Chapter 19
Chapter
Nineteen
September 20 th
1:00 P.M.
His palms were sweaty as he got off the elevator on Gabriella’s floor.
Gabriella had always messed with his head but not like this.
Knowing she had feelings for him, although it had probably taken Cade longer to figure that out than it should have, meant he’d always felt a connection to her even if he hadn't done anything about his feelings for her.
But when he fired her and told her to leave, he severed that connection.
Now he felt off kilter.
Worse, he had a knot of anxiety in his gut that hadn't dissipated in the days since he’d last seen her.
As he strode down the hallway, he was at least pleased to see two men standing outside Gabriella’s suite. Dressed professionally, they both shifted their stance when they saw him approaching.
Good.
They were doing their jobs and protecting his girl.
Shame filled him, though, because he knew he should be the one protecting Gabriella. If nothing else, he owed it to her for everything she’d done for Essie. But more than that, he cared about her, was on the way to falling in love with her, and he should always be there to stand at her back, her front, or her side, depending on what she needed from him in any given situation.
“I'm Cade Charleston, I work for Prey Security, and I’m Gabriella’s former boss,” he said as he strode toward them. Aware that with a huge bouquet in his hand, he didn't look like he was there in any official capacity, and while he had a twinge in his chest at calling himself her former employer it was true.
If he could convince Gabriella to come back to him it wouldn't be to work for him.
It would be as his partner and Essie’s mother.
Recognition flared in their eyes.
“We were told this was connected to you and your family. Can we take it this is a social visit?” one asked.
“Yes. I would have brought my daughter, Gabriella was her nanny, but I didn't want to overwhelm her. Essie picked out the flowers herself.” After they visited the cemetery, they stopped by the florist, then he’d dropped Essie off with his brothers. It wasn't really that he thought Essie would overwhelm Gabriella, in fact, he had no doubt she’d happily see his daughter rather than him. But he wanted to prove to her that he wanted her in his life for him not just for Essie.
“She didn't tell us she was expecting a visitor,” one said as though there was any question he was getting into that room.
“I don’t want to cause trouble, but I'm not leaving without seeing her,” he informed them.
“Orders were not to let anyone in,” the other spoke up.
“Again, I'm not leaving until Gabriella tells me that she doesn’t want to see me,” he said, attempting to keep his voice down but sure he was failing.
“I suppose since you know her it will be okay,” the first finally agreed.
“Thank you.” While he wouldn't have taken no for an answer, he was pleased he didn't have to call Eagle, beg for help, and have his boss reach out to the owner of the firm Gabriella had hired to have him cleared.
Anxiety pulsed through his system as one of the bodyguards used his room key to open the door to Gabriella’s suite. For a second, he was afraid she would have put the chain on to deny them entrance because he had zero doubts she wouldn’t have removed it to speak with him, that fear passed when the door swung open.
Something felt off when he stepped into the suite and closed the door behind him.
The room was too quiet.
Too still.
Maybe Gabriella was taking a nap? Or relaxing in a bubble bath? He knew she loved bubble baths and had spent more hours than he’d care to admit with a hard-on while he knew she was naked and luxuriating in the soapy water.
Now it wasn't pleasure he couldn’t do anything about chasing that crashed through him, it was fear.
His gut said something was wrong.
The suite had a small living area where he stood, and there were no signs that Gabriella had been in it recently. There was a door on the opposite side of the room that he was sure led to the bedroom, and he hesitated barely a moment before heading to it.
“Gabriella?” he called out as he reached it, his hand hovering on the door handle. As much as he wanted to go barging in and bulldoze his way back into her life, he had to be respectful.
He was responsible for the distance between them.
He’d broken her trust.
He’d pushed her away.
It had to be up to her to decide if she could forgive and give him a chance. Not that he was giving up easily, but the least he owed her was respect.
“It’s Cade,” he called out again when there was no answer. “I came to check on you and see if maybe we could talk, and I could explain. I'm sorry, Gabriella. You deserved better than I gave you. I made a mistake and want to try to make it up to you.”
There was no response to his words and his uneasiness grew.
Actually, it was already well past uneasiness and on its way to becoming full-blown terror.
“Gabriella, unless you tell me not to, I’m coming in,” he warned. His gut told him something was wrong, and he wasn't hanging around in the living room if she needed him.
When once again there was no answer, he carefully eased the door open on the slim chance that she was just asleep and hadn't heard him or was in the bathroom.
As soon as he stepped into the bedroom his heart stopped beating.
She was there.
Lying on the floor.
So very still that for one horrifying moment, he wondered if he’d left coming to her too late.
The kind of too late that no number of apologies and hard work could fix.
Cade didn't remember dumping the flowers on the bed and rushing to her side. The next thing he knew, he was on his knees beside Gabriella’s too-still body.
