a tricky thing, and Valentina wasn't stupid. Sometimes things didn't need to be said to be known.
She didn't know the details.
Not yet. And maybe that was all that mattered to her.
The woman went right back to sleep and it made Lilith smile. It felt so nice and natural.
But the second sleep didn't last long.
Lilith stood up, escaping the woman's arm, and picked up her phone from the nightstand, glancing at a few notifications. She made her way towards the slightly open door, though she didn't even manage to touch the handle before she felt a harsh tug at her wrist from behind her.
She made a sound that couldn't exactly be described as anything, though the closest thing to it was a gasp, as once again the woman startled her.
It reminded her of the night when her head had unfortunately been the victim of the scare as well as her fragile mind—Valentina standing over her, looking like a character from a horror film.
Just because it was morning and not the middle of the night, Lilith wasn't as shocked when she turned around and saw Valentina. She looked a bit troubled. Her hair was messy, and she looked touched—too awake for someone who had been sleeping only seconds ago.
"What are you doing?" the woman asked, as if she were being met with something insane, something not quite human.
"I thought I'd go downstairs and make myself some tea?" Lilith said, tilting her head and looking down at her wrist, still caught in the woman's grip.
"You could've told me," the woman said, releasing it.
"You were sleeping," Lilith murmured, confused.
"Then you could've woken me up," Valentina answered, shaking her head softly and sighing.
"Are you okay?" the blonde haired girl asked, worried.
"Yes. I'd just preferred you to wake me up," Valentina said, almost desperately.
She turned around and sat on the bed, and Lilith watched her as if she were a magical creature.
"I don't like it," Valentina stated simply. Then, as if to make everything crystal clear, she added, "You leaving my bed. I don't accept it."
The way it was said made Lilith smile a little, holding back a chuckle.
"Why is that?" she asked, curious, taking a few steps towards the woman, who looked up at her.
Valentina took a few seconds—genuinely looking like she was thinking and actually thinking—before muttering, very self consciously, "I don't know?" She looked a bit shy in that moment, revealing something that wasn't quite rational or easily explainable.
"It's just my... thing. Don't do that," she continued, very simply.
"Okay. I won't," Lilith nodded, smiling fondly.
She probably thought of it as something more romantic than it actually was. The thought of the woman wanting to trap her in bed with her and not letting her leave was appealing.
"Remember... please," Valentina said, the matter evidently very important to her.
"I will," Lilith declared once again, like a soldier.
Valentina's lips pressed into a thin line of a small smile as she exhaled. "Don't you feel it when I leave the bed?" she asked, as if to justify why she didn't like it, though she had truly forgotten about something.
"I sleep like I'm dead," the angel winked quickly at her, as if guilty.
"Right," Valentina chuckled, her hands wrapping lightly around Lilith's legs as the girl looked at her adoringly.
"So... back to sleep?" Lilith asked, looking at the bed. "Or do you need to get ready for work?" she added dramatically.
It was strange how she woke up with Valentina at such early hours and didn't feel dead.
"No work today," Valentina smiled at her. "December is very busy. I'm trying to take a small break," she adde.
"Really?" Lilith's eyes widened just slightly, like she had been offered sweets. She received a small nod from Valentina before the woman stood up and became the one looking down at her.
"But I need to take care of a few things today."
So the morning started.
"Am I allowed to leave the room?" Lilith's head tilted teasingly as she reached for the door.
The subtle furrow of the woman's brows was enough for Lilith to notice. She opened the door anyway, soft giggles following her out.
She went downstairs and made herself tea, just as she had intended in the first place. In the spare time, she decided which of Valentina's mugs would be her favourite—and which one she would use for the rest of her life—while Valentina washed her face and changed her clothes.
Lilith came back to the bedroom and flopped down on the bed again, this time careful as she placed the tea on the nightstand. She lay in the middle of the bed, taking up both pillows.
