10. Waiting
ten
LUCA
I know that Red is okay when she tells me not to get used to hearing that I’m right. I drag her into my arms and kiss her. Red’s arms wrap around my neck and I think she’s holding on, but in reality, she’s reaching for Orym and Ryland. It catches me off guard but doesn’t upset me. She needs all of us, James included.
Now that we know this was all Amber’s doing, even if we don’t understand how, we can find a way to fix it. “So, what do we say to James to get him to come back?” I ask as Ryland kisses Red.
I turn toward Trevan, realizing that it should be awkward for us to be making out with his daughter in front of him. It’s not, but it should be. He doesn’t seem to notice, deep in conversation with Grammy. They keep it in hushed tones, but it’s impossible to miss the connection there. I would have picked up on it sooner or later. Luckily, they’re not hiding it anymore.
Orym clears his throat, and the Fae man finally looks at us. “Oh, that was directed at me. I didn’t realize.” Trevan’s cheeks go pink and he takes a step away from the elder wolf. “I believe that speaking with him about this matter may be enough. Perhaps if he knows the truth, he will decide to return.”
“I don’t know if that will repair the bond, though,” Grammy adds. That was what I was worried about. If we want Red at her best, she needs the bond connections with all four of us. We need James in order to win this. I just hope it’s not too late.
“So, we have to figure out where he’d go,” Ryland says, holding Red to his side.
“There’s only one place,” Orym insists. “He let his apartment go, so he would have called his brother.”
“We need to talk to Dec.” I pull out my phone and dial, then wait a couple of rings for him to answer. When he doesn’t, I leave a short voicemail asking him to call back. “No answer. I wonder if that means James is with him and doesn’t want to talk to us.”
“Or something is wrong and they can’t answer,” Red says, fear marring her features. I hate that she’s worried about James, and that Amber caused all of this. I want to rip the bitch’s heart out for what she’s done to the people I love. Since I can’t do that, I have to make do with helping Red prepare to take her out.
And that means finding James. “We could head to Midnight and see if he’s there. If nothing else, Delilah will talk to you, Red.” I can’t come up with a better idea, but I’m not sure this one will work. I’m hoping that they won’t throw us out the moment we get there. We don’t know what James has told them, though.
RYLAND
Luca’s idea isn’t bad, but things may not be as complicated as he expects. The crew at Midnight have always been our allies, especially since Kayden was one of us until Gunnar tossed him out. There’s no reason to think that they won’t welcome us.
“Let’s get moving, then. It’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve spoken with them. There may be more going on than we know,” I offer, nudging everyone toward the path that will take us to the SUV. I’m pretty good at tracking, and can tell that this is the way James came.
We pile into the SUV, leaving Grammy and Trevan behind. They promise to call if James comes back or if anything happens. I put the car in drive and head toward the city. My thoughts are swirling inside my head. There are a lot of reasons for Dec not to answer.
I glance over my shoulder to Orym. “Call Vik and see if he answers. Luca, try Eli.” I keep our speed steady as they dial and hang up a moment later.
“Vik didn’t answer,” Orym says.
“Eli neither,” Luca adds.
“That tells me it’s got to be something bigger than our little family drama.” I look at Red in the passenger seat. “Don’t worry, love, we’ll get this all straightened out.”
She nods at me, and I can see the unshed tears in her eyes. I want to take her pain and fear away, but I can’t. It’s killing me. Knowing that no one at Midnight is answering their phones, I speed up and make a bee line for the club. It’s early enough that they shouldn’t be open yet, but everyone should be awake. I doubt they go to bed in the middle of the afternoon, anyway.
We pull up to the club, and I immediately recognize the problem. “Amber’s got witches attacking them. That’s why they didn’t answer. They’re a little busy.”
“We have to help them,” Red insists. I nod. I would have suggested it myself, but I was busy trying to find a place to park where the witches won’t see us coming.
“Sneaking up is our best option. But how do we do that? They’ve got the building surrounded,” Orym says as I turn the corner and park at a convenience store.
“If we use the back alley, I can try to cloak us by combining my witch magic with my Fae magic,” Red suggests. It’s not something she’s ever done, and I don’t know if it will work, but it’s the best chance we have.
“Do you think you can do it?” I ask, turning to look at her.
