Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
TRIPP
P ulling my tee over my head, I toss it to the floor. It had been a long ass day. I ached in places I never knew existed. Riggs worked me hard. I knew he was going to be a prick about it, but he was so much more of a prick than I expected.
My heart stammers in my chest when I think of Dixie. Was Riggs right to think that she is feeding back information to the Attaway’s? I can’t see it. I knew Dixie; sure, that was ten years ago but I somehow trusted her and I wasn’t sure if that made me an idiot.
The Dixie I knew left.
We had five days to get through until the funeral.
Almost one whole week.
She had been here nearing three days so far and it already felt like a month.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I push my hand through my hair and a deep sigh passes my lips. Tugging my socks off, I ball them up and launch them across the room towards my tee.
I felt well and truly wrecked.
Pushing to my feet, I’m unbuttoning my dirty jeans when I hear a muffled cry. I ignore it for a moment, pushing them down, but after a minute or two, Lainey’s cry gets louder.
Tugging my jeans back up, I rush out of my room and into Dixie’s to see it empty and a now thrashing Lainey.
“Shh shh, it’s okay,” I say softly to Lainey. Holding her against my chest, I bounce gently then reach for her pacifier. Popping it into her mouth, she sucks it in and makes a sweet humming noise as I continue rocking. Her head is against my chest, my heart beating at a steady rate and I feel her getting heavy in my arms.
Everything that was once consuming my mind now fades into silence, and it’s just me and Lainey.
A creak in the floorboards has me looking towards the door when I see Dixie walk through, towel wrapped around her wet body. Suds still sitting on her silky skin, beautiful blue eyes wide, dark brown hair pulled into a messy bun. Her eyes skating between me and Lainey.
I lower my eyes back to her daughter, and I feel protective over her in an instant.
This little dot on my chest, soft snores leaving her, pacifier slowly slipping from her mouth.
“She was crying,” my voice is quiet, my body still rocking side to side. Her lips part slightly. “I didn’t want to disturb your bath, so I thought I would try and settle her.”
A soft gasp slips past her lips.
I turn to face her, walking slowly and delicately towards her, careful not to disturb Lainey as she shuffles down my chest.
She tightens the towel around her body and it wraps around her curves like a tailored dress. I force my greedy eyes away.
I shouldn’t be looking at her.
I shouldn’t be feeling the way I am.
Heart racing, palms sweaty and blood pumping around my body like fire coursing through my veins.
A step between us—maybe half—but I’m close to her. Sweetness fills my senses, daisies and honey swim around the room, and I can’t get enough of her, inhaling deeply trying to take as much of her scent in as I can.
I delicately try and scoop Lainey off my bare chest and hold her out for Dixie to take. Her ocean blue eyes widen, one hand still pinched at the top of her towel.
She stands helpless and I internally kick myself.
“Shit, of course,” I curse under my breath, turning and laying Lainey down in her crib instead. The urge to brush my fingertips through her soft brown hair is strong but I resist.
Standing tall, I walk towards the door, Dixie pushed against the wall trying to keep me at a distance. Giving her a soft nod, I push the handle down and disappear out of her room and straight into the bathroom.
My skin tingles when her scent is still floating around the bathroom. I shouldn’t feel like this. She hurt me.
Broke my heart into a thousand pieces.
Hate her for it.
Stripping my jeans off my tired legs, I drag myself under the shower and wash the day from my skin.
I needed my bed.
Tomorrow was the start of a new week.
The countdown to the funeral.
Five days to get through and then Dixie will be out of my life.
It’s just five days.
Five. Long. Tedious. Days.
And from tomorrow, we were going to be working together. I’m going to make sure Riggs puts her far away from me.
Her sad beautiful blue eyes are enough of a temptation to drag me back to her. I promised myself if she ever did return, I wouldn’t even spit on her if she was on fire.
Well, she’s back.
And I am not going to fall for her again.
I would keep that promise.
My alarm screams at five a.m. Hitting the top of the clock, I groan as I roll onto my back. Sunrise hasn’t quite peaked yet and if I can drag my ass out of my warm bed, I can have my coffee on the porch and watch as it greets the day.
Kicking my legs out, I twist and sit on the edge of the bed, scrubbing my face and the sound of my beard scratching against my skin has me realizing I need to shave. I’ve let my stubble grow a little longer than I normally would, and honestly, I am kind of feeling it. It’s been a shitty few weeks and me shaving has been the last thing on my mind.
Scrunching my toes into the rug that lay under my bed, I give myself another minute before I push up, raiding my closet before tiptoeing across the hallway. My wandering eyes drift to her bedroom and I see her door ajar.
Furrowing my brows, I keep moving towards the bathroom and get myself ready for the day.
Moving downstairs, I am the only one awake. Walking into the kitchen, I notice the coffee pot is warm. Crinkling the bridge of my nose, I reach up for my mug and place it under the spout, pushing the button and letting it heat up.
My fingertips drum on the countertop, the soft trickle of coffee the only other noise filling the large house.
