9. Divisions
nine
JAMES
When I get to the edge of the forest, I realize that I have no way out of here. I haven’t needed a car in months, so I had my brother take mine to keep it maintained. And since I stole one of the pack”s SUVs earlier, they have them guarded. Fuck. Can this day get any worse? I shake my head and start walking toward the city.
After a few minutes, I pull out my phone and dial Dec. When he answers, I wonder if someone has already told him what’s going on.
“What happened?” he starts.
“I need a ride. Can you come get me? I’m walking toward the city now,” I say, ignoring his question.
“Of course, I’ll come get you. But why are you walking? What happened? Is everything okay?” he assaults me with questions that I have no intention of answering. At least not right now.
“Just come get me, and we can talk about it. Please.” I won’t answer his questions, so he relents. Once I know he’s on his way, I hang up and continue walking. I’ll meet him halfway if I can. I just can’t stay here any longer.
I keep rubbing at the pain in my chest as I stumble down the dirt road that connects the edge of the city with the forest community. It’s a pretty well-kept secret, even if it seems obvious that it exists. I wouldn’t have even known this place existed if my brother wasn’t a vampire who controls a quarter of the city we live in.
All of this supernatural stuff is insane. Vampires and wolf shifters control the city, but most humans have no idea that they exist. And that there’s a community of wolf shifters and one of witches living in the forest right beside them. That’s not even considering the Fae community. I have no idea how to get there, so I’m not sure if they count as neighbors or not.
The further I get from Garnet, the worse I feel. I’m sweating and shivering, hot and cold at the same time. Maybe I’m getting sick. I’ll have to get checked out after Dec picks me up. What was I thinking getting involved with this mess?
Relief washes over me as I see my car speeding toward me. I step into the grass on the side of the road and wait for my brother to stop. He streaks past me, and for a moment I worry that he didn’t see me. A few minutes later, the car pulls up behind me and stops.
“Get in,” he orders, stepping out of the car for a second before dropping back in. I rush to the passenger side and climb in before he puts it in drive and races down the dirt road.
“What’s the big rush?” I ask, puzzled at this new development.
“We’ve been under attacks from witches for the past few days. I figured you needed backup and that’s why you were calling. We have to get back fast to protect Delilah,” he explains.
LUCA
Trevan gets close to Red, checking out the ice that encompasses her entire body, except her face. I have no idea how she’s even still breathing. The ice is holding her in place, and preventing her from speaking.
“I think this is a magical malfunction. I’m not sure what I can do to reverse it.” He turns his back to her and faces the rest of us. “Tell me what happened before this, and I’ll see what I can come up with.”
We explain about James breaking the bond and her reaction, then how it changed. The whole time, I watch her face. Red’s expression doesn’t change much because of the ice, but I can see the pain in her eyes.
“So, if she’s blocking the pain in order to move past it, could that be what’s frozen her?” I ask, my eyes locked with hers.
Trevan nods. “That is a possibility. I’ll see if I can thaw her a little, but I doubt I can make the ice go away if it’s there because she doesn’t want to deal with her emotions. There may only be one way to remove it.”
“We’ll do whatever we have to in order to save her,” Ryland insists. I’m worried that it won’t be up to us to do anything to save her, and that she’ll make the wrong decision. What happens if she decides that losing James is too much to bear and she doesn’t fight?
“Dear one, I need you to help me. Use your magic to warm your head. We’ll start where the ice is the thinnest and work our way down. Okay?” Trevan speaks to Red, but her eyes are full of questions, as if she has no idea who this man is or what he’s talking about.
“What if she can’t?” I say, considering my thoughts out loud. “What if she’s blocking the pain so fully that she doesn’t remember things that she should?”
“You think she could have given herself amnesia?” Orym asks, stepping closer. I shrug. It’s just a thought, but I felt compelled to say it to everyone.
“That could have catastrophic repercussions. Let’s do what we can and deal with this one step at a time.” Worry creases his brow as he focuses on melting the ice that surrounds Red’s head.
“What can we do to help?” Ryland takes a step closer then stops, not wanting to get in the way. I’m wondering the same thing, because we don’t have magic, and I need to do something to help.
“Just give me space to thaw her out. Have blankets and towels ready, just in case she can’t get to her magic right away. I fear this is worse than I expected.” His somber response kicks us into motion. Ryland heads to the bathroom and grabs towels, Orym gathers every blanket in the cabin, and I move to the fireplace to start a fire.
