Chapter 14
On my eighteenth birthday, Gray picked me up, promising me a night I’d never forget.
When we arrived at the lake, he’d jumped out of the truck before the engine had even died down.
As he ran through the grass, he lifted his shirt over his head and let it fall to the ground.
He fumbled with his jeans, unbuttoning them as he sprinted.
When he reached the water’s edge, he shoved them off and threw them over his shoulder.
I ran to catch up with him, but he was in the water before I had even made it halfway.
When I approached, Gray was floating in the lake, facing me.
The crescent moon lit us up, and as I undressed, his eyes never left mine.
I had been dating Kate for two months in a desperate attempt to hide the fact that I was completely, madly, head over heels in love with him.
He had been catching me staring at him more and more frequently and had started making comments about the lingering looks, always said with a smile I couldn’t quite read.
I was terrified of scaring him off and thought that if he saw me with a girl, he would know that he was safe.
Stripped down to just my underwear and the last of my pride, I made my way to him. The water was warm, and pond moss squirmed against the soles of my feet. I floated toward him, both of our bodies bobbing up and down in the water like buoys.
I’d missed this. Our time together there.
It was just a small watering hole on his parents’ land that was probably more of a pond than a lake, but when he’d shown it to me, that’s what he’d called it.
Lake Lanier. I didn’t question him on it.
I didn’t question him on a lot of things.
Some topics were just too scary to broach.
Since I'd started seeing Kate, my time with Gray had dwindled, and I’d already begun planning breakup speeches.
I just needed to hold out for a few more weeks.
Long enough to give him a sense of satisfaction that I was most certainly heterosexual, and most definitely not in love with him, nor had I been in love with him for the last five years.
Gray’s hands were moving around under the water, and I stared at him, unsure what he was doing.
Mental images of water-beasts tugging at his legs with their sharpened teeth ran through my mind.
It wasn’t until he pulled his hand into view, holding his dripping underwear, that I realized he was, in fact, not being eaten by a lake-living shark.
He reared his arm back and hurled the boxer briefs onto the shore.
Before I could react to the fact that he was completely naked in front of me, his head disappeared underneath the water.
His legs kicked up into the air, and for the first time, I caught sight of his bare ass.
I couldn’t have willed my erection away if I’d tried.
He tickled my thigh underwater, but just as quickly as his hand grazed my skin, it was gone.
I turned around, searching for surfacing air bubbles.
There were none. It was like he’d simply disappeared.
There was movement directly under me, then his hand was on my calf.
Even the protective barrier of water wasn’t a match for the sensation of fire on flesh provided by his touch.
“Stop that,” I shouted into the darkness. His hand rose higher, grazing my ass as he surfaced, his cheeks puffed out at the sides. “Don’t even think—”
He puckered his lips, spitting a hefty stream of lake water into my face.
“I hate you. God, I hate—”
Gray’s hand cupped my bulge. His fingers pulled and pressed, tracing the outline of my dick through the fabric. He smiled at me, tilting his head to the side.
“Hey," he said.
“Hey,” I said. “Hey, Gray.”
His hand rose to the top of my waistband, fingertips spilling over like he was knocking on a door.
I wrapped my arm around his waist, hoping it was all the invitation he needed.
He looked down at the water, his cheeks glowing red in the moonlight.
His hand slid beneath my underwear, and he wrapped himself around my dick, stroking it slowly.
“I want you to break up with Kate,” he said as if we were simply having a normal conversation. As if his hand wasn’t twisting and tugging while I pulsed against him.
“You do?”
He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded. “I do. And I’ve got a list of seventeen reasons why.”
“That’s—Jesus, Gray—that’s nice.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Is it?”
“So nice.” I bucked my hips, wanting to feel him closer. “Tell me. Tell me why. Your list. Tell me about your list.”
“All seventeen reasons?”
“All of them. All of it. Let me have all of it. Just the … just, yeah. God, Gray. Just like that.”
With one hand working my shaft, he brought the other behind me, squeezing my ass. “Well, first of all, it ain’t the same without you, Half-pint. School. Church. All of it. We’re a team. We’re supposed to be a team.”
