40. Disowned
Disowned
Liam
The door clicked shut and I leaned against the side of Cerise’s house, heart in my throat. I could hear her crying inside—deep, heartbreaking sobs—but I wasn’t brave enough to go back in there.
I was a fucking coward.
I had ruined everything, and Cerise was right.
It was my fault. I kept her up too late, distracted her, pushed her too hard to just let go…
to the point where she missed out on something she was invested in.
And even though, deep down, I knew her heart wasn’t really in academia the way it used to be, she had to be the one to figure that out on her own.
But me causing her to miss her presentation would not help the situation.
“Fuck!” I shouted, gripping the strap of my bag.
I never should have made that comment about her being like her mother. It wasn’t true. She wasn’t like her at all. I was just hurt and scared and angry.
An idiot. A fool.
And now the woman I loved wanted nothing to do with me.
I desperately wanted to go back inside and apologize.
Wrap her in my arms and hold her as she cried, assuring her everything was going to be all right.
Then again, a part of me wanted to shout at her for being so short-sighted, for letting her drive affect our relationship.
To shake her and say, “Can’t you see how happy you are when we’re together?
How happy you make me? Can’t you see I would do anything for you? ”
I would get on my knees and beg if I had to. Beg her to see exactly what she was pushing away. That I wasn’t just someone who loved her ‘despite’ her quirks. I was someone who loved her because of them.
But something I’d learned about Cerise in the last few months was that she had to come to these realizations on her own. Pushing would do us no good. In fact, it would probably push her further away.
So, with a broken heart, I took one last look at her house, and headed down the road to find a carriage home.
I sat across from my sister at our favorite restaurant, sipping my beer as she took a drink of her red wine.
It had been two weeks since my fight with Cerise and I hadn’t heard anything from her. If I sat alone in my house any longer I was going to lose my mind, so I had called Ellie to meet me for dinner.
“How was the family after I left dad’s birthday party?” I asked. We hadn’t had the chance to debrief due to her traveling for work.
“Do you really want to know?”
I took a bite of a carrot. “Not really, but I probably should be aware.”
Ellie gave me a grim smile. “Mother was her usual self. Otto and Callahan…well, you know how they are. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“And Father?”
She winced. “It was bad.”
“What happened?”
She set her fork down and took a breath. “He disowned you.”
I barked a laugh, so loud we earned curious looks from the other patrons. “That’s it?”
“Liam. That’s bad. He’s never done that before.”
I shrugged. “Honestly, it’s about time. I have no desire to see that man again.”
She pursed her lips. “I know. It’s just—I’ve never seen him that upset before. I heard Cerise stepped in and stood up for you. I don’t think he liked that. It made him look bad.”
My heart twisted at Cerise’s name, but I tried to ignore it. “No one else saw.”
“One of dad’s associates overheard. He was passing the office when it happened. And then it spread that a woman put him in his place so he practically publicly disowned you.”
“I really don’t care. Good riddance.” I paused, studying my sister. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to get in the middle of this.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault at all. Father is who he is and you are who you are. You know I’ll always support you. No matter what happens.”
I squeezed her hand. I was lucky to have her. It didn’t bother me that she still had relationships with my parents and brothers. They didn’t treat her the way they treated me and she had figured out her own ways to deal with my father. At least I had one family member in my corner.
“Are you all right?” Ellie asked, green eyes missing nothing. “You seem…off.”
I sighed. “Not really, actually.”
She waited for me to elaborate, so I told her everything.
She knew Cerise and I had decided to try a long distance relationship but hadn’t known about the most recent fight we’d had.
After I finished, she was quiet. I waited not so patiently for her to say something.
My older sister always gave excellent advice.
“What do you want?” she asked.
“Her,” I responded immediately.
“Have you talked to her since?”
I shook my head. “I’ve tried calling but she isn’t answering her phone.”
“What about a letter?”
“I sent one. Apologizing for everything. But haven’t heard back.”
She tapped her fingers on the table. “I don’t think you should just randomly show up. At least not yet.”
I adjusted my glasses. “I know. It will scare her. I just…fuck, Ellie. I don’t want to lose her. I knew it would be hard, but this is killing me. I don’t think it’s over. I can’t let myself believe that. I just think she needs time. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Liam…never in my life have I seen you behave this way because of a woman. I could tell you two had a connection even on the day we found you in the jungle. And then again at dad’s party.
Even though you’re so different, the two of you are perfect for each other.
You fit. But Cerise has convinced herself she is supposed to act and behave a certain way, and you have shaken that up for her.
She’s lost and confused and doesn’t know how to handle all the change.
And if she’s as uptight as you say she is, she really hates change. ”
“So what the fuck do I do about it?” I groaned, my forehead finding my palm.
“Give her space. You said you knew her friend, right?”
“Sort of. Emberly is kind. We get along well.”
“Well, then. Stop contacting Cerise for now. If you bombard her with endless letters, it will probably backfire. Why don’t you talk to Emberly? See what she thinks? Find out how Cerise is doing.”
It was a good idea. Emberly seemed to think Cerise and I were good for each other and had been pleased when I stole her away at the gala. Perhaps she would be helpful. Maybe give me advice on how to earn Cerise’s forgiveness.
“All right,” I responded with renewed hope. “I’ll call her.”