Chapter - 19
ELOISE
I had made a lot of headway in my ASL in the last few weeks. As far as I knew, nobody else knew I was taking online classes because, well, I hadn’t told anyone. Except Logan. But he never asked me about them. This was probably due to the fact that hockey season was back in full swing, and his schedule was significantly busier. This made sneaking around our friends to meet up with him much more difficult. Yet it also gave me more time to focus on the language I was determined to learn. I had a feeling Logan held himself back from asking me about my lessons when we met up, though. He was receptive to helping me with signs and sentence structure whenever I asked, usually after we hooked up at his place or mine.
I wanted to be braver, though.
The day Logan and I made out like teenagers in the bookstore in Orange, I had tossed a few signs around in front of Beck, who didn’t make a big deal out of it but just smiled at me.
Today, however, I was stepping it up. I had given online presentations with my choppy sign language a number of times already, so I was sure that my friends could fill in the blanks for me or correct me if I signed anything wrong. It was time for me to show off what all I had learned the last few months though.
Courtney and I had baked for everyone tonight.
Nothing fancy, just some classic chocolate chip cookies.
Beck and Adam showed up first, then Taylor strutted into the townhome seconds before Josh ran inside and tackle-hugged his fiancée onto the couch. After we all rolled our eyes at how physically affectionate Josh and Courtney were with each other, everyone had snagged a couple of cookies for themselves and were settled in various places around the kitchen.
It was then that, finally, Logan showed up.
God, Logan was so handsome.
He had cut his hair recently, making his dark curls look a little tamer compared to the haphazard mess they usually were. They were a little damp, as if he had just showered. Which made sense if he was coming straight from practice.
He smiled politely at Susan who, after embracing him in a one-arm hug, shuffled down the hallway toward her bedroom for the night.
Logan toed off his sneakers, making his way towards the dining area, fist bumping Adam and Taylor in greeting and saluting Courtney and her fiancé, before landing those dark eyes on me.
I gave him a nervous grin, trying my best to keep my body from blushing under his gaze. Based on the way his eyes heated as he rubbed the side of his neck with the scars, I had a feeling he was onto me.
Oh well.
I swallowed once, trying to play it cool while everyone else chatted around us.
I leaned a hip against the counter, my body language the air of confidence, as I lifted a chocolate chip cookie with one hand and signed to Logan with the other.
I gently pointed at him directly before signing my question, Are you hungry?
Logan’s eyebrows went up, every muscle in his body stiff as he watched me sign. I thought I noticed a faint, very faint pink color tinge his cheeks and ears.
I cocked my head to the side in confusion and signed to him again, You hungry? I even held the cookie a little more in front of me, refusing to believe that he didn’t understand what I was asking him.
“Oh my god,” I heard Taylor snicker before clapping their hand over their mouth.
“What?” Beck asked, following their gaze to look at me.
“Lo…” Taylor asked after lowering their hand from their mouth, “What are you signing right now?”
I frowned, my cheeks heating from embarrassment but not entirely understanding why.
I froze, looking back at Logan again, who had one arm crossed against his large chest while the other came up to smother a smile he was clearly trying to hide.
I glanced back at Taylor before it clicked in my brain.
Oh my god.
It was happening again.
I pressed my lips together, the heat in my face making me want to fan my shirt away from my body before I decided to feign innocence.
Because I was signing wrong.
I wasn’t asking Logan if he was hungry, by making a grip shape with my hand and stroking it down my throat to sternum once. I was asking Logan if he was horny, by making a grip shape with my hand and stroking it down my throat to sternum multiple times.
Everyone in this room remembered pie-maggedon, as Courtney so lovingly dubbed the event. The day I tried to be nice to Logan and offer him a slice of pie, but because I had little to no understanding of American Sign Language, I offered him vagina instead.
…An offer he later cashed in on, happily.
Multiple times.
Anyways.
I had grown since that day that felt so long ago. I wasn’t embarrassed or intimidated by him anymore. I didn’t feel humiliated any time anyone in the group poked fun at me, because we all poked fun at each other. That was the comfort of it all. We could tease and play and forgive and no one ever held a grudge. This was a safe space. So, I made direct eye contact with Logan again, trying to hide the humor from my expression by masking it with confusion and innocence. I widened my eyes and signed.
Are you horny?
Logan exhaled, huffing his form of laughter as he dropped his hand and shook his head at me.
Josh and Courtney cackled, while Beck peeked at us between her fingers that were covering her face in secondhand embarrassment. Adam just watched the two of us with amusement.
