Chapter 21 #2
My stomach drops. If he insists, then I’ll probably have to inevitably tell him the truth. Or he’ll see it for himself if that sales associate comes back, and then he’ll really get upset. “Oh. I’m good. I think I’m kind of tired of shopping for the day. What else do you have planned?”
His eyes narrow further. “Scoot over,” he says gruffly, and I move to sit on the side of the stool, but it’s not that big of a seat. We are going to be way too close together.
Realizing that, I just stand up. “You can have it. I’ve been sitting there for a bit.”
A low growl of frustration escapes his lips, surprising me.
He grabs my hips and pulls me back on his lap.
“I don’t want to sit because I’m tired. I want to sit because I want to be near you so you can’t hide your face from me, little leannán.
” He tucks my hair behind my ear so he can see my face better.
“Now, why don’t you tell me what happened? ”
My chest feels like a tightly wound spring, coiled with tension and ready to burst apart.
I feel the heat of his thigh underneath me, and my monkey brain is very aware of it, too.
I’m shocked by the temptation that flitters in my head to grind myself against his thigh, looking for friction.
I shake such silly thoughts from my head.
His chest is against my back as he turns my chin to look at him.
Our faces are mere inches apart, and suddenly it’s difficult to breathe. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He tightens his hold on my chin, still gentle, but tight enough for me to know he means business.
“Don’t lie to me, leannán. I don’t ask much from you in this relationship, but that’s one thing I insist on.
I’m not someone to lie to. Even if you feel like it’s what I want, it isn’t.
I want your raw truth, even if it’s hard for me to hear, do you understand me? ”
I give a small nod, feeling a bit startled by the fire I see in his eyes. He’s never been anything but gentle with me. But this is the closest that I’ve come to angering him, and it only causes me anxiety. And maybe a little arousal, not that I’d let that show.
His hand moves to cup my cheek, his thumb stroking against my skin softly. “Good. Now, you were going to tell me what happened, weren’t you?”
He arches his brow expectantly. I nod again, and he taps my cheek gently before releasing it. “Good. Go ahead, then, leannán.”
I take a deep breath. “I…well, I did find one thing I liked, but it was high up on a shelf. And I asked a sales associate for help, but I think she could tell that I’m in…
well, Walmart clothes, so she didn’t want to put in the effort to get them down for me.
It’s kind of a reality check for me, that’s all. ”
There’s a flicker of annoyance and anger on his face as he listens to me. “A reality check for what, leannán? Because, let me tell you, any reality check you think it is, it’s not. She was in the wrong, not you.”
I sigh. I knew that would be his response. “Well, I don’t really belong in this world, do I? The glitz, the glamor. People can tell that I’m not wealthy. I can’t blame her for not wanting to get them down when it’s safe to assume I’m not going to actually buy them.”
His eyes narrow into thin slits. “And who says you don’t belong in this world?
You’ll be my wife, and so you belong with me, and this is my world.
Do you understand me? You’re just as deserving of buying from this store as anyone else.
Now, she was rude and didn’t do her job correctly.
Even if you didn’t buy those shoes, it’s her job to get them down for you.
She was just being lazy and unprofessional.
She judged you, and she judged wrong. Now, I think it’s past time she learns to do her job properly.
” He stands up, gaze already seeking out someone who works here.
I stand up hastily and lay a hand on his arm. “Please don’t cause a scene. It’s not worth it.”
His head snaps towards me, eyes flickering down to my hand on his arm, and then at my face.
“You are worth any and every scene that I make. Do you understand me, leannán? If I have to yell in every store we go to so that you’re treated with the respect you deserve, I’ll do it.
Even if it’s for the rest of our lives, do I make myself clear? ”
I swallow thickly, feeling that spring coil tighter in my chest. I want to blurt out I’m not worth it, even if you think so, you’re incorrect.
But I know that’ll only make him more determined to prove me wrong.
I’m not sure if it’s even about me anymore, or if he just sees me as an extension of himself, so the sales attendant turning her nose up at me is an affront to his ego.
“Yes, you make yourself clear,” I say quietly, pulling my hand from his arm awkwardly and playing with the seam of my sleeve again.
His hand reaches out to cover mine. “Leannán. Look at me.” He tilts my chin up so I look him in the eyes. “You must learn not to let people walk all over you. You didn’t with me, so why would some harmless sales associate be any different?”
I chew on my cheek. “Because it was necessary with you. It isn’t necessary here.”
He tilts his head, eyes narrowing again. “Please explain.”
I sigh. “Do I have to? It just was.”
His eyes narrow more, and I see a spark of that fire again. “Leannán.”
“All right.” I look off to the side, wishing I could curl up and disappear.
“I don’t like being a bother. And, if I let you coddle me, then I would be.
And it wouldn’t even be worth it, since it wasn’t the right kind of help.
I can take care of myself just fine. And that’s true here, too.
I don’t need to cause a scene. That would just be an unnecessary bother. ”
He stares at me for a long moment, making me more nervous.
Finally, he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, straightening his back.
“You’ve been made to feel like a burden all your life, leannán.
Like you don’t even have the right to exist, take up space, or ask for things.
But that’s going to change now, do you understand me?
” I nod, but he doesn’t seem to think that’s a good enough answer.
“Leannán. I mean it. I want you to ask for help, to let yourself be loud and to tell me to bugger off, or anyone else for that matter. Use that pretty mouth of yours to speak up for yourself, do you understand?”