18. Savanna
SAVANNA
The door closes behind my first patient, and I press my forehead against the wood and let out a long sigh. I have no idea how I managed to get through the appointment while my heart aches and my entire body is heavy with grief.
There’s a knock at the door, and I consider pretending I’m not here. I have no patients scheduled for the next hour. But it might be Joel, and I need to remain professional and pretend my heart isn’t breaking.
I straighten my back, take a deep breath, and open the door.
Logan stands in the corridor, disheveled and all the more handsome for it.
If he’s here to say goodbye, then I’d rather get this over with.
And once he’s gone, I’ll tell Joel I’m sick and go home and not get out of bed for three days.
Cassie will say, ‘I told you so,’ and I’ll be the stupid girl who let the same man break her heart twice.
“Savanna.” He reaches for me, but I step backward. He follows me into the room and closes the door behind him.
“When do you leave?” My voice is flat, but it doesn’t crack, and I’m proud of myself. I won’t show Logan how much it hurts.
“I’m not.” Logan looks as pained as I do, and it takes a moment for his words to register.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I’m not leaving you, Savanna.” He puts his hands on my shoulders, but I don’t trust what he’s saying.
“You have orders. They want you back. I get it. We had fun, but you have to leave.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not going to leave you.
Didn’t my sorry crinkled envelope demonstrate that?
I wasted too many years watching you from afar.
From now on, I want to be right here, by your side, if you’ll have me.
I won’t give you up again, Savanna. I don’t care what the military does.
I don’t care what I’ll lose. I want to be with you. ”
He sinks onto one knee and takes my hands in his. “I want to tie myself to you, so you know that I’ll never leave you again. I love you. I never stopped loving you. Will you marry me?”
I clasp a hand over my mouth as emotion swells inside me. To know he’s choosing me above all else is everything.
“I love you too.” Tears well in my eyes and I choke up, unable to speak. I thought I was losing him again, and now he wants to tie himself to me. It’s everything I needed to hear.
“Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Logan gets to his feet and pulls me close, and his arms close around me. I’m happy, but it’s also too much. He’s giving up too much.
I pull back, and he wipes the tears from my cheeks. “You can’t walk away from your career for me.”
He shrugs. “I’d give it all up for you, Savanna.”
I shake my head. “You don’t have to, Logan.
You set me free once so I could follow my dreams. I won’t squash yours.
I have a life here, friends, independence.
I’ll miss you when you’re away, but I won’t let you give up the thing you love for me, especially not like this.
You have orders, and you need to go. I understand that.
I’ll be right here waiting for you when you get back. ”
He tilts his head. “Are you making decisions for me now?”
I shake my head. “It’s still your choice. But giving up your career is not the only scenario in which we get to be together.”
He presses his lips together, and emotion crosses his face. “It’s not just that. I’ve seen what the military does to marriages. A lot of them don’t survive.”
“And a lot of them do. We’re not young like we were. We both know what we’re getting into. And you are not your father. If you want to stay in the Army, then we’ll make this work.”
“Are you sure? I would give it up for you, whatever the consequences.”
“You’d be court-martialed. I appreciate that you’d risk that for me, but it’s not necessary. Go. Do what you need to do. I’ll be here when you get back.”
He kisses the top of my head. “You’re already the best wife ever.”
My body tingles. “I like that word.”
He smiles at me, and his expression heats up. “Wife.”
I pull him closer and press my hips against his. “How long until you have to leave?”
He checks the wall clock. “Ninety minutes.”
I flick the door locked behind him.
He chuckles. “I thought the treatment room was out of bounds.”
“Then we’d better be quick.”
He kisses me long and hard, and I melt into him. Whatever the future holds for us, we’ll decide together.