I frowned at Logan, You’re not horny? I signed, offering him the cookie in my hand once again as if I was still clueless as to what my mess up was.
Logan shook his head again and stepped towards me, his large body towering over mine and reminding some very specific parts of me how much I liked that. How I wasn’t intimidated by him anymore. Now, I was just excited.
Logan grabbed my hand that I was signing with and guided the movement correctly, hungry. He even mouthed the word for me so I would understand.
Before he could do more, I nodded my head at him, repeating the incorrect sign.
“Right, hungry.” Horny.
Logan shook his head again, his bottom lip bitten in between his teeth while the others laughed, Taylor even wiped tears from their eyes at the comedy of this moment. History repeating itself. Logan’s grip on my hand tightened, halting my repetitive sign. I could see that Logan was struggling. He wanted to tease me so badly, but the last time he did, I shoved a plate of pie in his chest.
We had a lot of animosity between us then.
We didn’t now, but he clearly didn’t know where my boundary with teasing was in front of everyone.
It was so, so sweet.
I almost felt bad for faking my confusion.
“Someone tell her,” Josh chuckled, wrapping an arm around Courtney’s shoulders and smothering his laughter in her hair.
“Um, Lo—” Beck started, but snapped her mouth shut when I suddenly stepped into Logan’s space. I was so close to him that I had to arch my neck to look up. I had to keep one of my hips against the countertop to make room for one of my feet to stand in between his, but he didn’t retreat.
Logan did drop his grip on my hand though, and his eyes became the slightest bit hooded at my sudden nearness.
“Did I sign something wrong?” I asked, widening my eyes in false distress as I took a small bite out of the cookie, splitting a large chocolate chunk with my teeth. I made what I would best describe as puppy-dog eyes at Logan as I chewed, but his eyes bounced between my gaze and my mouth.
Everyone else in the room quieted as they watched us.
I took my thumb and brushed the rest of the gooey chocolate chip from my cookie, before lifting my thumb near my mouth. “…Are you sure you’re not?” I asked, my voice low and sultry, which took little effort on my part to accomplish. Logan always made me feel sexy, he brought out the wild woman in me.
I halted before the tip of my tongue came out and tasted the melted chocolate on my thumb, loving how Logan’s eyes watched me intently before I lifted my thumb towards his parted lips.
“…Are you hungry, Logan?” I hardly recognized myself. This was the flirtiest I had ever been with him in front of this group. But I didn’t care. Logan was staring at my thumb like it pained him, and I could see his hand balled into a tight fist as it rested on the counter next to us.
I stretched up on my tiptoes, resting my arm against his chest to keep my thumb near his lips as I leaned in close to him and whispered, “Or are you…something else?”
Logan blinked and his eyes landed on mine, and I could see the switch flip in his brain as he realized I was teasing him.
I faintly remembered hearing Taylor mumble something along the lines of, “Fuck me” as they watched me playfully seduce Logan, but those words didn’t receive acknowledgement because as soon as I knew that Logan was on to me, I smeared the chocolate from my thumb onto his face.
He stiffened, and the others gasped in surprise as I fell back on my heels and backed away a couple steps. My smile was uncontrollable, and I set the bitten gooey cookie down on the countertop as I gauged his response at my playful prank.
Logan was flushed, and his chest heaved as he lifted a hand to wipe the chocolate from his cheek.
Courtney was laughing. “She totally played you, Logan.”
I bit my lip, feeling a little trapped because Logan’s large body was blocking the only exit out of the kitchen.
Logan smirked at me, sucking the chocolate off of his fingers before taking a step back and reaching behind himself to open the refrigerator.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“What are you—?” The question died on Josh’s lips because Logan quickly pulled out a bottle of chocolate syrup before closing the refrigerator door. His dark eyes leveled with mine as he flipped the lid of the bottle open.
“Don’t you dare.” I held up a finger towards him in warning, but I was giggling from the high of playing with him like this. Especially in front of everyone. Logan’s eyes searched mine for a little bit, clearly trying to read me.
I sunk my bottom teeth into my lip, my eyes clearly trying to find an escape route around him.
Logan just smiled, before charging me.
I squealed loud, and without shame, before quickly ducking around his side and sprinting out of the kitchen.
“Oh no!” Beck gasped at the same time Josh shouted, “Get her, Logan!”
I made it to the living room, jumping over the couch and turning around quickly to see Logan pausing on the other side of the furniture, his chocolate syrup bottle still in hand.
