Chapter 20
20
KILLIAN
T he next few days passed in a whirlwind of therapy sessions, extra workouts to get competition ready, and beefing up my diet.
Noelle was busier than ever between baking and her assistant business that seemed to have taken on a life of its own.
"You need to hire someone to help you," I said to her when she got a request for service at ten p.m. while we were watching TV.
Noelle sighed. "It's a good problem to have, but I don't know where to start."
"What's holding you back?"
Her brow furrowed. "I'm scared."
"Have you researched how you'd pay people who'd do this service for you?" I asked her.
"I looked at delivery companies, and they offer anyone who wants to pick up the service a share of the fee. But I want someone who works for me directly."
I nodded. "Maybe just one person and then expand."
She curled her legs under her. "That way, I can control the quality of the service provided."
I nodded again. ''Makes sense."
"But I need to interview people, and I've never hired anyone before." Her voice was hesitant.
"You know what you want. You just need to ask the right questions to find out if they fit the profile. You can place them on probation until you see if it works out."
Her forehead wrinkled. "What if it doesn't?"
"During one of my appointments, Lincoln mentioned his sister Aspen coming home. She's looking for work, something flexible."
"Hmm. That could be an option. Do you think she'd be interested?"
"I don't know her. But I can talk to Lincoln about it at my appointment."
She sighed. "Thank you for helping. I get so overwhelmed; I feel paralyzed about it."
"You feel paralyzed about which part?"
"The money that's coming in right now is overwhelming. My job for you is coming to an end, but it's been nice having extra money to help my mom and to put in savings. And it's great timing, because I need more time for the resort-assistant service."
"You're overwhelmed by the amount of money coming in?" I asked, trying to understand where she was coming from.
"Every time it's deposited, I get a notice on my phone, and with each one, I feel panicky. I know that makes no sense. But it feels like too much."
"You can't believe it's real and that it will continue?" I asked, trying to get a feel for what she was saying.
Her shoulders lowered. "Yeah, I think that's it."
"When I signed my first contract, and then the sponsor deals, I couldn't believe it either. I think it's okay to assume it will continue. You're a savvy business person. If you see a problem, you're going to pivot. You're going to be fine, and you have the Wildes at your disposal if you need business advice."
"I know I do. You guys have been great."
I didn't want to be lumped in with my brothers. "What am I going to do without you?" I pulled her into my lap so she straddled my hips.
She smiled down at me. "You'll be just fine."
I looped my arms around her. "How do you figure?"
"You make tons of money, everyone loves you on camera, and—" She waved her hand, trailing off.
"And what?" I'd been waiting for her to say how she felt, to tell me not to go, or something. I knew she never wanted to get in the way of anyone's dreams, but I almost wanted her to. I wanted her to lay everything on the line for me.
Noelle tipped her head slightly as she looked down at me, her hair caressing my cheek. "You love your job. You love your life."
I loved her, and that changed everything. The realization tore through me like a hurricane-force wind. My heart thumped harder, and my palms got sweaty.
"I'm not so sure that's true anymore." Everything was different. This felt like home. Not random hotel rooms.
"Of course, it is." A naughty smile spread over her face. "We should take advantage of the time we have left." She ground over my dick, and I was powerless to ignore the desire coursing through my veins. I'd always want her.
We didn't need to think about the logistics of our relationship. Not tonight. Not while she was straddling my lap, and my dick was seeking out her wet heat.
My hand caressed the silky strands that fell down her back. "You're a dream; you know that?"
A smile curved over her lips. "I love that."
I love you. But again, I swallowed that sentiment. It wasn't the right time to have that conversation. Not while she was in my lap. She wouldn't trust it. She would assume it was the lust talking, but I finally knew what that sensation in my chest was—love.
I loved my family. I loved snowboarding. But I'd never felt this all-consuming emotion for a woman. I didn't want to announce it for the first time while she was pulling her shirt over her head and unhooking her bra.
Her breasts spilled out as if they were happy to be free. I knew I was thrilled to get my hands and mouth on them again. She was right. We only had so much time before I needed to leave. I shouldn't be wasting it talking about business or watching TV.
I cupped her breast, squeezing it so that her nipple was begging for my mouth. I sucked on it, and her head fell back. The whimper had me moving to the second nipple while my fingers tweaked the first one.
She eased off my lap long enough to remove her leggings and panties, and then she was tugging down my sweats and dropping to the floor between my legs.
With her on her knees in front of me, she was more than a dream. She was a fantasy. One I'd think about every day when I was alone in some hotel room.
She kept her gaze on me as her tongue swirled around the tip, the underside of my dick, and then she swallowed me whole. I couldn't think about leaving or what I should be doing. It was all feeling.
