December #4
“Being isolated from my friend wouldn’t have positively affected me, Rachel. Come on!”
She looks down at her lap, refusing to meet my gaze. We could go back and forth giving each other explanations neither of us really want to hear. But, really, it all comes down to one question.
“Rach? Do you want to be with me?”
This time she looks up. Her eyes search mine; her hands twist in knots. For a long time, she doesn’t say anything and I’m almost afraid she’s going to turn me down.
Instead, she nods.
I reach for her hand, holding it in mine. “Good. Because I want to be with you. But we can’t be together if we can’t trust each other. So, do you trust me?”
Another long agonising pause and then a nod.
“No more messaging Jesy behind my back,” I say. “If something is making you uncomfortable, tell me. And you owe her an apology.”
“I’ll apologise if you explain why you chose that present for her.”
I scoff out a laugh. “That’s what this is about?”
“You gave her The Book of Love, Brian, what am I supposed to think?”
“It reminds her of her grandparents,” I say with a sigh. “They danced to it on their wedding anniversary when she was a little girl. She’s loved the song ever since.”
“Oh. So, it wasn’t a big declaration of love then?”
“No. It wasn’t a big declaration of love, Rach. It’s just a song.”
That Jesy thinks is the most romantic song in existence.
Yeah, well.
Rachel doesn’t need to know that part. But I’m not an idiot. There’s only one way Jesy will take this message.
And if she doesn’t, the letter I sent with it is pretty damning.
Open on Christmas Day
(No peeking!)
Jesy,
I have no doubt you have multiple copies of this song. I know how important it is to you. What you don’t have, is a copy gifted to you by me.
You once told me this is the most romantic song in the world, and you’re right.
Who else would I gift it to, other than the woman I see in my mind when I listen to it?
Merry Christmas, beautiful.
Love, Brian
25 Dec | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: You clever sausage
How the fuck did you pull that off?
25 Dec | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: You clever sausage
Pull what off?
25 Dec | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: You clever sausage
Don’t play coy.
How did you manage to get a chorus of people outside
my house on Christmas Day to sing me my favourite song?
25 Dec | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: You clever sausage
There’s a lot of people on the internet who don’t give a shit about Christmas Day. I paid them some money to come sing to you since Rachel ruined your present.
25 Dec | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: You clever sausage
She didn’t ruin it.
The main present was the letter.
25 Dec | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: You clever sausage
Liked that, did you?
25 Dec | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: You clever sausage
You know I did. Quite like you, too.
25 Dec | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: You clever sausage
Fantastic.
Now explain your present to me.
You have received an instant message from:
JESY
Jesy: I didn’t think it needed explaining.
Brian: It’s a weird shape with a J on it, hanging by a keychain.
Jesy sent an attachment map.jpeg
Jesy: Make sense now?
Brian: Hang on.
Brian: Oh! When you put them together it’s the UK?
Jesy: There you go. The J is where I am in Scotland. The B on my keychain is where you are in England.
Jesy: Honestly, I thought you’d figure it out from the engraving.
Brian: ‘Distance means so little, when you mean so much.’
Brian: I love it, Jesy.
Brian: And… well. You know.
Jesy: Merry Christmas, Brian.
Brian: Merry Christmas, Jesy.
1 NEW SMS
Sorry I didn’t get you a gift but there’s no need to storm off. We’re supposed to be having lunch in an hour! - Jerry
1 NEW SMS
Fuck off, Jerry. - Jesy
You have received an instant message from:
FELICITY
Felicity: Fuck Christmas.
Isla: Was someone on the naughty list?
Felicity: Naughty list? No. No, this is worse than a naughty list. This is a must have been a murderer in her last life list.
Jesy: Hey, I think I’m on that list too.
Isla: I assume Santa wasn’t very kind to you.
Felicity: Santa can run up my hole.
Isla: Careful, he only comes once a year, that’s a lot of backlog filling up your hole.
Jesy: Ha.
Jesy: What’s going on, Fi?
Felicity: Remember last year when the two of you came to the school after the fire, and I said how wonderful it was that William was still coming to spend Christmas with us?
Jesy: Aye…
Felicity: Well. He did the same this year.
Felicity: And he brought a friend.
Isla: Uh-oh.
Jesy: Please say this was an old pal from high school he lost touch with.
Felicity: Unless this old pal is at least ten years younger than him and still has perky tits that don’t sag to her knees…
Isla: Oh, Fi.
Jesy: I’m so sorry.
Felicity: He didn’t even give me a heads up. He just waltzed in with her like it was the most normal thing in the world. Our divorce isn’t even finalised and he’s bringing a new woman around our kids. On Christmas Day. To our family meal.
Penny: Fuck. Him.
Penny: What did you do?
Felicity: What could I do?
Felicity: I couldn’t kick off and ruin the bairn’s day, so I plastered a fucking smile on my face, pretended I am a lot more mature than I am (to give my kids a good example, of course) and secretly plotted all the ways I could poison her meal.
Jesy: I can’t believe he did that.
Jesy: That’s some fucked up power trip getting his ex-wife to serve his new girlfriend a meal.
Jesy: Actually. Makes Jerry’s gift seem less insulting.
Isla: What did he get you?
Jesy: Nothing.
Penny: Pardon?
Jesy: Oh, let’s not act surprised. He’s currently blowing up my phone demanding I get back to the house and make their xmas lunch.
Felicity: Where are you?
Jesy: In a pub having my lunch.
Penny: On your own?
Jesy: Hey, don’t worry. I am actually more than okay. This is nice. It’s peaceful. The mood is merry; people are having fun. I would definitely much rather be there than in a house where people only want me there to bark orders at.
Isla: Good for you, hen.
Isla: What did Brian get you?
Jesy: Ah, just a vinyl record.
Penny: Well, I am still single, so I bought myself a tub of Celebrations and my ma got me a pair of socks.
Isla: Can’t go wrong with a pair of socks.
Penny: No.
Penny: No, I suppose not.
Felicity: Fuck Christmas.
Jesy: Fuck Christmas.
Penny: Fuck. Christmas.
Isla: I still like Christmas. But as a show of solidarity…
Isla: Fuck Christmas.
Jesy: Atta girl.
26 Dec | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: Santa
Was Santa good to you this year?
26 Dec | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Santa
Santa is lucky I didn’t poison his mince pie.
What about you?
26 Dec | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Santa
I spent Christmas with my parents. And I don’t think they’ve quite grasped that I am a grown man, so I have been unreasonably spoiled.
Rachel got me a pair of cufflinks which was nice.
So, yeah. Santa was good to me.
26 Dec | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Santa
Show off.
Anyway, it’s Boxing Day. Christmas is over. And I am looking to the future.
26 Dec | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Santa
I sense a New Year’s resolution incoming.
26 Dec | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: New year, new me
I’m going to make this my year, Brian.
I am going to be more patient. More gracious. I am going to be braver and do things that scare me. I am going to grab the bull by the horns and make 2020 my bitch.
Sounds good, right?
Let’s fucking do this!
31 Dec | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: New year, new me
Never mind. Whoever came up with this bullshit was clearly high.