Once done, I curl my fingers around the mug and move towards the front of the house and notice the door is already unbolted. My skin pricks and an uneasiness settles in my stomach.
I debate grabbing my dad’s shot gun from the cabinet in his office but decide against it and I am glad I did. As I edge out, I see Dixie sitting on the rocker, eyes closed, a soft hum vibrating through her. Lainey is wrapped in blankets as she nurses her.
I try to sneak back inside but bang my head on the doorframe, making it throb instantly.
“Tripp?” she calls softly, and I squeeze my eyes shut, an exasperated sigh leaving me.
“Yup,” my voice is full of gravel as I step out onto the deck. I don’t look at her, just fist my hand into my back pocket and look at the early morning sky. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, er… you know,” I dip my head and kick the toe of my boot into the wooden floor.
“You didn’t,” her voice breezes over me, “you can sit down…” she trails off and begins to hum softly once more.
I debate it.
I did want to watch the sunrise. It had been a while since I had been up and ready for five-thirty in the morning.
“Okay,” I sheepishly move towards where she is nursing Lainey, eyes not landing on her once.
Not my place. Kind of weird to watch her nurse her daughter, maybe if she was my own kid, wouldn’t be an issue.
I sit in the rocker, hot coffee in hand as my eyes cast down and I see her empty coffee up.
I didn’t think breastfeeding moms were supposed to drink coffee?
“I switched the coffee for decaf,” she springs on me mid hum as if she reads my mind, taking my mouthful of my coffee and my lips turn down slightly.
Didn’t taste any different.
“Why are you awake?” I ask, my eyes pinned forward to the pinky, orange sky.
“Couldn’t sleep. Lainey is teething. Thought if I was up this early, I may as well come and watch the sunrise.” Her voice is slow, lazy almost.
“You sound tired,” I observe, side eyeing as her hand gently rubs her daughter’s back.
“I’m okay,” her head rolls round to face me, a small smile pinching at the corner of her lips.
Silence coats us for a second.
“Why are you awake?”
I glance down at my coffee cup nestled in my lap.
“First proper day on the job, didn’t want to be late. Riggs will be here any minute. He normally gets up about four-thirty, gets to the ranch for five… but since being with Aspen he has become a little lazier.” I smirk, scoffing on a small laugh.
“Riggs, lazy? I doubt that,” she teases as she moves a snoozing Lainey.
The sun begins to peek over the mountains and the early morning wake up makes it worth it. The creak of the rocker pulls my eyes from the beautiful sunrise and Dixie is standing, Lainey nestled into her.
“See ya later,” she gives a soft smirk and I throw two fingers up, flicking my hand back at a half attempt to say see ya .
And just like that, I am alone with my heavy thoughts and my warm cup of coffee.
I needed to go over to Kelcie, needed to delve a little more into Dixie's connection with Clay and to find out just how deep it lies.
A sigh rattles from me as I see truck lights approach through the dusk. Riggs.
Pushing from the rocker, one hand folded into my jeans, the other wrapped around my empty mug. Something hits a little different when you drink a hot cup of coffee on the porch whilst watching the sunrise. I'm a simple man. I like the small things in life. The simple things.
Riggs parks the truck and jumps down with Ace in tow. He bolts down the field and Riggs whistles him back. Dog’s recall is on point.
“Morning sunshine,” his voice gruff as he lifts his cowboy hat from his head and rubs his hand over his curly hair.
“Morning,” I nod as he climbs the steps of the porch and walks into the house. I follow him just like Ace does.
He moves towards the coffee pot and pours himself a cup then twists, holding it out towards me and I place my cup under the teat as he pours me another cup full.
“How did you find getting up this morning?” He asks, lower back resting against the countertop as he takes a sip of his drink.
“Yeah fine, felt a little groggy at first but I was alright once I was up,” I admit, lifting my own cup to my lips and taking a mouthful.
“Your body clock will soon get used to it,” he throws a soft wink as Ace sniffs around the house.
“Sure it will,” and my voice rattles around the room.
“All okay?” he asks, head tipped slightly.
“I'm not sure,” I rub my hand across my stubble, tongue in cheek.
“Want to talk about it?”
I shrug one shoulder up. “I need to speak to Kelcie,” I finally say after a beat of silence or two.
“Nothing is going to change, Tripp,” Riggs offers a soft tone, fingers rubbing at his temples.
“I know, but I just want to know what his rationale is behind all of this. He is playing us, and I fucking fell straight into his hands.” I tip my head back for a moment and my chest aches.
“You wasn't to know he was playing you, none of us were...”
“I know,” I swallow the apple sized lump down, throat bobbing. My eyes settle on my big brother. “I just need to get Austin out of this mess.”
“By doing what?”
“Finding out who actually killed Clay.”
“You will never find out.”
“I beg to differ...”
I hear a throat being cleared behind me and my eyes close for a moment.
“Morning Dixie,” Riggs lifts his hat from his head as I turn to look at her. But his tone is not kind. It’s harsh. Sarcastic even.
