Chapter 36 Tyler
“Ilove her, okay?”
Jackson and Marcus look over at me as soon as I burst into our suite, confused expressions filling their faces.
“What?” Jackson questions me as he stands from the couch.
I drag my hand through my hair as I walk over to them, my heart racing what feels like a hundred miles a minute. It’s ready to run right out of my chest, but it’s time to actually be honest.
We’re actually about to lose Cassidy.
“I love Cassidy, and it scares the shit out of me,” I tell them, my eyes flashing back and forth between them. “Tell me that I’m not the only one.”
“You’re not,” Marcus replies as he gets to his feet. He breathes in and crosses his arms. “Honestly, I’ve been in love with her since I was a teenager.”
My eyes grow wide. “Seriously?”
Marcus nods. “I didn’t say anything because…well…”
“Because of Ryan,” Jackson finishes. “A problem as old as time.”
“Not so much of a problem now that he’s already found out,” Marcus mutters.
I step closer to Jackson, knowing he’s hiding behind that damn wall that has surrounded him for years. “And you? How do you feel about her?”
Jackson shakes his head, his eyes avoiding mine. “It doesn’t matter.”
I plant my hand on his shoulder, forcing his gaze on mine. “Yes, it does. You’re right. I shouldn’t have been so distant. I should’ve spoken up. I’m trying to now, but I need you to be honest too.”
Jackson’s face hardens for a few seconds before he sighs. “Of course, I love her. How can someone not love her?”
I drop my hand from his shoulder, hope flaring up in my chest. Maybe we can fix this before it’s too late.
“It took me too long to realize how I felt about her,” I admit. “You know me. I’m the guy who doesn’t commit. Who avoids relationships like the plague.”
“And I’m pretty much married to my work,” Jackson says.
“And what has that done for us?” I question him.
Jackson frowns. “Made us lonely, miserable bastards.”
Well, that’s one way to put it.
“I don’t want to be that person anymore,” I tell both of them. “I want to be with her. I want to raise the baby with her.”
“I think we all want to do that,” Marcus comments. “How do we even go about that? Is that possible?”
“I don’t know, but it’s down to her and what she’s comfortable with,” Jackson replies. “If she wants all of us, I’m fine with her having all of us.”
“I’m not going to be selfish,” I say. It’s not like these guys are strangers. They’re my brothers, and I’d only trust them and no one else to take care of Cassidy if she didn’t want to be with me. “I want her to be happy. No matter what that means.”
“Tyler, you were just freaking out about things. Did something change to bring this about?” Marcus asks me, his brows furrowing.
Right. I was just spurred into gear by terrible news.
“I ran into Cassidy outside,” I admit, resting my hands on my waist. “She’s…obviously not doing well. We talked for a little bit, and I tried to assure her that I want to be a father and be there for her and the baby, but it wasn’t enough. She’s flying home when she’s done at the reception.”
“What?” Jackson questions me.
Marcus’ arms drop, his eyes widening. “She’s leaving so soon? Why?”
“She doesn’t want to be here anymore. She thinks Ryan doesn’t want her here, and she probably feels overwhelmed by us,” I tell them. “I think she wants to distance herself.”
“Damn it,” Jackson murmurs. “And you think the three of us telling her that we love her is going to fix that?”
“I think all we’ve done is confuse her and ourselves because we won’t be honest about our feelings,” I bite out. “At least we’ll be able to say we tried. We did all we could do.”
Jackson stays quiet, staring at the ground.
“He’s right,” Marcus says. “We have to at least try. If we don’t, we’ll always wonder what could’ve happened if we did.”
The three of us will take all sorts of different kinds of risks outside of our love life. Fires. Business ventures. Uprooting our lives.
Now, we need to be brave enough to tell the woman we love how we feel.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so damn nervous.
“We’ll need to do this together,” I tell them.
Jackson’s eyes dart up to mine. “You’re in this time? No locking up?”
I nod. “No locking up.”
Marcus pats me on the back of my shoulder. “Good to have you back. You’re right. We have to do this together so that she knows we’re all in.”
I don’t want to let the guys down, and I especially don’t want to let Cassidy down. That means getting over all my fear and uncertainty and putting the ones I care about first.
That’s what a good father does. That’s what a good boyfriend does too.
Maybe I don’t have anyone to look up to, but I know the difference between a good parent and a bad one. One is there and one isn’t. One cares and one doesn’t.
“Okay,” Jackson finally answers with a firm nod. “We’ll tell her. We’ll…risk it all.”
“Just think of what we could possibly gain,” Marcus points out. “She might love us too. All of us.”
“Is that possible?” Jackson asks in a quieter voice.
“Why couldn’t it be? I wouldn’t have thought it was possible for the three of us to be in love with the same woman,” Marcus points out.
We might as well keep trying to defy the odds.
“There’s something else that we need to do,” I say.
Marcus and Jackson look over at me.
“She cares about what Ryan thinks. I think we all do too, so he needs to get on board,” I tell them.
Jackson scoffs. “I highly doubt he’ll get on board with his sister dating three of his friends.”
“It’s not just about dating. We’ll be starting a family together. This is serious. Not some fling,” I reply. “We need to prove to him that we love her. Really love her.”
“We’ll have to do the same to her. We need to prove ourselves,” Marcus adds.
“How?” Jackson asks. “We’ve tried being there for her. Helping her.”
“That’s different,” I reply. “I think we need to prove love. Not just care.”
Marcus nods in agreement. “We need to spill our hearts out.”
Jackson exhales slowly. “Great.”
“When do we talk to her? The wedding is tomorrow,” Marcus asks.
I tap my fingers against my arm, thinking of a possible open window. Tomorrow is going to be so packed with festivities that it’ll be hard to get her alone for even a few minutes. We’ll have to be strategic.
“She’s going to leave the first chance she gets during the reception. It’ll have to be before then,” I tell them. “But I don’t think we should do it before the wedding ceremony.”
“Yeah, I think we’ve derailed things enough already,” Jackson mutters.
“During the reception at some point then,” Marcus replies. “Or when she tries to leave. That’ll be our only shot.”
Jackson’s expression wavers with uncertainty.
We can’t predict what’s going to happen, but we have to jump on any opportunity that we can get our hands on.
Before they disappear entirely.
“We should figure out what we’re going to say,” I tell them. “We can’t lose her.”
The two of them nod, and for the first time in a while, I take a deep breath that actually satisfies my lungs. There’s no shaking the pressure weighing down on me, but at least there’s a chance for everything to turn out okay.
We just need to do this right.
And I can’t fucking panic again.