Chapter 16 #2
Once it was late enough that everyone would be up and about – still well before the children would be expected to get ready for school, which Araxis insisted that, yes, they attend today, even if they were upset (they are not human children, Sashen, he'd said, they are attached to Vivith, but they understand that their primary attachment is to the creche) – I drifted through the suite, touching base with all my creche-mates and letting them know we would be gathering to speak in the front room on the hour mark.
When I went back to let Araxis know it was all taken care of, I found him sitting awkwardly on the end of our bed, holding a small box. He almost startled when I opened the door, surging to his feet as I slipped inside. My eyebrows shot up. "Are you good?"
"Hm, yes," said Araxis. His fingers tapped the outside of the polymer box, held carefully in front of him, and then he crossed the space between us and offered it to me. "I apologize. I had intended to give this to you earlier. I believe I should say, happy birthday."
Hearing an English phrase from his lips was so jarring that I just stared at him, while Araxis silvered, head ducking. "I know," he said, "my pronunciation leaves a great deal to be desired. I have not spent nearly enough time working on my language lessons. I will do better. I –"
"No, it's just – Thank you. You surprised me, that's all." I reached out and took the box from him. It was light, and about the size of a tea tray. "Did you want me to open this now?"
"Is that – how it is done?" He looked nervous as he watched me holding the box. A present.
A soft laugh slipped from my throat. "I don't know," I admitted. "I don't know how anything's done. But maybe that doesn't matter. Maybe… we can figure out how we do things. So, yeah. I can open this now. And then we'll meet with everyone."
Araxis nodded, stepping back and folding his hands behind his back. I set the box down on the small dining table, carefully clicking the clasp so that the lid swung open.
Inside the box sat a pair of over-ear headphones on top of a bed of fabric. I stared, confused. "Wait," I said, reaching down and pulling them out. "Are these for humans?"
"Yes," said Araxis from where he stood off to the side, stiff and awkward.
"I – obtained a pair. You care a great deal for music, Sashen, and I understand that our creche tends to be quiet in order to accommodate our Avelthe's sensitivities.
I thought – I thought you must miss listening to music, and that this way you could listen whenever you would like. "
I realized, with distant horror, that I was going to start crying over a pair of headphones. My hands tightened gently against the soft ear pads, my throat aching. It was so thoughtful.
"And then I have also included a sweater, which is nothing at all, I suppose, except that I thought you might like it. Though, of course, it may not meet with your stringent criteria for style. I did take your pink and black sweater so…"
I set the headphones aside gently. It couldn't have been easy to get them here; I'd never even thought to try.
I reached back into the box to pull out the sweater.
It was butter-soft in my hands, a swirl of green and pink and black, all mixed together but distinct in a way that reminded me of the tapestries in his room on the ship.
I looked at Araxis, a slow smile catching my mouth; it felt a little unsteady, even to me.
I swallowed around the tightness in my throat.
"Thank you," I said, strained. "I mean, yeah, it's not a crime against fashion, and so I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off but…
I'll try. Araxis – This is –" I pulled the sweater to my chest, holding it there, and staring at him as my heart throbbed deep in my chest.
How did I begin to explain? His black eyes were gleaming as he watched me, and he ducked his head under my attention. "Hm, I understand my gift is not quite as fine as a bracelet, but I am a novice still. I will endeavour to improve, if – if you would like – That is, if it isn't too much to –"
I stepped in close to him and took his chin in my fingers, pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth; he sighed against me with something like relief or maybe gratitude.
"You're ridiculous," I murmured against his lips, kissing him again, because I couldn't help myself, not when my heart felt so tender.
"I'm going to put this on, and then we're going to go have that creche meeting and figure out everything that comes next. Alright?"
"Yes, Sashen," he breathed. And when I shrugged out of my own unloved sweater and into the one he'd given me, it felt like I was wrapping myself up in the way that he looked at me, like it wasn't soft fabric against my skin but his affection.
That the warmth it filled me with wasn't only physical, but was something that could reach all of me, even the parts I liked to hide away.
