Chapter Twenty-Four
By the time we get back to the house after our adventure day, I’m exhausted, sweaty, mildly sunburned, and emotionally wrung out.
Ella makes a face as we come through the kitchen and she sets plates of shredded pork and mini slider buns on the table. “Looks like you two had a long day.”
Tyler laughs good-naturedly, but I seem like the only one who’s able to notice the lack of warmth in his tone. “That doesn’t even begin to cover it, El.”
Lucas comes around the bend to join us in the kitchen, Mele squealing happily on his hip and reaching out her chubby fists as soon as she catches sight of her uncle.
Even with the exhaustion lining his features, Tyler beams at her and takes her from his brother, immediately peppering her with kisses.
“What a perfect girl,” he coos against her cheeks as he blows raspberries on them. “How was your day, Mele?”
“Certainly not as eventful as yours,” Ella murmurs as she glances between the two of us. “You guys look like you were stuck in a blender for an hour and then spit back out.”
“Just a long day,” I reply, glossing over the emotional turmoil of the last hour and instead recapping our loco moco, cliff-diving, and hiking adventures.
Ella and Lucas soak it all in, offering commentary here and there—with Lucas giving Tyler a playful smack upside the head when we start talking about our adventure at China Walls, telling him that it was a boneheaded thing to do again after almost breaking his leg last time, which was conveniently left out of the narrative when we were there.
The whole time we’re talking, Tyler and I carefully avoid looking at each other, the awkwardness still radiating between us.
Luckily, Lucas and Ella don’t seem to notice.
“Sounds like you two had a good day after all.” Ella smiles when we finish dinner, rocking Mele to sleep on her lap. “Are you all packed for your flight tomorrow?”
I expected to feel more relieved to be heading home, being able to process my heartbreak in my own bed and next to Mom on the couch. So I’m definitely taken by surprise when I feel a sharp sting of sadness in the center of my chest.
“Almost,” I finally answer, my throat feeling rough and scratchy with emotion.
“I’m glad that I got to spend at least one awesome day here, though.
” My eyes meet Tyler’s across the table, and he gives me a weak smile, the hurt still simmering behind his eyes with an intensity that makes my stomach wrench with guilt.
But if I needed any reminder of why I made the decision I did, I get it when I call Mom later that night, freshly showered and nestled in bed in the guest room, finishing packing up my suitcase and getting ready for tomorrow’s flight home.
My mother is chatting happily on the other line as she sits in her own bed with her mug of tea, making time for our conversation even though it’s well past 4:00 a.m. at home again.
I have my planner open in my lap, jotting down our plans for pickup tomorrow.
As I’m writing, I can’t help but think about how I didn’t have it on me all day and I managed to survive just fine—thrive, even, until the disastrous end to our great day.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at the airport,” she promises. “And then I can tell you all about this guy I went on a date with tonight. His name is Connor, and he’s a total doll.”
My heart sinks at the mention of her next love interest. “New guy?” I ask weakly, trying to sound excited. Already? is what I don’t add.
But Mom continues the conversation, totally unfazed.
“Well, nothing’s set in stone yet, but we ran into each other at the grocery store last week and went on two dates already, and he’s so charming and sweet.
You’re going to love him, pea. He’s way sweeter than Neil ever was.
You seemed so preoccupied with packing and getting ready to see Jack that I thought I’d wait for a good time to tell you, you know?
And now that I know things are going to work out between us, it couldn’t be better. ”
“I’ll bet.” This is exactly the same thing you’ve said about every guy who came before him. Someone’s always better than the one who broke your heart. “Does he make you happy?”
She stops and takes a slurp of her tea before sighing dreamily, and I can picture her sitting up in bed, pulling the blanket up to her chest with her tea-free hand and swooning. “He makes me very happy. I’m excited to see where it goes.”
I pick at a loose thread on the guest room comforter, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me.
She’s always excited to see how things go with a guy, and sometimes they do go great for a while, until the honeymoon phase ends and shit gets real and she’s left curled up on the couch, broken and being consoled by her teenage daughter.
