Nineteen
It was one in the morning.
After the almost sixteen-hour trip from Brazil to Copenhagen, with a stopover in Portugal, Kaj had arrived at his penthouse. He’d started the laundry and ate something, trying to stay awake until the sky turned dark. But he couldn’t. The moment his head touched the armrest of the couch when he lay to take a break from house chores, he fell asleep.
And here he was now, five hours later, with his eyes open like an owl and a hyperactive mind going over all the things he had to do tomorrow—today—before flying to Austria for Nova Rock in three days. For once, it’d have been nice of Mads to stay here, fill his fridge and cook.
Rolling onto his side, Kaj grabbed his phone from the coffee table.
Only thirty minutes had passed since he woke up. He was starting to get annoyed. His body was tired, weighing much more than usual, but his brain refused to shut up.
At least if Noah were here, I’d have something to keep myself busy with.
Kaj bit the inside of his cheek, considering texting him. He’d been waiting for this moment to come so he didn’t have to see Artificial Suicide’s vocalist all the time. However, the idea of passing out while Noah was riding his dick seemed quite appealing.
What was the worst that could happen? That he was asleep and didn’t answer? That he told him to fuck off? Kaj could deal with that. There was also a third possibility, but he didn’t want to think about it.
Letting his drowsy, hazardous judgment guide him, Kaj texted Noah.
Hey
Nothing happened for a few minutes. Minutes he spent staring blankly at the screen because he didn’t remember what he was thinking about before. But then Noah was online.
Can’t sleep?
Apparently you can’t either
I passed out when I got home
So I’m fucked now
Would you like to be fucked in a different way?
What even?
If you’re willing to come over, I’ll get myself ready.
Kaj hesitated for a moment. His dick was always ready for a ride, but was he really that desperate and bored to drive to Noah’s house at this hour?
Send me the address
I’ll be there in an hour
Kaj got up and went straight into the shower. He should have done it when he got home, but at that moment, undressing felt like a monumental task. Now, bigger things were at stake.
Once he was done freshening himself up, Kaj ordered an Uber and made sure he had everything with him—phone, wallet, keys. His Ducati panigale v4 was a beautiful engineering masterpiece and would take him over to Noah’s faster than any cab, but he knew his reflexes were slow and he didn’t want to risk having an accident.
The thirty-five-minute ride felt like an eternity. Kaj leaned his head against the cool window, watching the city’s late-night streets pass in a blur under the faint glow of streetlights before they got out on the road and darkness swallowed everything around. His body hummed with anticipation despite his exhaustion, a peculiar type of energy that had nothing to do with jetlag and everything to do with where he was headed.
When the car finally pulled up to Noah’s building, Kaj’s heart hammered against his ribs, an unexpected nervousness threading through him.
“Thanks,” he mumbled to the driver before stepping out into the night air that felt crisp against his skin.
Noah’s apartment was on the third floor. Kaj took the elevator, watching the numbers climb as he ran a hand through his still-damp hair. Then he turned to check himself in the mirrored wall. The stubble along his jaw gave him a rougher look than usual—tired but still fuckable. He’d thrown on a simple black T-shirt under a zip-up hoodie and his military cargo pants, not bothering with anything more elaborate. It wasn’t like their clothes stayed on for long, anyway.
Standing outside apartment 3A, Kaj hesitated before knocking. Before the echo in the hallway faded into the air, the door opened almost immediately, as if Noah had been waiting just on the other side.
“You made it,” Noah said, voice low and hoarse.
Kaj barely had time to register Noah’s appearance before Noah yanked him inside. Their mouths collided with bruising force, teeth clashing before they found their rhythm. Kaj groaned, depletion mixing like vapor with the raw need seeping into his pores. Despite his best efforts to keep things casual between them, something about Noah kept drawing Kaj back to him.
“I needed this,” Kaj breathed against Noah’s mouth, kicking the door closed behind him. It was a lame thing to admit, considering they’d been sucking each other’s dicks three days ago, but it wasn’t like there was much blood left in his brain.
