Chapter 2
TWO
CAL
My phone beeps, startling me awake. I try to roll over before I realize that I’m being pinned to the bed by the pig lying on top of the covers.
Why the fuck am I spooning a pig?
And as I reach for my phone, the pig seems to get irritated with me moving around and disrupting his sleep and kicks me right in the balls.
I bite back the curse I was about to mutter, afraid I’ll wake Antonio up. Instead, I reach over and finally manage to grab my phone. I pick it up, but the moment I see Grayson’s name, I think about tossing it. Fuck him and fuck him even harder for waking me up.
But why would Grayson send me a text at four AM?
I roll back over and try to open the text, but the phone has forsaken me in the darkness of the room. Then it insists I’m a traitor and needs me to input the passcode, which I fail two times in my delirious state before I finally manage to get in.
Once in, I read the text, really hoping it’s worth all of this hassle.
I need you to get Traveler. Please watch him for me.
I hesitate as the sleepiness in my mind drifts away and I’m left staring at the phone, extremely confused.
Why would he text that to me at four in the morning? And if he just needed me to watch the dog, wouldn’t he have texted me in the morning? It’s a strange time to be reaching out to me about this. Or has he been gone so long that he needs someone there for Traveler before it’s too late?
Me: What’s going on? You need me to pick him up now?
Grayson: Soon.
Me: Why?
The three bubbles come up and stay up for a long time before disappearing completely. I stare at the phone, feeling baffled. Like… he knows I’m what, three hours from his place? It’s not like it’s a jump and a skip and I’m there.
And then is this a trick to get me to see him? What if I go there only to find that he’s there and he tries to convince me that things can go back to how they were?
“What’s wrong?” Antonio asks.
“Nothing, sorry,” I respond before I quietly try to crawl out of bed. It’s not the easiest with the pig pinning the covers down, but somehow, I manage. When I stand up, Antonio turns on the bedside table lamp.
“Cal,” he says, voice serious as I grab my glasses and slide them on. I feel too tired to mess with my contacts.
And while my sleepiness dissipates, I realize that all of this was for me… again. Antonio didn’t have to stay here, but they must have noticed I was tanking again and didn’t want me to sleep alone.
Do they not trust that I really am done drinking? Does he think I’m sneaking out for a bottle? I’ve been sober for months now, and I’ve stayed as far away from alcohol as I can.
“Grayson needs me to pick up his dog,” I say.
Antonio’s eyebrow rises and I can’t tell whether he thinks I’m lying so I can sneak off to a bar or thinks Grayson really is a fool texting me now, of all times. “Right now? At four in the morning?”
“I guess?”
“Does that not sound weird to you?”
“Obviously it sounds weird,” I say as I pass the phone to him. “If this is a trick to get me to talk to him, I’m going to punch him.”
Antonio stares at the phone. “I mean… it’s probably a trick… but I’ll go with you.”
I wave him off. “No, I’m fine going alone.”
“I have the next two days off work. I have nothing better to do, and you don’t even have a car. I’m going.”
“If you’re afraid of me going alone, I’ll take Oinksalot.”
“What’s the pig going to do?” he asks.
“Fuck if I know,” I say as I grab some jeans and swap out the sweats for them. Then I head out the door while Antonio chases after me.
“We’ll take Felix and Lane too.”
“I’m not taking all of you on a three-hour drive just to deal with Grayson’s bullshit and grab a dog,” I say. “I’m more than positive that this is just some foolish stunt to get me to meet up with him. And if it is, I’m going to be furious .”
“Too late. FELIX! LANE! Get ready to go,” Antonio calls as he knocks on their door.
“I wanna sleep,” Felix mumbles.
“We’re going to Grayson’s,” Antonio says.
“I’M COMING,” Felix shouts because he’s a nosy ass. Why are they all so damn nosy all the time?
“I just need to borrow a car,” I say as Felix comes out wearing just his underwear while he tries to pull clothes on. It’s a scene I really don’t need.
“Lane, hurry, we’re going to meet Grayson!”
“I’ve already met Grayson. He’s not that interesting,” Lane grumbles from his bed.
“Lane, I’m leaving without you,” Felix says as he grabs the dog’s leash and harness and the pan of brownies before he hurries for Antonio’s SUV. Why the pig and dog are following him, no one knows.
