Chapter 15
N atalie
Late November
I don’t speak as Alex carefully walks me out to his truck, refusing to acknowledge how he’s handling me like precious cargo. He’s worried, that much I know. But I can’t tell much more. He wears a mask much of the time, choosing what he wants those around him to see. The only time I’ve seen him drop his facade was in my apartment. Other than that, he’s closed off, or pissed at me.
Our drive to the hospital takes twice as long due to snow-packed roads, and I’m secretly relieved I crashed the Santo family Thanksgiving, because I hate driving in the snow. I’ve never been a fan of it, but ever since Arianna and Stone were involved in a horrific crash around Christmas a few years ago, I’m even more paranoid. Eternity Springs doesn’t have a full twenty-four-hour hospital, and we have to head closer to Denver to get to one. I can see how tightly Alex grips the steering wheel, and I turn my head to cast a quick glance at him. His jaw is clenched, lips pursed, and his entire body is tense. Every few seconds his body slightly twitches, and I wonder what is going on.
“Are you okay?” I whisper.
“I should be asking you that,” he responds wryly.
“Well, I keep seeing you twitch.”
He sighs. “My phone keeps buzzing in my pocket. I know it’s my entire family asking questions.”
“Do you think they all know now?” I ask quietly.
“I’m assuming so. I’ll admit, I told Dom right before you got there. Obviously my parents knew, and now Travis knows. The Santo family gossip mill probably took care of the rest.”
When my phone buzzes in my pocket, I pull it out to see a text from Arianna, along with an attachment.
Arianna: Brace yourself. No clue how, but the gossip website in town already got the scoop about your bundle in the oven.
Me: You have got to be kidding!
Arianna: Sorry, girl. Dom is pissed. Now he knows it’s someone associated with the hotel, and he’s ready to lay down the law. Kate had to convince him not to fire everyone on the spot.
Me: Shit, Ari. I hadn’t told my boss yet. My parents don’t know. This is bad.
Arianna: Honestly, I’m surprised they waited this long for the article. They’ve been sitting on a picture of you and Alex together on a sidewalk. I’m guessing the night he walked you home?
Me: Hold on. I need to read this.
“Alex,” I murmur as I open the attachment, “That stupid gossip website here posted an article about us.”
“Fuck,” he mutters. “Read it aloud, please.”
Another one bites the dust!
When Eternity Springs Elementary School hired seasoned teacher Natalie Jackson, a best friend of Arianna Santo Dixon, we knew it was only a matter of time before Ms. Jackson snagged herself an eligible bachelor from Eternity Springs. But even we’re shocked that she’s roped in Alex Santo. Our favorite military hero (tied with his brother Leo, of course) had been pining in grief for his lovely wife, Sara, who perished in a deadly car accident five years ago, and we assumed Mr. Santo would never date again. Imagine our surprise to find out Ms. Jackson scored herself a hottie by getting knocked up! That’s right, Eaglets, Ms. Jackson is pregnant with Alex’s third child. Sources tell us she’s already in her second trimester. The same sources say this is strictly a co-parenting relationship, but we’re taking bets on how long it’ll be before Alex slaps a ring on her to mark his territory. Any takers?
“Fucking hate that website,” Alex hisses.
“Who runs the damn thing? Can we force them to take it down?” I ask.
“We don’t know who runs it. Every time we’ve told them to take down an article or blind item, they’ve just posted more.”
“Arianna said Dom is pissed. To get the news up there that fast means it came from inside Everlasting.”
“Shit,” Alex swears. “I didn’t think of that.”
“I hadn’t told my boss yet,” I confess .
“What?” Alex asks incredulously. “Why not?”
“I don’t really know. My focus was on telling you, and then I was focused on telling my parents this weekend. But now I’m stuck here, and I can’t exactly tell them over the phone, so I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Snow’s supposed to end after midnight. I’m sure you can get home tomorrow or Saturday. Greeley, right?”
“Yeah. I think I was secretly relieved to have more time before I had to tell them. They aren’t exactly monks, but they’re pretty conservative. Me getting pregnant from a one-night stand may not sit well with them.”
“Let’s worry about one thing at a time, okay? Make sure everything is okay with you, and then we can figure something out with your parents,” Alex says as he pulls into the hospital entrance.
Once inside the emergency room, we’re whisked back to a triage room quickly. I guess a possible miscarriage pops me to the front of the line. I should feel bad about skipping ahead of the people waiting impatiently, but I won’t allow myself. I’m already so attached to this baby, and I don’t know what I’ll do if I’ve already lost my tater tot. After getting all the normal vitals out of the way, I’m asked a handful of questions, mostly about normal life.
“How far along are you, ma’am?” the nurse asks.
“About thirteen or fourteen weeks, I think.”
“I’ll call and get someone from OB down to check you shortly.” With a tap of the pen, the short and to-the-point nurse steps out of my curtained area. Alex stands awkwardly next to the bed, his hands shoved deeply into his jeans pockets. Neither one of us speaks.
