July
Subject: Happy Birthday!!
Happy Birthday!!!
Older? Definitely. Wiser? Probably not. Distinguished?
Actually, you probably are, though it pains me to admit it. How do you men pull that off? There’s a reason silver foxes are getting all the screen time these days. It’s because you men age like fine wine.
And I’m going to move swiftly on before I complain about how ridiculously unfair that is.
I have done something that is either very inappropriate and could land me with a restraining order, or something completely brilliant that you’ll be talking about for years to come.
The reality is probably somewhere in the middle. I’m extremely nervous, but what’s done is done. No taking it back now. So, enjoy.
And I’m not going to explain. You’ll have to wait and see.
Happy birthday!!!
6 Jul | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Happy Birthday!!
You’re insane.
6 Jul | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: Happy Birthday!!
Not up for debate.
But did you like it?
6 Jul | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: Happy Birthday!!
Brian?
6 Jul | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: Happy Birthday!!
Hey, if I overstepped, I’m sorry.
Please just let me know.
10 Jul | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Happy Birthday!!
Okay, first, everything is okay. I’m gonna send this now so you can stop worrying, but I have another email heading your way.
10 Jul | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Happy Birthday!!
I stand by what I said. You are insane.
I should have clarified before disappearing for a few days that insanity isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
You are the hero of our office. All my employees are potentially in love with you, and I had three separate people ask if you were single.
Even if you were, I’d tell them no. You deserve better than Vinny, Alec and Matt.
Anyway.
Thank you for my present. As unorthodox as it was, we got a good chuckle out of it. My date-survival kit is sitting on my desk, ready to be pulled out at a moment’s notice should I need a packet of mints.
However, it might not be needed thanks to the second part of your gift, and the reason you are such a legend in the SideQuest offices.
I don’t know what on earth possessed you to send a kiss-o-gram to my office, but it… she was the best thing you could have sent me.
More so than the cigars and whiskey, although they were also a very nice touch.
It turns out, when she’s not lecturing me on dating etiquette (thank you for that), Rebecca is an extremely witty woman who decided to take a chance on an old schmuck like me.
We’ve been on a weekend getaway together. And what’s more, she didn’t take her phone out once!
So, to you, my guardian angel, thank you.
Thank you for your funny gifts, your expensive gifts, and for Rebecca.
Your extremely happy, not a silver fox yet, friend.
10 Jul | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: Happy Birthday!!
Aw, Brian. I’m so happy for you.
14 Jul | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: Checking in
My inbox has been suspiciously quiet. I haven’t heard from you for a while. I’m sure you’re having fun with Rebecca, but don’t forget to say hi now and again.
You have received an instant message from:
JESY
Jesy: Hey.
Jesy: Haven’t seen you for a while.
brIAN has left the conversation
Jesy: And apparently, I’m not going to see you for a while.
21 Jul | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Sorry
We keep missing each other, I’m sorry. Going out with Rebecca tonight, but I’ll send a long email in the morning, I promise.
26 Jul | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Sorry!
I’ll just assume that the online postman lost your promise on the way to delivering it, shall I?
You have received an instant message from:
brIAN
Brian: Are you mad at me?
Brian: I guess that silence means you’re mad at me.
Brian: Jesy, come on.
JESY has left the conversation.
Brian
I curse under my breath as the green dot beside Jesy’s name goes red and her name greys out.
Jesy Pattinson is offline.
Yeah, no fucking shit. Though at least she didn’t block me, I suppose.
I slam my laptop lid shut and run my hand through my hair.
Admittedly, I’ve been a terrible friend.
And I do consider Jesy my friend at this point. Maybe we didn’t meet in the most conventional way, but when you start buying birthday gifts for one another, you’re no longer just ‘correspondents’.
Surely, she understands, though. She’s married. Partner comes above friend in the computer. Even if said friend is the reason you have said partner.
I glance down at my phone as it begins vibrating, smiling as I see Rebecca’s name flash across the screen.
Ah, I really do like her.
She’s sweet and funny, and for some reason, she finds my job fascinating.
“Hey, Bex,” I say, answering the phone.
“Hi, honey, how are you tonight?” I don’t particularly want to burden her with my drama, but I hear the words leaving my lips before I can stop them.
“I’m okay. Feeling like a shmuck.”