We will thaw her out one way or another. I hope.
GARNET
Did he say I have magic? Everything gets hazy, and I’m even more confused than I was a little while ago. I still don’t feel cold, but is that connected to what he’s saying? If I have magic, and I did this, I should be able to make it stop. How does a broken wolf shifter have magic, though? None of this makes sense. This guy is going to have a lot of explaining to do when I get out of this mess.
I close my eyes and think warm thoughts. I’m not sure I believe his claims that I have magic or that I did this to myself. And even if I did, I have no idea how to fix it. After a few minutes of trying to melt the ice, I give up. This guy is insane if he thinks I can create or melt ice. I hope I get the chance to tell him just that.
How dare he come in here and tell my family that I have powers? What is he trying to do? Anger ripples up my spine, and I embrace the feeling. More than anything, I want to find out what happened to cause this, and I want to corner this man who seems to have answers. He may even know why I can’t shift. Maybe he has a way to break the curse.
“Step back, she’s starting to glow,” the man says, gesturing for everyone to get away from me. My body warms and tingles, as if I’m sitting on the bank near the waterfall in the sunshine. Everything goes dark, then a bright red light takes over the darkness. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly to block it out.
The light grows more intense, and I cover my eyes with my hands. Wait, how did that happen? He must have found a way to melt the ice. When the light finally subsides, I lower my hands slowly. I’m not sure when I hit the floor, but everything hurts now.
There’s a sharp pain in my chest, and I rub at it as I try to stand up. My legs won’t hold me, so I drop back down onto the floor. Ry wraps a towel around me, then Orym follows with a blanket. Luca brings me a cup of my favorite tea.
“Are you hungry? Do you need anything else?” Luca asks. I can feel his concern along our bond, but I don’t understand the intensity of it. He’s worried about more than just that block of ice.
I shake my head, not trusting my voice yet. I’m wet, and should be cold, but I’m still not. I glance around the room and realize that the fire is probably why I’m not chilled.
“Will you let us help you get into dry clothes?” Ry asks. He’s hesitant and I don’t understand why. Normally, they’d all take any opportunity to get me naked without reservations. I nod, and Orym scoops me up from the floor. Once we’re in the bedroom, Ry peels my wet clothes off of me, and Orym dries me with another towel while Luca digs out some comfy clothes for me to put on.
Dry and dressed, I feel a little more myself. “What is going on here?” I finally find my voice to ask.
“What do you mean, Red?” Luca asks. I hate that it feels like they’re keeping something from me. I sigh, exasperated.
“Why are you all looking at me like I’ve grown a second head? And who is the guy with Grammy? I thought you said my father was coming. Where’s Gunnar?” I blurt it all out at once, and they gape at me. What the fuck is going on here?
“You don’t remember anything that’s happened recently?” Ry asks, taking my hand and easing me onto the bed.
“Of course I do. The four of us are fated mates, and—”
“The four of us? What about James?” Orym cuts me off with his question.
“James? Dec’s brother? What does he have to do with this?” I feel like maybe I have forgotten something important. But I don’t want to admit that, because they all look worried enough as it is. I continue to rub at the pain in my chest. For some reason, when Orym mentions James, it gets worse.
“Oh, shit. This is worse than we thought.” Luca and Ry exchange a look, then Luca rushes toward the living room.
“Would one of you please explain what the fuck is going on here? Apparently, I’m lost and don’t understand things. I need answers. Now,” I growl.
Both men hold their hands up in surrender. I glare at them, but neither responds to my question. Fury bubbles inside me, and I clench my fists as I stand up.
Ry and Orym pull me away from the bed as flames appear, cocooning my hands and running up my arms. The pain in my heart is forgotten as fear takes over. I’m on fire, and I have no idea how, or why it’s not burning me.
“Keep her away from the furniture,” the strange man says as he walks into our bedroom. Who is this guy? “You’re going to need to take a deep breath. Once you’re calm, the flames will subside. We need that to happen before you burn the cabin down.”
With my jaw clenched, I do as he instructs, shocked when things happen exactly as he said they would. The flames coating my arms rescind, and I stare at my hands as if they’re some alien substance that might attack me at any moment.
I fight the tears that threaten to fall. “Will someone please explain what is happening here? I’m losing my mind.” I drop carefully to the floor, hoping the flames don’t come back. Wrapping my arms around myself, I stare up at the people surrounding me.
Grammy sits down next to me and pulls me into her arms.
