17. Logan
LOGAN
My duffel bag sits open on the floor, and I stare at it as I roll my shoulder. A transport is coming to collect me in two hours to take me to Fort Bragg, and I should be packed by now. A few hours and I’ll be back doing what I love, what I was made for.
Part of me tingles with excitement. I thought that was it for me. I was out. But you’re not out until the military says you’re out. And I have no option but to obey orders.
And let Savanna down again.
I try to call her again, but it goes straight to voicemail.
I’ve already left her two messages asking her to call me urgently, but she hasn’t gotten back to me.
I’m not surprised after I revealed what I’d done.
I hope she’ll see it for what it is—a man in love trying to let her go and failing miserably.
I hope the time we’ve spent together in the past few weeks is enough to make her realize how good we are together.
The past few weeks have been heavenly, getting to know Savanna again and falling for her all over again. I can’t do this to her a second time. I can’t just leave. Not when she’s given me her heart again.
But if I don’t follow orders, I’ll be dishonorably discharged. No pension, no honor.
I sit heavily on the bed and run a hand over my stubble. Either way, I’m screwed.
My phone rings, and it’s my father. I haven’t managed to speak to him, and if I’m going back into the field, I may not get the chance.
“Hey, Gordon.” I never call him Dad because he wasn’t one to me. He was away on deployments when I was small and then left for good when I was seven.
“Logan.” His voice sounds tired and croaky. “Where are you living these days? I’m thinking of coming to visit.”
My father rarely visits me. There will be an angle here. I just don’t know what it is yet.
“I’m still serving, you know that. Maybe when I get back, I’ll come visit you. I don’t have room for Tina and the girls.”
“No need to make room for them. It would just be me.”
“Have you left her?”
There’s a long silence. “Things weren’t working between us. The girls are hard to manage; it puts a strain on a marriage.”
And that’s my father, cutting out when the going gets tough. Leaving another ex-wife with kids to raise on her own.
“Kids are hard, isn’t that the point? You stick it out for them?”
He huffs out a long sigh. “You don’t understand. You’ve done the right thing, Logan, not tying yourself down. Marriage is hard, especially when you’re in the military.”
“You’ve been out for ten years.”
The worst thing is that I’m not even surprised. Just sorry for Tina and my half-sisters. But I’m not going to give my father an easy time.
“You can’t come and stay with me. I’m shipping out. Go back to Tina. Try to make it work.”
I hang up and chuck the phone onto my bed. He’s right. Relationships are hard in the military. I saw my father try twice and fail. But that can’t be his excuse with Tina. He’s been out since before they met.
It’s my father who’s the common denominator here. It’s him who can’t stick it out for the long haul.
I check my phone in case I missed a call from Savanna. There’s nothing.
I could take the easy route, like my father, and walk away. But I’m not him. I’m not going to walk away from Savanna because things are tough. If I walk away twice, there is no coming back. She’s given me a second chance; she won’t give me a third.
And if she’s heard I’ve been recalled, she’ll already be closing me off again.
I’ll recover from a dishonorable discharge, but I will never get a third chance with Savanna. It can still be her decision, but damn it, I’m going to give her a better option.