Right before I shot off like a teenager, I hauled her into my lap and eased her over my dick. I watched my swollen head disappear into her heat. I held her to me with a hand on her back. "You always feel so good."
"Mmm," was all she managed as she rose over me and slid down.
We moved together, me helping her with my hands on her hips. When I felt myself losing control, I touched her breasts, sucking one nipple, then the other.
Her hands tangled in my hair, and when I eased back to watch her, her skin was flush, her nipples hard points.
"You need me, baby?"
She nodded shakily, and I moved my finger to her clit. Her mouth parted on a gasp, and she trembled around me. I couldn't hold back any longer and came with a roar.
I bit my lip against the urge to tell her how I felt. This was the worst time to reveal my love. She wouldn't take me seriously, and I wasn't sure it would even be welcomed. She'd been clear from the beginning that she didn't trust easily, and she wasn't looking for a relationship.
We'd have to have the conversation before I left. There was no question about it.
Tonight, I'd show her with my body. We showered, and then I moved her to my bed, where I made love to her again. I hope she was starting to realize the depth of my feelings, so that when the time came, she wasn't surprised.
T he next morning, we were up early. Noelle fried donuts, and then I had a doctor's appointment with Lincoln and a final therapy session.
This time, Noelle stayed in the waiting room. She said it was because it wouldn't take long, but I wondered if she was already feeling sad about this being our last day together.
I'd gotten used to the rhythm and cadence of our days. She took me to my appointments, we shopped or grabbed lunch, and then rested in the afternoons. In the evenings, we cooked dinner together and made love on every surface of the condo.
I couldn't believe that tomorrow I'd be on a plane, flying away from Noelle and my family. I'd just gotten to know everyone, and now I was leaving.
Would I be able to keep in touch, or would the rigors of training and my career snuff everything else out of my life?
I couldn't imagine not wanting to return, to see the people that had become so important to me. But that was what had happened for the last few years. I was so busy; I didn't have time to even think about my family, much less return for anything more than a quick visit.
I waited in the exam room for Lincoln, and when he knocked on the door, I mustered a smile.
He grinned wide. "Today's the day. You must be excited to get back on the slopes."
"So excited." But I couldn't render any enthusiasm. When I first came home, I hated the idea of spending weeks on a couch and doing rehabilitation. But now, I wanted a setback so I could stay a little while longer. If I had more time, maybe I could convince Noelle to give me more than a fling, because I wanted forever.
I just wished I could fit her into my life. I didn't see how it was possible, and it wasn't fair for me to say anything if I didn't know how it was going to work.
Lincoln manipulated my knee this way and that. "Any pain? Even a twinge?"
"Nothing." Instead of release, the tension knotted tight in my stomach.
"I don't have a reason not to clear you. You have any reservations?"
"None." Except for the woman sitting in the waiting room.
"I'll sign the paperwork and forward it to your agent. Does anyone else need a copy?"
I shook my head.
"What's the first thing you're going to do when you're back?" Lincoln washed his hands in the tiny sink as I slid off the exam table.
"Get on my board."
"I bet everyone's relieved you'll be back soon."
"Any reason to think I can't perform at the level I did before?" I asked.
Lincoln sighed as he leaned against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest. "There have been cases with professional athletes where they can never quite get back to where they were. But I have no reason to think that you'd suffer the same fate. Rick said you've been working hard and taking care of yourself."
"That was all Noelle. She kept me in line."
"You two are close."
"We're friends," I said, not wanting to admit more to him. I didn't know Lincoln that well.
He grabbed his laptop and moved toward the door. "I wish you luck, and I hope that when you retire, you'll think of us and move back to Telluride."
"That's the plan." I shook his hand. "Thanks, Lincoln. I appreciate everything you've done for me."
Lincoln walked out of the room, and I headed to the waiting room. I'd thought a lot about this day, and I assumed I'd be happy and excited to leave town. But as I approached Noelle, a crease appeared between her eyebrows.
"You good to go?"
"He cleared me."
She grinned and stood, wrapping her arms around my waist. "Congratulations."
I held her to me, burying my face into her hair. I didn't want to let her go but I had to. Her life was here, and mine was wherever Jeremy told me it was.
My phone buzzed.
Jeremy: Got the paperwork. I'm lining up interviews for you tomorrow. Rest up tonight.
I sighed.
"Was that your agent?" Noelle asked as we headed out of the doctor's office.
"He has things planned for tomorrow."
"You'll be busy."
"Want to grab lunch after therapy?" I was eager to have one more day with her.
"Your mom wanted you to come to her house for lunch. Was that okay?" Noelle asked as we slid into my truck.