It was a good feeling to carry with me into what I was certain would be a difficult meeting.
By the time we all gathered, the children huddled up next to me on one of the couches, Araxis had somehow pulled himself together and, when he walked in, he was as upright and composed as ever.
The only hint of the softer, more vulnerable person I'd spent the early morning with was in the lines around his eyes and the way he blinked more slowly, deliberately as he surveyed the members of Creche Thiel.
"Vivith has left Sozamia Station for the time being," he said, speaking in even, measured abayan; my mind struggled to understand the nuances of the grammar that I could sense more than feel, like an undertow – but it was still too far beyond me.
Adrathi squirmed against my side. "They are tasked with an –" The word he used was something like atonement, maybe.
I made a mental note, glancing down at the children whose faces were very serious as they looked at Araxis, unblinking.
I saw Adrathi's chin quiver for a moment, heard a little whine of distress from her throat.
She pressed herself harder against my side, and I gave her a squeeze.
"Vivith should not contact any of you directly while they undertake this labour," Araxis continued, his features perfectly neutral, his tone devoid of emotion.
He was reciting facts, speaking a mathematical equation.
"If they must speak with Creche Thiel, they will speak with me.
Do we understand?" His stare settled most directly on the children, and they nodded, quiet.
I watched him blink slowly, and then his head tilted as he looked at the rest of our creche.
Evreni, Avelthe, and Yalrinn. Rodil and Elethenn.
Inmadra, Thodin, and Celravi. The children. Me.
"Are there questions you would like me to address?" he asked after a moment.
Evreni was watching Araxis, her eyes bright with curiosity, as if he had just done something very unexpected. "Did you require another arkathi to attend your upcoming meetings?"
"I do not," he said. "I have Inmadra."
"Have you told our Egnax?" asked Avelthe, his features pinched as he rubbed at his temple wearily.
"I have," said Araxis.
I was surprised when Elethenn spoke next, given his skittishness around Araxis. But he looked at Araxis with his mismatched eyes, features tight. "Are there any of Vivith's duties that can be shared among the rest of us? So the… burden is not quite so heavy?"
The word he used for burden elicited a reaction from some of the others. Evreni scoffed, her face contorting with anger; Sadin's crest bristled; even Araxis had to blink rapidly, although his features didn't show any change in emotion.
Elethenn winced, ducking his head. "Apologies, I must have misunderstood," he muttered.
"Yes, you have misunderstood." Araxis was perfectly still, his body like a statue, only his head and neck moving as he locked his sights on Elethenn, who continued to curl inward.
"Creche Thiel is not like other houses. It will take time to adjust. And yes, there are tasks I will be sharing among the rest of you.
Each of you can expect a list by mid-day. Even you, Sadin, Adrathi, Talvi."
As he spoke their names, each child straightened, although Adrathi's hand was still tangled in my sweater.
I expected their tasks would involve going to school, tidying their room, and listening to the adults of Creche Thiel, but regardless of the scope, the sense of duty to one's creche was embedded at an early age.
I checked the time, aware that the kids would need to leave soon.
When I glanced up, Araxis's black stare was fixed on me and, as if he could read my mind, he said in Standard, "Elethenn, Thodin, walk the children to school.
Tonight we will all eat together. I will prepare food, and we can discuss any further questions that arise throughout the day.
" And then he stood and left the room, a clear dismissal for the rest of us.
"Are you alright?" I asked as Adrathi clung to my shirt. "All three of you?"
Sadin, ever stoic, nodded. Talvi blinked up at me, bright eyes gleaming and damp. "Vivith will come back," they said, voice quavering. "Right, Sashen? Like you did."
Fuck. "You know how hard Vivith worked to get your eggs," I said, firm. "And that was before you hatched and they could know how wonderful you are. I know they'll do everything they can to come back."
Next to me, Adrathi whined a little. "But our Vivith –"
"They're not ours, Adrathi," snapped Sadin. "Not until our Araxis says so."
The whine grew sharper, and Adrathi's breathing stuttered a little. "But Vivith will be sad on their own," she said, and before I could start in on that, Elethenn appeared before us.