CHAPTER ELEVEN
Though he would have liked to stay in his room, Zane forced himself out of bed and pulled on a pair of loose gym shorts and a T-shirt. He needed to take a shower at some point that day, but it required more energy than he had at that moment.
He dragged a hand through his hair, then stood for a moment in the darkened room to brace himself for the world beyond his door. It had been a long week, and he would have much rather stayed in bed.
Despite the conversation with Kelsey on Sunday, things hadn’t magically become easier between them. He hadn’t gone out of his way to avoid her, though, and it didn’t seem that she had tried to avoid him either. That hadn’t made their interactions any less awkward. If anything, they might have gotten more so.
It was a Friday, so no surprise, the house was quiet. He made his way to the stairs and carefully maneuvered himself down them to the main floor. It was only then he heard movement and became aware of the aromas in the air.
When he moved through the entryway to the kitchen, he spotted Kelsey standing at the counter. She had a mug in one hand and was staring down at her phone in the other. There was an electric griddle on the counter in front of her with circles of pancake batter on it.
Looking up, she regarded him for a long moment before she said, “Coffee and some pancakes?”
He nodded as he slowly crutched his way over to the counter and sank down on a bar stool there. He appreciated that she hadn’t asked how he was doing, but that probably meant he looked as bad as he felt. Or worse.
When she set a large mug of coffee in front of him, Zane lifted it and took a sip. Perfect. It was then he realized that she’d doctored the coffee exactly how he liked it.
As he watched, she pulled some containers of berries from the fridge, along with a can of whipped cream. She got a couple of plates from the cupboard and set them on the counter.
He wondered if this was a breakfast she’d made them before. So far, she was getting out all the things he liked with his pancakes.
Music played in the background, so there wasn’t a heavy silence when they didn’t talk. He was glad she didn’t press for conversation because he wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t be a little snappy with his replies.
She used a spatula to move three perfectly formed pancakes from the griddle to one of the plates. After adding some blueberries and cutting up some strawberries, she squirted a healthy dose of whipped cream on the pancakes.
“It says it’s made from real whipping cream,” she said when he eyed the can. “I forgot to buy cream to whip myself.”
He looked up to find her watching him with slightly narrowed eyes. “I’m sure it will be fine.”
She carefully slid the plate across to him, then opened up the silverware drawer and took out a couple of forks and knives. Handing him one of each, she set the others down on the second plate, then poured more pancake batter onto the grill.
Zane watched her for a moment, then bowed his head to thank God for the meal that Kelsey had prepared for him. He took a bite of pancake with berries and whipped cream and hummed in appreciation.
“Tastes good,” Zane said.
“I’m not surprised you think that,” Kelsey replied as she lifted her mug to take a sip. “It’s your recipe.”
Zane looked down at his pancakes, then back at her. “Did I teach you how to make them?”
“Yep. I wanted to learn how to make something you liked, and together we decided that this recipe was simple enough that I wasn’t likely to mess it up.”
“Well, apparently, we made a good decision because you didn’t mess this up at all. Even with canned whipped cream.”
The headache was still there, but the food and Kelsey were giving him something else to focus on. Elsa came over to him then and sat looking up at him.
“I can give her berries, right?” he asked.
“Yes, but probably not too many. We wouldn’t want to make her sick, even if her dad is a vet.”
Thinking of Lee as a dad to a dog led Zane to thinking of him as a dad to a kid. Lee had always hoped to have a family. However, when Lee’s relationship prior to Rori had ended because the woman had rejected him over his unknown past, Zane hadn’t been sure Lee would be willing to try for another. At least not without more answers about his past.
Now, however, Zane could see how children would fit into his brother’s life so easily. His career was stable, and he was married to a woman who would make a wonderful mom.
Zane could see Rori’s mothering tendencies already in how she cared for Kelsey and for him. She was a bit like a mother hen, worrying over both of them.
And then there was the house. Big enough for a whole lot of children.
Kelsey flipped the pancakes, then went to pour more coffee into her mug. “Did you want more?”
“I think I’m good for now. Thanks.”
“Do you want more pancakes?” she asked as she removed hers from the griddle.
“I’m pretty full, so no more for me at the moment,” Zane told her. “But they were great.”
“I’m going to cook the rest of the batter up, anyway.” She ladled more circles of batter onto the griddle. “I figure we can heat them up if we want more later.”
“What were our days like in Tampa?” he asked.
She glanced up at him, then turned her attention back to the berries she was scooping onto her pancakes. “We were fortunate that our jobs had similar hours. Your days were longer than mine, though. You left before me and got home after me.”