Noah didn’t waste time with pleasantries, already tugging at Kaj’s hoodie. “Bedroom’s this way,” he murmured as he walked backward and pulled Kaj with him, refusing to break their kiss.
The apartment wasn’t big, but they stumbled through it as they became a tangle of limbs and desperate kisses. Noah walked backward, guiding Kaj through the darkened living room, neither willing to separate long enough to turn on a light or look where they tossed their discarded clothes. Manic. Fierce. Demanding.
“Did you get yourself ready for me?” Kaj asked, voice rough as his hands slid down to squeeze Noah’s ass.
“Why don’t you find out?”
Their legs hit the edge of Noah’s bed, and they let themselves fall, stopping the heavy mouth-to-mouth only for a second as they got comfortable on the mattress. The room was cast in shadows, with only the faint glow of streetlights filtering through half-drawn curtains, illuminating the planes and angles of Noah’s face beneath him.
“Fuck,” Kaj whispered. So fucking gorgeous.
Noah’s hair was mussed, splayed against the light sheets like spilled ink. His chest rose and fell rapidly, the letters tattooed along his collarbone seeming to dance with each breath.
“You gonna stare all night?”
“Turn over,” Kaj said as he got up and picked up his pants from the floor, reaching for his wallet He knew it wasn't the safest, but he always kept a condom here, in case he found himself in the middle of a spontaneous, raunchy adventure. His fingers fumbled through the leather pockets, finding nothing but a few bills and cards.
A cold realization washed over him.
“Shit,” he muttered, turning toward Noah. “My mind is such a mess I forgot the fucking condoms.”
Noah, who was on all fours, sat back on his heels and looked at Kaj. “I don’t have any either,” he admitted. “Haven’t needed them in a while.”
They stood there for a moment, naked and hard, the mood threatening to evaporate when Noah ran a hand through his hair and asked, “Have you fucked anyone else since we started hooking up?”
Kaj frowned but answered truthfully, “No. You?” He wasn’t sure why he was asking, or if he wanted to know.
“No.”
Kaj’s mouth went dry as relief and desire swirled in his chest.
“Fuck me bare,” Noah breathed.
The request hung between them, charged with implications beyond the physical sensations. The trust. The intimacy. The unspoken admission that whatever they were doing was evolving.
“You sure?” Kaj asked, making sure he wasn’t dreaming. The simple thought of being inside Noah with nothing between them... Fuck .
“We’re both clean, and we’re not having sex with anyone else…”
“Yeah.” Kaj nodded, enthralled by Noah reaching behind himself, biting his bottom lip as he pulled the black plug out.
“Then fuck me.”
Without wasting another second, Kaj closed the distance between them. His hands grabbed Noah’s neck, and he bent forward, crashing their mouths together. The swollen head of his dick brushed against Noah’s abdomen as their tongues unabashedly rubbed against each other.
Breaking the kiss, Noah looked up at him, a sinful smile playing at the corners of his mouth as he pumped Kaj’s cock a few times before swallowing him in one go.
“Holy fuck!” Kaj fisted Noah’s hair as pleasure radiated through his body in dizzying waves. “Christ,” he hissed.
The sight of his cock disappearing inside Noah’s mouth, the obscene slurping sounds filling the room, the way his eyes watered slightly as he took him deeper—it was all too much and not enough at the same time.
“Fuck, Noah, I’m gonna—” Kaj tried to pull away, not wanting to finish too soon, but Noah held him firmly, nails clawing at the back of his thighs.
Just when Kaj thought he might lose it, Noah released him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he panted. “Lie down.”
Kaj didn’t need to be told twice. As if he were a puppet controlled by Noah, he lay on his back. The sheets were cool against his hot skin, a momentary relief that did nothing to quell the fire raging inside him. His cock stood proud against his abdomen, glistening with precum and Noah’s saliva, throbbing with need.
“Look at you,” Noah murmured, his voice dripping with desire. “Laid out for me like a fucking feast.”
The snap of the cap as Noah opened the bottle of lube echoed in the room. But instead of handing it to him, Noah poured a generous amount directly onto Kaj’s shaft.
