17. Seventeen
Seventeen
Jake
“ H ey, she’s alive,” I sing-song when Anna pads into the kitchen on bare feet the following morning.
I shake my head, taking in her pitiful appearance, still in yesterday’s rumpled clothing; her hair looks like she’s been electrocuted—movements sluggish as she squints into the early morning sun while shielding her eyes with a trembling hand.
I dump a second batch of bacon onto a layer of paper towels—greasy food has always worked wonders for me when fighting a stubborn hangover—and pop some sliced bread into the toaster oven before I pour her a cup of much-needed coffee, along with a cold glass of orange juice.
I flip the omelet on the stove and watch her fall into the breakfast nook.
Leaning forward, she cradles her head and begins massaging her temples.
I have no doubt her head is pounding something fierce.
“What the heck happened last night?” she mumbles through splayed fingers when I set her drinks down in front of her.
I shake a couple of ibuprofen onto the table and urge her to take them before I flash her a sympathetic smile.
I’m no stranger to regretful morning afters, and I do feel for her.
That doesn’t mean I’ll pass up the opportunity to have some fun at her expense.
“You, my dear sister, got absolutely shit-faced and puked your guts up for a good half hour. So, if you feel like something’s died in your mouth, it’s probably because you were incapable of brushing your teeth before you passed out.”
“Ew,” she groans before she washes the pills down with half a glass of OJ. “Thanks for that unnecessary visual.”
“Anytime, sis,” I throw her a wink as I shove a heaping plate of food under her nose.
“I made you my hangover special. Nothing like a bit of bacon grease and buttered toast to get rid of the queasiness. Trust me.” Popping a strip of crispy goodness into my mouth, I begin chewing with fervor and watch her face drain of color.
I know I’m being a dick for enjoying this way more than I probably should, but as the eldest, it’s my God-given right to torment my siblings when opportunity knocks .
“Did I do anything embarrassing?” Unease flashes in her bloodshot eyes, and I have half a mind to make up a bogus story just to teach her a lesson, but I’m not a complete asshole.
“Well, I can’t say what went down before I came to pick you up, but I called you around eleven, and you sounded fine.
You called back around midnight, saying you weren’t feeling so good, and Tina was the one who suggested I come pick you up before you had a chance to embarrass yourself.
You should thank her for looking out for you, by the way. That’s a good friend right there.”
Anna nods as she places a small piece of toast between her lips and starts chewing tentatively.
“Anyway, when I got to the river, I found you sucking face with some guy who looked like a total tool. I didn’t like the way he was pawing at you, so I told him to get lost if he didn’t want to find out what it feels like to take a fist to the throat.
He ran like a little bitch, by the way. Didn’t even stop to make sure you were safe with me.
I mean, he didn’t know me from Adam, but all that prick cared about was saving his own ass.
You might want to reconsider your choices there. ”
“Oh my God,” she wails, tugging at her hair in obvious distress. “Who?”
“Pretty sure you said his name was Trevor. ”
“Trevor O’Connor?” she squeals, flinching at the sound of her own voice. “Shit. Do you have any idea how long I’ve tried to get his attention? And when I finally have it, I can’t even remember? That’s just cruel.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Life’s a bitch, sweetheart. If it’s any consolation, he didn’t seem like much of a prize. What’s so special about him, anyway?”
“Oh, I don’t know. He’s only the hottest, most popular guy at school. He’s also the quarterback of the football team, and I’ve had a crush on him since, like, forever.”
I grunt. “Seemed like a chickenshit to me, but what do I know? If it makes you feel any better, he seemed pretty into you before I came along.”
“Dammit, Jake. If he never talks to me again, I’m blaming you. You didn’t have to be so rude.”
“Anna,” I drawl with as much patience as I can muster.
“I arrived at a party after midnight and found my annihilated teenage sister grinding on some pervy little asshole. I’m sorry if my first instinct wasn’t to high-five the guy.