She was scrolling on her phone when Valentina came back in, holding her robe in her hand and tossing it onto the edge of the bed. She was dressed in tailored pants–very casual, for her—and a nicely cut black top that clung to her skin.
Lilith's eyes immediately travelled up and down, appreciating the woman, lingering on parts that were, obviously, very inappropriate as she lay there.
"I like it," she said, grinning, as Valentina sat down at her vanity.
The stare was so open, so obvious, that the woman could only raise an eyebrow at her.
"Thank you, sweetheart," she said, slipping a ring onto her finger.
And just as she was starting her skincare, her phone rang next to Lilith on the nightstand.
The blonde's eyes lifted from her own phone at the familiar ringtone.
"Just decline it," Valentina said, not turning around.
Lilith's finger went up to the red button, declining the call while reading the contact name aloud to Valentina. "Moore work."
She let out a little giggle at how the woman had named it only after a last name—which was normal, but maybe everything Valentina did felt different to Lilith.
"Can you text him that I'll call back in the evening?" Valentina murmured, applying some sort of serum to her face.
"Sure," Lilith said shyly. She felt like it was a big thing for her—so casual, yet something that warmed her heart immensely. She took the woman's phone into her hands and before a second, she sat up, turning the screen towards the woman's back.
"Val," Lilith mumbled.
She only received a short look before Valentina turned her head back around. Instead of taking her own phone and unlocking it for Lilith she only said, "1111."
Once again, Lilith felt a warmth at how freely the brunette shared such things with her, but a small laugh escaped her. "You're not serious," she muttered, lying back down again as she unlocked the phone.
Valentina smiled at herself in the mirror, picking up her moisturiser.
"What's yours then?" she asked, when the girl shamelessly judged her choice of a simple passcode.
For a second, Lilith wondered if she should say it. If she should trust Valentina, but unfortunately trust was something she didn't have trust in.
So Valentina didn't receive an answer.
"What? Are you trying to hide something?" the woman asked.
"Oh yes, my notes app. There's lots of notes with reasons why I hate Valentina Salvatore," Lilith joked, grinning to herself as she typed the message.
"I'm even in your notes app?" Valentina asked, picking up the same ironic tone.
"Special, aren't you?" Lilith hummed, looking at the message, trying respectfully not to read the texts that were so sweetly presented in front of her.
"Should I add a dot at the end?" she asked.
"Yes," the woman replied. Lilith's finger pressed down on it, then on send. Escaping the messages, she looked at the wallpaper as well as the layout of the apps.
"So you have nothing to hide?" she asked—or rather, stated.
"Why would I?" Valentina murmured.
"If I'd like to make a list of reasons why I hate Lilith Hawthorne so much, I'd write it on paper," she added, making Lilith roll her eyes.
The blonde haired girl very innocently went through the woman's phone, scrolling through the small number of apps.
"Do you even have any fun apps?" she asked, as if she were a professional critic of how someone's phone should look.
There were the most basic apps, as well as a few social media ones. Everything was organised but without much thought—just like the wallpaper, which was one of the fabric default ones, only changed to something darker.
"What, would you like to play a game on my phone, Lilith?" the brunette asked, teasing the girl.
"Maybe," Lilith sighed in reply, closing the phone and sitting up.
"Are you doing your makeup?" she asked, excitedly noticing Valentina tapping a little bit of concealer under her eyes with her finger.
Valentina gave her a focused, quiet "Mhm," still intent on what she was doing. Lilith stood up and asked, "Can I help?" as she neared the sitting woman.
"You want to do my makeup?" Valentina asked, her eyes landing on Lilith's eager face.
"Yes, please," Lilith said, offering a pleading look, as if to say that if her offer would be rejected she'd cry and absolutely despise the woman.
"Sure," Valentina said, exhaling a little laugh, tapping her thighs to signal Lilith to sit.
"Nope," Lilith murmured, sitting on the thankfully large vanity, covering half of the mirror with her back.
