Chapter 6
6
KILLIAN
L unch was enlightening. Noelle was harboring an illusion that she was seen as the maid's kid around the resort, and that couldn't be further from the truth. I always saw her as competition on the slopes and a friend off.
She was good, and she worked hard to get better. She deserved every bit of success she got on the mountain. I never saw her as a charity case.
I hated to hear that she felt like we were somehow better than her. That she couldn't hope to be more than a maid's daughter. But I didn't want to push it. It seemed to be a core-deep issue with her.
It explained a lot. Why she worked so hard. Why she didn't let anyone help her.
Her family was important to her too. She took care of them without complaint. She'd given up on her dreams to support them. Would I have done the same?
I wasn't sure I would. I wasn't in the same situation. I never had to worry about where money was coming from. My parents didn't need my help, and even if they did, I had numerous brothers and a sister who could have stepped in.
They were the ones who'd taken over the resort while I did my thing. I never questioned it. It was always assumed they'd bear the responsibility of the business while I pursued my career. But Noelle didn't have that luxury.
It only made me respect her more. I couldn't have done what she did. She put her family first and gave up on her dreams. As much as I respected it, I also felt bad that she didn't get to pursue her desires.
I wasn't sure what to do about the situation. It bothered me, but she wouldn't let anyone help her.
We made our way outside, and Noelle said, "The toy store is only a few stores down. Can you walk?"
I was tired and achy from the therapy. I felt like an old man. Working out shouldn't be this hard. But I didn't want to let Noelle know any of that. "I can handle it."
"Do you need to take more pain pills?" she asked, her tone laced with concern.
"I'll grab some when we get home." And then I wanted to take a nap.
Noelle opened the door to the shop for me, and I walked inside. The store was packed with toys.
"He loves building things. You could get some smaller Lego sets that don't take long to build."
I grabbed two boxes. "What else?"
"He said paper and crayons."
"That's easy enough."
"You could probably get some cars and figures too. Kids that age love to play pretend."
I waited while Noelle dug through the bins of toys. When she was happy with her selections, we took our items to the counter.
"Can you grab my wallet?" I asked, both of my arms were occupied with the crutches.
Noelle raised a brow.
"It's in my front right pocket."
"Your right or mine?" she asked as she moved close.
"Mine."
I could smell her shampoo. Her hand slipped into my pocket, and I stopped breathing. I felt the warmth of her hand through the thin material. My dick hardened at the thought of her moving her hand a little to the left.
I wouldn't be able to hide my reaction to her in these pants.
"Got it," Noelle said, her voice rough.
Did she feel how intimate that was? I'd never asked Riley to go into my pocket to dig out anything before. But then again, this was my first time on crutches.
She pulled out the wallet and opened it for me.
"The black one."
She handed the card to the worker, and he rang us up.
I was pleased that Joey would be happy the next time he stopped by.
At home, Noelle placed the toys on the counter and brought me water and pills.
It was a long morning. I'd overdone it. My knee was throbbing, and my entire body ached. It felt good to work out, but it was like starting all over again.
"Do you need anything else?" Noelle asked me.
"Can you get a bin for the toys?" I asked.
"I can find one for you. Anything else?"
"Take the credit card from my wallet. That way you can buy anything I need."
Her forehead wrinkled. "Oh, I can't do that."
"Riley has one too. You can't be my assistant without it."
She pursed her lips, but said, "Fine."
"Can you restock the fridge too? I need protein, veggies, and fruit. I'll send you a list."
"I can do that."
"Bring it back in a few hours, so I have something for dinner." I couldn't keep eating out if I wanted to get back in shape.
"Christopher has a skiing competition tonight. I'd like to see it."
"Can I go with you?"
She seemed pleased by that prospect. "Sure."
When it came to supporting her family, she didn't seem to mind that I was there as long as I didn't pay for anything or offer her any opportunities. She was a tough one. I wasn't sure what I was doing with Noelle. I wanted to get to know who she was now and why she hadn't pursued her dreams. Her situation called to me.
I wanted to do something for her, and I knew she'd hate that. How could I make her life easier? Was there a way to do that without setting off her alarm bells? Maybe my brothers would have some ideas. They'd been working with her for a while now.
She pulled a throw off the back of the couch and arranged it over my legs. "Get some rest. I'll be back in a few hours."