“Oh no! What’s happened?”
I love how immediately she’s concerned. Another fantastic quality she has.
“I’ve had a bit of a falling out with my friend, Jesy.”
“She’s the woman who hired me, right?”
“She is.”
There’s a short silence that I don’t expect, and my shoulders tense without quite meaning to.
“Why have you fallen out?”
“Well, in fairness, I’m not sure if we have. We keep missing each other. I guess I’ve been busy and—”
“Well, you’ve been with me.”
“I know that,” I say. “I just think that—”
“If she can’t handle you having a girlfriend, maybe she’s not your friend.”
Girlfriend?
“I didn’t say—”
“And anyway, didn’t you say she was just someone you met online? That’s not a real friend anyway.”
Well. I don’t like that.
“I wouldn’t say that,” I protest. “We talk pretty much every day. What would you call it if not friendship?”
“Boredom,” she says simply, and I can hear the sigh in her tone. “Boredom and loneliness, and a frustrated housewife looking for something to break up the monotony.”
I’m stunned into silence.
Granted, I haven’t known her long, but I’ve never heard Rebecca speak like this. I told her all about Jesy the night we met. I’ve made sure to be honest and transparent, and she’s always been understanding and encouraging.
Where has this vicious streak come from?
“Do you have a problem with my friendship with Jesy?” I ask, my spine joining my shoulders in uncomfortable stiffness.
“You just said she’s not your friend.”
“No. You said that.” I take a slow breath. “Answer the question, please?”
“I don’t have a problem with her,” Rebecca sniffs. “I just don’t see why you need to talk to her. You’ve got friends in real life. You’ve got me.”
What. The. Fuck?
I pull the phone away from my ear, double checking that I am indeed talking to Rebecca. The complete change in stance has thrown me completely.
Was her understanding all a lie? Was she just waiting to show her true colours? One thing is for certain. She is absolutely not okay with Jesy being my friend.
God.
What if we hadn’t fallen out? How long would it have taken for Rebecca to make her true feelings known? We could have been together months. Years!
All that time wasted, waiting for the ticking time bomb to blow.
They say when something seems too good to be true, it usually is.
“Anyway, about me coming over tonight,” Rebecca says, oblivious to my confusion.
“Not tonight,” I say, clearing my throat. “I’m not in the mood for company.”
Silence.
“But we had plans.”
“And now we don’t.”
More silence.
“Urgh, fine. Whatever. I’ll call you later.”
“Call me tomorrow,” I say firmly.
Tension crackles between us even through the phone, and the weight of it is unbearable. Just when I think she’s not going to answer, her voice fills my ears as though she’s speaking through clenched teeth.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
The line goes dead, and I sink into my chair, banging my head against the desk. Idiot, idiot, idiot.
I don’t know what I’m more upset about.
The fact I let my friendship ruin my relationship or my relationship ruin my friendship.
My phone pings, and I glance down at the screen expecting an angry text from Rebecca. Instead, my heart sinks as I read the notification.
Dear Brian, the Tech Guy.
Yeah. I probably deserve that.
30 Jul | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: Dear Brian, the Tech Guy
You’ll notice I am avoiding any familiarity because that would suggest we are more than acquaintances, which your current behaviour suggests we’re not.
I understand the allure of a new relationship. You get all those funny feelings in your downstairs region, and focus goes out of the window. Everything is exciting, the world feels like a better place, and the birds sing like they’re in a fucking Disney movie.
Which is great.
For you.
For the people you leave behind, however, it sucks. Have you neglected everyone else in your life the way you have me, or am I just disposable?
Either way, it’s shitty behaviour.
I know I’m a relatively new friend, Brian, and we still don’t know a whole bunch about each other, but I’ll give you some Jesy 101.
I don’t make promises I can’t keep, and I don’t like to be ignored.
That’s it. No fancy embellishments. No nuances that can be misinterpreted.
Don’t promise me something if you’re not going to follow through. Don’t ignore me for an entire month and then ask me if I’m mad at you.
Of course I’m fucking mad at you.
I thought that we were building a real friendship. Yes, through a screen, but no less important than the other friendships in my life. No less real.
I’ve sent you gifts, shared my life, listened to and given advice. We’ve spoken for hours at a time, across multiple days. We’ve laughed together, complained together and had fun.
Or at least I have.