Chapter 31
THIRTY-ONE
Ellen had walked around campus for over an hour, trying to find Robert.
Her mind and stomach chewing on their argument.
Eventually, she decided to go back to the bar, in the vain hope he was also looking for her.
Or to continue drinking with that girl who talked about horses. But he wasn’t there either.
It was the largest bar on campus and it took her a while to confirm that they weren’t there. Just as she’d accepted the fact that they hadn’t returned, she felt a hand on her shoulder, turned and bumped into a familiar face. ‘Hello, Ellen. What are you doing here on your own?’
Ian was the last person she wanted to see. She could tell he disliked her, both as Lucy’s best friend and as Robert’s girlfriend. Her face didn’t fit in his exclusive group. But his tone was surprisingly kind and she replied in the same manner. ‘I’m just looking for Robert.’
Having never been alone with Ian, Ellen hadn’t understood the experience of being the centre of his focus.
His eyes were so deeply blue, they were almost indigo, and they had a way of boring into her soul.
He patted the chair next to him to tell her to sit down and then passed her one of the two bottles of beer on his table. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’
He’d never been bothered about that before, either. In fact, she’d often assumed he found her a nuisance, an annoyance, someone that got in the way between him and Lucy.
She shook her head. ‘Not really. I think I’ve ruined everything with Robert. He was talking to a girl and I pretty much accused him of fancying her. He probably thinks I’m way too clingy and possessive.’
Ian smiled and scratched at the back of his head. He had thick dirty-blond hair in a mussed-up surfer style cut. ‘Yeah, not really an attractive look to be accusing him of something he hasn’t done.’
She groaned and closed her eyes. ‘I’m such an idiot.’
Ian took a deep swig of his beer, leaned back in his chair, his long legs stretched in front of him. ‘You’re not an idiot. He knows that. He’s lucky to have you.’
She hoped the large gulp of her own beer would hide her surprise at his words.
She hadn’t heard him say anything nice to anyone, least of all her.
Drinking in the afternoon was not a good idea, her head was already fuzzy from the pint of snakebite and black that Robert had bought her, but she didn’t want to be rude. ‘I don’t know about that.’
He fixed her with those eyes again. Before today, she hadn’t understood what Lucy had seen in him. He was arrogant, opinionated and didn’t even treat her particularly well. Whether it was the beer or the rawness of her feelings, she could see how it must feel good to be desired by this man.
‘Maybe you need to make him realise that he’s lucky. Stop chasing after him. Let him come and find you.’
If only. ‘I was the one in the wrong. I need to apologise.’
He waved away her argument. ‘Apologies are for weak people. You need to know your worth. If Robert did, he’d be here instead of me.’
She took another gulp of her beer. The sooner she finished it, the sooner she could make her excuses and leave.
She could feel herself slipping into dangerous territory here.
As she drank, she glanced around the bar, hoping that Ian was right, that Robert would come to find her.
But she couldn’t see him in the sea of faces around her. ‘Maybe he’s back at my room?’
In the third year, both she and Lucy had opted to move back onto campus.
She’d done it to save money, Lucy because she was sick of the two girls they shared with and couldn’t be bothered to find anyone new.
Ellen had wondered if she regretted now not moving into the serviced apartment with Clarissa and Petra when they’d offered at the beginning of the second year.
They barely saw them now. They were history students and their building was in another part of the campus.
Ian drained his beer. ‘Drink up, then. And I’ll walk you back there.’
‘I’ll be fine.’
She stood up as she spoke, and her head swam, making her wobble. Ian reached out and held her elbow to steady her. ‘Really?’
She shouldn’t have drunk alcohol in the afternoon; it never agreed with her. Especially when she hadn’t eaten all day to save money. ‘Okay, but only if you don’t have somewhere else to be.’
‘Not somewhere I’d rather be.’
But she’d felt worse as they walked and all thoughts of finding Robert had to be put on hold. She needed to get to bed and lay down.
The next thing she remembered was waking up in bed with Ian beside her, the sheets damp and clammy against her naked skin. Her stomach lurched, she wanted to throw up and it wasn’t just the alcohol. How had that happened? Why had she had a beer with him? Why had she let him stay?
As she slipped out of bed, her head throbbed in pain.
She needed water almost as much as she needed to get dressed and get him out of there.
Picking up her clothes from the floor, vowing to throw them away as soon as he left, she willed him to wake up and leave.
Wasn’t that what boys like him were supposed to do?
Once she was covered up, she reached out and shook his arm. He stirred and moved on to his side, watched her through bleary eyes. ‘Are you going already?’
Feeling too ashamed to be annoyed with him, she just wanted to get him out of there. ‘This is my room. You need to go. I’ve got work to do.’
Her voice was so thin and plaintive, it sounded as if she was begging. He laughed and stretched his arms above his head. ‘You work too hard.’
Panic prickled in her gut. She had to get him out before anyone saw him. ‘Really, Ian. You need to go. I’m sorry. But I have to get ready and…’
She trailed off as she watched him shake his head slowly, his face twisted into mock-sadness. ‘Ellen, Ellen, Ellen. Are you saying this isn’t true love? You just want to use me and then abuse me?’
He flopped backwards on the bed, laughing at his own joke. But there was nothing funny here. What if he told Robert? If Robert hadn’t already decided that he was sick of her after her performance at the bar, this would definitely finish them off. ‘Look, Ian. I don’t want to be…well, I think that…’
He was obviously enjoying her discomfort. ‘Let me guess. You don’t want your best friend and your boyfriend to find out you spent the night with me?’
She winced at the bald truth of it. ‘I just don’t think it’s a good idea.’
He laughed as he swung his legs out of bed and leaned down to retrieve his jeans from the floor. ‘Don’t worry, petal. Your secret is safe with me.’