12. Deacon
Chapter 12
Deacon
Sweat clung to my skin in a thick sheen as I awoke to a dip in the side of the bed. Peeling my eyes open, I saw Charlie’s bright face.
“What time is it?” My tongue felt thick and my throat hoarse as I tried to scoot up, but immediately thought better of it as my muscles strained.
“It’s eight thirty,” Charlie responded, her rosy lips tightened as she placed the back of her hand against my forehead. “You’re burning up, Deacon. Where do you keep your medicine?”
“Burning up?” I tried to sit up again and saw the room start to spin, a sharp dagger-like pain shot through my skull, and I winced, squeezing my eyes shut.
“You’re sick and you definitely have a fever. Just stay here and tell me where your medicine cabinet is, and I’ll get it for you. ”
Even the quiet sound of her soothing voice sent rods of pain through my skull. Sick. There is no way I can be sick .
But as I assessed my body, I found that every muscle ached like I’d just done a ruck run with an eighty-pound backpack on. Every time I moved, there was a cold sensation that hit my skin from the sweat that soaked the sheets. And my damn head…it hurt. Badly.
“Fuck,” I groaned, slowly opening my eyes to prevent another shard of pain from attacking my head again.
“Shhh,” Charlie cooed. “Give me a minute, I’m going to go look for some medicine and new bed sheets.”
When she rose from the bed, I reached feebly for her wrist and caught her just in time. I smacked my lips together, trying to get my mouth’s muscles working properly again. Long red hair slid over Charlie’s shoulder as her head tilted to the side and for the first time, I noticed there were different shades of red in it. Strawberry blonde highlights shimmered throughout the auburn and fire red shades. It reminded me of a blood orange sunset—wild and untamed but held such striking beauty that I couldn’t look away, no matter how hard I tried.
“I don’t have medicine,” I croaked.
Long lashes fluttered as she blinked at me. “You don’t have any medicine?”
I shook my head. “I never get sick, so I don’t keep that stuff in my house.”
“Okay.” Her blue eyes darted around while she thought through the problem. “Do you at least have a thermometer?”
I tried to think, but the ache in my head was throbbing so badly I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. “Under my bathroom sink maybe.”
Warm hands wrapped around my right hand that was still holding onto her wrist. I stared at where our hands joined, seeing how easily hers fit in mine. Where I was rough and hard, she was all smooth and soft. The feeling of her skin pressed against mine was…I couldn’t explain it. Comforting. Thrilling. It made me want to feel more and I hated that because I wasn’t supposed to be this way. Not when I was the complete opposite of the kind of man she needed.
Unable to stand it any longer, I forced my hand back to my side and rolled my head to the right, so she wasn’t in my direct line of vision anymore. She stood there for a few agonizing seconds before I watched her from my periphery disappear into the bathroom.
Frustrated as hell, I lifted my head and slammed it back into the pillow. Which was a huge mistake as searing pain roared in my skull.
“Agh.” I squeezed my eyes shut again and silently chastised my stupid ass for doing that.
I was quickly discovering that I did many stupid things while Charlie was around. Thinking straight was nearly impossible in her presence. Part of me was annoyed by it. For so long, I had lived my life alone and I liked it that way. I didn’t have to answer to anyone or take another person into consideration when I made decisions.
I thought I was going to live the rest of my life like that, and I was fine with it. Content even.
But Charlie Banks was quickly ruining my plans and even worse…I liked it.
She appeared through the bathroom doorway with a wide smile painting her lips. Her arm rose into the air and between her fingers she clutched a thermometer. “Found it!” She waved it through the air.
Her enthusiasm did something funny to my stomach, making it feel like a swarm of bees was flying around inside. I tried to stomp out the feeling, but as she grew closer with her little pajama set showing off the curves of her body, I found the bees attacking my stomach even more.
Leaning over me, she slipped the thermometer out of its plastic case and told me to open up.
“I can do it myself,” I fussed, trying to reach for the thermometer, but she yanked it back.