“Sounds about right for a sous chef in a restaurant of that caliber.”
Kelsey nodded. “They worked you hard there, but you loved it.”
“I’m sure I was more than happy to do whatever the job required.”
“You were,” Kelsey agreed. “But you always made sure that we had time for each other. Sometimes that was making breakfast together. That’s when you taught me how to make these pancakes.”
It was so easy to picture what she was describing… for someone else. But he still had a hard time imagining it being his life.
“I’d always wait up until you got home, then we’d have supper together, hang out for awhile and go to bed.”
“Did we have friends in Tampa?”
“Not really,” Kelsey said as she flipped the pancakes she’d poured onto the griddle. “We each had people at our workplaces that we got along well with, but we hadn’t forged any real friendships yet.”
That didn’t really surprise Zane. He’d never made friends super easily, and if he was working hard at a new job, building friendships would have definitely taken a back burner. Especially if he had a wife to spend time with.
Zane was glad to hear that he’d made his relationship with Kelsey a priority. He still struggled with the idea of being married to anyone other than Sarah, but it was good that he had taken his marriage to Kelsey seriously.
Kelsey began to clear up the dishes she’d used to make their breakfast, as well as his plate. He took her offer of a refresh of his coffee, and once again, she’d fixed it just the way he liked it.
He felt like they were getting closer. Like these moments together were promoting natural growth between them. It was probably the best way for things to unfold. It helped to make things feel less forced.
Still, he hadn’t read their personal text messages yet. It almost seemed wrong to read them when the people conversing were essentially strangers to him.
“I have a question,” Zane said as Kelsey bent to put their plates into the dishwasher.
She slowly straightened and seemed to take a deep breath before looking at him. “What’s that?”
“So, when I got my new phone, I loaded everything from the backup,” he said. “I’ve looked through the pictures and read some of the stuff on my social media.”
“Okay?” She was frowning, but didn’t seem upset.
“What I haven’t read is the text messages between you and… well… me.”
“Why not?” she asked, picking up a dish towel to wipe her hands.
“I guess I assumed they might be pretty personal.”
She didn’t answer right away, as if she was thinking back through all they’d written to each other. “Our messages were a mix of practical and intimate, I suppose.”
“That’s why I didn’t feel right reading them.”
Kelsey looked away from him, blinking rapidly. “Yeah. It might be best to wait.”
He was glad he’d decided not to read the messages, and also to ask Kelsey about them. It did make him more curious, though. He thought there might be a reason to read them in the future.
But it definitely wasn’t that time yet.
“I’m heading out in a bit,” she said once everything had been tidied up. “Do you need anything at the store?”
Zane had never really enjoyed shopping, unless it was at a specialty food store, but he felt like he’d been cooped up forever.
“Would you mind some company?”
Kelsey hesitated for a moment, then shrugged. “Nope. Not at all.”
“Let me just go up to my room and grab my wallet.”
“Okay. We’ll leave in fifteen minutes.”
Zane was glad she’d given him plenty of time because, once he got to his room, he decided his mother would be greatly disappointed in him if he didn’t brush his hair before going out. He also swapped his T-shirt for one that wasn’t quite so worn looking.
He spritzed a little cologne on, then found his wallet and phone and slipped them into the pocket of his shorts. Normally, he would have put jeans or nicer shorts on, but the long gym shorts were the easiest to put on over the cast and were the most comfortable.
When he made it back downstairs, Kelsey had her purse and was standing near the front door. She opened the door, then waited for him to make his way out onto the porch.
Her car was parked at the curb in front of the house, so it took him a few minutes to get to it and get settled in the front seat. As he buckled himself in, Zane glanced around the car.
It was an older model, with lots of wear and tear. He knew that the car he’d been driving when the accident happened had only been a couple of years old. Why didn’t Kelsey have a newer car, too?
“How old is this car?” he asked as she pulled away from the curb.
“Twelve years.”
“Why do you drive such an old vehicle?”
“It was what I could afford,” she said with a shrug. “And it’s still running fine, so there’s been no need for me to spend money on another one.”
“So you’re happy with it?”
“Sure. It gets me where I need to go and hasn’t left me stranded yet. So yeah, I guess I’m happy with it.”
He noticed there was a little teddy bear hanging from the mirror. He reached out to touch it. “Stuffed animal?”
“It’s an air freshener,” she said. “You… Zane…” She sighed. “You bought it for me. You said it was so that something from you would always be along for the ride.”
Zane stared at it, trying to imagine himself picking out the small bear. He had a bit of a struggle doing that.
“I guess I’m going to have to get another car,” he said.
