14
Freckles and I lay in the bed after one hell of a nightcap from the minutes we were exploring each other. Everything I was going through in my mind went away. Although Dio still being gone bothered me even if for a moment, I didn’t worry about him as I have every night since my father passed. Freckles’s leg slid up and down mine, “Where is your parents?”
she asked.
“My father committed suicide,” I paused.
It was the first time I’d ever said it out loud. It was almost some sort of relief. Her head shot up as she glanced at me, “I’m so sorry,”
she muttered.
“No need to be sorry, it was a choice he made. He literally loved my mother to death.”
“And your mom?”
I stroked her back as I gazed at the ceiling. My face tightened up.
“Zu?”
“I don’t want to talk about her. What about you, where are your parents?”
The room became silent. I glanced down at her as she stared off into the distance, “I shared something personal with you now it’s your turn,”
I told her.
She rested her chin on my chest as she looked at me. Freckles was different. She made me feel different, and I liked the feeling.
“My father he’s somewhere. I don’t know he left me with my mother when I was six.”
“Your mom?”
The way the light peeked through the blinds on her, I could see her eyes became glassy. “She’s long gone, and I don’t care. She-she put me in a situation no little girl should ever have to experience. It’s why I am the way I am,”
she explained. “Just know Glock found me, took me in and the rest is history,”
she finished.
“So that’s how you learned how to ride.”
A cute laugh fell from her lips. “Yep.”
I could only imagine what Freckles had been through. I wouldn’t force her to tell me because it was clear it was traumatic for her, and I would never send her back down memory lane. I did know she wouldn’t be here for long and while I had her; I wanted to enjoy it.
My eyes landed back on the ceiling as I began thinking about my brother. I wanted a second chance to rectify our situation, to explain to him I truly had his back. I also wanted to have one last conversation with Chevy because, although he may feel like we didn’t care if he lived or died, we did. The sound of Freckles’s heavy breathing let me know she had dosed off. I planted a sweet kiss to her forehead and tried my best to go to sleep.
***
I ran out, leaving Freckles at the crib while I grabbed her breakfast. I wanted to make sure going into this thing with her I did it right. So, what better way for a nigga to show his appreciation for someone than to bring them breakfast? My phone vibrated, and I quickly whipped it out after I parked my bike. I saw the text from Chev.
I knew they were all trying to help, but I felt like finding Dio was my job because I was the reason he ran in the first place. I walked in just as Freckles, fully clothed, came from the back. “Where you goin?” I asked.
“I don’t want to overstay my welcome,”
she smiled.
Every time she smiled; it made me want to. That little twinkle in her fucking eyes did something to a nigga, making me feel soft inside. She strolled over me and peeked in the bag. “Is this breakfast for me, moi?”
she laughed.
My lips curled up into a grin, “Yeah it’s for—”
Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!
Bullets whistled through my crib like a nigga was in a Warzone. I dropped the bag and went to snatch Freckles, but she had whipped out, shooting out the window. Oh yeah, that’s my kind of bitch. I drew my gun from my back as I opened the door, aiming outside and shooting.
Bloaw! Bloaw!
“Blaze N Fire?”
I gritted while I shot.
I rushed outside with Freckles on my heels. They took off down the street on their bikes. I hopped on mine, started it, and backed out. “Wait for me!”
she yelled as she ran down the driveway, hopping on the bike. Freckles was facing me with her legs wrapped around my waist. She glanced at me and winked. This was some movie-type shit, but I was here for it. I hauled ass down the block not too far behind them.
“Hold on baby!” I yelled.
Swerve, lean low left, back up, gear switch.
“Faster baby faster!”
she screamed.
Sixty, dive in and out of cars. Seventy swerve right. Eighty. I hit a clean wheely before slamming down.
I was so close to one of them I swerved allowing the tail of my bike to bump theirs, sending that nigga flying into traffic. When my eyes refocused on the road, I no longer saw any other riders.
“Fuck!”
I made a sharp right, pulling over. I knew it had to be because of Dio. I was breaking by the day, trying my best to keep myself together, but I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to hold my shit together. Freckles placed both her hands to the side of my face. “We’re going to find him, I promise,”
she said, then kissed my lips.
Her being here with me through all of this was almost therapeutic because had Freckles not been around, I would probably be dead trying to find my fucking brother.
Both my sisters sat on the couch, staring at me. I knew it was super late, but I needed to get this off my chest. The sound of Yana yawning made me stop pacing the floor.
“Daddy is not my Daddy,”
I blurted out.
Both Navi and Yana glanced at each other, then at me. “What do you mean Daddy is not your Daddy?”
Navi asked.
“Ma said she had me before she met him and I feel so betrayed, so lost,”
I whimpered.
Navi shot up from the couch, “I knew his ass had more secrets. I knew it!”
I glanced at her curiously, “Wait, what you mean secrets this was Ma’s fault because I’m her daughter and she should have said something!”
I shouted.
“Zari, whether it’s by blood or not that man raised you like his own he’s still your Daddy.”
