Chapter 57 Time for a change
CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
Time for a change
Ruby
After getting ready and packing the next morning, I stopped for a Starbucks coffee before hitting the freeway.
I desperately needed a pick-me-up, though I doubted even the double shot would be enough to do the trick.
Coffee was great, but it wasn’t a miracle drug, and a miracle was exactly what I needed right now.
A three hour drive home to Detroit was the last thing I needed. With nothing but open road, I was left to obsess over mine and Ryker’s conversation. I’d tossed and turned all night, thinking of all the things I shouldn’t have said, but more importantly, the things I should have.
I’d always struggled with the idea of giving up my dreams to keep Noah happy, and if I dated Ryker, I’d need to make the same sacrifice. He couldn’t choose his NFL team based on the hospital I ended up at. That wasn’t how it worked.
Having just found my independence again after nearly dropping everything to follow Noah, there was a piece of me that couldn’t bring myself to do the same with Ryker – especially with the risk he might one day turn around and decide we’d run our course.
I was terrified of losing him, and with the newfound attention coming his way, a part of me still worried he might trade me in for someone more suited to his world.
I didn’t doubt his feelings for me, but would they hold up when he was thrown into a high-profile lifestyle.
One filled with models, influencers and women who belonged there more than I ever could – or ever wanted to?
Even the idea of people knowing who I was simply because I was connected to Ryker made me uneasy. I’d never craved my five minutes of fame or moment in the spotlight. I cared about him for him – not the athlete everyone else saw.
Last night around midnight, he’d texted saying he’d arrived home safely. I’d held my phone for what seemed like hours, debating the right way to respond after the way we’d left things. Eventually I’d settled with a thumbs up. I’d never sent him a thumbs up our entire lives. I was officially fucked.
Ryker had never told a girl before that he loved them, and I didn’t take it lightly that he’d told me. I loved being the first one – I wanted to be the only one.
But could it really be that simple? Best friends, then lovers, then happily ever after? The jaded part of me couldn’t shake the fear that it was too good to be true. I’d thought I had everything once before, only to watch it unravel – and this time, the stakes were even higher.
*
By the time I pulled into my childhood drive, a headache had formed behind my eyes. Shifting my car into park, I rustled through my purse, searching for Advil.
Along with my mother’s car, Nancy’s was here. My pulse raced at the thought of Ryker being inside with them. Was he waiting for me? Were we about to make up? Or break up for real? Could we even break up when we’d never officially been together?
Only one way to find out.
After dry swallowing two pills, I quickly gathered my things and headed inside.
The instant I opened the front door, a squeal had me dropping everything. Nancy was on the other side, bouncing on the spot with excitement, as if she’d been waiting for me.
“Ruby, honey, get in here. It’s been too long.”
The last thing I needed was a hug from Nancy, because it felt far too familiar to her son’s.
Ryker had worn me down over the past few months, enough that I couldn’t deny it anymore – I officially didn’t despise affection. Not his, anyway.
I liked when he rested a hand on my thigh while he was driving, and how he lazily stroked his fingers across my back during a movie, and I’d even begun to look forward to the post-sex snuggling... just in time for me to mess it all up.
Nancy led me into the kitchen, where Mum was seated at the table, a half-done jigsaw puzzle in front of her and two steaming mugs.
“Is, ugh, Ryker here?” I checked, attempting to sound nonchalant.
Nancy shook her head. “He left this morning.”
“Left? Like on a run?”
“No, honey. He got a call late last night that they needed him earlier for pre-draft press, or something like that. Charles went with him. They flew out first thing.”
“Oh.” I slumped into the seat opposite Mum. “He didn’t tell me that.”
“He said he’ll be tied up with commitments over the next few days, so it doesn’t make sense for us to fly out so soon. Your mum and I have changed everyone’s flights to Thursday instead.”
Thursday? That was a full three days away. The plan had always been to make the trip together, so that we could spend as much time as possible with Ryker before his life changed.
“Are you okay, darling?” Mum asked, reaching across the table to brush my arm.
“Just tired,” I lied.
“How about I put the kettle back on,” she suggested, sliding her seat back. “A warm tea will help.”
Reaching for my phone, I checked whether I had any missed calls or texts from Ryker, explaining the change of plans.
Nothing.
He always kept me in the loop, so being left in the dark about this felt as good as being shut out – almost like he didn’t want me there.
Maybe he didn’t.
We can’t be friends after this either, Ruby. Now, it’s all or nothing for me.
If this was the start of nothing, it fucking sucked.
*
The next morning, I took an everything shower since I had nothing else to do.
I shampooed my hair twice, left in a hair treatment, shaved and exfoliated my legs, and even applied an in-shower face mask.
It was only once my fingertips started to wrinkle that I rinsed everything off and shut off the water.
As I stepped back into my bedroom, my towel tied around my chest, I felt strangely out of place. Ryker had been right – this room no longer feeling like mine. It belonged to a version of me I hadn’t been for a while.
The comforter had a floral pattern I wouldn’t choose nowadays, framed photos of friends I barely spoke to covered the dresser – along with way too many of Noah – and random trinkets were pinned to the corkboard of memories I barely remembered.
It was time for a change.
After drying off my hair and getting dressed, I ran downstairs and grabbed a trash bag.
“Are you okay, hon?” Nancy asked.
She and Mum were back to their puzzle. If it wasn’t for their changes of clothes, I’d question whether Nancy had even gone home last night.
As tempting as it was to stay with them – gossiping, drinking tea and slotting pieces – I didn’t want to kill my productivity.
“Sure am. I’m cleaning out my room.”
Ignoring the curious look Mum and Nancy shared, I dashed back upstairs and got to work.
Two hours and two and a half Taylor Swift albums later, I had three trash bags full of donations.
My bedroom looked incredible bare, like it was void of all personality. That sounded like the perfect excuse for a Target run. What better way to distract myself than by spending money on things I didn’t need?
After loading the donations in my trunk, my phone vibrated against the dashboard, right as I was buckling my seat belt.
Noah: I saw your car was back. Can we talk?
As tempted as I was to leave Noah on read, we were overdue to clear the air. I started to reply, telling him I’d meet him after Target, but quickly decided to rip the Band-Aid off and deal with him first.
Target could be my treat afterwards.
Ruby: Coffee shop. Ten minutes.
Noah: See you soon.