“We are,” I said, my eyes rolling back in my head.
“You’ve got a funny way of showing it,” he scoffed. “Second, I miss you.”
My eyes shot open. “You do?”
“Of course, I do. This is the first time you’ve talked to me in a week.”
An immediate pang of guilt overtook me. The only reason I was rationing our time together was to ensure I didn’t lose him. With his hand around my dick, I realized it was the most ridiculous plan in the world.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He slid a finger between my cheeks. When he brushed against my entrance, I whimpered, holding him close as I worked to keep us both afloat.
“Third, you promised me you would still make time for me. When you two started seeing each other, you swore it.” He stared down at the water, tears forming in his eyes. “You can’t just forget about me. You promised.”
I thrust my hips forward, fucking his hand. “Sorry. I'm so sorry. Didn’t mean—I didn’t. I promise.”
“Fourth, I don’t know what you get up to when I’m not around, and I don’t like it.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to steady my voice.
He tilted his head to the side and tightened the grip he had on my dick. “You know what I mean. This. What I’m doing to you.”
“I wouldn’t. We haven’t—”
“Don’t you lie to me, Kent Fox.” He let go of my dick and pulled his hand out of my underwear.
“We don’t lie to each other.” He was floating, using his hands to push himself away from me.
He craned his neck, staring at the surrounding scenery.
“I love it here, you know? Our place. It is still ours, isn’t it? ”
“Always,” I said, striding toward him, desperate to get his hands back on me.
He held his hand in front of my chest, warding me off. “Have you slept with her?”
“No. I wouldn’t. I promise. It was just hand stuff.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s your girlfriend. Why wouldn’t you have sex with her?"
"Why are you bringing this up right now?
Just come back here." I motioned frantically for him. I wanted him in front of me. Right in front of me, where he belonged. “Please, come back.” I didn’t care if he touched me there again.
Gray was in pain, and I could make it better.
I could make him better. All he had to do was let me try.
He shook his head, and there was a level of anger in him I'd never seen before. It built up in the tightened muscles around his mouth. It seeped out from behind his bright, white teeth. "This is our spot. The one that I found just for us. How could you bring her here?”
I’d brought Kate to the lake two nights before.
We swam for an hour before resting on the grass under the big oak tree.
We shared our first kiss that night, and then her hand slid under my shorts and wrapped around me.
I didn’t touch her. Not once. The thought of having to reciprocate had made me feel physically ill.
Every touch felt wrong. Every stroke, a betrayal. And somehow, Gray knew.
“Were you following us?” I said, my body tensing. He’d been watching us. He saw everything.
“Don’t try to turn this around on me. I’m not the one who was—”
“Why do you care? Why does it matter what I did with her?”
“Why do you think?” His gaze and voice were both heavy with accusation, and even though I was nothing to him, and he was nothing to me, I felt like I was in the wrong. “Break up with her. Do it tonight.”
“Tell me why. If you want me to leave her, I want to know why.” I stared at him, my eyes pleading. “I need you to say it.”
“I just miss you.”
I shook my head. “That’s not it. I know you, Grayson. I know you better than I know anyone. Your hand was just …” I shuddered at the memory. “This is more than just missing me.” He paused, looking lost. I could find him if he let me. I’d guide him home, all he had to do was ask.
“I’m scared, Half-pint.” There was a tear falling down his cheek, and I couldn’t stand to see it there. I brushed it away, but another just took its place. "I've been so scared, for so long."
“It’s you and me right now. You don’t have anything to be scared of, I promise. I would never hurt you. You know that.”
“You’ve been hurting me for weeks.” He looked down, staring at his reflection in the lake. “Do you love me, Kent?”
I couldn’t breathe.
“Do you want me to?” I said. He didn’t respond, though.
He just kept staring at the water. Gray was seconds away from shattering, and I was the one creating the cracks.
I paddled closer, just needing to put him at ease.
Wanting to be the strong one, the way I knew he needed me to be.
When only inches separated us, I pressed my forehead to his. “Is it okay if I do?”