“If you want to leave, you can,” I finally whisper.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“You can if you want.”
“That’s not what I asked, Sunflower.” He steps toward the curtain leading out to the desks, and I’m momentarily stunned into silence. When he comes back with a chair, I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “Now then. Why do you want me to leave?
“I never said I wanted you to leave.”
“Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“Not really.” I pause. “Okay, maybe a little.”
Alex arches a brow as he watches me. “I’m going to need an explanation.”
I exhale a loud sigh, closing my eyes and resting my head against the thin piece of fabric this hospital calls a pillow. With my eyes closed, I can speak a little more freely. “I don’t know how to act around you. We were together once, and you bolted. I saw you crying when I told you about the baby, and I hate that I made you upset. I hate that this has thrown a wrench in your life. I hate that I’m going to be a single mother. I hate that this is making you miserable, and I wish you’d just take the out I gave you because it’ll break my heart if you see pain every time you see our baby.”
Alex is quiet, obviously thinking about my words, but I remain as still as can be. That is, until I feel a hand under my chin. “Open your eyes and look at me, Sunflower.”
I open my eyes, feeling his hand slide from my chin to cup my cheek. He pulls my face toward his, and when our eyes meet, I see emotion swimming in his. “I will never see pain when I look at our baby, Nat. I promise. I will love our baby just like I love my other two children. It doesn’t matter how we made him or her, okay? And don’t refer to our kid as a wrench.”
I let out a sniffly laugh as a tear slides down my cheek, and Alex tenderly wipes it away. “You know what I mean.”
“I’d say it’s more of a curveball,” he says with a quiet chuckle. “I won’t lie and tell you I didn’t cry that night when you left. I was completely overcome with emotion. I never thought I’d have another — that I’d have the opportunity to have another child, and it hit me harder than I ever thought possible.”
As I’m about to pepper him with a barrage of questions, someone says, “Knock, knock. I’m Doctor Vogel, I’m with obstetrics.”
“Come in,” Alex says, sitting up straight in his chair. I feel the cool air hit my face as he slides his hand from my cheek, and I’m only disappointed for a moment before he takes my hand in his, intertwining our fingers together.
Curtain pulled back, a very young doctor steps into the room. A very young male doctor.
“Woah, Doogie, what the hell?” Alex spurts out.
“Excuse me?” Dr. Vogel says, brows furrowed in confusion.
“Yeah, what’s Doogie?” I ask.
“Jesus. Doogie Howser ? I’m not that much older than you, Nat. You’ve never heard of that show? Teenager becoming a doctor?”
I giggle as I look at Dr. Vogel. He is young. Alex isn’t off the mark here.
“I’m not a teenager, but I can say that’s the first time anyone has ever referenced a television show,” Dr. Vogel says with a chuckle.
“Look it up. But I’m gonna need to know your age before you lay a hand on her,” Alex says tensely, a clear warning edging his voice ominously.
“I assure you, I’m of age, completed medical school just fine, and my mom even let me drive all by myself to work today,” Dr. Vogel snaps.
“Funny,” Alex quips. “Age.”
“Thirty-four. ”
“How long have you been practicing medicine?”
“Including my internship and residency?”
“Did you work on patients during that time?”
“Yes.”
“Then yeah.”
“I completed my undergraduate degree in three years. Medical school in four years, then I began my internship and residency program. I began my internship when I was twenty-five, so I’ve been practicing for nine years. I’ve been fully licensed for four years, and have worked with this hospital for the entirety of that time.”
Alex sighs. “Alright, I guess.”
“Did I pass the inspection?”
“Am I even here?” I shout. “While it was rather captivating watching you two volley back and forth, I’m actually the patient.”
Dr. Vogel gives me a smile. “That you are. Tell me, Mrs. Jackson — oh. It’s Ms. Jackson.”
I hear Alex growl, and the doctor’s smile grows. “What do you need to know from me?”
“When did the bleeding start?” he asks.
“This afternoon around three.”
“Was it full bleeding, or spotting?”
“Uh, spotting, I guess.”
“Any clots?”
“No.”
“That’s good. Any stomach cramps or pains?” he asks.
“No.”
“Good. Let’s do an ultrasound to check.” Dr. Vogel pops his head outside the curtain, murmuring to someone. He’s followed back into the room by the no-nonsense nurse from earlier, who is wheeling a portable ultrasound machine. “Usually I’d prefer to do a transvaginal ultrasound, but we don’t have one at our disposal. Let’s see if we can get some good images on your abdomen. If not, I’ll hunt down a machine for us to use.”
Alex’s hand tightens on mine as I push down my leggings. I’m embarrassed to have him so close to my stomach. These bright hospital lights aren’t doing me or my stretch marks any favors. As Dr. Vogel turns his back to us as he tinkers with the machine, Alex shocks the hell out of me by leaning forward and placing the gentlest of kisses against my stomach. He rests his forehead against my skin for a brief moment, then kisses my hand. Looking at me, he whispers, “It’s gonna be okay, Sunflower.”