I faked going left, and his body followed my movements too quickly to be fooled.
He stayed put, stalking towards me.
“Run, Lo! Run!” Courtney encouraged with a flap of her hand.
I grinned at Logan before officially going right, towards the hallway and staircase.
He was hot on my heels, and my heart was racing with the thrill of being chased by him. The adrenaline rush was one I hadn’t experienced before, and I fucking loved it.
I almost went down the hallway, before deciding not to bother Susan and sprinting up the staircase instead.
Logan almost lost his footing when I changed directions so quickly, but he recovered enough to grab the banister and propel his body up after mine. Even though I was sprinting up the stairs, I was laughing. I was laughing almost hysterically as my body struggled to outrun the current professional athlete.
I went for my bedroom, knowing that there was a lock on the door before I realized that in half a second Logan would catch me no matter what.
However, I could fight back if I went to the bathroom.
So I did.
Logan barged in after me, a victorious grin on his face as he cornered me in the small space. His presence took up the entirety of the bathroom as I backed away with my hands out in defense, as if I was taming a wild animal instead of the man that I was developing big feelings for.
He shook his head once, letting me accept my fate as he slowly advanced on me enough to make me step back into the tub.
Right when our friend”s faces appeared in the bathroom doorway, laughing, and cheering for me to escape, I switched on the water and detached the showerhead, aiming it at his chest.
Logan spluttered for half a second before jumping into the tub with me and squirting an alarming amount of chocolate syrup all over my hair and face.
“No!” Courtney’s arms fell to her sides, her shoulders slumping in disappointment even though her smile lit up her face at the sight of Logan and I struggling against each other in the shower.
I had one hand on his wrist that was squirting syrup all over me.
He had one hand on my wrist that was spraying water all over his chest and face.
Within a handful of exhilarating seconds, Logan and I were both a mess.
Taylor started clapping, nodding their head as if they were a mediator calling a tie between a fight. “Well done, you two. Well done.”
I laughed again as Logan finally yanked the showerhead from my grip and dropped the chocolate syrup to turn off the water, his dark eyes flared in amusement as he slumped against the tile.
I had chocolate syrup all over my hair, dripping off the sides of my face and neck. Probably a good amount of it went down my shirt. My leggings and feet were also soaked from the shower water.
But I had so much fun just then.
Logan and I were just grinning at each other as we took a few moments to catch our breath before Beck started to enter the bathroom with a stack of towels that she set on the countertop.
“Here, you two should get cleaned up,” Beck smiled at us, in on a secret that only she knew about.
I thanked her, and laughed when Josh said, “Hold on, Court. I think some chocolate got on you. You should probably step into the shower, too.”
Courtney playfully slapped Josh’s chest in return, turning to leave down the hallway, “Are you sure you don’t just want to take advantage of the fact that I’m wearing a white t-shirt right now?”
Josh didn’t need any more encouragement. With a low, masculine grunt, he hauled Courtney into the bathroom, almost knocking Beck over before she supported her fall by grabbing onto the doorway.
I laughed as Josh and Courtney’s bodies slammed into the shower wall in between Logan and I, happily handing Josh the shower head so that he could completely drench Courtney’s body as she spluttered and swatted and cackled at her fiancé’s ridiculousness.
The four of us eventually got cleaned up, and even took time to soak up all the water and rinse out all the chocolate syrup that got pooled at the bottom of the tub. I was just so giddy the rest of the night. Even with wet hair and a flushed face and comfy pajamas that I changed into, I felt like I had a place in the world.
Like I belonged and was supported.
I thought back to months ago, about how I brutally ripped myself out of my mother’s clutches by moving out as quickly and efficiently as possible. I didn’t realize how much my soul craved independence from her. From both of my parents. For the first time in my adult life, I felt like I fit.
Like these people saw me for me.
Even Logan, who currently sat on the floor in front of my spot on the couch, was able to make me feel both cherished and appreciated. Even though I had changed a lot since the first time we met.
I stared at the back of his head, admiring how much curlier his hair became after getting drenched in the shower fight, and noted how far I had come as a person. How we both had seen the worst in the other, but still managed to find the softer spots as well.
The part of Logan that had him rubbing my feet when my cramps were bad, or the part of me that originally started to learn his language out of spite, but now I fully intended to learn because I wanted to talk to him. To communicate with him in the way that he felt most comfortable. To show him my appreciation in such a way.
For no other reason than because I wanted him.