Chapter 54
ELLIE
The paper bag holding my bottle of wine is clutched to my chest protectively as I ride the elevator up to my room. I’ve never needed it more.
I already went out once and hit all the bakeries in a three-block radius, but when I got back, I realized I didn’t get anything to drink.
So, I went back for some alcohol to wash them down with.
I’m normally not an emotional drinker. I like to have fun when I drink, not get all sad.
My period must be coming because I’m extra emotional tonight. I plan to eat my body weight in donuts.
It has nothing to do with the events that have unfolded over the last couple of hours.
I was upset seeing Travis talking to Calvin, but after I cooled off, I realized I should give him a chance to explain.
After the show, I went backstage to find him.
Calvin stopped me in the hall. He said Travis was with a girl and didn’t want to be disturbed.
I instantly felt sick. I thought he was lying, but I could hear a girl in the room talking.
Fury erupted from everything I’ve been bottling up tight, and I unleashed it on Calvin. I told him I knew about his little drug dealing, and if he didn’t knock it off, I was going to tell. It was only a threat—I didn’t know Tanner was behind me.
I was so torn up, I called Liv and confessed everything—not the drugs—that’s not my story to tell, but everything that’s happened between Travis and me and how I thought maybe I was...I don’t even want to say it now.
Falling for him.
I stare at the donut bracelet that I stupidly thought meant something more and bite back tears. Angry tears, sad tears—it’s all the same. I’m tossing it in the trash.
As soon as I step into my room, something feels off.
“Where have you been?”
I jump back, shrieking, and flip the light on to find Travis sitting on my bed.
Sneaky sonofabitch. My heart’s pounding like a caged bird, but I do my best to remain calm.
Ignoring him, I stroll into the room, instantly noticing my donuts aren’t stacked by the door where I left them.
I’d only popped in long enough to set them down.
“Don’t ignore me.”
I feel him glaring as he follows me, but I refuse to acknowledge him. Where was I? Ha! Where was he? Better yet, what was he doing?
My whole body stiffens when I step into the kitchen.
“What happened to my donuts!?” I cry, seeing the trash can piled high with boxes.
There isn’t enough room for them, so some are on the counter.
The boxes are all smashed in, like someone beat the crap out of them.
I spin around, shooting Travis a scowl. “What did you do?” I demand, jamming my finger into his chest.
“Me? Your donuts nearly broke my goddamn neck! Why would you leave them by the door? It took me forever to clean that shit up. I had to shower and everything!”
I want to laugh, picturing him falling over a pile of donuts, but I’m too upset. “Stay out of my room! I can’t believe you!” I throw my bag on the counter and yank out the bottle of wine. Unscrewing the top, I take a long drink as I shoot daggers at him.
“Ellie...” he says so calmly it grates on my nerves.
I keep drinking until I need to catch my breath, then I place the bottle on the counter. “Have fun with your little groupie tonight?” I can’t fucking help but ask. And I hate myself for it.
His brows fly up. “Groupie?” Confusion wrinkles his forehead, then a slow smirk spreads across his face.
Anger prickles my skin. My face burns to the tips of my ears. I don’t get jealous. I’m not jealous. I’m pissed that I let myself get sucked into his orbit again.
“Why the hell are you smiling?”
“I just didn’t know you got jealous, and I didn’t know it would turn me on so much. Fuck, I’m getting hard right now.”
I don’t mean to look down, but my eyes are traitors and always so eager to see his dick. I snap out of it. I’m mad at him. When I meet his gaze again, his knowing grin grows bigger.
“You can go.”
“We need to talk.”
“Don’t think we do.” I glance around, wondering how he managed to destroy four dozen donuts. I got a variety from different places to test out. I wasn’t going to eat them all. I was going to share them with the guys and crew in the morning.
“I saved some. They’re over there.” He points to a plate at the end of the counter. “Come here.” He grabs my hand and leads me over to the bed. “I’m sorry about my text. I know what happened now. I’m sorry I thought even for a second you’d rat me out.”
I shrug, pretending to study my nails.
“Calvin’s fired,” he says, and I can’t help but perk up at that. I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty, either. Bye-bye, bitch.
“I saw you talking with him before the show. It looked like you two were scheming.”
He shakes his head. “I was telling him I don’t need any more.”
A pinch of guilt hits me. “Oh.”
“I meant it when I said I was done.”
Relief washes over me. Somehow, I just believe him, even if maybe I shouldn’t. “I came to find you after the show. He said you were with someone and didn’t want to be disturbed.”
He lets out a humorless chuckle. “That prick.” My brows lower as I study him, but he squeezes my leg reassuringly.
“My ex showed up tonight and found her way backstage.” Heat flares in my gut.
Damn jealousy rearing its ugly head again.
“I left her ass in the greenroom, crying. I had nothing to say to her.”
And just like that, it’s tamped down.
He sighs, searching my face. “What are we doing?”
I swallow. “I have no idea.” It seems we’re both aware of the tides of our relationship changing. Morphing into something more. Something too big to ignore.