She put her feet on Valentina's lap instead, letting the entire weight of her legs rest on the woman.
"I need to focus," she said, taking the concealer from the woman's hands.
The product was in proper glass, obviously a bit more expensive than the ones Lilith used.
All of the products seemed like ones Lilith had saved money for, praying they would actually be better quality, like people said.
Not only were the products more expensive, but cleaner.
Lilith internally winced at the state of her own makeup, but after a short thought about the larger amount of makeup she used compared to Valentina, she decided it was reasonable.
She patted a little more concealer under the woman's eyes, as well as a bit on her forehead and chin, so focused that she didn't mutter a word and dared Valentina to move.
She went on with a warmer cream bronzer that worked nicely with the woman's olive skin, slightly less tan because of winter. She made sure not to put on much, since it was just everyday makeup, adding a bit of it on her nose and using her finger for everything, making it seem more natural.
Turning to see if there was any liquid blush, she muttered, "Where's blush?"
Valentina immediately reacted. "No blush, Lilith."
The girl truly sulked, attempting to sound harsh. "Quiet." She failed, only making the woman smile fondly.
"Give me the blush," Lilith continued, and with a sigh, Valentina opened a drawer on the side. One hand wrapped around Lilith's ankle as if to make sure she wouldn't fall, because of Valentina moving slightly.
As she plucked out the blush, which was clearly not used often, Lilith grinned triumphantly.
The shade was rather cold and a bit darker, nothing like orange undertones or bright pink, while Lilith's own blush was soft and pale pink. She applied two little dots on each of Valentina's cheekbones, a bit higher than usual.
"You'll look cute," she said, smiling at the clearly unhappy Valentina.
When she was done, she moved on to mascara, gently applying it, as well as using a brown pencil—rather meant for brows—as eyeliner.
She brushed the woman's brows, applied a bit of tinted gel and put a touch of powder under her eyes, on her forehead and chin, making sure not to make anything too matte.
She finished with a nude lipliner and lipstick, applied precisely on the lips.
"Done," she announced, after taking far more time than Valentina would normally spend on her own makeup.
Her feet disappeared from the woman's lap, and she jumped off the vanity so Valentina could look at herself. Even if the products or the amount hadn't changed much, the placement was slightly different—and Valentina liked it.
"You don't need makeup, but—" Lilith leaned down.
"You look beautiful," she finished, placing a soft, very small kiss on the tip of the woman's nose.
?
The morning went slow, but Lilith dreaded the moment she would have to return to her own apartment to get ready for a lecture later in the day.
She stole a few bites of Valentina's breakfast, as well as some fruit which Valentina insisted on.
She felt like the laziest cat in the world, especially wrapped in such soft beige cotton sweatpants and a sweater that belonged to Valentina—which was surprising, since the woman's clothes that she wore at home were mostly silky.
While both of them tidied up the kitchen after breakfast, Valentina's doorbell rang.
She looked around for a second, of course not expecting anyone, and wiped her hands dry, muttering, "Let me check," before leaving the kitchen.
Lilith could hear a few mutters, the door opening and closing, as she finished cleaning up alone.
When she did, she turned around, escaping the kitchen to the enormous living room, furrowing her brows as she saw Valentina holding a large but thin, flat package.
"What's that?" the girl asked, as Valentina's fingers began to open it, trying not to use scissors or a knife to help herself.
"Something I've been waiting for," Valentina answered, genuinely looking excited and happy to receive whatever it was.
And as soon as Valentina put it on the floor against the wall, she looked at it proudly.
Lilith smiled at how much joy a new painting for the penthouse brought the woman.
"Pretty," Lilith commented, and she wasn't sure if she was talking about the painting or Valentina's smile.
"It's you," the woman said.
It was rather hard for Lilith to understand at first.
What she saw on the painting was an old fashioned sort of art room, with much wood, large windows clearly indicating autumn, but with traces of sunlight flowing in.