“I’m only going to say this once, Deacon, so listen up.” A stern look replaced her normally happy one as she pointed her finger at me. “You are sick as a dog and thankfully, you have someone here to take care of you. Being stubborn will only exhaust your body and keep you sick for longer, so I expect your full cooperation.” With that, she lifted her right brow and popped her hip out.
“You’re such a brat,” I glowered at her.
“And you’re a grumpy asshole,” she snickered before gesturing for me to open my mouth.
So, she has some sass in her after all . Sunshine with some heat .
Rolling my eyes, I opened my mouth, and she slid the thermometer in. We glared at one another until the beep went off and she took the thermometer from me.
The feistiness she carried just a moment ago vanished as she looked down at me with concern. “It’s one hundred three, Deacon. That’s pretty high for an adult.”
“Yeah, I know.” My body started to shake, and I tried to hide it beneath the covers, so she didn’t worry but I was too late. Her eyes went wide as she took in my shivering body.
“I’m fine.” I tried offering her a smile, but she only scowled at me.
“You are definitely not fine. But I know of something that could help.”
I tried not to fall over as Charlie tucked the final edge of the clean fitted sheet onto my bed. She rounded the bed and hopped onto my side before spreading her legs a little.
Patting the mattress between her thighs, she gestured for me to come over. “Come on. Lay down here.”
“No.” I shook my head, which was a mistake as the room started to spin again. All the pressure from my sinuses was wreaking havoc on my stability.
“You said you wouldn’t be stubborn.”
“ You said I couldn’t be stubborn. I didn’t agree to anything.”
She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips and it was the cutest damn thing I’d ever seen in my life. Making Charlie frustrated was very quickly becoming a top five favorite pastime of mine.
“Will you get over here, already? I promise it will make you feel better.” Pleading shone in her eyes. With a look like that, I couldn’t deny her any longer.
Sliding her left leg off the bed to give me better access, I laid down on my back between her thighs.
“Scoot up a little bit.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Hurt me?” she asked with a laugh.
“I weigh about three times as much as you, Charlie.”
Even though I couldn’t see her face, I knew she’d just rolled her eyes at me again. “I’ll be fine. Scoot up.”
Begrudgingly, I did as she said until my head was resting on her stomach and her thighs were snug against me. My breathing shifted and my heart rate sped up being this close to her. Feeling so much of her skin pressed against mine.
I hated that I wasn’t in my best state. That my skin still had a sheen of sweat over it. But she didn’t seem to care as she brought her legs even closer against my side.
“Comfortable?”
“Yes.” I closed my eyes and noticed every point where our bodies melded together. My throat grew even more dry from the contact. She was so damn close and the faint smell of vanilla was soothing. I relaxed a little more and noticed how her firm thigh muscles provided a little more support around me.
“Good,” she quipped. “I’m going to place the ice pack on your forehead now to try and get this fever down.”
“Okay,” I nodded slightly and braced myself for the cold.
Her touch was gentle as she brought the ice pack to my forehead, but I sucked in a sharp breath at just how damn cold it was and accidentally grabbed her shins from the jolting sensation.
“I know, it must feel freezing. I’m sorry.” Once the pack settled onto my forehead, I felt her lean forward a little. “This should help distract you.”
My eyes sprang open at the comment wondering what kind of distraction she had up her sleeve. Then, I felt her fingertips glide along my scalp with just the right amount of pressure to ease the pain.
“Ahhh,” I breathed out, feeling my head grow heavier in her lap as my neck relaxed.
“Feels amazing, huh?”
“Oh yeah,” I noted, drawing out the words. Chills spread out over my back and chest from her touch. “Where did you learn this?”
She was quiet for a moment as her fingers continued down the base of my skull where the pain was greatest.
“I’ll make you a deal. A question for a question.”
It was a dangerous game letting this woman inside of my head. Maybe it was the sickness or some delusional part of me that thought I had a chance in hell of being a normal guy for a moment. One who didn’t have a fucked up past that kept me up at night. One who avoided any sense of closeness to others.
But I’d found that Charlie was good at getting close to people. She was too hard to look away from. And the pull I felt toward her… The strength I normally had to fight it was di minished from whatever sickness plagued my body right now.