His hand comes up to cup my chin, and he leans close, his breath fanning over my lips, making them tingle. “I don’t want to stop.”
Hope swirls in my stomach and up my chest, spreading warmth throughout my body. Something in the back of my head screams danger! Abort! But I’m tired. Tired of fighting it. “Me either,” I whisper.
A surprised expression takes over his face right before he slams his lips to mine. My mouth parts, eagerly welcoming him. Using his tongue ring, he rubs against mine with perfect strokes that send a signal to my vagina.
Wake up, girl! It’s happening!
His hand glides down, right where he knows I want it—my throat—and I arch into it, moaning into his mouth. He kisses me deeper, squeezing my neck, and I can’t take it anymore. I reach for his cock, rubbing him over his jeans. I want this.
He thrusts into my hand, but then he pulls away, leaving me gasping for air.
I’m ready to shed my clothes and lie on this bed like his own personal platter.
Eat me, spank me, and please God, fuck me.
To hell with the contract. I’ve spent the last several months in a state of perpetual horniness, and all the back and forth with him has only spurred me on.
I’m ready to risk it all so he can fuck me into oblivion.
“May,” he groans, dropping his forehead to my shoulder.
My fingers tangle in his hair. “Hm?”
“I want to fuck you so bad it hurts.” I smile. Same. I’m about to tell him to do it when he says, “But I think we should wait. Honor the promise we made to everyone.”
I lean back to look at him. The disappointment must be apparent on my face because he lets out a tortured laugh. “You want it, too, huh? Your pussy aching, baby?”
I nod. Throbbing.
He growls, biting my neck and pushing off the bed to stand. He paces the room for a minute, seemingly truly pained by our predicament. I can see he’s warring with himself. I think it’s good he’s suddenly trying to follow the rules. Not good for me, but I respect it. He wants to do better.
“You’re right,” I say, and he stops. His pale blue eyes find mine—they’re already clearer than the last few weeks. He still looks tired, but his face isn’t as sunken in, and the dark circles are slowly disappearing. “I signed a contract. Let’s wait. We’ve waited this long, what’s a few more weeks?”
Noooo, screams my vagina. I shush her. There’s been so much lying, but it’s all out now. I don’t want to keep any more secrets, except the surprise kind like Liv and I have in store. That’s different.
“Sounds like hell,” he deadpans.
True dat.
“It’ll be worth it.”
His head cocks, his eyes scanning my features, then he nods.
Before I can say anything else, he turns and walks to my bathroom.
I wait, thinking he has to use it, then I hear the faucet turn on.
Stepping into the room, I find Travis on one knee, testing the water temperature as he fills the bathtub.
Oh no. More alarms start blaring, telling me to scram. Get out while I still can.
“What are you doing?” I croak.
“Getting your bath ready. You should relax. You’ve been on your feet in heels all day.”
He’s running me a bath? Travis normally doesn’t have a soft bone in his body. He’s all flirty and cocky and I like that, but this…this I could love.
I’m speechless as he floats around, dropping some lavender essential oil into the water. He steps out of the room and comes back with a small table that was housing a fake plant and sets it beside the tub. “Get in,” he demands before leaving again.
I strip off my clothes and sink into the steaming hot water. My muscles relax immediately.
Travis brings the plate of donuts and my bottle of wine and carefully puts them both on the table, and then grabs a towel and folds it. “Sit up.”
I do, and he places it behind me so I can rest my neck against it. He steps back and stares at me, a pained look crossing his face. “Goddammit,” he grits.
I bite back my smile. He’s so damn cute right now, fixing this up only to realize he’s not joining me. My smile falls. Shit, he’s not joining me.
He disappears again, and I grab the wine bottle and take a drink. When he returns, he’s holding something behind his back. “Use this while you’re in there and think of me.” He drops my dildo on the edge of the tub.
I snatch a donut and take a bite. Mm, cream filled. “Yes sir,” I say as sexy as I can.
“Fuck, Ellie. That’s mean.”
My tongue swipes at my lips, hoping there’s a bit of white filling there to make it more dramatic, and it works. He sucks in a sharp breath. “I really, really want to get in there with you. Make you drown on my cock, then let your pussy drown me.”
A whimper escapes as I bite into another donut, my pussy clenching around nothing.
“But I want to do things right from here on out. I want to do this right.” He waves a finger between us. “You wanna do this with me, May?”
I swallow, studying his expression. He seems so serious. My heart patters, and I nod. “Yeah, I do.”
He lets out a breath, like he was worried I’d say no. I won’t lie or pretend I’m not scared shitless. I’m free-falling and hoping like hell he doesn’t let me crash into the pavement and shatter into a million pieces.
“I’ll take care of Cinnamon tonight. Don’t worry about anything.”
Yeah, I’m not worried about that pussy.
“Send me a video,” he says, backing away. “No, don’t. It’ll make it harder, I mean worse.”
“Probably both,” I tease, sinking further into the water.
He runs a hand through his hair, taking one last longing glance at me, then leaves.
As soon as I hear the door close, I click the dildo to life. It’s not what I wanted, but it’ll have to do.