“Noah…” Kaj groaned as Noah twisted his wrist on the upstroke. “If you keep doing that—”
“What? You’ll come?” Noah smirked. “Don’t you dare.” He moved to align Kaj’s cock with his hole. “Not until I’m done using you to fuck myself into oblivion. Not until your throat is so sore you can’t even scream my name.”
Kaj gripped the sheets to stop himself from clutching Noah’s hips and flipping them around. He was not used to Noah being this aggressive, but fuck, it was so hot he didn’t want this game to end. “Do it. Unleash the little freak in you. Show me how badly you want it.”
Noah’s eyes flashed with something dangerous as he sank down onto Kaj’s cock with deliberate precision.
“Oh, god,” Noah gasped, his head falling back as their pelvises pressed together. “You feel so fucking good.”
Kaj couldn’t speak, couldn’t think as every one of his brain cells melted, forming a mass of nothing. Without the barrier of latex, the heat was overwhelming, consuming him from the inside out. He could feel every pulse of Noah’s body as it stretched to accommodate him.
“Move,” he practically growled.
Noah obeyed, rising almost completely off Kaj’s cock before slamming back down. The sensation was so intense that Kaj’s vision blurred at the edges, his breath catching in his throat as his heart lost its cadence.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Kaj hissed through clenched teeth, his head pressing back into the pillow.
“You feel so much bigger like this,” Noah rasped, establishing a tortuous groove. “So deep.”
Kaj growled, his hands sliding up Noah’s torso to pinch and twist his nipples as he rode him. “One day I’m gonna take all your control away.”
“Fuck, yes—”
“Shit…” Kaj breathed, the word escaping like a prayer as Noah rolled his hips in that undulating motion that overrode his willpower every damn time. “Keep going...”
The room flooded with the wet sounds of Kaj plunging in and out of Noah’s hole as the bed creaked beneath them, headboard knocking against the wall with each thrust.
With his fingers splayed on Noah’s ass, Kaj parted his cheeks only to press them together again. The jetlag haze he was floating in made every thrust, every groan and caress feel more intense than ever before. This man taking what he wanted, face flushed, eyes half-lidded, and mouth parted in silent ecstasy, was so erotic Kaj could hardly contain himself.
Noah moaned, rolling into a grunt as his nails clawed Kaj’s chest and his thighs trembled. “I’m close.”
The rawness in Noah’s voice disintegrated the last remnants of self-control Kaj had left. Planting his feet on the mattress, he grabbed Noah’s hips in a possessive grip and thrust upward as Noah came down.
Noah cried out, squeezing his cock as he arched.
With anal sex, “deeper” didn’t always mean more pleasure for the top as most nerves were concentrated on the head of the dick, and once past the narrow entrance, some people were slightly looser inside. But Noah was so tight, sensitive, and so damn sensual—shamelessly unraveling in their intoxicated state—that he drove Kaj to the edge of insanity. Because, in a way, he owned Noah’s pleasure and each one of his orgasms every time he came.
“Let me see you break.” Kaj’s voice came out tattered.
Noah smiled that sexy half-smile that threatened Kaj’s sanity like nothing else.
Fucking fuck.
Time dissolved into sensations. The slap of their hips. The salty taste on Kaj’s tongue when he lifted enough to flick his tongue against Noah’s nipple. The whispered profanities that fell from their lips. Noah working himself with rough, impatient strokes.
The curtains billowed with the breeze as sweat coated their skin, catching the amber light that spilled through the windows of Noah’s room. Pressure built inside Kaj like a gathering storm. Each rise and fall of Noah’s body sent lightning through Kaj’s spine, pooling like liquid fire where they joined.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Noah’s face contorted in an orgasmic expression as he came all over the drummer’s abs.
His rhythm faltered, movements turning sloppy as he shivered through his climax. For someone else, it might have taken away the pleasure, but Noah was a wet fantasy made of flesh and bone. Nothing could deter Kaj from giving him what they both craved.
Grabbing Noah’s nape, Kaj brought their lips together. The piercing on his tongue clacked against Noah’s teeth as they ravished each other’s mouths with voracious need. The kiss was raging, impatient, almost sadistic, as if they were silently pouring years of unsaid things and frustrations into this speck of time.