An antique candlestick sat in the middle, colder and almost pinkish white, yet as bright as the sunlight streaming around it—almost magical and strangely, godly.
The painting seemed a bit lighter than the rest of the works and general design in the penthouse, still keeping some of the toned browns and greys, if not the brighter candlelight and sun.
"Me?" Lilith mumbled, confused after a few seconds. "What do you mean?"
Once again, Valentina's face took on a shyer look.
"There's this artist we often work with, and I needed a new painting," she started, circling around what she actually wanted to say, unsure how to phrase it. "It's you," she repeated, trying to make Lilith understand.
"How I see you," she added, clarifying.
Lilith's eyes returned immediately to the painting.
"You see me as...." she started, tilting her head.
"I see you as my..." Valentina began, struggling to find the right word and failing terribly.
While getting the idea across to the artist had seemed easy, explaining it now—to Lilith—was somehow impossible.
"Sun? Light?" Lilith's head tilted once again, offering words to the woman while finally catching up with everything.
"Angel?" Valentina offered another word, asking as if the painting weren't entirely just for her interpretation.
Lilith's eyes softened as soon as the word was spoken. They caught the same word on the bottom corner of the painting, which was also its title.
"Angel," she repeated fondly, almost not believing.
Her body turned directly to Valentina's as she stared at her.
"You're..." she started, but tears began filling her eyes. As soon as she felt them, her hands covered her face, trying not to cry.
"Lilith... darling," Valentina said, worried, immediately wrapping the girl in a hug. Her hand went to the top of Lilith's head, caressing her hair as if to soothe her.
"Don't cry," she said, kissing the top of the girl's head.
Lilith wondered if there was a flawed side to Valentina. One that, objectively, healthily, and rationally, could be considered bad.
She knew that Gabrielle was extremely unpunctual and painfully honest. She knew that Oscar was impulsive and handled stress in ways that could sometimes hurt someone.
She knew that her dad was bad at accepting change.
She knew that her mother was awful with words, and with explaining them.
She even knew that Miss Lockhart was terrible at feeling like she didn't understand something.
Ignoring and erasing the complexities of all of them being just people, maybe it was all about simple human things.
Was it the effect of adoration and simple devotion that made Lilith not focus on the fact that Valentina was horrible at meeting new people and both handling and living through things in the moment? Even if it worked out for her that way.
She guessed so.
But lately, she had been torturing herself over it, without reason. It was hard for her to accept that Valentina could simply be... just a great woman.
Was that even possible?
Gabrielle was a good human too, but it felt different.
Sometimes Lilith was met with a cold shower of someone being plainly bad, even though she had already experienced a lot of that cruelty in her life.
This time, it was a cold shower of something good. Something that should be protected.
Valentina was such warmth, such surprise to her. The closest she could compare her to, was pure euphoria.
"Sorry," she mumbled finally, looking up and sniffing softly.
"Thank you." Her lips pressed into a thin line as she looked at Valentina, who offered her nothing more than something pure.
"Do you like it?" the woman asked, now grinning.
"No, I hate it," Lilith said like a brat, her hand softly smacking the woman's stomach, only to bury her face into Valentina's chest a second later.
"You're the angel," the girl murmured, because maybe that was the most honest truth.
"I do feel like I'm in heaven when I'm around you, but..." Valentina started, laughing at how her words sounded like a bad pick up line, which made Lilith laugh immediately too.
Valentina was truly just a sweetener in Lilith's life—but the sweet parts sometimes had to end.
Though Lilith was trying to tell herself and learning, that she could wait for them patiently, hoping they would come again and again every day and that this sweetness wouldn't leave her.
Standing in the living room, clinging to Valentina in front of the painting, was definitely her favourite sweetness of the day.
Maybe making out in front of the woman's door, already dressed and ready to leave, while Valentina's hand somehow landed under the covers of her clothes at her waist and breasts, was her favourite too.
Did it really matter, though?