As she turned to go, I grabbed her wrist. The skin was soft under mine, and her pulse was racing. "Thank you, Noelle."
She smiled tightly. "I'm just doing my job."
"You don't have to be here. You could have said no."
"This is good for me too, remember? You're my first personal assistant job. You're giving me credibility. Now, get some sleep. I'll be back soon."
She tugged her hand out of my grip and was gone. As soon as the front door clicked shut, I swallowed the pills and put on the TV. I didn't last long before I was drifting off.
I dreamed of Noelle touching me. She seemed to be searching for something or checking for an injury. It was one of those dreams where no one talked. She was patting me down, my abs, my legs. Her hands were everywhere, and I was hard as a rock.
I startled when the door opened.
"Honey, I'm home." She winced when she saw that I was blinking away sleep. "Oh, I'm sorry. Were you still sleeping?"
"I guess so. What time is it?" I ran a hand over my face.
"It's time for more pain meds." Noelle helped me to sit up, then handed me two more pills.
"Thank you." My voice was rough with sleep. I swallowed the pills. "I can't believe I slept that long."
"You did a lot this morning."
"I feel like an old man. A little PT, lunch, and shopping takes me out for the afternoon."
Noelle sat on the couch at my hip, her hand resting on my thigh. "You're healing from your surgery. You'll feel tired for a while."
Did she realize she was touching my leg? The heat of her palm seared through the material, making me want her to move it higher, closer to my dick.
"I'll put the groceries away while you clean up. I thought we could make dinner together before we see Christopher's race."
"You don't have to do that." It wasn't in her job description. I wasn't sure what my brothers had discussed with her. I kind of wondered if Noelle was supposed to be keeping an eye on me for them. I couldn't blame them for not wanting to hang out with my grumpy ass.
"We both have to eat." Noelle stood and held out a hand for me.
I placed my larger hand in hers and let her assist me to standing. She handed me the crutches, and I rested my weight on them. "Thanks. It has been easier having you here."
Before she started working, I was having to get up and get my own water and pills, which usually meant I went without, and when my brothers would stop by, I'd be in pain.
She smiled, her face softening. "You're welcome."
She went into the kitchen and began putting the groceries in the cabinet and the fridge. It was nice to have someone in my space.
Riley handled my business things and ordered deliveries, but she didn't put my things away or cook dinner with me. We didn't have that kind of relationship. I'd always kept people at a distance.
On some level, I didn't trust anyone to be there for me versus my fame and money. But it was different here with my family. I trusted them, and I knew Noelle was a natural caregiver. She was a hard worker and would do a good job to earn money, but she also cared if I was in pain. This wasn't just a job for her.
Noelle reached into a higher cabinet, and her shirt lifted, revealing a tantalizing sliver of skin. When she fell back to her heels, she caught me staring at her and tipped her head to the side. "Do you need help?"
"I got it." I wasn't in such bad shape that I needed her to assist me going to the bathroom. The shower was a different matter. I enjoyed that interaction a little too much.
I turned and made my way slowly to my bathroom. When I closed the door, I leaned the crutches on the counter and washed my face. I felt rested, but also a little groggy. The pain meds were kicking in again, easing the constant ache.
At one time, we were friends. I'd had no idea that she crushed on me, even though my brothers teased us about how much time we spent together. I had girlfriends, but there was so much acting going on when I was with them. They wanted me to be a certain way. They didn't really care about my training, only enough to brag that they were dating a star athlete.
But with Noelle, I could always be myself. Was that the case now? Or had that one kiss changed everything? I wondered what she would say if I brought it up again. Would she downplay it, saying it was a mistake?
I never got a chance to talk to her about it or even process what it meant. I hadn't seen her as a love interest. She was a friend and a teammate. It had been easy to talk to her, to discuss our hopes and dreams. I had no idea that she liked me as more than friends.
I hadn't even been able to think about the possibility because my hesitation and reaction had cost me everything. She ran away, and then we went in separate directions. I hadn't given her much thought except when I ran into her on visits home.
They were short enough that I didn't need to deal with the fallout from that kiss. We could ignore it. But now that we were going to be spending a lot of time together, we should probably get some closure on it.