A guttural groan ripped from Kaj’s chest and his entire body seized and shuddered when Noah’s hole clenched around his cock like a vice. Spurt after spurt, he felt a dizzying wave of empowerment as he filled Noah with his sticky, hot cum.
The first hint of dawn seeped through the window, edging Noah’s face in gold and shadows as they slowed. The world outside was still quiet, lingering in that strange liminal space between night and morning where everything felt both impossibly real and dreamlike.
Noah collapsed forward. His forehead pressed against the pillow as Kaj lazily moved his hands up and down Noah’s back, tracing the knobs of his spine, feeling the slight tremble that still coursed through him.
They stayed like that, connected and breathless, until Noah rolled off with a satisfied groan, settling beside him on the rumpled sheets.
For several minutes, they lay there in silence. Kaj stared at the ceiling, his mind still hazy. All he could think of was how good this felt every fucking time—the company, the warmth, the tranquility.
Noah shifted beside him. Even without looking, Kaj could sense those dark eyes studying his profile.
“Can’t sleep yet?” Noah husked.
Kaj turned his head to meet Noah’s gaze. “Not complaining about being awake right now.”
Noah’s lips quirked into that lopsided smile that always made Kaj’s stomach flip, forcing him to look away.
In these quiet moments, when the facade of casual sex momentarily slipped, forcing a torrent of emotions Kaj wasn’t ready to acknowledge, he felt most vulnerable. Most exposed.
It was terrifying.
“We should clean up,” Noah murmured, but made no move to get out of bed.
“Yeah.”
“I can’t fucking move.”
“Want me to carry you?”
“Considering I’ve done all the work, that’d be nice of you. But I’m afraid you’ll drop me since you’re also trembling like a fucking leaf.”
Kaj chuckled and watched Noah slide off the bed with fluid grace. He stretched, muscles rippling beneath inked skin when he walked away like a newborn deer. Even such a clumsy gait didn’t detract from how impressive Noah was as the morning light traced the elegant curve of his spine, the dip of his lower back, and the perfect roundness of his ass.
Kaj followed him out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. It was all sleek lines and modern fixtures, slate gray tiles and chrome accents. Noah turned on the shower and stepped under the spray, tilting his head back to avoid getting his hair wet, eyes closed as water cascaded down his body.
“You just gonna stand there and stare?”
“Maybe.” Kaj lifted a shoulder. “The view’s pretty fucking spectacular.”
Noah laughed as he reached for the shower gel. The sound was warm but also de-energized, like fatigue was finally getting him.
Kaj stepped into the shower, realizing just how tight the space was for the both of them when Noah’s backside practically rubbed against Kaj’s dick as he lathered his body. Despite the risks involved with shower sex, if Kaj wasn’t feeling so fucking drained himself, he’d probably try to fuck him here again.
“Move over, you’re hogging all the water,” Kaj said playfully as he slid his hands around Noah’s waist.
“Fuck off and wait your turn. Not everyone has a shower that could fit the entire band.”
Kaj chuckled against Noah’s neck, inhaling and closing his eyes. He had no idea what brand of gel Noah used, but the scent was one his brain associated with this man. It was so relaxing and soothing. His hands wandered lower, unable to resist cupping Noah’s ass while his mind drifted away and his own body turned weightless.
“You gonna fall asleep standing?”
“No,” Kaj protested with his forehead pressed to Noah’s shoulder, watching the remains of foam slide down his crack. “Just... appreciating the moment. Your ass is fucking amazing, I wanna bite and kiss it every time I see it.” He was babbling nonsense.
“I think you’re borderline obsessed.”
“Can you blame me?” Kaj kneaded the firm muscle, the flesh giving in under his fingers. “Actually, been thinking about something...”
“Hm?”
“I want to test your limits. See how much you can take.” Without raising his head, he circled a finger over Noah’s slightly swollen entrance.
“What are we talking about?”
“Double penetration.”
Noah’s expression was a mix of surprise, curiosity, and indignation as he slowly turned around in the cramped shower. “Like… with another person?”
