Chapter 27
I looked from Renato to Jake, across Ty, then over to J.D. "I think we have a problem."
That made Cody sit up. "Why? What's wrong, Tanner?"
J.D. just slid his hand across his mouth. "Yeah, I'm not seeing it either."
"These men are throwing their rides," I said. "For me, J.D. Because they think I got screwed."
"You did," Ty said.
I turned to glare at him. "Like fuck I did. No, I'm not gay." And I felt my entire body still as the truth hit me hard.
The only way I could explain this was to lay it all out there. Still, Ty knew, so there was a good chance Renato did as well. Jake knew, because J.D. said he'd told him. That meant this wasn't a big deal, but in order to make them understand, I still had to say it.
And that wasn't as easy as I'd hoped.
"I'm not gay," I repeated, but softer this time. "I'm bi, and these men are standing up for me because they think I'm straight."
"Not as much as you think," Renato told me. "We've all made it clear that who you fuck doesn't matter."
"He's fucking me," J.D. said.
Renato just nodded. "Cool. Probably Cody, too."
"Yep," she said.
"And what the fuck do you think these guys are going to say when they find out I'm not straight?" I hissed. "Because I'm done being in the closet. They suspended me for getting a fucking girlfriend. If they realize I have a - "
Jake reached over and grabbed my arm, not caring that he'd just shoved J.D. back in the process. His eyes weren't on me, though. Instead, he was looking off to the side, basically behind me, and that grab was a warning to shut the fuck up.
I heard the drag of a chair before I saw the man. Twisting toward the sound, I found Wes dropping his own chair down beside Jake, all but pushing the guy over.
"Full disclosure," he said as he dropped his own beer onto the table. "I heard all of that."
All I could do was hang my head. "Fuck."
"Didn't ask if you like it," J.D. told him.
Wes just lifted his hand. "Not my business who any of you fuck," Wes assured him.
Which made Ty scoff. "Why, because you're saving yourself for marriage, so you think you're above that?"
Wes just lifted his beer and splashed a drink back.
"Well, I came over here to make sure Tanner knew we've all been talking.
Not just to the big names either, Tanner.
Cody's new little friend, Jackson? He's the one who started saying it doesn't matter.
Renato, Ty, Jake, and I have been adding to it. I know there are others, but yeah."
"And?" Cody asked.
Wes flashed her a little smile. "And while our fathers would've lost their minds, most of these guys don't care.
Gay, straight, bi, or something else? Tell me how it's different from Ty and Renato tag-teaming girls for years?
Or how it's worse to take these two-" He wagged a finger between Cody and J.D.
"-home instead of these two taking her?" This time, he was gesturing to me and J.D.
"I mean, he has a point," Renato said.
"And I haven't really heard anyone but Austin have a problem with it," Jake added. "Sure, most of them don't buy it, but I think Cody has a lot to do with that."
"Me?" she asked.
"Woman," Rhaven fake-whispered at her, giving her the reason.
I simply jerked my chin at Wes. "And you? What do your good Christian values think of me now?"
"I think you've saved my life a few times," Wes told him.
"I think I'll be in Nashville standing on the headgate with my fist in the air.
I also think this isn't about you, Tanner.
This is about us and what we deserve." Then he pointed at me.
"And we deserve a man willing to take the risks to keep us up. "
"Well said," Rhaven told him.
Wes flashed her a little smile. "I have a whole lot of space on the back of my vest, just so you know."
"Do your good Christian values allow you to work with a trans woman?" she asked, lifting a dark brow at him.
"Yes, ma'am," he told her. "I also know that Jackson Cloutier - "
"The Canadian one," Ty clarified.
"Him," Wes said. "He's been talking about how it's dumb as shit to think Cody wouldn't do what these boys do.
Pretty sure most of the men in the Pbr have either tried or had a threesome.
Granted, most of these boys are taking home a pair of girls to get their kicks, but with Cody, why wouldn't she take home two guys? "
"And," I asked, "if those guys are making out too?"
Wes met my eyes and smiled. "You're not shocking me. I've been on this tour long enough to realize no one is what they show to the world. Renato settled down. Ty's chasing Cody - "
"And failed hard," Ty grumbled.
"And still doing your best to protect her," Wes said.
"But my point is that what happens after we ride?
No one cares except Donald Merrill and Austin Chambers.
I'm not even sure if Eli and Derek do." Then he looked over at Cody.
"But those three all hate you. They see you as a threat, because if you can do this as well as them, then it makes them feel like less of a man. Well, men."
Cody grumbled under her breath. "Assholes."
"Yep," J.D. said. "But I wanna come out at Nashville, Tanner."
"What about Cody?" I asked.
He shrugged. "She said she's good with it."
"I am," she promised.
"They'll call you a slut," Renato warned. "Mr. Merrill will try to say it's unbecoming or something. That man is looking for a reason to get rid of you."
"And Deviant loves lawsuits," Rhaven said. "Cody, don't let that stop you."
"Wasn't gonna," she promised. "I also think it sucks that J.D. and Tanner have to lie about this. I mean, sure, I tried. I used the fact that I had a boy's name, and I kept my head down back in Tulsa. I convinced myself I could fly under the radar, and no one would notice me."