Although I couldn't say what I wanted from such a conversation. The more time I spent with her, the more I enjoyed her company. I didn't want to make things awkward between us. Maybe it was better not to say anything at all. To pretend it never happened.
Tonight was about supporting her brother. I could do that. It would hurt to see my teammates compete without me, but Christopher was different. He was just a kid, and I couldn't wait to see Noelle's reaction to watching him from the sidelines.
Would she regret not having done more with her career? Or was she content to watch her brother fulfill his dreams?
I took care of business and then met her in the kitchen. She already had chicken on the counter along with peppers and onions.
Her eyes brightened when she saw me. "Do you like chicken fajitas?"
"Love them."
She grinned, and I was struck again by how little I saw her smile. She was always so serious, probably worried about all her responsibilities and how she'd meet them. But with me, she was starting to relax.
"Are you able to cut peppers? I was thinking you could lean against the counter."
She hovered nearby while I got into position and picked up the knife. "Thanks for letting me help."
"You're not an invalid. You can help cook a quick and easy dinner."
She wasn't going to be my nurse. She was going to push me, which was exactly what I needed. "You're pretty good at this caregiver stuff."
She laughed as she moved back to the cutting board where she was cutting the raw meat into strips. "I've had lots of practice. Whenever my siblings are sick, I go home and help. If you don't push them a little, they'll stay home from school all the time."
"You'll be a good mom one day." I wasn't sure where that came from. Maybe it was the affection I heard in her voice. I could picture her gently chiding her brother and sister to clean up after themselves or do their homework.
"Oh, I don't know if I want a family."
"Why's that?" I glanced over at her.
Noelle sighed. "I enjoy taking care of my siblings, but I wonder when is it my turn?" She shook her head. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
I lowered my knife to the cutting board. "You're not selfish for wanting something more."
"I'm happy. Content. Really. I don't want anything else. Other than my family to be taken care of."
"They are because they have you in their corner."
"You're sweet," Noelle said, almost dismissively.
"I've never been called sweet before. Surly. Grumpy. Determined. Hard-headed."
Noelle laughed, and I paused my cutting to enjoy the merriment on her face. How often did she let go? What did she do in her spare time?
"You're a nice guy too."
I let out a breath. "That's not what my last girlfriend said. I think she said something like I was too involved in snowboarding to care about her."
She winced. "I'm sure that's not true."
I grunted.
She raised a brow. "Did you ignore her?"
"I was invested in the season, but I could have given her more attention. It's just, I can never tell if someone is there for me or everything else that comes with it. The hotel rooms, the expensive dinners, the sponsors who try to wine and dine me to sign with them."
Her face softened. "That must be hard.
"What about you? Are you seeing anyone?" I sure hoped not.
She shook her head firmly. "No time for that."
"No time ever? Or just lately?" I asked, curious to know more about her.
"I don't do relationships, I guess you could say. I'm too busy for that nonsense. Every time I try, I realize that I don't have the time or desire to put more of myself into something that might not even work out. Right now, I need to be solely focused on work and my family."
"What do you do for fun?" I asked.
Noelle placed the strips of chicken in a bowl. "I go out with my friends occasionally. But lately, they're spending more time with their boyfriends—I guess you could call them fiancés now."
"You don't have any hobbies?" I persisted as she swiped the cut peppers from my board and dumped them into the pan on the stove. She turned on the heat.
I grabbed the onion, peeling it before cutting it into small pieces.
"No time for hobbies either. But if I had one, I wouldn't even know what I'd do." Her voice was contemplative.
"What about snowboarding?" That's all we did as kids. I couldn't imagine she didn't do some form of it now, at least for fun if not exercise.
"It's not something I can justify. Snowboarding is a luxury. Maybe one day."
My heart contracted. "I don't think I could survive if I couldn't snowboard." I gestured at my bum knee. "I'm barely surviving now."
Noelle smiled over at me, then turned her attention to the peppers which were simmering in the pan. "You'll be okay."
I couldn't imagine not being able to snowboard, and not because it was my job, but for the joy of it. "When was the last time you snowboarded?"
Her eyes shuttered. "It was before you left." Then she waved a hand. "Since the kiss."
She hadn't been on the slopes since the kiss. Not only had that kiss changed everything between us, but she'd given up the one thing she loved more than anything.