“Fuck no,” Kaj said quickly, too quickly. The thought of another man touching Noah made something dark and possessive twist in his gut. “Just you, me, and a toy. I’m not sharing you with anyone.”
Noah tilted his head to the side, but if he had something to say, he didn’t.
“It’s okay if you’re not into that.”
“That’s not what I was thinking about. You said you’re not sharing me with anyone… That sounds possessive.”
“It’s not—” Kaj started, then sighed, turning his back to Noah as he got under the showerhead. How could I let that slip? “Okay, maybe it is.”
There was a second of silence
“So, you, me, and a dildo.” Noah raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah.”
“Have you done it before?”
“In all honesty?” Kaj’s mouth twisted while lathering his body. Talking with Noah about what he’d done and hadn’t done with other people was weird. Kaj didn’t want to know what he’d done with his exes, even if that was what made him so insanely good in bed. “There’s nothing I’ve wanted to try and haven’t done yet.”
“Okay.” Tension laced Noah’s voice. “Guess that makes me feel safer. That you know what you’re doing, I mean.”
“I don’t think you’d have issues with it, if that helps. You take three of my fingers easily, and there’s been a couple of times when I’ve also put all four in and you haven’t even flinched.” A tingle of excitement mingled with exhaustion at the base of Kaj’s skull as he pictured some of the nights they’d spent together during the tour. “I just…” He took a deep breath and turned to face Noah, purposefully staring into his eyes. “I want to see how much your hole can stretch for me. How you look completely battered and opened.”
“Jesus,” Noah breathed, gaze darkening despite the tiredness etched on his face. “You’ve really thought about this.”
“Enough to have a toy I’ve never tried on my radar.”
“Should I ask?” Noah chuckled as they stepped out of the shower.
“It’s nothing wild,” Kaj said, taking the towel Noah was handing him, “just a cock ring with a dildo attached to it.” More comfortable than a strap-on or a regular vibrator, and way better than seeing you moan with another man’s dick inside your ass. “Of course, I’d make sure you’re loose and slick enough to take it all. If you don’t have a stretcher to practice, I can send you the link to one that might help.”
“Sure.” Noah’s lips pursed slightly as he held back a grin.
“And I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“Meaning?”
“I’ll treat you like a princess.” Kaj flashed Noah a cheeky grin, earning himself a middle finger. “A queen then?”
“Fuck you.”
Kaj laughed. “I just won’t be too rough, too bossy, or use degrading language.”
“You know I’m okay with that. Turns you on. Turns me on.” Noah shrugged.
“Yeah, but I need to be in a different headspace so I don’t overdo it and hurt you.”
Noah raised an eyebrow. “Fair,” he said while drying his body. “Your birthday is in a few days; you want me to put a red ribbon on my dick and offer my ass for you to destroy it?”
Kaj barked out a laugh, but the image sent a spark of heat through his spent body. Also, that Noah remembered his birthday made his heart flutter stupidly. “As tempting as that sounds,” he said, wrapping the towel around his waist. “I’d rather have this conversation when we’re not about to pass out.”
“Fair point. My brain feels like mush.”
They made their way back to the bedroom, the sheets still rumpled from their earlier activities, but now two cats were on the bed. One of them was lying in that classic loaf pose with all four paws under its body, the other was licking its ass.
“They were probably hiding before, scaredy-cats.” Noah flashed them a mocking glance. “Meet Cheeto and Trinity.” He motioned to the furballs.
Kaj snorted. “Let me guess. The orange cat is Cheeto and the one with three colors is Trinity.”
“Yeah.” Noah shrugged.
“So original.”
“Easy to remember.”
“Right.” Kaj’s left eyebrow shot up involuntarily. “Who took care of them while we were away?”
“My mom. I’d have left them with her, but they hate one of her dogs. So, on her daily walk around the neighborhood, she came by to check on them.”
“Sounds kind of lonely for them.”
“Better than the stress of being with other animals they can’t stand in a house that’s not theirs. Besides, they have each other.”
“They do look unbothered.”
"They are.” Noah smiled.