“Okay.” Her fingers stilled on me for a second like my agreement was striking. Which, I guessed it was given how I’d acted toward her for most of the time she’d been here.
I heard a quick breath move past her lips as her fingers started moving over my head again. “When I was little and would get sick, my mom would always let me crawl into her lap and she’d give me scalp massages to help with the headaches.” Her laughter fluttered over me like a gentle breeze in springtime. It was…nice. “When it was just me in my apartment, I ordered a scalp massager for when I was sick. It was nice and helped with the headache, but there’s nothing like the comforting touch of someone else trying to make you feel better.”
Her world seemed like a fairytale, and I wondered if she’d ever experienced the pain of the world before the apartment fire. Maybe she just had a way of letting things go that I’d failed to master.
I stayed quiet, thinking about what she’d said and bracing myself for the question she was about to ask. I didn’t like people prying into my life, which was why I’d found great friends in Pebble Brook Falls. Somehow, we all had a bit of darkness to us. Things we wanted to keep hidden away from the light. And we all agreed not to poke around when things were too sensitive.
Charlie wasn’t like that. It seemed like she stared into the void, beckoning it to fight her, knowing all along that she was going to be the victorious one. She was brave, I realized.
“Did you build the tiny cabin yourself?” A wave of relief washed over me at her perfectly benign question.
I closed my eyes and let my body sink a little deeper into the mattress. “Not entirely. The structure was there when I bought the property, but I remodeled it this past year to use as a rental. My friends helped some too.”
“Was Sarah the one to bring in the flowers?”
Opening my eyes, I looked up at her. “I believe it’s my turn to ask the next question.” Her eyes lit up as she bit the corner of her bottom lip.
“I guess I did agree to that.” She winked at me and the simple gesture had my blood roaring in my ears. I shifted my gaze to the ceiling.
“Do you like it here?” The words were out before my muddled mind could stop them. I blamed it on the fever and not the growing curiosity I had for her.
There was no hesitation with her answer. “It’s exactly what I hoped it would be. Wide open spaces brimming with nature’s life and wonders. The decision to move away from the city was something I sat with for a long time before pulling the trigger.” She let loose a breathy sigh as she combed her fingernails over my scalp, sending a ray of goosebumps down my arms. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Did you grow up in a city?”
The cold pack on my forehead slid a little bit as I nodded. Charlie moved it back into place before she rubbed my temples in slow circles. “Charlotte, actually.”
“Oh really? I mean, obviously I knew you lived there at some point, but I didn’t know you were from Charlotte.”
“Yup. My folks are still there, and they love it. It just never made sense for me. I always felt claustrophobic with all the people and big buildings. I didn’t understand the allure of being on top of everyone else, especially when you’re surrounded by strangers who hardly take the time for a good morning greeting.”
“Yeah, that part was difficult for me too. I had plenty of friends, but after the fire…I don’t know. They just seemed to kind of disperse and move on with their lives while I was stuck in the hospital for weeks.” The sad notes in her voice made me angry. Her ray of sunshine was clouded by rain, and I hated it. I found myself wanting to find every single one of those people who made her feel alone during that time and punish them.
The anger had my head throbbing, but I didn’t care. I hated that Charlie had ever felt that way. And I hated myself for not checking on her in the hospital.
My fire chief had told me she was in the same hospital as me when he and the rest of the guys came to visit me. I’d asked about her then but couldn’t find the courage to seek her out. I thought she would have hated me and seeing her in a hospital bed because of my doing…it had been too much.
I wanted to tell her that I made a mistake back then. That I should have visited her if only to make sure she was recovering well.
I wanted her to know that I saw her. Every freckle on her beautiful face. The subtle way her nose wrinkled when she laughed at something. How the crystalline blue of her eyes reminded me of Bahamian waters—so stunning they didn’t seem to belong in this world.
I wanted to tell her everything…
Instead, I just sat in silence as I watched her, those eyes that had haunted my dreams and many waking moments well with tears.