It’s a tale as old as time—not that it ever stops her.
“I’m happy for you, Mom. I hope it goes well. ”
“Thank you, pea.” There’s some rustling as she sets her mug on the nightstand and shifts her covers, yawning and clearly ready for bed.
“How did things go with Tyler today? Any developments there? I saw your selfie from your hike—it looked like you two were back to being thick as thieves, hmm?” There’s an excited edge to her voice, the hopeless romantic in her dying to be let out.
It’s moments like these that I wish I wasn’t an only child, so I wasn’t the sole focus of my mother’s attention.
I opt for the lie anyway, both because it’s less awkward and because I’m tired and not in the mood to discuss my lack of love life or what happened on the hiking trail today.
“It was fine. We saw the dormant volcano on the island. Went to lunch and to see the ocean. Typical touristy stuff.” With a side of failed professions of love, no big deal.
I’m also smart enough to leave out the China Walls excursion from my story, lest I want to get an earful.
“I’m excited to come home and see you tomorrow, though. ”
“Me too, sweetheart.” She pauses, hesitating with what she’s about to say. “Any word from Jack today?”
It’s another thing not worth getting into the drama of, not when I’m in no mood to be talking about it. I give her a semi-truth. “Nothing crazy, just a few texts and voicemails, but I haven’t been answering them. It’s not worth my time.”
She hums in thought but keeps her opinion to herself, opting to wish me good night instead. “Well, that’s good that he isn’t bothering you. Men that would do that to you aren’t worth it—and they’re hardly even men, they’re just boys. But never mind him. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom.” I grip my phone a little tighter, my eyes getting hot with the oncoming rush of tears.
Thinking about everything that’s happened and all the emotional confusion I’ve been feeling lately, plus on top of that being five thousand miles and an entire ocean away from home, I’ve never felt so much like a little girl needing her mom the way I do right now.
She must sense my hesitation to end the call, because she speaks again, carefully this time. “You had a good day with Tyler today, did you not?”
“I did.” The best.
“He even convinced you to break out of your shell a little bit and try new things?”
“He did.” And I loved every single one.
Mom’s voice is soft through the receiver, getting heavier with sleep. “You have to follow your heart, pea. It’s the only way you’re ever going to be happy.”
Like that’s ever made you happy more than temporarily? “I know how to listen to my heart, Mom. I’m telling you, it’s not saying anything of value.”
Another yawn. “Well, as long as you’re sure, Ollie.”
“I am sure.” I force myself to say it with more conviction than I feel. And then I tell my mother good night and get ready for bed, shutting the lights and crawling under the covers, getting accustomed to a guest room in the house of the boy who feels like anything but a stranger to me.
But that’s when I hear the voices, stirring my curiosity.
The first voice I hear is Tyler’s, which is interesting since we both went to bed half an hour ago, wanting to be well-rested before having to get up early in the morning to eat breakfast with Ella and Mele before I head to the airport.
I quietly sneak out of the room and tiptoe down the hall, following the sound of his voice, until I peer around the doorway and see him slumped at the kitchen table with his brother.
They look like they’re having some sort of manly conference that intuition tells me I definitely shouldn’t disturb.
“I don’t know what to do, man,” Tyler sighs, looking lost. He traces his fingertip around the place mat in front of him, and I know him well enough to tell that he’s mentally laying out his options.
Lucas sits across from him sipping a beer, clearly lost in his own train of thought.
It’s been so long since I’ve seen them together like this, so long since Tyler’s had a conversation like this with Lucas, that it’s fascinating to observe.
“What are your options, Ty?” Lucas asks his brother, staring at him long and hard.
“She said she didn’t want a relationship.
That you two aren’t compatible. There isn’t really much room for negotiation there.
” Okay, so clearly Tyler spilled everything to his brother and now I’m being a weird Peeping Tom on an advice session that seems to have something to do with me.
My cheeks immediately flame with embarrassment in the dark hallway.