RYLAND
Watching Red cry as Grammy holds her nearly breaks my heart. I don’t understand why she suddenly has memory loss, but we need to fix this so that we can defeat Amber. With our deadline approaching faster than we’d expected, we have no time to waste.
“What can we do?” I ask Trevan, expecting him to have some idea of what’s going on.
“Luca filled me in on what she seems to have forgotten or blocked out. I fear that James breaking the mate bond has damaged her emotionally and she’s managed to block out any memory that involves him.” Trevan’s explanation makes sense, but I don’t like it.
“That doesn’t answer the question, Fae. Can you fix her?” Orym demands, stepping closer and intimidating our guest. I move between them and ease Orym back.
“We can’t blame Trevan for this. It’s not his fault. We have to figure this out together. If you can’t refrain from violence, take a walk.” I give the order with a little extra alpha influence to be sure that Orym will listen. He’s nearly as strong as I am, and sometimes we butt heads.
Instead of arguing with me, Orym closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. James walking away hasn’t just affected Garnet. I feel it too.”
I pull him in for a hug. “Same here. We can’t let that get to us, though.” A thought occurs to me, and I turn to Trevan without letting Orym go. “Could this be something that Amber did to James? Making him believe that Red wanted him to leave and that we were all better off without him?”
Trevan tilts his head to the side, considering. “I suppose that’s possible. She could have been using the love potion as a distraction for the real attack. That would also explain why it was so easy to break through that magic.”
Knowing what happened isn’t going to fix Red, but it will help us to figure out our next steps. “Is there a way to bring her memories back?” Luca kneels on the floor next to Grammy and Red. He pulls them both into his arms and holds them protectively.
“If she breaks through this block on her emotions, her memories may return. I don’t know of a way to force the issue,” Trevan explains. We all look expectantly at Red. Will she agree to this? Does she even know how to lower the barrier she put up to hold back her emotions?
“Let’s start by explaining a few things, and see how she reacts,” I offer, turning to Red. “Red, does that sound okay to you?” When she nods, I start explaining how after she bonded with me, she and James accidentally sealed their bond. Luca jumps in and explains about me challenging Gunnar with her encouragement. By the time we’re finished telling her our story, she looks horrified.
“I’m not sure I want to remember any of that. It all sounds terrifying.”
OYRM
“It may sound scary, but I guarantee that facing Amber without knowing all of it would be way worse,” I suggest. The look Garnet gives me is uncertain. I understand why she feels this way, and I want more than anything to fix it. I just don’t know how.
“If facing the emotional turmoil created by James leaving is the only way to fix Red’s memories, shouldn’t we be discussing that?” Luca asks, releasing Garnet when she tries to stand and step away from him.
“I don’t remember being mated to James, so I don’t know how I would possibly be able to do that. Can’t we just move forward with the plan to fight Amber? It sounded like we were making progress there before all of this mess happened.” Her insistent tone tugs at my heart. I want to pull her into my arms and kiss her until all of this goes away. It won’t help, so I don’t try.
She starts to pace, still avoiding talking about James and facing her feelings. “We just need a plan of attack, and we can go after her first. If I can defeat her quickly, then we can move on with our lives.”
“That’s an interesting plan, but what if this emotional block fucks with your magic again?” Ryland offers. “I’m not being mean, just asking the obvious question here.”
Garnet growls at him, then pouts and returns to pacing. “Well, we can’t force you to talk about James or to feel the things you don’t want to. But you need to consider what could happen if you don’t. If we’re in the middle of a fight with Amber, and your magic backfires, you could get injured or worse.” At my statement, she stops and stares at me.
“Amber has already made it clear that she plans to kill you so she can take your powers. We have to stop her. Which means we need you at one hundred percent. So, what can we do to help you consider what we’re asking?” Luca takes a step closer before she turns and glares at him.
“I don’t want to think about James. I don’t want to hurt. How do I make that any more clear to you?” She rubs at her chest again, and I’m certain that’s the broken bond manifesting itself physically.
“What’s that?” I ask, gesturing to where her hand rubs at her sternum.
“Just a pain that doesn’t wanna go away. I’m sure it’s nothing,” she insists, continuing to rub at it. I share a look with Ryland and Luca, then continue.
“Do you want to know what that pain is? Because I can tell you,” I say, reaching a hand out to her. I want her to let us help her with this, but she isn’t willing to cooperate. I know that Ryland wants to force her to feel, and Luca wants to beg her. That leaves me to use reasoning and understanding to get through to her.
