Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
Lauren
He’s hiding something. I can see the pain glinting in his eyes. No amount of Joker smiles or silly jokes will cover that up, but I can see from the look on his face he isn’t going to tell me what’s running through his mind right now. It stings.
I know Jax is a good man, but watching him sit here and pretend like nothing is wrong reminds me of the times Austin lied to me to be with other women.
It stirs up all the feelings of inadequacy I’ve been working to fight off over the last month.
He clearly doesn’t think I’m strong enough to handle whatever he’s got going on, and it scares the living crap out of me.
My surprise for Jax is still in my pocket.
I was so excited to give it to him. I poured my heart and soul into making the beaded keychain.
Similar to the charm bracelet he gave me sophomore year, it was supposed to be a symbol of strength to help him overcome his self-doubts, a reminder that I care for him, and a way of thanking him for showing me I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, both from those around me, and myself.
He’s given me the gift of unconditional love, and I wanted to return the favor, but now it feels stupid.
Jax stares at me expectantly, and I realize I haven’t answered him. “Okay,” I say, my voice coming out hoarse.
He watches me, waiting for me to say more, but I don’t. What else am I supposed to say?
“We should head back. Charlie will be wondering where I am.”
“Wait, I thought you had a surprise for me?”
I laugh a laugh that does nothing to hide my level of discomfort right now. “This is the surprise. I just wanted to give us some alone time to talk.”
He looks disappointed, but I can’t give him the keychain right now. I can’t make myself be vulnerable after he clearly lied to my face. I don’t know what happens next for us, but I know I need to get out of here right now.
Grinchie
How’s the puppy doing?
Me
She only had to get up once last night. Charlie gave her love this morning while I took care of some things. I think it’s safe to say she’s living her best life
And FYI we’re calling her Bella
So you’re keeping her?
NO! I just couldn’t stand the thought of calling her something lame and impersonal like puppy
Uh huh…
Grinchie
Merry Christmas Freckles!
How has your day been so far?
Me
Merry Christmas!
It’s been good! Mom made biscuits this morning and we’re going to spend most of the day in pjs playing games. Wbu?
It’s good but I miss you…
I miss you too
T-minus 22 hrs till I get to see you again. It can’t come soon enough
Charlie has been in a particularly nasty mood this morning, and I can’t seem to figure out why. We had a lovely Christmas Eve and Christmas Day as a family. I did cream him in poker, but we played for chocolates, so he can’t be that upset with me.
Tossing a duffle into the bed of his truck, Charlie grumbles, “Jax is supposed to be here any minute. Where’s your bag?”
“I already put it in the bed of your truck.” I point to my navy-blue duffel pressed into the back corner of the truck bed.
“What’s with you this morning? I thought you’d be excited about going on a hunting trip with your best friend and your favorite sister.
Not to mention your new favorite dog.” I scoop Bella up and bat my eyes angelically at Charlie.
“You’re my only sister.”
“Ouch.”
He sighs. “Sorry, I got a call from work this morning. They want me to come back early.”
“How early?” I set Bella down. She’s tied up to an extra-long leash so she can be out here with us.
“By the twenty-ninth.”
“What? No. They can’t do that! You’re supposed to come with us to the New Year’s Eve party at the Long Neck. Plus, I thought your office was closed through New Year’s Day.”
“The office is closed, but it doesn’t stop all those maniacs from working.” He surges into the house, and I follow him, helping him grab the pile of stuff he’s gathered by the door.
“I thought you had a bunch of time off saved up?”
“I do, mostly because I never get to take it.” He leads the way back to the truck and shoves Bella’s dog bed into the back seat. “We’re making a huge acquisition in the new year, and they need me around. Unfortunately, I’m good at what I do.”
“What does that mean for the rest of your time here? Do we have to cut the hunting trip short?”
“It means I’ll try not to be so bitter, but I need a day to wallow.
” He gives me a wincing smile as he climbs into his truck bed, shifting a few things around to make more room.
“As for our trip, we’ll stay two nights and come back early the next morning.
This way I can spend one more evening with Mom and Dad before I have to go. ”
My stomach sinks at the words. “I don’t want you to go.”
A tortured look flashes across his face, but he quickly replaces it with a smile. I hate seeing him put on a mask. That must be how Jax has felt, watching me insist I’m okay when he knew there was more going on underneath the surface. It sucks.
Charlie steps down and pulls me into a quick hug, mumbling something about how he’ll be back as soon as he can, but we both know that means nothing. This trip was an anomaly. I can’t expect Charlie to be home this long any time soon. Heck, I can’t expect Charlie to be home any time soon.
Jax’s truck rumbles into the driveway, and Charlie releases me, hustling inside the house and muttering something about one more thing to grab. I let him go, knowing he needs the distraction.
When Jax slams his door closed, he smiles at me like he just won the lottery. “Hey, Freckles.” He wraps me up in a hug before I can hesitate. “Two days without you is too long. Never let me do it again.”
I bite my lip, looking up at him in curiosity.