Gently brushing back her tangle of red curls, he noticed the flushed color of her face and the beads of sweat that dotted her brow. Her skin was warm to the touch as he pressed his fingertips to her neck, and when he felt it, her pulse was beating much too fast.
She was sick.
Why the hell hadn't she told anyone?
And why did the thought of the answer to that question leave his heart pounding painfully in his chest?
“Gabriella, I'm here, baby,” he crooned softly as he carefully eased her over onto her back. As soon as he did, he gasped in shock as he saw her chest. Right over her left breast was a bite mark. The wound was clearly infected, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that she’d gotten it while she was being held captive.
One of those monsters had bitten her.
On the breast.
And as far as he was aware she hadn't told anyone about it. She certainly hadn't told him, and when he’d asked about her condition and injuries his brothers hadn't mentioned it either.
She’d been hiding her pain and suffering because she was so focused on his daughter.
How had he ever let this woman go?
What the hell was wrong with him?
Shoving away his anger at himself because it wasn't what Gabriella needed right now, he smoothed a lock of hair off her sweat-dampened forehead. “Hold on, sweetheart, I’ll get you help, you just fight for me. Don’t give up, baby. Please.”
The last was a tortured whisper as he yanked his cell phone from his back pocket and dialed 911. After asking for an ambulance to be sent to the hotel, he hung up, and focused his attention on his girl, lying so sick before him that he wanted to vomit.
This was his fault.
He knew that it was.
She hadn't asked for help or told anyone she was sick on purpose because … he hated to consider the idea, but he couldn’t not, considering how he’d found her and that she knew there were two men right outside who would organize a doctor if she’d just asked. Or she could have reached out to his family, they were all firmly team Gabriella.
But she hadn't done that.
Because she didn't want to.
She had made the conscious decision to lie there and allow the infection in the bite wound to slowly seep inside her body.
The only conclusion he could draw from that was that Gabriella didn't want to live anymore.
Leaving her side for even a second felt wrong, but he had to work on getting her temperature down while he waited for the EMTs to arrive. Running into the bathroom he turned on the bath, put in the plug, and then ran back to the bedroom. Scooping Gabriella’s limp body into his arms, he carried her to the bath, toed off his shoes, and then stepped into the bath fully clothed.
As he sat, he settled Gabriella so her naked body was between his spread knees and rested her so she lay against his chest. Then he reached for a washcloth, dunked it in the cool water, and began to blot at her face.
After that, all he could do was beg.
Beg her not to give up.
Beg her to keep fighting.
Beg her to understand he’d been trying to protect her.
Beg her not to leave him like Gretel had.
Then, as he continued to smooth the wet cloth on her too-hot face, he did what he knew she would do for Essie if his daughter was sick and started to sing.
September 22 nd
8:47 A.M.
Pain still pulsed through her body, but for the first time in weeks, it felt like maybe there was light at the end of the tunnel.
Gabriella knew she’d messed up.
She should never have allowed herself to get so sick that she just gave up.
As badly as she felt and as uncertain about her future as she was, she didn't really want to be dead.
All she wanted was to not be alone anymore.
Was that really too much to ask?
Everyone else seemed to have someone and she was so sick of always being left out in the cold.
Which only made her feel guilty because she knew she had lots of blessings, and she didn't like to wallow in self-pity when she had a lot more than so many others had. She just didn't want to face life alone anymore.
Sounds outside her hospital room had her turning her head on the pillow to look at the door. It had been almost forty-eight hours since she passed out and had been found unconscious on her hotel room floor. Those first hours were a complete blank. She didn't remember the ambulance ride to the hospital, didn't remember being examined in the ER. It wasn't until several hours later she woke up to find she was no longer in her hotel suite.
As well as the infection ravaging her body, she’d been severely dehydrated, and the fact that she hadn't been eating or sleeping had her so weak her body just couldn’t compensate any longer.
With heavy-duty antibiotics being delivered via IV as well as fluids, she was slowly improving but still found the tiniest of movements a tremendous effort.
There had been a steady stream of visitors in and out of her room.
Apparently, Cade had found her and called in reinforcements. Other than when a doctor examined her, one of the Charleston Holloway brothers was with her.
It was odd, but not unpleasant.
And she didn't have the energy to figure out why Cade had been in her suite.
What possible reason could he have to come to the hotel to see her?
“I’ll go check it out,” Jake told her as he crossed the room and disappeared through the door.
A moment later, she heard the distinct excited squeal that could only come from Essie.
Her heart squeezed painfully. As badly as she wanted to see the little girl, there was no way that Essie was there without her dad, and she just wasn't ready to face Cade. A conversation was going to have to happen at some point because she needed to know why he’d gone to the hotel, but she wasn't up to it yet.