She shrugs. “I think it’s the only chance we have. I’ll try for camouflage, to make us blend in with our surroundings. Trevan thinks I have all of these powers for a reason. Let’s see if I can use that for my needs.”
I kiss her hard, then climb out of the SUV.
GARNET
I’ve never tried to combine different magics before and have no idea if this will work. No. It has to work. James is in danger, as are our friends. They’re powerful, sure, but there are a lot of witches attacking here and there’s no way they can take them all out.
I, on the other hand, have a chance. As a last resort, I can use the spell I worked on before. It basically turns me into a bomb that will target specific types of supernatural. I can sense that the people attacking Midnight are witches, so I can make sure it takes them out. I just can’t guarantee it won’t blow up the bar while I’m at it.
“Give me a second, then we’ll move,” I say as I close my eyes and focus on what I’m trying to do. Trevan told me it’s as simple as telling my magic what I want. I’m going to test that now. I concentrate on making a shield that will surround us and hide us from view. It will look like the alley while protecting us from stray magic attacks.
“Okay, stay close and move quickly,” I command. It’s not my place to tell them what to do, but Ry lets me anyway. Probably because I’m supposed to protect them, and they love me. Both are good motivators.
I’m determined to protect them while we’re out in the open. More than that, I’m focused on making sure we get to the building undetected. We move as a unit, staying as close as possible while still able to run. I feel a few spells bounce off the shield, but it holds. The moment the foreign magic hits, I stumble.
Ry scoops me up and keeps running. “Don’t lose focus. Keep the bubble up. It’s working,” he whispers in my ear as he runs. Once we make it to the door, I realize that we never considered how to get inside.
As if they were waiting for us, the door swings open at our approach, and Dec motions for us to hurry. “Get in here, come on.”
When the door closes, Ry sets me on my feet. “How did you see us?” I ask, curious about his ability to see through my magic.
“I didn’t. I watched their attacks bouncing off of some invisible force, and figured it had to be either reinforcements or a sneak attack.”
His explanation makes sense. “But what made you decide to welcome us in?” Orym asks, equally skeptical about Dec’s story.
“I did. I can still sense Garnet, and I told him it was you.” James steps out of the shadows and my heart leaps. I can’t speak, locking eyes with his.
“We need to talk to you, but that can wait until we deal with these witches,” Ry says to James, speaking for me because he knows I can’t. James nods in response before turning and walking away. His lack of emotion pisses me off even if part of me understands it.
He’s doing what I did and blocking the pain out. As much as I want to talk to him, I know it has to wait. My heart aches as he walks away from me again.
“I think I can take them all out, but I might damage the building,” I offer. “I don’t want to destroy your home.”
“They’re doing a pretty good job of that already,” Dec says, gesturing to where magic has knocked down bricks and shattered windows. This place is usually pretty well protected, but it looks like these attacks have been going on for a while.
“How long have they been out there?” Luca asks.
“Two or three days now. We’re running on very little sleep and we’re low on supplies. I was barely able to make it out to pick James up.” He pauses and looks at me. “He still won’t tell me what happened. I hope you can work it out.” His concern for me in the midst of his brother’s refusal to explain touches me.
“I hope so too,” I respond. “But we have to focus on defeating these witches right now, and worry about that later.” I know what I need to do, I’m just not sure that I can do it without James. He was the one who helped me control my magic enough to make this work the first time. Before I had his help, I almost killed Delilah with it.
I make my decision and refuse to back down. “I’m going out there. I can stop them without anyone else getting hurt.”
Ry, Luca, and Orym shake their heads. “You can’t go out there alone.” It’s James’ voice that echoes in my ears though. I turn to face him, realizing that he hadn’t gone very far after all.
“I have to. Your brother and his family don’t deserve to suffer just because my nutjob aunt decided that she wants to make a hybrid army, and she thinks that she needs Delilah’s blood to do it. I’ve got this,” I respond, finally feeling confident that I do have this under control.
“At least let me go with you. I think I know what you’re planning, and you’ll need me to keep you grounded so you don’t destroy the entire block,” James says, his voice softer now.
My heart races at the thought of being close to him again. I want this more than I want to breathe, but I know it’s not going to last. He’s not offering to come back to me. He’s offering to help me defeat his brother’s enemies, who just happen to be mine as well. But I’m selfish and I’ll take whatever I can get from him.