He shooed the cats so they could change the bedding, still dampened from sweat and the semen that had leaked out of Noah’s ass. Kaj smirked at the thought, then picked up all the clothes they’d scattered on their way to Noah’s bedroom earlier and left them in a heap on a chair there.
The sky outside had lightened to a pale lavender, the first proper signs of morning creeping across the city as the drummer reached for his underwear.
“Stay,” Noah said.
Kaj froze with his boxers dangling from his fingers. Although they’d slept together some nights during the tour, most of the time one or the other always left after they were done fucking. It made it easier to maintain that invisible line between sex and something more complicated. But here, in Noah’s apartment, surrounded by his memories and everything that made him who he was… It was a lot more personal.
“You sure?” Kaj asked, uncertain. A part of him wanted to stay for several reasons he wasn’t going to analyze now, but the other was afraid this might confuse things.
Noah nodded. “I mean, if you want to. To save you the trip back to Copenhagen when you clearly could use some sleep.”
The idea of simply falling on the bed and letting Morpheo take him sounded incredibly appealing. “Just for tonight.”
“Of course.”
Noah drew the curtains closed to block the sun and climbed into bed first, settling on the side closer to the window. Kaj hesitated a moment longer before dropping his boxers and sliding under the sheet with him.
They lay with their backs toward each other, keeping a safe distance between them, the silence broken only by their breathing, the city waking up, and two cats purring—one was perched on Noah’s hip, the other at their feet.
Kaj liked animals more than a lot of people, but he’d never been emotionally stable or been around enough to take care of them. So, he’d never had any, but this was so relaxing. After months on the road, living in the artificial bubble of tour life, being back in the real world felt surreal. Like they’d stepped into some parallel universe.
Noah yawned. “Do you have plans for tomorrow?”
“Today, you mean?”
Noah chuckled lazily, as if his batteries were about to die. “Yeah.”
“Probably sleep until my body decides it’s on European time again. Then... I don’t know. You?”
“Not much. Might go through some of the songs I’ve been working on.”
Kaj nodded, feeling his eyelids growing heavier by the second. “I’d like to hear those,” he slurred.
“Sure.”
Kaj finally closed his eyes. Noah’s body beside him anchored him, making the spinning sensation of jetlag less disorienting. Dreams came in fragments—flashes of stage lights, the roar of crowds, Noah’s smile backstage, fingers intertwined when they fucked. The boundary between memory and fantasy blurred as sleep deepened, pulling Kaj under completely.
He didn’t know how long they’d been asleep when an insistent buzzing cut through his consciousness, along with female voices. Two or three, Kaj wasn’t sure. He groaned, burying his face into the pillow that smelled of Noah. The buzzing stopped, blessed silence returning, and he sank back toward oblivion.
Then it started again.
“Make it stop,” he grumbled as he rolled over, not fully awake.
Noah stirred beside him. “S’probably the neighbor,” he mumbled, voice thick with sleep. “Ignore it.”
The buzzing ceased once more, and Kaj relaxed, tightening his arm around Noah’s waist. His mind began to drift again, hovering in that perfect limbo between conscious and unconscious.
Then the damn buzzing started again, and Noah’s entire body went rigid in Kaj’s arms.
What the fuck? Why am I hugging him?
“Fuck,” Noah whisper-growled, jumping to his feet and pulling on his underwear. He twisted to look at Kaj, eyes wide with panic.
“What is it?”
“It’s my mom.”
Kaj blinked, brain struggling to process. “What?”
“I had forgotten. She said they’d come over for lunch today.” Noah scrambled to pull on sweatpants and a T-shirt, panic evident in every jerky movement.
“ They ?” Kaj sat up.
“My mom and her wife, Sigrid,” Noah hissed, checking the hour on his phone. “They’re early. Fuck.”
Before Kaj could ask about his mom being married to a woman—like, when did that happen —a loud meow resonated in the hallway, followed by scratching at the bedroom door.
The door. It wasn’t closed when they fell asleep.
Kaj and Noah exchanged a look, eyes wide as they both reached the same conclusion.
“Shit.” Noah mouthed.