“Are you able to drive now?”
“Since it’s my left leg that’s broken, I should be able to. I’m not sure if there’s any sort of restriction because of my concussion. No one has really said anything about my ability to drive. Most likely because I don’t currently have a car.”
“Do you think you’ll have trouble driving?”
Zane considered her question for a bit before he answered. “I don’t know. I think I’ll be okay. It wasn’t like it was my driving that resulted in the accident.”
From what he’d been told, the guy who’d hit him had been drunk, and there was nothing Zane could have done to avoid the accident, short of leaving the restaurant earlier or later.
When they reached the store, Kelsey said, “Do you want me to drop you off at the door?”
“No. I need the exercise.” Plus, to have a woman drop him off went against everything he’d been taught growing up, even if he was injured.
She found a parking spot fairly close to the entrance, then they climbed out of the car and made their way into the building. Kelsey found a cart, and together, they walked into the main part of the store.
“Did you want to go through the rest of the store before we hit the food section?” Kelsey asked.
“I wouldn’t mind checking the shoes. I’d like to get a pair that’s a little easier to put on.”
“Sure.” She looked out over the store, then gestured to the back. “I think shoes are over there.”
It took longer than he would have liked to get to the shoe section. His mobility was definitely something he really missed. He was an active person by nature, and his career required him to be on his feet for long periods of time.
He couldn’t wait until he could move around with ease once again.
“Do you want slides?” Kelsey asked as she headed down the aisle of men’s shoes.
“Ugh.”
Kelsey chuckled as she glanced his way, her eyes sparkling. “Yeah. You’ve never liked them.”
“Well, it’s good to know I didn’t lose my sense of style in the past few years.”
He sat down on one of the stools available for people to use when they tried on shoes. Though he probably should have searched for the shoes he wanted, as soon as he sat down, Kelsey began to pull shoes off the rack for his consideration.
For the next little while, he managed to put the complexities of their situation aside and just be in the moment. It was still hard to imagine that Sarah was out of his life, and he was married to someone else. But right then, he focused on being with Kelsey and tuned out thoughts and memories of Sarah.
“How about these?” Kelsey asked, showing him a pair of dark brown loafer style shoes. “They might be easy to slip on.”
Zane took them from her and set them on the floor. He bent forward to take his runner off, then tried to put the new one on. His foot slid in easy enough without a lot of effort, and he realized that she’d known his size without even asking.
It was moments like that that seemed to be solid proof of the relationship he’d been told they had. She held so much knowledge about him, but he didn’t have the same knowledge about her. It felt very unbalanced.
“These fit pretty good,” he told her.
“They have black,” she said, turning back to the shelves. “But I know you prefer brown.”
Yes, he did prefer brown.
“Are you hoping to wear these after you get the cast off, or are they just for now?”
“I’m not sure,” he said, staring down at the shoe he had on. “Why?”
“If you plan to wear them later, you’ll need more than just them working for the moment. If you don’t like the look of them—even if they’re easy to put on—you won’t wear them again.”
“I think I’d probably wear these again. They’re comfortable, which would be a bonus when I’m back in the kitchen.”
Zane tried on a few more pairs, but none were as comfortable as the first ones Kelsey had brought him.
“So you want these?” she asked as she stood next to the cart with the shoes in hand.
“Yep. I do.” He grabbed his crutches from where he’d leaned them against the shelves. “And now that I’m here, can we check out the gym shorts? I seem to be living in them these days, so I could use a few more pair.”
They left the shoe section and wandered over to the men’s section. Kelsey led the way, though she kept her pace even with his slow steps.
“Do you just want black or dark blue?” she asked when they reached a rack of gym shorts. Right away, she began to sort through them. “Here’s a nice pair.”
She held out a pair of dark blue shorts in his size. It made him wonder if they’d shopped together for clothes a lot.
He took the hanger she held out toward him. After checking the shorts over and holding them up against his waist, he put them in the cart.
“Here’s another pair.” She handed him a pair of black ones. They weren’t silky like the other pair, but the soft cotton felt nice. “How many pairs did you want?”
“Maybe two more,” he said. “I don’t want to have to be doing laundry every day.”
“Okay.” She gave him two other pairs, both of which worked for him. “Did you want more T-shirts?”
“Yeah. Maybe a couple.”
He hadn’t planned to do a major shop when he’d asked to tag along, but now that he was in the store, it made sense to pick up a few things.
“I like this color on you,” Kelsey said, holding up a lavender colored T-shirt.
He stared at it a moment, then frowned. “Uh…”
“You don’t want to look like a flower.”
“Yes. That. Exactly.”