I nod. “Okay, but you have to stay close so I can protect you from their attacks.” It’s another ploy to be near him, and I’m sure he knows it. But he agrees without argument, and he takes my hand as we move toward the door.
ORYM
I don’t want to let Garnet go out there, much less with only James as her support. But there’s no other option, and I know she can do this. There’s just something about asking your mate to detonate herself like a bomb that seems strange to me. I can’t even be mad that James wants to be the one who goes with her. He’s been her rock when it comes to all things magic.
That’s not to say that Ryland, Luca, and I haven’t tried. James just took charge of that part as a way to bond with her, since we’ve all known her longer. I think that’s why we didn’t fight too hard to be included. They needed something just between the two of them.
But with him breaking the bond, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust him again. I understand that it was Amber’s fault. I just can’t get past the pain he put Garnet in. And the rest of us only felt a fraction of it. I’ll never figure out how Garnet is able to push past that pain and let him help her so easily.
From the look on her face, it may not be so easy for her either. I feel her uncertainty along our bond. Something is missing and her soul is reaching out to find it. Absentmindedly, I rub my chest in the same spot that she does. Then I glance around and realize that all five of us are doing it at the same time. James realizes and stops, his cheeks turning red.
Ryland insists on discussing Garnet’s plan before he agrees to let them go outside. He steps in front of the door to stop them. Of course, she’s pissed about it, but we all understand his concern. He wants to be sure that James won’t leave her side, no matter what happens.
“Ry, please. We don’t need to talk this to death. Just let me go out there and blow these witches up,” Garnet insists. Her frustration is clear, but he’s not backing down.
Ryland shakes his head. “Not until I’m sure he isn’t going to abandon you when you need him.”
James steps closer to Ryland. “I get why you can’t trust me now, but I’m not going to leave her. I’ll stay with her until this is done. I love her just like you do.”
My alpha growls. “No, you don’t. If you loved her like I do, you wouldn’t have destroyed her heart by leaving. Now we have to put the pieces back together that you tore apart. So, don’t try to tell me that you love her the same as we do.”
Pain scrunches James’ features. Dec grabs Ryland’s arm and pulls him away from them. “We need to let them do this. You all can work out your issues once Midnight is safe.”
Garnet nods and pulls James out the door without hesitation. I hope they can do this.
JAMES
Ryland’s mistrust and harsh words hurt me. Not nearly as much as I’ve hurt Garnet, so I understand his point. I deserve so much worse. I never want to hurt her; I just can’t get past my feelings of inferiority. How can a mere human compete with alpha wolves and other supernatural creatures?
Garnet grips my hand as we walk out into the alley. I’m not sure exactly where she’s planning to do this, but I know we shouldn’t be this close to the building. It’s not safe for anyone to be this close, even if she’s figured out how to control the blast.
“Where are we going?” I ask, tugging on her hand to slow her down a little.
“We have to get them to follow us. I need more room. I don’t want to destroy Midnight. May not have a choice, though.” Her response is clipped as she shoots magical attacks at different groups of witches as we pass.
I notice that she’s keeping a shield up around us too. That doesn’t stop me from flinching when a blast of blue energy hits it right in front of my face. I’m a little gun-shy since that last fight where I got hit in the leg and nearly died.
“It’s okay. They aren’t strong enough to get through my shield. It’s Fae powered, not witch magic.” She smirks at me and keeps moving, dragging me along with her.
“You figured out how to combine them? That’s fantastic. I know you were frustrated when Trevan suggested it before.” Her face scrunches for a minute, then relaxes. I hit a nerve, discussing our time in the Fae realm. I shouldn’t be here with her right now. It should be one of the others.
“I’m sorry,” I say, trying to pull my hand from hers. “I shouldn’t have come with you.”
She stops in the middle of the alley, refusing to let go of my hand. “Why? What did I do to make you think you aren’t enough?”
“You didn’t do anything. It’s me. I’m just a human. I can’t protect you, or myself. There’s nothing I can do to help you win this battle with Amber.”
“Then why did you volunteer to come with me for this?” She stares at me, forcing me to consider my actions.
“Because you need someone to help you focus,” I say, not understanding what she’s trying to tell me.
“And you felt like you were the best person to help me focus?” She’s leading this conversation somewhere and I’m not sure I like it.
“Yeah. We’ve done this maneuver so many times, and I was always the one who helped you concentrate and focus.” I feel like I’m defending myself against something, but I can’t figure out what.
