Chapter Seventeen
S ometimes Josh hated the damn creek Split Valley Ranch was built on. Not for the first time over the years did he consider filling the entire thing in with gravel.
He closed the passenger door of his truck with a hard thud, a coil of rope slung over his shoulder. He marched across the pasture to the edge of the creek, stopping just short of where the ground dipped sharply toward the water.
He looked down at the small calf that waded through the water, tail flicking. It looked up at him, making soft snuffling sounds.
“How’d you get yourself down here, huh?”
The calf responded with a half-hearted moo before carrying on down the creek.
“Now don’t go wandering,” Josh called as he carefully made his way down the short embankment. It was still slick with mud from the winter thaw and his boots slipped. He caught himself, his hand sinking into muck. He huffed and carried on.
He’d spotted the calf earlier on a ride around the property. Usually a baby this small wouldn’t stray far from its mother, so it must have been thirsty, and instead of using one of the water troughs, it had tumbled down the incline for a drink only to find it was a lot harder to get out again.
When Josh reached the creek bed, he winced. Water soaked through his boots and the bottoms of his pants. The creek was shallow for this time of year, barely up to his knees, but the calf darted away from him, forcing Josh to chase it.
“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Josh muttered, surging forward and catching the calf by the scruff. It fought against him, making displeased sounds. He was a fluffy little thing, his coat a deep russet brown. When he looked up at Josh it was with two shiny black eyes. “Behave,” Josh told the calf. “Or I have half a mind to leave you down here.”
The calf did not behave. It butted against his thighs as he attempted to get the rope secured so he could pull the little thing out of the creek. Every time he managed to get the rope over its head, the calf would shake it off. He needed one hand to hold the animal still, but he needed both hands to get the rope in place.
“You know who’d probably be really good at this?” Josh muttered. “Amy. She’d have you roped in seven seconds flat. But I can’t call her because Tru McCoy is in town, learning that he’s about to be a father. So it’d be really great if you could just cooperate, okay?”
The calf mooed softly and rammed its head against Josh’s thigh, clearly unimpressed with being detained. Josh wasn’t that impressed either when the calf shook him off and went running down the creek.
“Don’t be like that,” he called. “This is for your own good.” He trudged after the calf. The bottoms of his jeans were heavy and dragging.
The calf turned and mooed at him again. A little warrior’s cry.
“I know, I know ,” Josh said, taking slow, careful steps so as not to startle the calf into running farther down the creek. “But sometimes we have to do things we don’t like. Which is why I’m here with you while Amy talks to her ex. Did I mention he’s a movie star?”
The calf lowered his head and lapped at the water. Talking to it seemed to help. If he got used to Josh’s presence, maybe he’d calm down enough to let Josh do his job.
“I obviously want what’s best for her, you know? Even if what’s best for her and the baby is Tru.” Josh took the opportunity and lunged. He got his arm around the calf again, and this time he hung on. The calf bucked and reared back, trying to pull his head free as Josh strung the rope around him again.
“Not that I actually think Tru’s what’s best for her,” he said through gritted teeth. “He sounds like a scumbag, all things considered. Like the guy knocks Amy up and immediately goes off to marry someone else. Sure, maybe he didn’t know. But how are you just casually sleeping with someone while planning your nuptials with someone else? Who does that? He definitely doesn’t deserve her.”
The cow mooed. Maybe in agreement. Maybe because Josh pulled the rope tight. Finally! He stood, stretching the muscles that ached in his lower back. The calf made a few half-hearted attempts to bolt, but Josh held tight to the rope and he eventually settled.
Josh gave the little thing a pat on the head. “I’m not sure I deserve her either. Or, really, that I can provide the kind of life she deserves. Tru could give that to her though. He’s got the money and the connections. And he already belongs to the world Amy is used to.”
Josh staggered forward through the water, tugging on the rope. The calf resisted, tugging in the opposite direction. He was a strong little bugger.
