4. Chapter Four #2
My eyes land on Sienna, who looks like a ghost. Then I see Gabriel and Aurora, looking like a power couple. Gabriel caused all of this. He signed my life away.
I stumble again.
“Maybe you’re not as good of a dancer,” Matteo comments. “You keep stepping on my toes.”
“I’m sorry” I whisper. My head is really lightheaded. Woozy. “Is it warm in here? I feel warm.”
Matteo spins me around the dance floor faster and faster. I think I might pass out. I can’t stand any of this. None of this is what I wanted. I wanted love. I wanted to choose my life. I wanted the fairytale I was promised.
“I’m sorry,” I say, pulling myself out of Matteo’s arms but the action of doing so makes me lose my balance and I fall backwards, right onto the floor. My head hits the ground and the next thing I see is darkness.
“Luciana, wake up,” a deep voice says to me, calling out from the darkness. Blinking my eyes open, I see Matteo hovering over me. My father is on the other side of me.
It’s then that I remember: my wedding day. The reception hall filled with people, all looking at me. Some with concern. Others with judgement.
Matteo helps me sit up and touches the back of my head. “You’re not bleeding but you could have a concussion. You hit your head when you fell.”
“Why did you fall?” my father asks. “Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?”
Before I can answer, Matteo speaks. “I did nothing to her. We were just dancing. You saw it. Be careful with your accusations, Rocco.”
My father ignores him, keeping his eyes on me. “Luciana, are you ok?”
“I’m fine,” I lie, getting to my feet. “I’m fine. You don’t need to make a fuss around me. I just… fell. But I’m fine.”
“It looked like you passed out,” Matteo comments. “I’m not sure you’re fine.”
“I’m fine,” I snap. Taking a deep breath, I repeat, “I’m fine. I swear. I just felt lightheaded but I’m fine now.”
“Lightheaded?” Father frowns. “Why? Maybe you should lie down. We should end the reception right now.”
I glance at Alexandra, who looks like she’s won a trophy at my expense. She’s loving that I’m struggling. A lot of the mafia women here all look the same. They want me to fail.
But I cannot fail.
Not when there’s so much on the line.
“I am fine,” I repeat. “Let us eat.” I hurry towards the main table and sit down. After a moment, Matteo joins me. The servers come out with food, which helps distract people from what just happened. My embarrassment.
“Why did you pass out?” Matteo murmurs to me, making me jump.
“I felt overwhelmed. It happened but I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”
He huffs and doesn’t press the issue. If I have to admit that I’m terrified and that’s the reason I passed out, I’ll never be able to live it down. I’ve always been known for my composure. I can’t ruin that now.
I try to take bites of my steak but the food just won’t go down. This wedding is not going how I wanted it to go. Nothing is.
“I know you think I’m the villain,” Matteo says into my ear, “but I am not. I don’t want you to pass out again. I don’t want you to get hurt, Luciana. You are my wife now. I want you to be safe.”
There’s a sincerity in his voice that startles me. I look into his eyes, trying to see if he’s telling the truth. It seems like he is.
“Thank you,” I say with more honesty.
“Good. That’s settled. You are a high strung woman, aren’t you? I can tell.”
“I am not high strung.”
“You passed out just now. You were having a panic attack. I could tell. I’ve been around enough terrified men to know what a panic attack looks like. Are you scared of me, Luciana? You don’t have to be.”
“I am fine,” I lie through gritted teeth.
“Fine. Keep telling yourself that. But you will break one of these days. And I don’t want you making me look like a fool in the process.”
“It was not my intention to make you look like a fool.” God. Why is he always so clinical? So cold?
“I saw you scream and throw your stuffed animals to the floor the first day I met you. I know what holding in anger looks like. You’re going to break eventually, Luciana. Either let it out in an appropriate place or don’t let it out at all. But our wedding is not the appropriate place.”
“I don’t need you lecturing me. I didn’t mean to pass out. It’s just as embarrassing for me as it is for you. Trust me on that.”
Alexandra approaches our table before Matteo can respond.
“Oh, Luciana. I wanted to make sure you were all right. You took a hard fall. That must be so embarrassing on your wedding day. How sorry I feel for you.” She lets out a laugh that makes me clench my hands into fists.
Fortunately, they’re under the table so no one else can see.
“You don’t need to be sorry for me, Alexandra. I am married now. Unlike you.”
Her lips contort into fury before a fake smile crosses her face. “Well, I hope you have fun tonight, dear. It is your wedding night after all. Every mafia woman has to go through with it. I’ll be praying for you.” She pats my arm before walking away.
“That woman is insufferable,” Matteo grumbles.
For once, I feel an actual smile on my face. “She really is.” But then I think about her words. How threatening they were. Is Matteo going to hurt me on our wedding night? I’ll know in a few hours.
Matteo speaks to other guests while I force a smile on my face. The entire evening takes forever to pass by and then it’s time.
Matteo stands up, drawing all the attention to him. “It is time for me and my wife to retire for the evening. But all of you, please continue to enjoy the festivities.” He holds his hand out to me. “Shall we?”
After a long moment, I place my hand in his and feel him wrap his large fingers around mine.
This is the moment that I know I’ll never be the same again.