“If you are the best person to help me focus, then that means you’re not useless or less than just because you’re human. Now you have to admit that those thoughts may not have been your own.”
GARNET
This is clearly not the time or place for us to have this out, but here we are. I don’t want to fight with James, because I’m not sure I can stop him from running off if he decides to. The thought of losing him again hurts, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to walk away this time.
“What do you mean, they weren’t my thoughts?” he asks, confusion crinkling his brow.
“I mean, Amber got in our heads. She needed to push us apart to weaken me. It wasn’t just you. She got to me as well. But they wouldn’t let her win.” I gesture back to the door we came out of.
“So, you never thought I was less because I’m human?” he asks. I wish he hadn’t, but I can’t ignore the question hanging between us.
“I’ve never thought you were less. I have, however, tried to come up with ways to protect you because you’re human. Not because you’re less capable or less strong, but because you don’t have the same natural defenses as the rest of us.”
“But that’s what I’m talking about. That’s what makes me less,” he insists. I shake my head.
“We really don’t have time for this right now,” I say, shooting purple magic at one of the witches who’s trying to sneak up behind us. “I need to detonate and take these bitches out. Can we come back to this conversation after?”
I don’t care if he says yes or no; we will discuss this later. I will make sure of it. I can’t let it go, not when I know he still loves me. I have no idea if our bond can be repaired or not, but I don’t care. I want James to be part of my family, and I’m not giving up on him yet.
“Sure, sorry,” he offers and dips his head. I want to scream at how submissive he’s being right now, but there’s no time to react. I have to focus on what’s happening right now, or our people are goners.
We lead the witches out into the street in front of Midnight, where four more groups ambush us. I pretend to be shocked, but really, I’m thrilled. They’ve clumped up better than I could have planned. It should be easy to detonate myself and take them all out. I just have to focus.
As the witches surround us, I can feel James’ nerves, even without a mate bond. “It’s okay; this is all going according to plan. Just act scared,” I whisper to him, not letting go of his hand.
“That’ll be pretty easy,” he responds with a slight chuckle. “You need to focus and stay grounded.”
I nod at his recommendation. I will do what I have to, then we’ll get back to our conversation. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I hear his gasp and know that I must be starting to glow. “Close your eyes, James.” I don’t look at him, keeping my eyes closed tightly and focusing on the point where our hands meet.
He was right; it had to be him to come with me. No one else could make me feel this grounded or focused. I hate admitting that, but at least I didn’t say it out loud. I feel the magic swell around me, growing and pulsing with its desire to be set free.
James gasps again as the magic pulses. One more deep breath, then I push the blast out around us, targeting each group of witches that surrounds us. I don’t want to kill them, but I can’t hold the magic back. I open my eyes to see puddles of muck where each witch had been standing.
Shock takes hold, and I’m weighted down with so much guilt for the lives my magic has taken. My breath hitches and I start to collapse. Strong arms hold me tightly to a broad chest. James. James is here with me. Tears stream down my cheeks.
“Garnet, look at me,” he encourages. I shake my head. I can’t look at him. If I do, I’ll see the disappointment and fear in his eyes. There’s no way he could still love me after what I’ve just done.
James turns me to face him and lifts my chin, so our eyes meet. “You did what you had to in order to protect all of us. It’s not your fault that your magic did more than knock them out. I know you weren’t trying to kill anyone. This is Amber’s fault, not yours.”
I want to believe him, but I’m not sure that I can. How could my magic do this if it wasn’t my intention? I shake my head again and he stops me, one hand on either side of my face, forcing me to look at him. Our eyes meet, and my heart jumps in my chest. James presses his lips to mine, kissing me so tenderly, so sweetly, that I can almost forget the gaping hole in my heart from where our bond used to be.
My arms wrap around him on their own, and he deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue between my lips to tangle with mine. I wish I could be strong enough to push him away. But I’m weak and I let myself drown in his affection.
His hands move from my face to my body, and he holds me to him. I can feel his erection against my stomach. I want nothing more than for him to rip my clothes off and fuck me right here in the middle of the street. But I know that he won’t. He won’t even keep kissing me. I know I’m right when he pulls away a moment later.
“You did it,” he whispers, pressing his forehead to mine.
“I did, but at what cost?” I ask, closing my eyes as more tears fall. I feel so alone now.