“Shouldn’t the dog be back with the man who needs him to walk around and the pig can just stay here?” I ask. “Actually, you can all stay here.”
Felix hears and understands none of this while he hurries his barnyard along. He even waves Brigs toward Antonio’s SUV, causing Antonio to look quite perplexed.
“Why are you putting a pig in my SUV?”
“It’s actually Frank’s SUV and Frank said I could. I heard his voice just now, all squeaky and stuff. Why does he need a vehicle this big?” Felix asks because the SUV has three rows.
“For transporting stuff for the business. Leave the pig behind!”
“He gets lonely!” Felix cries, trying to put the pig’s harness on.
The issue is that he bought the harness back when he was still under the misconception that the pig was indeed small .
It has since proven that small is not a word that will ever be associated with him as Felix struggles to buckle the harness while his boyfriend struggles to wake up enough to find us.
And why is the entire pan of brownies going with us?
Like they’ll still be there when we get home.
I slide into the driver’s seat, prepared to just drive off alone or… off alone with a pig, but the others start filing in. It’s really quite ridiculous, but it looks like I have little to no choice.
And just before I buckle my seat belt, I get a strange feeling. Like a… what if something’s actually wrong feeling, so instead of heading toward Grayson’s, I drive to my house.
“Are we already here?” Felix asks, like he doesn’t know what my apartment looks like. “Has Grayson been a blow-up doll crammed in your closet all along?”
“Yes, that is correct,” I say with much sarcasm as I jump out and run into my apartment to get a gun. And when I realize that a single gun just isn’t enough, I grab my rifle and hurry back out.
“What’s in the case?” Antonio asks.
“Stuff,” I say.
He looks confused. “I thought we were picking up a dog and/or possibly a man.”
“You should have told Lane he needed a pew pew if this was going to be a pew kind of thing,” Felix says.
“Already got one,” Lane announces, proudly showing it off for all to see. “I brought ammo too.” He whips that out, and it’s so overflowing he drops half of it. Antonio looks horrified at the ammunition going everywhere.
“Fucking hell, how many people were you planning on shooting?” Antonio asks.
“If each person took one shot, at least a hundred,” Lane answers, and I can’t tell whether it’s a joke or not. “It’s fine. Felix is my eyes.”
“That’s the least fine statement I’ve ever heard. Felix could be helping you with a life-or-death situation, see a squirrel and run off to befriend it, and you’d have no idea what to shoot,” Antonio says.
“I wouldn’t run after a squirrel… unless it was a baby… ooh but their fluffy tails! And I bet he’d climb me like a tree and perch on my shoulder. Lane, I want a squirrel.”
“If you’re going to continue being a part of this team, you are prohibited from all mentions of animals, do you understand?
” Lane asks, trying his hardest to threaten Antonio while Felix is over there with visions of squirrels dancing in his head.
“We will not talk about mammals, fish, insects, nothing that could remotely be considered cute by Felix.”
“The tail, Lane. The tail! The poof. I want one.” Obviously, Felix has heard none of that threat.
“I know with the sunglasses you can’t tell, but I am glaring so hard at you right now, Antonio.”
“Why me? He’s the one over there having squirrel fantasies. Felix, they’re just like little rats with tails.”
“Oh, I want a rat too! They’re so cute!” Felix enthuses.
“Antonio, I’m glaring even harder,” Lane says.
“Take the sunglasses off. You know I hate those things,” Felix tells him. “You look like you’re going to start erasing people’s memories.”
“Yes, that’s exactly why I’m here, to erase the memories of people who might have seen aliens,” he says with much sarcasm.
At least Felix is off the squirrel thing now. “I wanna see your handsome face.”
“I want to be able to walk without tripping over a pig, but clearly we both don’t get what we want.”
“Brigadier Oinksalot doesn’t mean to trip you. He’s just rather slow and clumsy, but he’s cute so it makes up for it. Alright. So what’s our game plan? Rush in, grab Grayson and take him home with us?”
“We’re going for the dog, not for Grayson,” I remind him.
“Yeah, but I was promised a full view of Grayson,” Felix says. “And I mean full view.”
“Why are you making it sound like you want to see him naked? And also, I’m not sure who promised you that when I’m kind of positive he’s not even going to be there.
” Honestly, I’m not positive at all, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed he’s not there and this isn’t some trick he set up. If it is, I’m going to be so pissed.