"Of course." It was over. Our little routines weren't necessary anymore. Now I'd be leaving everything behind, and it hurt.
I somehow went through the motions of the exercises. At the end Rick said, "I can see you're already somewhere else. Good luck to you."
"Thanks for everything."
When he walked me out, the front-counter person handed me a present. "We got this for you."
I rubbed the stabbing pain in my chest. "You didn't have to."
"This is what we do in a small town."
It was a framed picture of me with the staff on one of the first days. "This is great. I'll hang it in my room. It's a good reminder not to take anything for granted."
Everyone seemed to like that. After their offers of encouragement, I met Noelle outside where she was driving my truck.
I slid in the passenger side.
"Oh, wow. You got a framed picture."
"Yeah, they were great."
"Lunch with your mom?"
"Let's do it." It felt like time was moving more quickly. Before I knew it, I'd get on the plane and be gone forever. It sucked, and I wasn't sure there was anything I could do to slow down the momentum.
As we drove to my mom's house, I said, "You should keep the truck."
"I thought it was a rental."
I cleared my throat, wondering if she'd think I was ridiculous for buying a truck for home when I was never there. "I bought it."
"You bought a vehicle for a few weeks?"
"It’s to use when I'm home. If you drive it, then it will keep it in good condition. I can't just let it sit." It was a good way to get her out of that car she drove around town. I was constantly worried it was going to break down on her.
Noelle frowned. "I can't take your truck."
"Sure, you can."
"I have a car."
"We both know that thing won't run forever. I'd feel better if you were in something newer."
"You know?—"
I held up my hands. "It's up to you. But I'm leaving the keys with you, and since you're my assistant, I'm asking you to drive it every once in a while."
She huffed out a breath. "Fine."
"You're welcome to use it as much as you want."
"That's not necessary."
"I want to know you're taken care of while I'm gone."
She glanced over at me, and I couldn't answer the question I saw in her eyes. Was this something more than we planned on? I couldn't go into my feelings not knowing how I could act on them. Not with my responsibilities and obligations.
Noelle pulled up to my parents' house and turned off the engine. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." I'd give her everything if she only asked for it. She didn't even have to do that. If I lived here, I'd have more time to show her how I felt.
I opened the door to the house, expecting to see my parents, but I wasn't prepared for everyone jumping out from where they were hiding and yelling, "Surprise!"
Joey ran up to me and hugged my leg. "Were you surprised?"
My heart was still thumping hard. "I sure was."
"We're going to miss you, Uncle Killian."
I swung him into my arms, my gaze seeking out Noelle, who was smiling.
"I'm going to miss you more."
He wrapped his arms around my neck. "You're going to visit us, right?"
"Of course. I'll be back before you know it." Except I'd seen the schedule, and it was brutal. One race after the other. Jeremy said I needed to capitalize on the rehab story. I was getting more interest from the larger brands who wanted to sponsor me. Apparently, they loved comeback stories when they worked out.
"I told you he was coming back," Joey said to his dad.
"I'm sure he will when he can." Oliver took Joey from my arms, and I missed the warmth and weight of him. What would it be like if I had kids? Would I be content working at the resort and teaching my children the skills I'd learned growing up?
Was it time to hang up my board? Even if I wanted to, I had obligations. Contracts to fulfill. My life wasn't my own, but I'd never minded before. Now the thought of living how I was before I was injured made it hard to breathe.
Everyone wanted to talk to me, and the lingering question was when I'd be back. I didn't have an answer for them.
Mom cooked a huge spread of food, so we ate and talked. The longer the conversation went on around me, the more I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to miss this. My brothers would have more kids, and they wouldn't even know who I was.
And then there was Noelle. The woman I never saw coming. She surprised me every time she was in my life, and I didn't want to go through my days without her. She'd become the air I breathed, the nectar I needed to thrive.
I wasn't sure what would happen to me if I was so far away from her, and I didn't want to find out.
When we were cleaning up lunch, my phone buzzed. "I have to take this. It's my agent."
I moved out of the kitchen, seeking a quiet room. "Hey. What's up?"
"I got you on a private plane leaving in two hours."
My stomach sunk. "What? Why?"
"You know radio stations like to interview you in the early morning."
"I could do the next day."
"You're already booked." Jeremy's words were clipped.
I ran a hand through my hair. "I was hoping I could leave tomorrow." Or not at all.
"I need you here."
I let my head fall back, the tension swirling in my chest. "Okay."
"See you soon." He clicked off, having gotten what he wanted. Me on a plane coming to him. Shouldn't I be the one calling the shots? I was sick of being told what to do.