Chapter 33
After spending hours in the gym trying to force myself to shift to no avail, I’m sitting in Ahearn’s class, watching the rest of the shifters running around in shifted forms, trying not to succumb to petty jealousy.
More than anything else, trying not to think about Bane and what I’d learned about him, although I’ll have to at some point.
I’ll have to go through everything that happened, trying to figure out what it is that he did to try to stop me from awakening his powers.
Was it his eyes?
Was it half a year of crappy teaching?
Was it the coffee?
Or was it simply seducing me and getting me to spend gods know how many hours sleeping with him and obsessing over him?
That’s how spectacularly I’m failing to stop myself from thinking about it.
Even now, with the moon stone inside me, there are sobs threatening to rise from the depths of my stomach and carry me away on a tidal wave of anger, sadness, desperation, hatred and the purest, most blinding pain I’ve ever felt.
“It’s all improv, Novak,” his words keep ringing in my head. “You need to get people to think they’re on the verge of getting what they desire most in this world. And how will you know what they desire most in this world until you start talking to them?”
To think I admitted to changing my name.
Even worse, to think I almost told him about my father.
I have to grit my teeth and turn to look out the window when I realize I’m about to start actually crying.
My phone pings. It’s an email from Serra. “I just told him, but I’m sorry, Anna, he’s not buying the lie about it being a bad fit.”
My mind goes blank.
Practically the very next moment, my phone starts vibrating.
It’s him, calling.
I swallow around a lump in my throat. That’s fine, it’ll stop.
It doesn’t stop. The phone keeps vibrating and soon, I realize I’ll have to make a decision. If I want to try to stick with the lie, I’ll have to make it all much less suspicious.
I grit my teeth, but I reject the current call and type, “I’m in class.”
He’s already typing. “What’s this about me no longer being your mentor?”
Come on, just do it, I tell myself. “It’s not a good fit anymore.”
“Now you’re just parroting Naehorn’s words back. I want an actual answer, Anna.”
I can hear the tone. I take a second to think.
“Sooner rather than later,” another text comes as I keep trying to decide.
Maybe it would be smarter to reply to this one as well, but it’s just so painful, even seeing his name at the top of the screen.
And well, I’m in class, right? I did tell him that. So I put my phone down and go back to watching the other students.
A couple of minutes go by in silence.
Then my head snaps to my right when the gym door flies open and in he comes, his eyes searching for mine first, landing on them for a second and sending bitterness flooding to my mouth before he turns to the professor, everyone’s eyes on him.
“Excuse the interruption, Professor Ahearn,” he says in a tense, commanding voice, “but I’ll need Miss Novak to come with me.”
“Of course,” I hear her say.
But I can’t even look at him. Without a conscious decision, I say, “I’m sorry, Professor Bane. I thought you”d been informed, but I’m no longer required to come to special classes.”
For a second, he just stands there, staring at me with his eyes narrowing. “I see,” he finally says. “Well, carry on then.”
He walks out the door, slamming it behind him.
I breathe a sigh of relief.
When the bell rings and I walk out the gym, I find him pushing himself off the wall he was leaned against, waiting with a scowl on his face.
“What the hell is going on?” he demands, making the students rushing past throw us these funny looks.
I glance around, more so that I can collect myself. “What is it exactly that’s confusing you?” I say in the lightest voice I can muster. I shrug. “It’s been months and I still haven’t even had my first shift. It’s time to move on.”
I move to walk away.
“None of that explains the way you’re treating me,” he says as he comes to block my way.
For a second, we just look at each other.
Then I take a deep breath. “Alright,” I say. “I guess I just see this as a good opportunity to move on in general.”
Surprise flashes through his eyes. Then he collects himself. “Really?” he drawls with suspicion in his voice.
“Yes.”
“And why’s that?”
I shrug. “Taking what you want in the moment, that’s what you said is part of being a shifter. Sometimes it just means letting go of things you don’t want anymore.” And I keep looking at him, fighting not to show how upset this is all making me.
He takes a step closer and I take a step back, making his eyes narrow even more. “Come on, what’s really going on?” he asks, his gaze dragging down my body. “Everything about you seems off today.”
I fold my arms. “I just told you.”
“No,” he says with a forceful shake of his head. “I’ve had it with the hiding, Anna.” And he moves to take me by the arm, already leaning to take a whiff of me.
“No, don’t touch me,” I fail to stop myself from spitting out as I take a step back.
He freezes in place, his eyes rounding in more than surprise as he slowly lowers his hand. “No?” he echoes softly, looking at me as if in a haze.
“No,” I repeat firmly, taking another step back.
I watch his face flush and his chest start to heave. “You out to make a fool out of me, huh?” he demands a little breathlessly as he takes another step closer, though he doesn’t try to touch me. “Make me open up to you one day and discard me the next?”
“Fool?” I echo with a shake of my head. “That’s one thing you’re not.”
For some reason, that makes his features twist into an expression of pained anger. “One thing, huh? That’s right, I’m not,” he grits out, “because I couldn’t care less, whether I see you ever again.”
“Good,” I say with a nod. “Then we’re on the same page.”
And I turn on my heel and start walking away.
Keep walking, I tell myself, but I just can’t. Knowing I might not see him ever again, it’s just making it impossible for me not to at least say goodbye.
I stop and look over my shoulder, finding him standing there, just as he was. “Goodbye, Bane,” I say. “Have a good life.”