“Alright. The gel will be cold, just a warning,” Dr. Vogel says as he turns around and squeezes a tube onto my skin. I hiss as it hits my skin. “I know. Our permanent machine upstairs has a warmer for the gel. There’s no possibility for me to warm it up in this situation.”
I close my eyes as he presses the wand into my stomach, hoping and praying to hear that rapid heartbeat again.
“Nat, look,” Alex whispers, squeezing my hand. I open my eyes, and Alex points toward the screen.
“This baby is doing gymnastics right now,” Dr. Vogel comments. “Are you feeling any kicks or movements yet?”
“A little flutter here and there, I think,” I murmur absentmindedly, utterly captivated by the images on the screen. “Is anything wrong? Is he or she okay?”
The sound I had been waiting for fills the space. “Heartbeat is right where it should be, and from the looks of it, your kiddo is doing just fine in there.”
“Really?” I ask, my voice cracking as my eyes heat with tears.
“What about the bleeding?” Alex inquires.
“We can’t know for sure. Take it easy for the next few days. No exercise or heavy lifting. If you need a doctor’s note, I can provide that.”
“I’m a teacher. I stand all day, but I’m off until Monday,” I tell him.
Dr. Vogel frowns. “I’d like you to take a few more days off as a precautionary measure. I’m confident your baby is fine, but better safe than sorry. I’ll get a note for you to take to your superior.”
The nurse hands me a towel to wipe off the ultrasound gel, and they leave immediately, pulling the machine with them.
“What do you need from your apartment?” Alex says, turning my attention to him .
“What?”
“You’re staying with me until you go back to work. What do you need? I can send Ari to get stuff.”
“No, that’s — I — she —” I sputter.
Alex gives me a rare smile. “She can get into your apartment, right? I assumed she had a key. She can get you some clothes and whatever toiletries you need.”
“I don’t need to stay with you,” I protest.
“Baby doc said to take it easy.”
“So? My apartment is like two hundred square feet, Alex. I doubt I’ll get winded on the six steps between my bed and the fridge.”
“But what if you do? What if you don’t have your phone, and you can’t call me?” he asks pointedly.
Dammit. “Baby Doc did not say I had to have a sitter.”
His grin grows wider. “Baby doc said to take it easy, which means the same damn thing. Accept this, Sunflower. You’re coming home with me.”
“I will only if you tell me why you call me Sunflower.”
“You’re coming home with me because I drove, and I refuse to take you back to your car or your apartment.”
“But your kids!”
“They’ll be fine with it. Neither one seemed upset about the baby.”
“How were they when you told them?”
“I told Abbie the day after you told me. Told Ben this past weekend. They have questions about things, but they aren’t upset about the baby.”
“Holy …” I trail off as my mind goes in a million different directions. “The kids seemed fine with the baby. Seriously?”
“Ben didn’t really care. He’d like a brother, by the way. He just doesn’t want to share a room. Abbie was pretty cool about it.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. When I told my in-laws —”
“You told them?” I screech.
“Technically, I didn’t tell them. Ben did. Or maybe it was Abbie? I can’t remember. Abbie was really pissed that my in-laws tried to set me up by having a girl at our Thanksgiving dinner last weekend, and I think she was the one who blurted it out.”
“How did they take it?” I whisper.
“Really good, actually. They want to meet you.”
“Hard pass,” I blurt out.
His eyebrows raise. “Why not?”
“That would make me incredibly uncomfortable. Why would they want to meet me? To confirm I’m not taking their daughter’s place? Or to make sure that I don’t measure up to her? Whatever the reason, I want no part in it.” I cross my arms over my chest, anger seeping into my veins. I don’t want to be reminded of Alex’s wife. It’s bad enough that I have to think about her every time I think about Alex, and how I know he wishes this pregnancy was with her. I don’t want to get that reminder from her parents as well.
“Alright,” he finally says. “If that’s how you feel. I don’t think they’d be comparing you, though.”
“Yes,” I laugh bitterly, “because I’m so far beneath everyone it would be evident immediately.”
Alex cocks his head to the side as he studies me. He takes a long moment before speaking. “I don’t think I realized how much Rob broke you. Your confidence. He really did a number on you.”
Too stunned to speak, I shake my head.
“You are not worthless, Natalie. Whatever Rob said to make you think that? Get it out of your head.”
The no nonsense nurse pops her head in. “Sir? Can you come give us some information? Doctor Vogel would like to check on Ms. Jackson in a few days, and we need some contact info.”
“Oh, I’m sure he does want to check on her,” Alex mutters, letting go of my hand and standing up. He hesitates before leaning over me and brushing his lips against my forehead. “I admire what you’re doing, Nat. How you’re handling things. You’re worthy of being loved by someone who sees how phenomenal you are.”
As Alex walks out of the room, I realize that I’m in deep trouble, because I really want that someone to be him.