Taking advantage of someone who’s clearly not able to make smart choices is not cool.
If he has the slightest bit of decency, he’ll apologize and ask you on a proper date.
If he won’t, he’s not worth your time. ”
Anna snorts but starts picking at her omelet, which is something, I suppose.
“Like you’ve never made out with a drunk chick when you were my age.”
“As a matter of fact, I haven’t. I always made sure the girls I made out with were sober enough not to regret their choices come morning.
But I did make out with my fair share of clear-headed girls at Trevor’s age, which is exactly why I felt obligated to put a stop to it.
I know the type of thoughts running through the mind of someone who’s just started growing pubes, and I can’t say I feel comfortable with him having those thoughts about you. ”
Anna makes a gagging sound before she sips her lukewarm coffee. When it doesn’t come back up immediately, she goes for another.
“You realize I’m almost seventeen, right. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I won’t stay a virgin forever. Pretty much every girl in my class has done it already.”
“Can we please talk about something else?” I beg, cringing at the thought.
I probably should’ve punched Trevor, just to deter any overenthusiastic admirers that might have set their sights on Anna.
I know I was sexually active at her age, and both Tessa and Megan weren't much older when they experienced their first time, but this is my baby sister we’re talking about.
The mere thought of some pimply asshole touching her is giving me indigestion, and suddenly I’m the one who feels like I might throw up.
“Alright. What do you want to talk about?”
I lift my mug and gulp down half its contents, taking a moment to work up the courage needed for the conversation ahead.
“Listen, Anna.” I run a hand through my hair while I figure out how to best start this. “I know I haven’t always been the greatest role model, and as you so rudely pointed out last night, we both know I’ve had some issues with substance abuse.”
Digging her teeth into her bottom lip she asks, “What did I say? I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, Jake. I don’t even remember getting home.”
I wave off her concern, letting her know I’m not holding anything against her.
“Don’t worry about it. I know you didn’t mean it.
But you brought it up, which tells me it’s something that’s been on your mind these past few years.
I realize you’re getting older, so maybe it’s time we talk about it.
I was wrong to brush the incident under the rug and not talk it through with you to put your mind at ease.
It’s just…” I pause, inhaling a steadying breath before meeting her curious expression.
“You were so young and innocent, and I didn’t want to burden you with my problems. But I think it’s important for you to understand what I did was stupid and reckless, and it damn near cost me my life.
I don’t ever want you to hit rock bottom the way I did. ”
“Why’d you do it?” she asks, food forgotten as she gives me her undivided attention.
I sigh.
“You know Dad and I didn’t have the best relationship?”
She nods, patiently waiting for me to go on.
“We never really saw eye to eye, even before Mom died. But when he started drinking, things got so much worse. He got mean. Sometimes violent. I don’t know why I took that first pill.
I was angry at the world. Felt like no matter what I did, it was never enough for him, and one day, I just said to hell with it.
Everyone already judged me because of who my father was.
” I shrug, like their low opinion of me and our family didn’t bother me deep down.
“I saw the way people looked at me like I’d never amount to anything.
So, I figured, why not live up to their expectations?
I didn’t want to hear it when my friends told me I was spinning out of control.
And when Tessa left, and I overheard Megan say she’d gone on a date with some douche at her new school…
I don’t know.” My jaw clenches at the memory.
“I just needed to not feel anything that night. I never meant to seriously harm myself. I was just tired of hurting all the time, you know?”
“So, I was right to blame her? She’s the reason I almost lost you? ”
I lower my utensils, having lost my appetite, and wait for her to meet my eyes before saying, “No, Anna. My overdose was nobody’s fault but mine.
I’m responsible for my own actions, and I don’t make excuses for my weaknesses.
All I can do now is try to explain what caused me to make those poor choices, so you have a better understanding of what I was going through and not end up following in my footsteps. ”
Anna presses the tip of her tongue into the corner of her mouth and gives me a court nod, letting me know she’s ready to hear the rest.