Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Julie
Asher
Morning, Juliette. You up?
Me
I am now.
Excellent. Meet me in the hall in an hour. St. Louis waits for no man (or woman).
I’m pretty sure it would, in fact, wait.
But why would you want it to? It’s a gorgeous day for driving.
It’s freezing outside.
Yeah, but you like the winter. You told me so yourself.
I can’t be held responsible for what I said while I was having a panic attack.
On the contrary, I think you said the truest things about yourself that day.
Whatever you say.
I love it when you’re spicy in the morning. I’ll get your latte and make it extra hot. Your throat is probably sore from all the howling.
I hate you.
You don’t, Juliette. You really, really don’t.
Parker Core Four
Mom changed the name of the group to Parker Core Four
Ben
Parker Core Four mom? Seriously?
Mom
Yes, Benjamin. I don’t want you to forget where you came from.
Me
We talk in this group chat every single day. We all live in the same city. I don’t think we would forget where we came from.
Mom
It amused me.
Dad
Me too.
Mom
See? It amused dad too.
Dad
Everything you do amuses me, Rachel my love.
Ben
You guys know this is a group chat, right?
Mom
If you’re weirded out by that then I have completely failed as a parent.
Me
Is there a point to this chat?
Mom
You mean besides me telling my children how much I miss them?
Ben
Mom, I saw you yesterday and Hallie and I are coming over for dinner tonight. How much could you possibly miss me?
Mom
Well, now I don’t miss you at all. Your sister on the other hand…where in the world are you, Jules?
Me
Indianapolis.
Mom
Well obviously you know I need more than that.
Me
A hotel in downtown Indianapolis, but we’re leaving soon and driving to St. Louis today.
Mom
And how are “we”? Are “we” having fun?
Me
It’s fine, I guess.
Dad
That doesn’t sound very enthusiastic, Jules.
Me
It’s eight in the morning and I’m undercaffeinated. Ask me again later. Actually, don’t. I’ll tell you about it when I get home.
Mom
That’s probably for the best. I need to hear all about this in person so I can see your face when you talk. Just like your brother, you have a very expressive face.
Me
Can I evict myself from this group chat?
Mom
You can certainly try. Best of luck.
Dad
She means no. Your stuck with us, Jules.
Ben
You okay, Jules?
Me
I mean, I could use some coffee but otherwise, I’m fine.
You sure? You know you can talk to me about anything.
I know. I really am fine.
Okay, I’m always here if you need me. Just call.
I will, I promise. Hug Hallie for me.
Will do, baby sis.
Four minutes Ben.
Yes, but I learned a lot during those four minutes. Those are four very important minutes.
Fuck off.
Love you too.
Molly
Please tell me you are climbing that man like a tree Jules.
Emma
Molly, locate your tact.
Molly
Like you guys haven’t been thinking it.
Hallie
I mean, yeah, but I wasn’t going to ask or anything.
Me
Hallie is my favorite today.
Molly
I’m never your favorite.
Me
And there’s a reason for that.
Molly
Well, I will be your favorite when you check the outside pocket of your bigger suitcase. I snuck in all your good underwear *just in case*
Hallie
I really think Molly should be your favorite now. I can’t believe I didn’t think to do that. I’ve failed as a best friend.
Me
I mean, I wasn’t going to say it but…
Thanks for the underwear save, but I won’t be needing it. This trip is a friends thing. Not even a friends thing. An acquaintance thing.
Molly
I’m sure you could probably convince someone of that, but that someone would not be me.
Hallie
Or me.
Emma
Definitely not me.
Me
Can I leave this group chat?
Molly
No dice bestie. You’re stuck with us forevs.
Me
Why does everyone want me to stay in their group chats? I don’t think I’m a group chat kind of girl.
Emma
If I have to stay, you have to stay too.
Hallie
EVERYONE HAS TO STAY.
Emma
So where did you guys stay last night? Indiana right? And St. Louis tonight?
Me
How did you know that? I didn’t even know we were going to St. Louis today until ten minutes ago.
Asher gave me your itinerary.
Seriously? Why?
He said he wanted every day to be a surprise, but he was afraid he wouldn’t know if the surprises were getting too stressful for you. He knew I would know, so he gave me the itinerary so I could tell you where you were going if you needed me to.
How would you be able to tell?
I just would.
Asher
Hansley Girls
Kyla changed the name of the group to Hansley Girls
Me
I’ve always wanted to be a Hansley girl.
Kyla
You wish you could get on our level.
How’s it going with the girl of your dreams?
Charlie
I’ve been drowning in diapers so I’m going to need to get all the way caught up.
Annie
What she said.
Kyla
Long story short. Asher likes a girl. He somehow convinced this girl to take a road trip with him from Pittsburgh to Boulder. They’ll be here in like five days and they’re staying for a week.
Lucy
He more than likes her.
Me
I more than like her.
Annie
*squeal*
Charlie
Our baby is all grown up and bringing home a girl! I could cry.
Me
I’ve brought home girls before.
Charlie
Not like this.
Me
No. Not like this.
Kyla
I’M SCREAMING. Is she there with you right now? Can we Facetime? I need to meet her. Five days is way too long.
Me
Slow your roll, Ky. She’s not here. We’re still at the hotel. She has her own room.
Lucy
What’s the fun in that?
Me
The fun is taking it slow, so she knows I’m all in. She’s worth whatever time it takes.
Charlie
SWOON ASH. Fuck, you’re like a man written by a woman.
Mom
How are you doing, my baby?
Me
All good here. We’re still on schedule to be in Boulder on Saturday.
I can’t wait to see you and meet Julie. Can you ask her what her favorite cookie is?
You don’t have to bake, mom. You’ve never baked for a girl I’ve brought home.
You’ve never brought home a girl like this before.
How do you know everything?
It’s a gift. And I think you bringing Julie home means exactly what I think it means.
It does. She’s the one, Mom. I know it for sure. I’ve never felt like this before.
Well then, she definitely needs cookies.
Me
What’s your favorite cookie?
Juliette
Why do you want to know?
It’s a whole thing. Humor me, Juliette.
Peanut butter chocolate chip.
Excellent choice.