Valentina was her favourite—that was the most important.
"I'll be late," Lilith murmured, out of breath.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" the brunette asked, raising her brow, looking impossibly smug.
"Come back to bed with me?" she added between another peck that landed on Lilith's lips, making Lilith weak, both mentally and physically.
"Val," she murmured, her eyes softening.
"Angel," Valentina murmured back, squeezing the blonde girl's waist.
"No. I'm leaving," Lilith said, trying to sound assertive, even if all she got was Valentina laughing at her.
"Are you?" the woman coaxed, almost mocking how hard it was for Lilith not to just stand there for a few more minutes, stealing a few more kisses.
"Yes," Lilith nodded, taking the woman's hands off her body.
But even so, she leaned in towards the woman's neck, leaving a few quick kisses before escaping her personal space seconds later.
"Call me later," Valentina said, crossing her arms under her chest.
"I will," Lilith smiled charmingly, turning around—but then stopping. Her hand went to her jacket's pocket, fishing out her phone. Turning it on, she held the screen up for Valentina to see while the woman watched.
"By the way... I changed it," she said, pressing the first number four times to unlock her phone. "It's 1111 now, too."
She winked softly at the woman before fully turning around and saying, "Bye, Miss Salvatore."
Was it attractive?
Lilith hoped it was, and that it evoked the same emotions in Valentina that Valentina evoked in her.
Though she was too shy to fully experience Valentina's reaction, she smiled ear to ear on her ride back home.
?
What even was December?
A month of torture, definitely.
Holidays didn't seem that bad, especially for Valentina.
She liked them.
She was graced with a great family and an overall good life. But almost every human in this world had to work, and as much as Valentina enjoyed it—and sometimes did too much—there was a difference between willingly doing it and being painfully forced to.
And, also as much as Oscar Hawthorne was a great employee, someone really should teach him how to calm down for once.
"Are you sure it's alright?" he asked, gesturing at a dozen different things with his hands, which Valentina stopped interpreting after a few minutes.
"Yes, just make those lines... cleaner," she said, pointing with her manicured nail at the iPad Oscar held.
"Sure," he said quickly, but then, after a bit of thought, he added, "Maybe this could be a little higher? What do you think?" He pointed at something Valentina hadn't even noticed.
Even though Valentina didn't often say such things—because it would imply carelessness and a lack of thought—she threw out, "Do whatever you want."
"This curve looks weird," he murmured to himself again.
"I am going to fire you," Valentina said, her tone shifting from desperate for a break from his babbling to strict authority.
"What?" he straightened his back.
"I am going to fire you if you won't stop worrying about it," she said, leaning back in her chair.
"I'm stressed. I apologize," Oscar said, his tired, very similar blue eyes squinting softly—eyes that Valentina would recognize in a moment.
"It'll be alright, yeah?" she hummed, unable to hide how much influence the blonde girl had on the way she reacted in that moment.
"Yeah, thanks," he said, smiling for once, the pen no longer swirling anxiously between his fingers.
He stood up to leave, but then, prompted by a very light, almost kind reassurance, he decided to speak up about something that troubled him.
"I know that you and Lili went on a date," he said.
Valentina looked at him, her eyes widening slightly, as if he had read her thoughts in that exact moment.
She nodded.
What a poor man, thinking she didn't already know.
"And you probably know that I wasn't the best these past months, but I was worried," he explained, though Valentina's brows furrowed slightly.
"And I'm really, really okay with it," he finished, honestly, as if trying to convince her that he was truly fine with his sister dating his boss.
"I'm glad," Valentina offered him a tiny smile.
She didn't actually care if he was fine with it, but being on her best behaviour, she tried to give him as much respect as possible.
"But you know how it is," he laughed lightly. "When you guys will break up, or something will happen, it'll be extremely uncomfortable."
And maybe Valentina shouldn't have given him that much respect from the start.
Because who did Oscar Hawthorne think he was, saying such things straight to her face?