13. 2-For-1 Special #3
I stroke my hand through her hair, down her back, as she snuggles closer, nudging her leg between mine.
She’s given me so much today, pieces of herself she’s handed over willingly while I hold back, and I want to give her something.
The obvious answer screams at me from inside my head, but I shake the thought away, burying the guilt as I drag out another day without telling her what my job really is, who I am to everyone but her.
“Can I tell you something?”
She shifts back at my tone, giving me her full attention. “Of course.”
“I never knew my birth mom. I only know that she was young when she had me, and she struggled with addiction. She got clean while pregnant but relapsed when I was only a few days old. She left me with my grandma and never came back.” I run the tip of my finger down Rosie’s arm, an anchor to reality, my steady in this unstable moment.
“I don’t remember my grandma, but I know she loved me very much.
In every picture I have, we look so happy together.
She had a stroke when I was four. My only memory is this vivid one at her funeral, where this woman with dark curls and blue eyes stared at me from the doorway, and instead of coming in, she turned around and left. ”
Rosie threads her fingers through mine, softly running her thumb across the back of my hand in a gentle way that lets me know she’s here, she’s listening.
“The thing is, I’ve never been mad at her.
I don’t think she could give me the life or love every child deserves, and she knew that.
She thought there was somebody better out there for me, and in leaving, she gave that to me.
A chance at something better.” I wipe the single tear dripping from Rosie’s eye as she cups my cheek.
“When you told me about your parents earlier, how the thought of saying good-bye tears you apart, I wanted to take your hand and say you weren’t alone, because I’d also lost people.
But I haven’t felt a loss as deep as yours.
Mine is different. People chose to walk away because we weren’t meant for each other.
They weren’t meant for me, and there’s a certain peace in knowing that. ”
“That doesn’t make your loss any less valid,” Rosie says firmly. “Please don’t undermine anything you’ve gone through because of me.”
“I’m not. The truth is, I got so lucky, and I know it. There’s no pain in my past, not in my memories, at least. But when you talked to me…I almost wanted there to be. I didn’t want you to be alone in feeling yours.”
There’s a softness in Rosie’s gaze, an understanding that pulls us closer, a string knotting. “I don’t need you to take on my pain, Adam. I just need you to sit with me while I feel it. That’s enough for me.” She brushes a curl off my forehead. “Does that make sense?”
“I think so.”
“Thank you for sharing that with me.”
“Thank you
for sharing your world with me.”
Rosie tucks in closer, the soft inches of her pressed against me bringing me a comfort I didn’t know I needed as the remaining fragments of sunlight disappear behind the trees, stars beginning to burst against the dark skyline.
“You can’t see the stars with your face buried in there, pretty girl.”
She props her chin on my chest, grinning up at me. “I like this view best.”
I chuckle, running a thumb over the dimple in her chin. “You’re the cutest ever.”
Rosie flushes, averting her gaze. I nudge her chin, guiding her eyes back to mine.
“I think it’s adorable when you get shy. Your whole body heats, you start nibbling on your lip, and your freckles try to hide beneath those rosy cheeks.” The pad of my thumb drags across her lower lip. “You’re beautiful, Rosie, and I really like being here with you.”
“I really like being here with you too,” she breathes. “Are you gonna kiss me now?” Her eyes snap wide and she clamps her mouth shut. “Holy fork—I didn’t—no, that was supposed to be—I—”
I swallow her words with my mouth on hers, and, fuck
, it’s everything I could have ever hoped for.
It’s soft and gentle, the way she melts against me, the noises she makes in the back of her throat.
It’s everything sweet with a hint of a bite, the tang of grapefruit clinging to her lips, the frantic press of her fingertips on my shoulders, the shift of her curves against the hard lines of my body.
I sink my fingers into her hair, angling her head back.
Rosie sighs, her lips parting, letting me in.
Her tongue meets mine without hesitation as her hands coast over me, down my arms, my chest, clutching at my shirt as she pulls me closer, tosses her leg over my hip.
My hand glides along her thigh, over her ass, gripping her waist as I hold her tight and move against her, sure that I’ve finally found paradise.
Rosie is bright cerulean skies and the heat of the summer sun kissing your cheeks.
She’s toes in the sand and crystal clear water splashing at your feet.
Rainbows made of flowers and swirls of colors blending together at sunset like a flawless painting.
She’s escaping reality and living in pure bliss without the racing thoughts and the itch of too many bodies, too many eyes on you.
She’s my version of paradise.
I cup her face in my hand, sweeping a thumb across the apple of her cheekbone as I slow us down, taking one last moment to taste her, suck on her lower lip before I press my mouth to hers once, twice more.
Rosie’s erratic breath mingles with mine, color blooming in her cheeks. She presses two trembling fingers to her swollen lips. “Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“I…I meant to say that in my head. The kiss thing. And honestly, the wow
too.”
“I like when you think out loud.”
“A lot of my thoughts are about you,” she admits.
I blow out a breath of relief and pull her into my chest. “Thank fuck, because all of mine are about you.”
* * *
“What’s eating you?”
“Hmm?”
My eyes lift to my rearview mirror, catching sight of Connor in the back. He’s passed out with his stuffie, and he didn’t stir longer than a minute when I lifted him out of the playpen and tucked him into the car seat. Rosie, however, is a different story.
“You’ve been gnawing on your lip for the last fifteen minutes,” I tell her, stopping out front of her apartment. I tug her bottom lip free from her teeth. “What’s on your mind?”
“I don’t want to sound…I’m nervous that I’ll sound…I don’t want you to think…”
“Rosie.”
Her shoulders deflate and she flashes me a guilty grin under the light of the streetlamp. “I really like you, Adam.”
“I really like you too.”
“But…”
“Oh fuck. Not a but.”
She snickers, giving me a shove. “I really like you, but
I’m not looking for something casual. Honestly, I wasn’t looking at all.
But now you’re here and I don’t want to bring my son into something that doesn’t have potential to be long term, to be real and serious and good.
” She takes a breath, tucking her hair behind her ears.
“I know I’m only twenty-four, but I want to share a life with someone.
I want us to be special to someone. I want to build a family with someone, and I have no problem parting ways with someone who doesn’t want that too.
Because if Connor is the only family I get in this life…
he’s enough for me.” Dim eyes move over me, and I watch her fingers curl into her fists.
“I know some people don’t like to talk about commitment, and maybe it’s soon. But I—”
For the second time tonight, I swallow her words, every single one of them. Her truths and her insecurities, the ones that align so perfectly with mine.
“I want that, Rosie.” I rest my forehead against hers. “All of it and more.”
“I’m scared,” she whispers. “Nobody has ever fit into my life. I don’t want to know what it feels like to lose that.”
“I like being here. I have no plans of leaving.” I look to the little boy in the backseat, the soft sound of his deep breathing, back to the enchanting woman in front of me. “You’re a package deal, Rosie. That doesn’t scare me. I’ll tell you as often as I need to until you believe it.”
Cautious eyes move between mine. “Promise?”
I hold my pinky out, and she grins, tucking hers around mine, pulling our hands to her chest and my mouth to hers.
“Swear it.”