Kaj got out of bed and searched for his clothes. He grabbed his pants from the pile on the chair and hopped into them, nearly falling over. If this were a ground or first floor, he’d jump out of the window. He hadn’t seen Trine in over a decade. Facing her right now, when it was obvious he’d spent the night with her son, would probably make the reunion awkward as fuck.
“Should I hide?” The irony wasn’t lost on him.
Noah shot him a withering look as he pulled on a pair of sweatpants. “No, you idiot. Just—” He gestured vaguely at Kaj’s bare chest. “Put something on and try to look like you didn’t fuck me senseless a few hours ago.”
“She’s seen us sleeping butt-naked next to each other. She already knows that.”
“Shut up.” Noah threw a tee at Kaj’s face. “Just try to act normal.”
“Define normal,” Kaj mumbled, following Noah out of the bedroom.
The apartment looked different in daylight—smaller somehow, but warmer, too. Morning sun streamed through the windows, illuminating specks of dust that danced in the air. Trinity, the calico cat, wound around Noah’s ankles as they entered the living room. The chunky Cheeto was perched on top of the back of the couch.
Trine was in the kitchen, pouring freshly squeezed juice into four glasses. Still wearing mostly black and grey, Noah’s mom looked almost the same as she did ten years ago. The only color accent on her was the auburn wig that enhanced her sharp cheekbones. Beside her was this tall, heavily tattooed woman with silver hair who was busy preparing a variety of sm?rrebr?d . Everything looked so tasty, Kaj’s empty stomach growled.
“You’re finally awake, boys. Slept well?”
Trine’s smile hit Kaj with the force of a physical blow. Her face was more lined now, and there was an underlying melancholy in her ocean blue eyes, but the tenderness and mischief that radiated from her was the exact same as he remembered from when he was a kid.
“Kaj Larsen,” she said, setting down the juicer. “Look at you, all grown up and famous.”
A knot of emotions he wasn’t prepared for twisted in Kaj’s chest. He’d spent years deliberately not thinking about Trine, about how she’d been more of a mother to him than Katja had ever been. About how she’d given him a safe place when his own home felt like a minefield. About her jokes, her words of encouragement, her unconditional support, her acceptance and understanding. About how, after everything fell apart with Noah, he’d cut her off too, because seeing her would have meant confronting the mess he had become.
“Hi, Trine,” he managed, voice rougher than he intended.
She crossed the room in four strides and pulled him into a hug. The scent of her perfume—floral notes blended with citrus and sandalwood—engulfed him. His arms instinctively wrapped around her small frame. For a moment, he was sixteen again, safe in her kitchen while the world outside raged. Kaj clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes as the distinctive itching that always came before crying hit his nose.
“It’s been too long,” she murmured against his shoulder. When had he gotten so much taller than her? “Far too long.”
The lump in Kaj’s throat made it impossible to speak. He nodded, aware of Noah watching them, of the silver-haired woman tactfully busying herself with the food.
When Trine pulled back, her eyes were bright and watery. She patted his cheek with a cool hand. “You look good. Success suits you.”
“You look exactly the same,” Kaj said, finding his voice. “Still the coolest mom in Denmark.”
“Flatterer.” She laughed. “This is Sigrid, my wife. Sigrid, this is Kaj, Noah’s…” She trailed off, glancing between them with a raised eyebrow.
“Bandmate,” Noah supplied quickly.
“Friend,” Kaj said at the same time.
Trine’s knowing grin made heat rush to Kaj’s face. Some things never changed.
“The Kaj Larsen,” Sigrid said, extending a hand adorned with tattoos that disappeared beneath her rolled-up sleeve. “I've heard stories.”
“All lies,” Kaj said automatically.
“Oh, those are the only ones I believe,” Sigrid replied with a grin.
“I hope you boys are hungry,” Trine said, gesturing to the spread on the counter. “Sigrid went a bit overboard.”
“It’s not every day I get to cook for a rock star. Let alone two.” Sigrid winked at Kaj as she gave Noah a hug, squeezing him to her side.
They settled at the dining table, falling into a domestic rhythm that felt strangely natural. Kaj and Noah moved around the kitchen as if they’d done it a hundred times before, their bodies instinctively avoiding collision in the small space. That was until they sat to eat. Their knees bumped underneath the table, clearly not designed for more than two people.