“You never have liked to wear this color,” Kelsey said as she put the T-shirt back. “Even though I do think with your coloring, it would look really nice on you.”
Zane rested his weight on his crutches and watched Kelsey as she sorted through the T-shirts. She pulled out a couple in colors that were more in line with what he liked to wear. Again, the size was correct.
“These are a softer cotton,” Kelsey said as she turned to him. “But they’re a little more expensive.”
“I’ll go with softer,” Zane told her as he took one of the shirts. “Always.”
After a brief discussion about colors, his choices were added to the cart.
“What next?” Kelsey asked. “Do you need any toiletries?”
He thought of the meticulously organized bag of toiletries he’d found when he’d gone through everything that Kelsey had packed from their apartment. “I think I’m good.”
“I need to get a couple of things from the personal care section and then some groceries. Are you okay to keep going, or do you want to find a seat somewhere?”
“I’m fine,” he said. The pain was still there, but he was getting better at ignoring it when he had something to distract him.
In the toiletry section, she went to the hair care products and looked through the shampoos and conditioners. As he watched her smell some of them, Zane wondered what sort of scents she preferred. He should know.
He’d known what Sarah had preferred for perfume, and her hair had always smelled lightly floral. If he’d known that about a girlfriend, he had hopefully known it about a wife.
After smelling one particular bottle, she glanced in his direction, then set it in the cart.
It wasn’t long before she’d gotten the other items she needed and set them in the cart. “Now, off to get a few groceries.”
As they neared the aisles of food, she said, “You want to pick up some meat to make a meal?”
Zane scoffed, then realized that there was a bit of humor in Kelsey’s expression. “You know that I’m not a fan of the meat at stores like this.”
“Yes. I do. You’ve made that very clear.” She pushed the cart into the fruit and vegetable section. “Is there a store here in Serenity that has the type of meat you like to cook with?”
“I’m not sure about now, but there was a butcher here at one point. It took some convincing to get my folks to buy meat there, since it was more expensive, and they had a lot of mouths to feed.”
“Pretty sure you’ve been eating meals made with food from here,” Kelsey said as she stopped next to a bunch of bananas. “I don’t think Rori and Lee shop anywhere too bougie.”
“No. You’re right. They don’t.”
Kelsey put a few bananas into a bag and then set them in the cart. “You want some grapefruit? I thought I’d pick up some bagels and cream cheese as well.”
The casual question and comment again revealed that she knew his preferences.
“Though I know you’d probably rather not have the bagels from here.”
“I would like some grapefruit,” he said. “And I’ll put up with the bagels from here for now.”
After Kelsey had picked up some bagels and cream cheese, she went to the freezer aisle and stood in front of the ice cream.
“You like ice cream?” he asked.
“I do,” she said without looking at him.
“I like it too,” he told her, then realized that revelation was unnecessary when she said, “I know.”
He found it interesting that she didn’t ask him if he wanted some. She ended up choosing a container of fancy flavored ice cream, then after a brief hesitation she led him to another aisle where she picked up mini marshmallows, some nuts, and some chocolate syrup. And then there was a bag of cookies.
He knew better than to comment on a woman’s junk food choices, so he kept his mouth shut about Kelsey’s questionable food choices. Sarah got mad at him when he made any observations about her food cravings. Or rather, she used to get mad at him when he did that.
A pulse of pain went through him, and he turned away from Kelsey.
“Zane Halverson?” He glanced over to see Will’s mom approaching them with a smile. “How are you doing, sweetheart?”
She leaned in to give him a quick hug, slipping her arms around him without too much hassle despite the crutches. Perhaps her experience with Will when he’d been injured helped her with that.
“I’m doing better,” he said. “Every day is a step forward.”
“Yep. That’s how it was with Will, too. It’s such a blessing to see you up and about.” She turned to Kelsey, giving her a warm smile. “And you must be Kelsey.”
“I am.”
“I’m Alice Kennedy,” Alice said as she held out her hand to Kelsey. “Will’s mom.”
Kelsey smiled as she shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“We’ve been praying so much for both of you,” Alice said, continuing to hold Kelsey’s hand, now clasped between both of hers.
“Thank you. I very much appreciate that.”
“We’re grateful that God protected Zane, and despite the circumstances, we’re happy to see you both here in Serenity.”
She let go of Kelsey’s hand and turned back to Zane. “Do you think you’ll be staying here long term?”
Zane hadn’t looked much beyond twenty-four hours into the future since the accident. At that moment, he couldn’t see how he could stay in Serenity. But only time would tell which direction his life would take.
Their life together would take.