He already thinks she is spying for the Attaways.
“Morning,” her voice is low, barely audible. Slowly looking at her over my shoulder, she shrinks as she walks past me and closer to Riggs.
He stands his ground for just a moment, arms folded across his chest.
She doesn't budge.
They are standing toe to toe.
She is tiny compared to Riggs, but she doesn't back down.
“What do you want to say Riggs? It's unlike you to bite your tongue or is it because you're settled down now? Aspen got your leash a little tight?” Dixie goads him, chin lifted, and I chuckle under my breath. Also a little turned on by her.
Riggs narrows his gaze, a rumble vibrating in his throat.
“I don't trust you,” his arms drop from his chest. Stepping one step closer to her and he towers over her. I'm not far off the height of Riggs, but for some reason, he has always felt taller.
“And why's that?”
“Because I think you're a snake,” his bold tone has her faltering slightly before her back stiffens.
“Why would I be a snake? I'm here to mourn my daughter’s dad. There is no ulterior motive...” she pauses a moment and I see the raise of Riggs' brow.
“You are back for something more...” realization slips past my lips as I step closer, “aren't you?”
She looks over her shoulder at me, brows dug into her forehead before she lets that hard-faced mask slip.
“I want to rinse them for every penny they have,” her voice is thick, her breath shuddering on its intake.
“Well...” Riggs breathes out, reaching behind him for a coffee then letting out a low whistle. “Seems Dixie is on our side after all.”
Her head snaps around as she shoves Riggs in the chest.
“I wouldn't go that far, I'm here to get his money for a better life for me and Lainey. Then I’ll be gone. I had no interest staying in Lovelock Bay ten years ago, I certainly do not have any interest now.” And for some reason her words sting a little more than I would like to admit. Slicing through me slowly, blood seeps out of the band aids I so delicately placed over my wounds.
“What's your plan then sweetheart?” Riggs asks her and I’m not going to lie, the sound off sweetheart rolling off his lips makes my blood boil a little.
I watch as her shoulders rise and fall with a heaving breath.
“You don't have one?” I ask, stepping a little closer to her just as she spins around to face me, eyes bouncing between me and my brother.
“No,” she whispers, defeat evident in her timid little voice.
“Then you better start spilling darlin' and we can try and help you,” Riggs lifts his eyes from her to me, then up to the soft ticking clock on the kitchen wall, “and we better get to work.” I watch as he sweeps his gaze over her. She is dressed in a cotton night dress, frilly hem and pretty frilled straps that sit over her shoulder and all I can think about is dusting my lips across the bare skin on her shoulders.
My lips twitch.
“Shit, yeah... I’ve just got to go change... and stuff.”
And stuff.
Lainey.
She needed to make sure everything was sorted for Lainey.
“Do what you need to do, we will meet you in the bunkhouse about eight...” I trail off and I can feel the way Riggs' eyes are burning into the side of my head.
Until this morning, I didn't know she breastfed. I mean, why would I.
She gives a soft nod then turns on her heel and disappears upstairs.
“This isn't going to work if you're going to make allowances for her,” Riggs grunts as my eyes trail after her, sighing, I face him.
“I'm not making allowances. She has a kid man, she breastfeeds... she can't just... stop.” I roll my lips and shake my head softly from side to side.
Riggs’ eyes widen slightly before softening.
“I didn't even think…”
“Well maybe use that big brain of yours.” I pat him on the shoulder, a chuckle breezing through my lips.
“Fuck off,” he grumbles before breaking into a smile.
“There it is,” I smirk, “such a pretty boy when you smile Riggs.”
Placing my cup into the sink, I turn on my heel and head for the door. “Coming?” I call out.
“Yeah,” and with a grunt, he is behind me, and we walk out towards the bunkhouse.
Sitting in the saddle of Bucky, a new American quarter horse, I look out at our land. Rivera Ranch. The green rolls for miles and I feel incredibly lucky to call this place my home. Pacey trots up beside me, lifting his cowboy hat and running his fingers through his messy blond hair before his hat lands back on his head.
“It's something right?” he is slightly breathless.
“It is,” I nod, loosening the reins for a moment on Bucky.
“You doing okay?” I look over at my kid brother, his skin weathered and tired. The weight of the world lays heavy on his shoulders.
“It's nice being back out doing something other than letting my mind wander with the what ifs...”
My chest aches.
“Yeah,” I rumble, watching as the cowboys and Riggs beat down towards us on the back of their horses.
“Wish I could do something,” he looks at me, I can see the pain radiating in his eyes.
“I know man, me too, me too.” We give each other a silent nod before turning the horses and kicking them on back towards the bottom field.
Time to move the cows out.
“Yeehaw!” Pacey shouts as we gallop towards the herd, Riggs closing in behind us and this right here, in this moment, everything felt okay.
Because I had my brothers at my side.
Riggs to the left. Pacey to the right.
It was a split second if anything, but it was still everything.