Sigrid had prepared an impressive array of sm?rrebr?d—some traditional, others with her own twists. Rye bread topped with herring and pickled onions, roast beef with remoulade, cured salmon with dill and mustard sauce. She also made a couple with scrambled eggs and chicken for Trine along with some lemon water as chemo apparently was messing up her taste and appetite. Kaj hated to know that, wished he could take the cancer away. Trine had always loved cooking and eating. Still, the familiar sight of Danish open-faced sandwiches made Kaj’s stomach growl audibly.
“Someone’s hungry,” Trine teased, passing him a plate.
“I haven’t had a bite since yesterday’s snack on the plane,” Kaj admitted, loading his plate. “And these look so good.”
“I made your favorite,” Trine said, pointing to the sandwich with egg and shrimp. “You used to inhale these when you were a kid.”
The fact that she remembered after all these years made Kaj’s heart skid. He took a bite and closed his eyes as the flavors exploded on his tongue.
“Still your favorite?” she asked with a kind smile.
“God, yes,” Kaj groaned. “This is fucking—sorry—freaking amazing.” He grimaced, not sure why he corrected himself.
“I’ll take the praise.” Sigrid laughed. “No need to censor yourself for me. I own a tattoo parlor. I’ve heard sweet old ladies talk like sailors.”
“Yourself included,” Trine noted.
“Sue me.” Sigrid shrugged unapologetically.
Trine chuckled, shaking her head before looking at the metalheads. “So, how was the tour?”
“It was…” Kaj glanced at Noah, who was chewing on his avocado and egg sandwich. “Intense.”
“That’s one word for it,” Noah added, a private smile playing on his lips.
As they ate, the conversation flowed more easily than Kaj had expected. Trine asked about the band, about life on the road and the places they’d seen. Kaj was sure Noah had told her all about it while they were away; these two always had the most amazing relationship. The best of it all, though, was the lack of awkwardness and resentment. There was no mention of the years of silence, just genuine interest.
“Remember when you two used to play in your garage?” Trine laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “The neighbors threatened to call the police at least once a week.”
“Mrs. Petersen,” Noah and Kaj said in unison, then exchanged surprised looks.
“That old bat,” Trine shook her head.
Kaj smiled with sadness. “Dad used to apologize and smile at her all the time, but I caught him cursing and rolling his eyes when he thought I wasn’t looking.”
“Nik was always a good diplomat,” Trine said softly.
“Yeah.” Kaj’s grip tightened on his glass, surprised by how much his father’s absence still hurt after all these years.
Noah reached under the table and squeezed Kaj’s knee. The warmth of his palm lingered even after he withdrew his hand.
“Remember the time you decided to camp in the backyard on Kaj’s thirteenth birthday?” Trine asked, clearly trying to shift to a lighter topic.
“Oh, that was a disaster!” Noah laughed.
“We made it like... three hours?” Kaj said, grinning at him.
“Not even!” Noah chuckled. “It was the middle of summer, but somehow it was freezing,” he told Sigrid. “We’d set up this pathetic little tent—”
“That tent was perfectly adequate,” Kaj protested.
“It was trash,” Noah countered. “Anyway, we had all these grandiose plans about staying up all night telling ghost stories—”
“Which Theo and you were terrified of,” Kaj interjected.
“I was not!” Noah kicked him lightly under the table. “You were the one who screamed when that branch scratched against the tent.”
“That’s not how I remember it.” Kaj narrowed his eyes on Noah. “Wanna ask Val?”
“The four of you came running back inside before midnight,” Trine said, “claiming you’d heard a bear.”
“There are no bears in Denmark,” Sigrid pointed out with a funny grin.
“That’s what I told them!” Trine exclaimed. “But they were so convinced.”
“It was probably Mrs. Petersen’s cat,” Noah admitted.
“Or her,” Kaj added. “She was creepy as fuck.”
They all laughed, and Kaj felt something tight in his chest loosen. This was nice, sitting around a table, sharing food and memories. It felt… like home.