Chapter 32
Jazmine Allen
T he lights in the stadium flick on and screams come from all corners.
The noise somehow increases when the players run onto the field. Athena and I clap as we spy our boyfriends. A smile falls over my face without even trying. If you had told me two years ago, I would be wearing Theodore Knight’s football jersey and be cheering him on as his girlfriend, I would have told you to fuck off.
Now, this is the only thing I want to do.
“What’s going on with Theo?” Athena whispers, interrupting my thoughts.
My eyes shoot to the edge of the football field. Theo is loitering on the sidelines with shaky hands and pale skin. Even from the lower stands, his blue eyes don't shine bright like the stars in the night sky.
Fuck.
“I don’t know,"
It's a lie, I can recognise the signs of a panic attack. Anxious thoughts run rampant in my mind as well as tugging the ball of nerves in my stomach.
Theodore Knight is broken.
He might hide it well from others, but you can never hide it from another broken soul.
I’ve struggled with mental health since I was thirteen years old and I’m studying psychology, so I know all the signs. Healing is hard. I’m still trying to figure it out, but my heart aches to see him like this.
We’ve only been dating for a month, but I know deep in my bones, something is wrong. The final games of the football season are on the horizon, which could be the reason. But I feel like I’m missing something.
Since I first met Theo, I always noticed a change in his behaviour during spring. Although at the moment I was caring only for myself, when he snapped at me during the start of our freshman year, I saw a different side of him.
It wasn't until the past week that I have truly seen the shift in Theo's behaviour. Instead of pushing his anger onto everyone else, Theo is keeping it locked inside, preventing anyone to see the scars in his mind. It’s as if he has shut down.
The last game of the regular season is tonight. I don’t know a lot about football but I remember Athena explaining something to do with ladder positions and having a home game for the finals. Honestly, it went straight over my head.
Austin and Theo take their places on the field but I don't miss the dejected and fearful look Theo gives to the crowd in front of me. I search the people, trying to find a reason for my boyfriend's hurt.
Eventually, my gaze settles on a man sitting behind the barrier but close to the coaches. His dirty blonde hair reminds me of Theo, except the older man has a slight bald patch at the back of his head.
Then, it clicks.
That’s his dad.
I remember from my quick google search about Theodore that his father played in the NFL and is well-known by most players and coaches. Theo still hasn’t told me anything specific about their relationship, but it clearly isn’t your perfect father and son duo.
The whistle blows signalling the beginning of the game. The start is tough, we eventually move up the field towards the end zone. Theo receives the ball from the huddle but misses Austin who was open. An opposition player sprints, tackling Theo and leaving him on the ground .
Fuck. I jump to my feet, trying to see if he is okay. Theo is pulled up by a teammate. He leaves the field, the offence switching with the defence.
I see Theo’s shoulders raise when his father says something from behind the barrier. He is closer to me now, so I have a better view of Theo’s face. He is pale and it looks like he is going to be sick.
Athena and I exchange a look. I don’t think this game is going to end well.
***
We lost.
And it was bad. Theo looked beside himself when the buzzer sounded. It hit me hard. His struggles are written all over his face. I should have said something a week ago.
Theo manages to escape his dad and heads straight to the locker rooms. It doesn’t stop his father from yelling at him.
My blood boils. What the fuck is wrong with him? Is he so heartless that he can’t see Theo is barely keeping himself afloat?
I storm over to him without thinking. Theo might not be able to stick up for himself, but I won’t let anyone make him feel like shit.
“Excuse me,” I say, trying to grab Matthew Knight’s attention. Holy shit. He is intimidating in person; photos don’t do his large frame justice. But it is irrelevant. Matthew Knight is a fucking asshole and I will put him in his place.
“Can I help you?” he says, his tone annoyed.
“Yeah, you can actually.” I begin. “I don’t know what is going on between you and Theo, but you need to open you fucking eyes.”
His nose flares and he bares his teeth. “Who do you think you are?”
“I’m his girlfriend. And I want you to listen to me, don’t interrupt.” I take a deep breath before continuing. “Theodore Knight is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t know what your problem is but it is so obvious he is struggling. I study psychology, so maybe I’m just exposed to it, but he looked like he was going to be sick and pass out while he was playing tonight.”
Emotion rises in my voice. “And all you did when he left the field was fucking yell at him. Theo practically ran away from you. His own father. Let that sink in a little before you borderline verbally abuse him,” I swipe at the tears falling onto my cheeks.
I turn my head, seeing Austin exit the locker room to come towards us.
“Jaz, you need to go after Theo.” Austin turns his attention to Matthew Knight. “And you need to leave before I do something I’ll regret. Theo is my best fucking friend and you’ve done a real number on him,”
Matthew’s shoulders drop as does his face. Every word Austin and I said seems to sink in. It’s on him now to fix his and Theo's relationship.
“I’m going after him,” I say to Matthew. “I hope you’ve listened to me and think about how you can make it up to your son.”
Turning for the exit, I don’t look back. I leave just in time to see Theo driving away from the stadium. Quickly, I race to my car and follow him.
A realisation hits me when I’m tailing Theo’s car. I would do anything for Theodore Knight.
And that scares the shit out of me.