“I can’t give her those things,” Josh continued. “Film premieres. And fancy dinners. And nights out in cities I’ve never even heard of.”
Josh pulled harder on the rope.
“I… Am I supposed to just let her go?” That’s not what he wanted. But he also didn’t want this ache in his chest to worsen. He didn’t want an Amy-sized heartbreak to get over. He didn’t want his feelings to get dragged through the mud. And he certainly didn’t want to be Amy’s second choice—the consolation prize she settled for. If there was any part of her that wanted Tru… Well, maybe it was best, for his own sake, that Josh just stepped aside and let them figure this parenting thing out.
His arm flew forward suddenly as the calf launched into a run. Josh braced himself but it was too late. The calf took off like a shot, yanking Josh off his feet and face-first into the muddy water. He groaned, his clothes soaked through, his cowboy hat floating a few feet away.
The calf turned around and looked at him, prancing back and forth like they were playing a fun little game.
Josh grimaced, climbing to his feet. “I’m not gonna forget this.”
Dripping muddy water, he snagged the rope, and climbed out of the creek, pulling the calf along. Once they crested the top of the muddy embankment, he set the calf loose. It went skipping across the pasture to join the other cattle and hopefully find its mother. Josh glared after it, wiping water from his face. He could taste mud on his tongue. What a day this was turning out to be.
Maybe it was time to consider putting up a fence to stop the cattle from getting stuck down there. He marched back to his truck. All he wanted to do was head to the house and take a long, hot shower. Maybe call Shane and see if he felt like a beer so he could take his mind off Tru McCoy.
His phone was blinking with notifications when he settled in the driver’s seat. He picked it up, realized it was a missed call from Amy, and his heart skipped a beat.
There was no voicemail, so he called her back immediately.
“Hey,” he said when she answered.
“Hi, cowboy.” She sounded tired.
“Sorry I missed your call. I was…” Getting bested by a calf a third of my size? “Dealing with a little cattle situation on the ranch.”
“That’s okay, I know you’re busy.”
Not too busy to talk to you , he wanted to say, but he didn’t know if that was the kind of thing she wanted to hear right now. “How’d everything go with Tru?”
“About as good as I expected, honestly.”
Josh held his breath. What did that mean?
“Tru’s gone,” she clarified. “And I’m pretty sure he won’t be back.”
“So he didn’t—”
“Want anything to do with the baby? No.”
The rest of his breath left him in a rush. “I’m sorry, Amy.”
“It’s probably for the best. I’m not sure he’d make a great father right now. Or ever.”
He was apologizing and part of him meant it. Amy deserved someone who was going to take responsibility for the child. Tru should have been that person. He had all the means to be that person. And the fact that he’d already failed Amy more than once made Josh angry. But there was a larger part of Josh that was quite relieved to hear this. Elated, even. If Tru was out of the picture, did that mean he and Amy could go back to the way things were? That they could just pick up where they’d left off?
But could he really compete with the memory of a movie star? Could he get over being the person she settled for? Mostly he wondered if she could really be happy living a quiet life in Tenacity when she was used to a life of adventure. Josh worried that he knew the answer to that question and it filled him with defeat. “I really am sorry things didn’t work out with Tru,” he said.
“I’m not,” Amy said quietly.
Silence lapsed between them, and Josh didn’t know how to fill it. What the hell was he doing? He wanted Amy. But she couldn’t possibly want him in the same way, especially not now that she was expecting a baby. She needed support and structure and so many other things he didn’t even know about.
“Well,” she said. “I’ll let you get back to cattle stuff.”
“Right. Yeah… I better do that.”
“I guess…” Her words lingered for a long moment. “I’ll talk to you later?”
“Yeah,” Josh said awkwardly. He had no idea when later might be, and he felt horrible about that as the call ended. This didn’t feel like a goodbye, but he also wasn’t quite sure what they were anymore. Here he was ragging on Tru for not stepping up, but Josh didn’t know the first thing about having a family of his own, so how could he possibly be any better than Tru McCoy?