Chapter 17 #2
My girl winces as I wipe her tears away, instantly replacing them with fresh ones. The skin on her face burns and her wails grow louder, reverberating through the room as they raze through my soul.
“I’m not your baby,” she snarls. “I’m not your fucking anything.”
“You’re my mate, Nia. You’re my mate. I’m sorry you find that so disgusting.”
She thrashes against the cuffs that bind her to the headboard. Her movements turn wild as she rails against all of it. All of the pain and hurt she’s been through and everything that’s been done to her. Nia’s fighting without direction, channeling her rage into every protest that she makes.
And she isn’t letting up. She isn’t backing down.
“Nia, stop.”
“FUCK. YOU.”
She carries on screaming and I grab her chest, slamming her down onto the mattress. Her eyes shoot wide and their pale grey glistens for a moment, locked onto me as if they’re praying I’ll save her.
“I won’t let them hurt you, Nia. I won’t let anyone hurt you anymore.”
My girl stares up at me and her lips part just enough for me to know she’s shocked.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”
“Liar.”
Damn. “Please, Nia. I adore you.”
“Like hell you do.”
“Nia, I know I’ve made some mistakes but…”
“I reject you.”
I stop and she stares at me, absolutely determined. Nia's trying to do the unthinkable. She's trying to reject the gift that the Moon Goddess bestows on us, and she's decided that she doesn't want what's holy. What's sacred. What's mine.
Lawson growls and every instinct in me tells me to grab her and shake her until she sees reason. My wolf turns feral and his teeth bare, threatening to shred my insides if that’s what’s needed to get to his mate.
Nia's trying to break our connection and our bond. She's going against fate, against divine intention, and she's going against me. I might not have wanted her, and heaven knows if I can do this with her, but I won't let her reject me, not when it's a sacrilege and not when she's mine.
And I won't let her go. Not now. Not ever.
“I reject you and your wolf. My wolf does too.” Her voice is a hot mess of anger and she’s completely sure of herself. “It’s done, Luke. We’re done.”
“We’re not done, Nia.”
“WE’RE FUCKING DONE.”
Her breathing quickens and she freezes, unsure what to do next.
She’s confused and hurting, clearly overwhelmed.
I’m not calm either and my wolf is so damn agitated it’s practically impossible to hear anything but his howls of pain.
I need to find my center and I can’t, caught in a whirlwind of emotion that threatens to carry me away.
Nia’s lost too, and I need to save her. I need to reach her.
This isn’t the time for cowardice. It’s the time to make a choice and act.
I’ve spent years hating her for one single moment in her life.
The little girl lying in front of me ruined my life, but now she’s here and she’s brought it back again.
It’s time to forgive the child who killed my father and find a way to save the woman she’s become.
It's time I grew the fuck up and acted like a man. Even if he isn’t a very good one, it’s about time I fucking tried.
“Your wolf didn’t reject me,” I snarl and her eyes shoot wide.
“I won’t accept it, sweetheart, and there’s not a chance I’m quitting.
I’ve found you and I’m not letting you go.
No matter what you do, Nia. You’re meant to be mine and I’m meant to be yours, and not a fucking thing you could do would change my mind on this. ”
Nia whimpers and I stare down at her, softening as I try to show her how much she means to me. She doesn’t need to know how I know, not right now. Later, we’ll talk about it, but now isn’t the time to make my problems her problems. Now is the time to heal and try to bring us back together.
“You’re mine, Nia, and I was wrong to doubt this.
I’d do anything to keep you safe and my feelings know no limits.
They have no boundaries. My devotion is unconditional, sweetheart.
” I pause and take a final breath, praying a disaster doesn’t become a catastrophe.
“I know because you’ve hurt me too, Nia.
It’s why I pushed you away. It's why I fought this so fucking hard.”
Hope floods through her irises and their grey turns to silver.
Nia’s alive and she’s clinging on, somehow fighting for what we have.
Maybe she feels our connection. Maybe she recognizes what we are.
Maybe she wants to believe this could be her salvation.
Maybe she’s confused or maybe it’s all of this and more.
It doesn’t matter because my girl is fighting to stay in this fight, and it’s the flash of light I needed.
“Tell me what you need, Nia.” My hands tighten on her shoulders and she doesn’t wince. “Tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you. I’ll do anything. I’ll prove anything. Just tell me what you need.”
Nia pants and my heart beats in time with hers. We’re spiraling, hurtling around each other as our emotions explode and collide in some crazed and frantic cacophony that drowns out every other noise.
“Take the tube out.”
My eyebrow arches.
“Untie me and take the fucking tube out, Luke.” Her jaw tightens and she means it. “If I’m your mate, stop torturing me.”
I sway and her logic is faultless. It’s a breathtakingly simple thing to ask for and a fiendishly complicated decision to make.
Nia hasn’t eaten of her own accord in a week and she’ll hate me even more if I force another tube down her.
She won’t forgive it and I won’t allow her to starve to death, but she’s asking me to take that risk.
The girl who’s too weak to overpower me is asking me to trust her, and I don’t know if I can do it. Fuck, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it.
“You need to eat, Nia.”
Those startlingly beautiful eyes narrow as she stares at me. “You’re serious?”
“That tube went down because you wouldn’t eat. It’s stayed down because you wouldn’t eat. Promise to eat and it comes out. Refuse to eat and it goes back in.”
“You’re such a cunt.”
I nod. “Be grateful, sweetheart. It kept you alive.” I watch a smile threaten her lips and Lawson eases back, giving me some breathing room. “Promise me you’ll eat, Nia. I can’t let you waste away and it’ll break my heart to shove another tube down you.”
Her eyes roll and I’m sure she appreciates my concern for her wellbeing.
“Fine, we’ll split meals. If it’s poisoned, you’ll eat it too.”
I smirk and take my victory, refusing to let her snideness get in the way.
Nia and I have found an understanding, and our truce might be uneasy but it’s a beginning.
It’s a chance to make things right and as long as she sticks to her side of it, her wolf will return and she’ll finally feel our connection.
“Malcolm will take it out,” I say, dropping my head slowly and placing a chaste kiss on her cheek. “He’ll be here in a few minutes and then I’ll untie you.”
“Untie me now.”
“You’ll get hurt if you rip it out, sweetheart, and you won’t wait for the doctor.
” I kiss her face again, relieved she doesn’t fight me for a second time and I wonder if I hear her moan in approval.
“Besides, I’m enjoying the sight of you tied to this bed, and it’s going to be a long time before you let me tie you back up again. ”