"I noticed," Ty said.
"Fuck, did he ever," Renato chuckled. "He also didn't think you were full of it, Cody. He's the one who pointed out that you weren't bragging. You weren't trying to be a spectacle. You were just riding the damned bulls."
"And J.D.'s proven he can," she shot back.
"Yep," Renato agreed. "Hell, he's the best the Pbr has ever seen."
"And not straight," J.D. said. "Funny that. Only person as good as me?" He pointed at Cody. "The other rider who gets fucked instead of does the fucking."
"Oh, you do the fucking too," I reminded him. "Bit less when your ribs are fucked, but I don't think anyone here assumes you aren't getting some from Cody."
"Shit," Jake mumbled. "I think half the Pbr's trying to figure out how this thing with her is working. J.D.'s clearly fawning all over her. She's definitely got you on a leash, man. She's also much too close to Tanner, so I don't think it'll be a big surprise to anyone with half a brain."
"And how much of the Pbr does that rule out?" Rhaven asked.
"Enough," Wes said. "Sadly, most of them are the ones in charge. But we riders? We want the wolf pack back. We want Tanner too. We know he takes the risks to keep us whole, and I think most of these men will come to Nashville if they can."
"Why couldn't they?" Rhaven asked next.
"Money," Ty told her.
"Gas, hotel, food..." J.D. twisted his head. "It adds up fast, Rhaven. For a rookie? He won't have the backers to keep him going yet. He's working on what he's managed to save up, hoping for some prize money to buy the next trip."
"It's what I did," Cody told her. "Then I ended up with some friends who helped out."
"And a lot of those guys," Jake said, "don't have those connections yet. They also don't ride like Cody, so they didn't make all the riders in the top ten realize their new competition had shown up. But we're making a pool."
"Give me a ballpark on the cost?" Rhaven asked.
Around the table, everyone fell silent. I could see most of these guys doing math in their heads. Ty was tapping his fingers on his thigh. Renato had his eyes turned up like he was reading invisible numbers. Jake was making little gestures with his hand, and J.D. had his phone pulled out.
"Couple thousand," J.D. said before the others. "I mean, depends on how far they have to drive to get there, but yeah. Could probably make it all work for about a grand if they double up in rooms, aren't going across the country, and so on."
"And how many riders?" Rhaven pressed.
"Thirty-five in the Pbr," Cody told her.
Rhaven nodded. "Ok. I want to help, but I'll need some numbers to run past Chance."
"So, should I add your number to my list of people I beg from?" Jake asked.
Rhaven bent to rummage in her pocket. A second later, she passed a business card over to Jake, another to Ty, and one more to Renato.
"I don't know what I can do. I do know we're here because of Cody. She caught the eye of the company, so she will come first. That means the best way to get my help is to go through her first."
So Jake flicked a finger at Cody. "Give me your number too. I'll get you mine."
Cody rambled off her number, and Jake sent her a quick text back. Next, he got Wes's, although I had a feeling that was just to make the guy feel like he wasn't being excluded.
But that feeling? The one that had made me feel like an imposter? It was still there, but softer, quieter. I just couldn't shake the nagging of it, though.
"What happens if J.D. comes out at Nashville?" I asked, unsure of who would have the answer.
"To you?" Wes asked.
"Mr. Merrill will fire me," I breathed.
"Let him try," Cody grumbled.
"No," Jake said. "Cody, I know that feels good, but if Tanner gets fired, it's harder to get him back. Suspended is one thing. Fired is another."
"And Max is working on something," J.D. insisted.
"I know," I assured him. "But Donald Merrill wants me gone, J.D. He wants Cody gone. Chasing me off means the chances of her getting hurt go up. And how many times has she pointed out that if she has to take a break like you have, the chances of her coming back aren't good?"
"They'll change the rules," she said. "Update something, amend something. I don't know, but all they need is for me to be gone so they can say it was mere coincidence. Because if I'm not riding, I'll be forgotten quickly."
"And we won't let that happen," Rhaven assured me.
So Cody turned to look right at her. "Then get the wolf pack back. Rhaven, that's the one thing we all need. Not me and J.D. All the bull riders need our safety team, and one that actually does their fucking jobs!"
"I..." Rhaven sighed. "I know. I'm trying, Cody."
"And you've been great," I assured her. "It's just a lot, and it's been building for weeks now."
"Sorry," Cody mumbled.
Which made Rhaven reach over and rub her shoulder. "Be pissed. Be loud and proud. Be you, Cody, and we will stand behind you as much as we can."
"Which means the rest of this is on us," Jake said.
Ty bobbed his head in a slow nod. "Yeah. We have to make this work, because finals are coming fast, and we're so fucked without Tanner down there."
"And the rest," Renato said.
"But mostly Tanner," Ty insisted. "Maybe that's what we need to be pushing?"
"Sure won't hurt," Jake said. "So let's finish these beers and get to the bar before the riders are too drunk to listen to us."
Renato just waved them off. "I have an early plane.
Wanna get home to my girl while she's still pregnant.
If I miss the birth of our kid, I'll be a dead man.
" Then he smiled at Cody. "And you strong women scare the shit out of us boys.
Just remember that, Cody. That's why they keep coming at you, because you make the hard parts look easy. "