Two days ago, I was convinced he was hiding something from me because he didn’t think I was enough, but every text he’s sent me and the way he’s wrapping me up in his arms now is making me wonder how I could question the way Jax feels for me.
He obviously cares immensely. I must’ve let my mind get the best of me yet again.
Jax pulls away, opening his tailgate. “Did you get the job posting up online?”
“I did, and Rhett agreed to keep an eye on any applications that come through.” I pull Jax’s duffel down. “He won’t hire anyone without my approval, but he’ll let me know if someone comes along who would be worth interviewing.”
“That’s great!” He grabs his bow. “Are you ready to be away from the ranch for a few nights?”
“As ready as I can be. My little therapy dog helps too.” I drop Jax’s bag next to mine and gesture to Bella.
“It’s only been a few days, but she’s already forced me to be back at reasonable mealtimes, and I got the okay from the vet to take her on a very slow, very short walk.
I think she enjoyed it.” I turn back to the chocolate furball at my side. “It was fun. Wasn’t it, Bella?”
She nuzzles into my hand, blinking up at me with bright green eyes.
Jax shoves a couple things aside to make room for his bow before carefully noting, “It seems like she might be a good addition, maybe something that could become permanent?”
“We’ll see.” I grimace, trying not to get my hopes up that this could work. A few days over the holidays is hardly a good trial run with a dog. “Oh, by the way, our trip is only going to be two nights.”
“Why?”
“Long story. Charlie will probably fill you in, but needless to say, he’s not in a good mood.” I lean against the truck. “You’ll see soon, but he needs our support right now.”
As if on cue, Charlie barrels out of the house, his hands full. “Thanks for the help, guys.”
“See?” I whisper to Jax. “Char, you said you were going to get extra batteries. I didn’t realize that was code for everything you could possibly carry from the tool shed.”
“You can never be too prepared for a hunting trip. Right, Jax?”
“Right.” Jax quickly moves to help Charlie load his items into the truck.
The second Charlie’s arms are empty, he brushes his hands clean and announces, “The deer aren’t going to hunt themselves. Let’s go.”
“This should be fun,” Jax mutters.
I giggle as I help Bella into the back seat and then slide into the truck before Jax.
Once everyone is buckled, I turn to Charlie. “What are we going to do when we get there?”
“Unpack, obviously.” Charlie pulls out of the driveway onto Roots Road.
“Then I guess we can walk around the property a bit to look at tracks and see if we can get a sense of what their habits are. It’s a bit late in the season.
We’re already past the second rut, but that means the whitetails are usually building more predictable routines.
We don’t have as much time as I’d like, but we can try to take advantage of getting there early to see what we find.
We’ll head out with our bows before dusk. ”
I blink a few times. “What’s a rut?”
“It’s the deer’s breeding season and the best time to hunt for bucks because they’re more active and less cautious. They’re more focused on finding a lady than paying attention to their surroundings.”
I nod my head in understanding. “So are human males always in a rut?”
Charlie glares at me, and I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing. “What am I going to do while you two hunt?”
“You’re coming with us,” Jax says, matter of fact. “That’s why you’re here.”
“But I don’t know anything. Won’t I get in the way?”
“We’ll teach you.”
“I’m going to get killed with a bow and arrow this week, aren’t I?” I straighten. “That’s probably been your plan all along! Drag me out into the middle of the woods, where no one will find me, and make it look like I got in the way.”
“That wasn’t the plan before, but that’s kind of brilliant. Way better than our original plan, right?” Jax glances at Charlie.
“You can’t tell her that. Now she won’t want to go out with us. We’re going to need to come up with another way to eliminate her.”
Even though I don’t appreciate the fact that the two of them are talking about murdering me, the sight of Charlie’s smile brings a wave of relief over me.
“Shit. You’re right.” Jax crosses his arms. “Back to Plan A, I guess.”
“Or that’s still your plan and you’re trying to throw me off the scent!” I say, figuring I might as well play along.
That brings genuine laughter from the boys. “I promise we won’t let anything happen to you, Lo.” Charlie nudges me. “It’ll be cool to show you the ropes. You’re not bad with a bow and arrow. You could be a great hunter.”
“I’m good with leaving that for you to handle. Besides, someone needs to look after Bella, and I have books to read.”
“What’s the point of coming out to the deer stand with us if you’re just going to read?”
“You wouldn’t get it. There’s something about being in proximity to someone you care about while reading.”
“What about someone you’re just growing to tolerate?” Charlie nods his head in Jax’s direction as he merges onto the highway.
Jax and I exchange a knowing glance. I try to think of one of the insults Callie has given me for times like these, but I come up blank, so I wing it. “I think I more than tolerate you now, Char.”
Charlie’s smile is wiped clean off, as Jax covers his mouth, shouting, “Burn!”
“Lauren’s the one who got burned because by suggesting I’m the one she tolerates, she’s suggesting you’re the one she cares for.”
The truck goes silent. I don’t know how to defend myself from that truth, and there’s something searching in Charlie’s eyes as he glances my way that suggests maybe he already knows exactly what’s going on.