She didn’t understand. There was a part of me that was hidden, one I knew nothing about. It explained why I seemed so different from them and the fact she couldn’t see it only frustrated me. Navi walked up to me embracing me in a hug. “You didn’t need him anyway. He wasn’t who we thought he was,”
she whispered.
I pulled away from staring her in the face. Navi had changed so much. She went from loving the man I called my father so much to not giving one red fucking cent about him, and I needed to know why.
“Tell me, everything,” I said.
She glanced at Yana the back at me. “He did some horrible things. He’s part of the reason Chevy is who he is, and he was willing to let that man go to jail just because he didn’t like Preach. He was so vindictive that he cared only about protecting his fucking imagine. So yes, he had secrets and yes, he deserved what he got. They should have—”
“Navi!”
Yana shouted.
“Wait so y’all men killed him? Is that what you are saying?”
I couldn’t believe my ears. Was this the year of the truth? Because for the last couple of months, everyone had been showing their true colors. No, my daddy wasn’t perfect, but he didn’t deserve to die. I was angry, not only at my mother for her lies, but at my sisters for not even sharing with me what they knew and now I was mad at Chevy for trying to mind fuck me when his fucked-up crew is responsible for the death of the man I knew as my father. I snatched my keys heading for the door, “Zaria wait!”
was all I heard before walking out.
I hopped in my car doing eighty in a thirty. My mind was going a hundred miles an hour. It should have taken me forty-five minutes to get to where I needed to be, but I got there in thirty. I parked the car, hopped out, and stormed to the door, banging on it.
I heard the locks click, and then the door opened. I pushed my way inside. The smell that lingered in the house made me shake my head. It was like some kind of magic brewing in the air.
I immediately went off, “Why!”
I shouted. “Why did you and your fucked up friends kill my daddy!”
Chevy stood there watching me, unbothered. He’d crossed his arms over his chest as he rested against the wall. The gray sweatpants he had on were so fucking distracting. I shook my head, landing my eyes back on his.
He held up one finger. “First, stop yelling sweetheart because my plants can hear that shit. Second, you need to calm down, you want a drink?”
I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply, “I don’t want a fucking drink, I want to know why! And before you repeat that dumb ass line, fuck you and these plants!”
I shouted again.
He removed himself from the wall, coming closer to me. His eyes always stayed on mine. The way he crept over to me was like a lion who found their prey. I was sinking deeper into his eyes by the second.
Calm down, please.
Don’t tell me what to do.
He had gotten so close that his cologne became like a noose around my neck. He began circling me. “You come here demanding answers you are not ready for. You come to my fucking house screaming. If you want to scream sweetheart, I can make that happen, but unless it’s me who’s doing it keep that fucking fly trap closed,”
he growled. “Now, are you ready to talk?”
I sucked in a deep breath as I tried watching him over my shoulders, “Why did your friends kill him?”
Round and round.
“You’re not ready,”
he whispered.
“Tell me,”
I mumbled.
Round and round.
“You are not ready for the truth.”
Round and round.
I began feeling emotional; something was happening. My tears betrayed me as they began running down my face. The only man I knew was gone and something was telling me the man that captured me, holding my soul hostage, is responsible for his death.
“I-I am,”
I sniffled.
Round and round.
“No, you’re not.”
Round and round.
“Stop, and tell me,”
I choked up.
Round and round.
The tears wouldn’t stop. Chevy had me losing my mind by the second. Like I was stuck in his vortex and couldn’t get out.
Round and round.
It wasn’t until I became dizzy that Chevy had finally stopped behind me. “I killed him, not them,”
he said bluntly.
I swung around eye to eye. Lips to lips. It was so hard to fight whatever it was. I pushed away from him, “Stop doing that shit!”
I screamed. “Stop!”
Chevy took both my wrists, swinging me, slamming my hands above my head as he pinned me against the wall. “I said stop yelling, my plants can hear that shit!”
he gritted. “So, again, I killed that nigga. It’s not what you wanted to hear is it?”
Tears poured out of me, “Chevy let me go,”
I cried. “You took the only man I know as my father. You know nothing of what that feels like because you’re a fucked-up person. You took it upon yourself to be someone’s God! Karma’s a bitch,”
I finished.
He moved closer. “Look at me,”
his raspy voice whispered.
“No.”
“Zaria, look at me,”
he asked again.
My eyes open to a blurry Chevy. I wanted the tears to stop, but they wouldn’t. Chevy’s tongue trailed my tears as it slid up my face and over my cheeks. He planted the softest kiss to my eyelids. “I don’t like tears. If I have to consume them every time you cry I will. This is not what I wanted, but you asked.”
“Let me go, fuck you!”
Chevy released my arms. I shoved him out of the way as I headed for the door and for the first time, I could hear his thoughts without looking at him.
Let me explain.
I paused with flutters running through me. I was so conflicted, but this man blatantly said he killed my father, yet I didn’t want to leave.
Chevy, leave me the fuck alone!
I opened the door and left.