When Jake returned a minute or two later, he had a fierce expression that she recognized as his protective look. Jake could be similar to Cade. Both were gruff, could be intimidating, and didn't bother to mince their words. But both were also compassionate and loyal. They loved their family with everything they had, and right now, she knew that she was the focus of every one of Jake’s protective instincts.
Even though she knew this wasn't the best thing for her long term to have Cade’s family hovering around her. It was too easy to slip back into old ways of thinking and go back to considering them hers.
But they weren't hers.
Not really.
She didn't get to keep them.
So, it was better to maintain the clean break she’d initiated, but somehow, she couldn’t seem to make herself do it. She was so weak, making her even more vulnerable, and she was lapping up their attention and care like she was starving. And she was, she wasn't denying it. A lifetime of having to be self-sufficient to survive meant she couldn’t be anything but.
“It’s Essie and Cade,” Jake announced, somewhat unnecessarily as he crossed to the bed and curled his fingers around the guardrail.
“I figured, heard her voice and knew she wouldn't be here alone,” she said. Since she hadn't had cause to speak out loud much when she was in her hotel suite it had been a shock to hear how weak she sounded.
Gabriella was pretty sure that the only thing holding back the Charleston Holloway brothers from reading her the riot act for shutting them out and not asking for help when she obviously needed it was the fact that she was so very weak. The last several weeks had taken a toll on her body and her mind, not just the abduction but her refusal to acknowledge what had happened to her, and her inability to take care of herself.
“They want to see you,” Jake said.
“Today’s the twenty-second, right?” She was pretty sure it was, but everything was a little hazy and she couldn’t be sure.
“It is.”
“So, it’s Essie’s birthday.” Gabriella chewed on her bottom lip. There was no way she could say no to seeing her favorite person in the world on their fifth birthday, but she didn't want to see Cade.
Which meant she couldn’t see Essie.
Because there was no way Cade would allow his daughter out of his sight.
“You don’t have to see them, Gabs.” Jake reached out and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’ve been through hell and deserve this time to rest and heal. I can tell them to go away.”
“I want to see Essie, it’s just …” she trailed off not wanting to say it out loud even if it was true. After all, Cade was Jake’s stepbrother, they were family, and she wasn't anything to any of them anymore.
“I’ll tell him he can't come in here then,” Jake said immediately.
“He won't let Essie come then.”
“Oh, honey, he absolutely will. Essie has been begging to see you every single day since you left. There is no way Cade is going to deny his daughter anything, especially not today.”
Before she could disagree, he headed back toward the door.
Since they were talking in hushed voices in the corridor, she couldn’t hear what they were saying, and her entire body was tense as she waited. She so badly wanted to see Essie again, she’d missed that little girl something fierce. Nothing would help her heal faster than being around that precious child.
“Gabby!” Essie’s squeal of delight had her breaking into the first smile she’d had in days and something inside her settled.
It didn't matter that she knew this wasn't going to last, that it would only make things worse when she had to say goodbye, she was going to soak up every second she got to spend with the little girl.
“Hey, cuddle bug,” she said as the tiny tornado of energy scrambled up onto the bed, bypassing the guardrails by climbing up from the end of the bed. “Happy birthday, baby girl.”
“I'm not a baby no more, Gabby. I'm five,” Essie said excitedly, holding up her hand with all four fingers and her thumb sticking out straight.
“You're such a big girl.”
Climbing over her legs, Essie snuggled against her, wrapping her little arms around Gabriella’s neck and planting a kiss on her cheek. “I missed you so much, Gabby. I didn't want you to go.”
“I didn't want to go either, cuddle bug.” While she wouldn't talk badly about Cade in front of his daughter, she also didn't ever want Essie to think that she didn't love her. The last thing she would ever wish was for Essie to feel for one second that she wasn't wanted and adored.
“But you're coming back,” Essie said so firmly that Gabriella didn't have the heart to break it to the child that this could be the last time they ever saw one another.
“Party time,” Cole called out as he burst into the room with a handful of brightly colored balloons.
He wasn't alone.
Behind him came Susanna, Connor and Becca, Cooper and Willow, Jake and Jax. They all carried either more balloons or presents wrapped in cute unicorn wrapping paper, the exact paper she’d picked out a couple of months ago when she started preparing for Essie’s birthday. Willow was even carrying one of the cakes in Essie’s top three from the list she’d compiled.
It looked like they were planning to do Essie’s birthday right there in her hospital room.
Why?
Cade wasn't even there. He hadn't come in with the others, apparently respecting her wishes that she didn't want to see him. Yet he’d allowed Essie to come in. More than that, he had to have been the one to gather together all the party paraphernalia and bring it to the hospital.
What did that mean?
And did she even want it to mean anything at all?