Chapter 18 #2
Tears pour down our faces, all I want to do is pull him into me, kiss him, make him forget all of this.
But there’s that small voice in the back of my head telling me he’s right.
He does deserve more than being my secret, he deserves everything good, and I can’t give him that.
There isn’t a way that we can be together in the open, I’ve been warned about causing a scandal, literally given a manual about how my actions represent the Warriors.
“You know I’m right,” he sobs, looking up at me through wet lashes.
“I don’t want you to be right.”
“I know,” he lets out a sad laugh, “neither do I.”
“Can we have this week at least?” I ask, desperately hoping we can have this time together.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he says, “it will only be harder in a weeks’ time.”
“But how am I supposed to see you and not kiss you? I can’t stay away from you.”
“I’ll see if I can stay with Jamie and Max for the week, until you leave for Tynerston.”
“What? No!” I pull him to me, wrapping him in my arms, burying my face in his neck. “Don’t leave, please stay with me.”
He lets me hold him as I cry onto his shoulder. Fuck, it feels like someone is reaching into my chest and they’re gripping my heart, trying to yank it from my body. Is this what heartbreak feels like?
Leaning back, I cup his face with my hands again and look into his eyes. “It hurts here,” I gesture to my chest. “My heart… Donovan, I lo—”
“Don’t say it,” he interrupts.
“But—”
“No, please don’t say that to me.” He shakes his head as much as he can, but I’m gripping his face. “Don’t say that unless you’re telling me we can be together, in the open.”
I kiss him instead, claiming his lips with mine.
He melts into my touch, opening for me and letting me taste him; I try and memorize everything I’m feeling but it’s all too overwhelming.
He grips my shirt, and I pull it over my head, needing to feel his skin against mine, needing to feel all of him.
We collapse onto the bed, frantically pulling at our clothes, as though we both know this is a bad idea, and if we pause to think about it, logic will take over.
“I need to be inside you, baby, please,” I moan, kissing my way along his throat.
“Yes,” he pants.
Usually I’d take it slow, get him ready, but I can’t wait; the knowledge that I’m losing him, that this might be the last time I feel him, it’s making me desperate. I grab the lube and messily slather some on myself, before lining up with his entrance and filling him in one thrust.
“Fuck!” he cries, digging his nails into my back. Knowing he’ll leave a mark there only makes me want it more; he’s marking me as his, and I want to be his for as long as I can.
I thrust into him again, reveling in how tightly he holds me as his hips move to meet mine. I’m consumed with the sensation of his skin brushing against me, how perfectly he fits under my body, his taste when I lick his throat.
“You’re fucking mine,” I growl into his neck, feeling my orgasm getting closer. “I told you that you’re mine, your tight little hole is mine. You’re fucking mine.”
He whimpers and cries out, but doesn’t agree like he usually does.
“Fucking say it, Donovan.” I thrust into him again, moving my hand to grip his chin, making him look at me. “Even if we can’t be together right now, even if it’s not the right time for us, you’re fucking mine.”
“Yes,” he moans, “fuck yes, I’m yours.”
His words send me over the edge, and my orgasm takes over, filling him with everything I have.
My body wants to rest and collapse, but this isn’t enough, I need to make this last as long as possible.
I pull out and kiss my way down his body, loving the way his hands feel when he grips my hair.
His cock is so hard it’s practically throbbing, he’s desperate to come.
“Oh, fuck!” he whimpers, as I take him in my mouth.
I grip his ass and notice my cum leaking out of him, he whimpers and clenches around me as I use my finger to push it back in.
I don’t let up, using my thumb on his taint and my finger inside to make him see stars.
I’m determined to give him an orgasm he’ll never forget, if this is our last time together, I’m sure as fuck going to make sure he doesn’t forget it.
“Stephen!” he cries out, thrusting and filling my mouth with cum. I swallow every drop and keep working him with my hand until he can’t take it anymore, physically pushing me away from oversensitivity.
“Fucking mine,” I murmur, kissing my way up his body, before claiming his mouth again.
Donovan usually passes out after intense orgasms and tonight is no exception.
I clean him up as best I can, before crawling in beside him and pulling him into my arms. I force myself to stay awake, watching him, taking in every little detail.
The way his dark lashes look against his light brown skin, the way his hair softly curls at the ends, how soft and perfect his lips look.
I hate that this is ending, that it has to be this way, that the world won’t let me love him. He wouldn’t let me say it, but I do, I love him. And giving him up for football is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I must have drifted off to sleep, because when I wake up, Donovan’s gone.
A note sits next to my bed telling me he’s gone to stay with Jamie, that he packed a few things, and if he needs anything else he’ll come back when I’m in class.
I check my phone in case he left another message there, but there’s nothing from him.
News has gotten out about me starting though and I’ve got a stream of notifications telling me congratulations, how happy people are for me, how this is the best thing that’s ever happened.
I turn off my phone and roll away, letting myself cry some more, before I have to put on a brave face and step into my new role as a Warrior.