GARNET
I stare at Orym’s outstretched hand. “I’m scared. Of course, I know the pain has to be from this broken bond you keep talking about. I don’t want to face it. As bad as this hurts, I don’t want it to get worse. Please. I can’t.”
The admission costs me, because now they know that I’m not as invincible as I was pretending to be. I can tell from Orym’s face that he already knew that I’m scared. I gingerly place my hand in his and let him pull me into his arms.
I bury my face in his chest and focus on our connection. His strength helps to reign in my fear and bolster me. “You won’t be doing it alone. We’ll face it together. You just have to agree. Ryland, Luca, and I aren’t going anywhere,” Orym tells me.
“As long as you all promise not to leave me.” I can’t fight them. I give in, feeling overwhelmed and sad. I know it’s going to get worse before it gets better, and I am not looking forward to that.
“We’re right here with you, Red,” Ry reassures me.
I turn to the man they claim is my father. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you. I trust my mates, and they say you’re my father and you can help. I don’t really understand any of this. Will you help us?”
Trevan smiles at me. “My darling daughter, I would do anything to help you. We should probably take this out into the clearing, though. Just in case your magic goes a little haywire.” His suggestion scares me a little, but I nod. Outside would be better than risking hurting someone or ruining our home.
Once we’re all outside in the clearing, far enough away from the cabin to be safe, we all look to Trevan again. “Now you just have to focus on James and open yourself to remembering. It may work better if you three make a circle around her, holding hands.” He waits for us to do as he instructs.
“Very good. Now, dear one, place your hands on top of their joined ones. Good, very good. Yes, this could work. Don’t fight the emotions; let them wash over you. With them should come the memories.”
I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I hear my mates do the same, though I’m not sure if they’re staring at me or if they’ve closed their eyes. Against my eyelids, I see a variety of bright colors come and go. I hold tightly to their hands as the pain lances through my chest. I start to fight it, then remember that if I want this to work, I can’t. I have to accept it and acknowledge it.
The pain stabs me again, and I hear a sharp intake of breath. My mates feel it too. I wonder if I should let go of their hands so that they don’t suffer too, but I can’t. I need their strength, even if it’s selfish.
As the pain courses through me, I see flashes of memory. “It’s working,” I whisper. More flashes of memory come with every intense slice of pain in my chest. I feel as if I’m breathing through sand, and my heart is pounding so hard it might explode.
Throbbing starts at the base of my neck and pulses up through my head. At this rate, I’m not sure if I will survive this pain, or the memories it’s returning to me. I see everything. Ry’s challenge of Gunnar and his subsequent takeover of the territory. Then James’ injury and our time in the Fae realm.
Time skips around, and I see my first kiss with James, then the moment I learned that I’m not a wolf shifter after all. Just when I think it’s all too much and I can’t take it, the images stop.
The pain intensifies, and I can feel my heart being ripped into pieces. At that moment, I hear James’ words. I see the pain in his eyes as he tells me that he’s leaving. When he insists that I’m better off without him, my heart shatters. Again. I remember everything now, including how I managed to push my feelings down and lock them away.
I could do it again, but that won’t help anyone. So, I don’t. Instead, I focus on the love that I felt for James before he destroyed the bond. I use that feeling to help me stay strong through this agony. When I look into his eyes, I hear that voice again. At first, I thought it was my voice. But it’s not.
It wasn’t my voice. Wait, was James hearing that voice too? Is that why he destroyed my heart? Tears streaming down my face, I open my eyes and look at the men surrounding me. “I know what happened. I don’t know how she did it, but Amber is behind this. She wants to weaken me. Ripping this bond away will do that. It has done that. We need to find James and fix this.”
Luca, Ry, and Orym stare at me. It takes me a minute to figure out why. There are flames circling my left arm, and a ring of water around my right arm. Vines wrap around my right leg, and what looks like a small tornado rings my left leg. I’ve never seen anything like it.
“Are you okay?” Ry asks, clearly worried about my magic manifesting that way.
“It’s not hurting me. I remember everything.” I reach for my magic and all four elements disappear from my limbs. “I can control it again. I’m sorry for scaring you all. I couldn’t deal with James leaving, and I blocked it all out. It won’t happen again.”
“You have to lean on us when things go wrong, Red,” Luca scolds me like I’m a misbehaving child. I grin at him.
“I know. You’re right. Don’t get used to hearing that.”