~ 21 ~ #3
“That was fucking incredible, Rona!” Oscar said. “How do you feel?”
“Like I want to do it again.” I smiled.
“Hey!” A man approached me and Oscar at the decks.
His hair was dishevelled and he was handsome and slim, probably in his forties.
He looked tired, as if he’d been dancing.
It was after one in the morning, after all.
“That was awesome, thanks very much. Me and my pals loved that. I’m one of the lead artist bookers for Glastonbury, and I was wondering if you’d like to play at the festival this summer?
I don’t think we’ve officially met before, but I’ve watched your career over the years.
I loved what you did tonight, and I’d be really interested to book you.
Is that something you’d be interested in discussing more?
Sorry I’m not usually this direct or out of it.
I’m out with friends tonight, and I’m a bit trolleyed.
But I know a fucking superstar when I see one, and I’m sure you’ve got other things planned and won’t have time, but I thought I’d ask.
” He glanced at Oscar, as if for the first time.
“Heyyyy, Oscar! I didn’t know you guys were still friends.
I thought you split up like ten years ago. ”
“We’re still friends, dude,” Oscar replied.
“Nice,” the guy replied.
I considered his offer. It would be a massive challenge but somehow, it appealed. “I’d be happy to discuss it more. Do you have a card or something?”
He slipped a business card onto the decks. “Perfect! Hey, do you have a manager?”
“Nope. I’m a producer. I work for Notebook Records sometimes, but mostly I’m my own boss.”
“Cool. Hey, let’s talk more in a couple of days. Have a good night!” He disappeared off into the crowd.
The club was emptying, and the lights had come on over the dancefloor.
Oscar, Nell and I went to the bar.
“What a night!” The owner of the club said. “Thank you so much for that. You were incredible.”
“Cheers,” I said, feeling less self-conscious than usual.
“Can you come back every Saturday?” She said this jokingly but there was a hint of seriousness in her voice.
“Rona only plays every now and again. Sorry, but thanks,” Nell said.
I appreciated her coming to my defence. The thing was, I had the urge to come back next week. I loved it tonight. Something had shifted in me. Best not to make any more snap decisions tonight though. “That’s really kind of you to ask but I can’t. Maybe something during Pride, though?”
“Wow, okay, that would be awesome! I’ll be in touch.”
We sat at a table in the near empty club as the staff cleaned up and rang out the tills.
“So, you’re going to play Glastonbury?” Nell asked.
“If he’s serious, and it wasn’t just the drink talking, then yeah!”
“That’s huge,” Oscar said. “What happened to you tonight?”
“I’m buzzing. It’s probably something to do with Lily. And what you’ve both been encouraging me to do for a while. I haven’t really thought it all through yet, but I think I’m going to start releasing my own music under my name.”
“What?” Oscar said. “That’s even huger.”
“Really?” Nell looked dumbfounded.
“It’s time. Tonight felt so good. I feel different. I won’t have to tour much if I don’t want to. Glastonbury will probably be on a small unknown stage away from everything. Obscure. I can do that.”
Both of them were looking at me, as if I had said I was going to join a far-right extremist group.
Nell spoke first. “You’re not doing it just to prove a point to Lily, are you?”
“No. I’m not.” I held her eyes. But it was true that Lily confronting me about it had been the final straw.
“Good,” Nell replied.
“Fucking hell, Rona. Good for you. You’re going to be a superstar,” Oscar said.
“Don’t say that to her, Oscar. It’ll scare her away.”
“I just think you should be prepared. Once you release an album of all your stuff, it’s going to hit number one everywhere and go viral.
The collaborations are going to start pouring in.
More people than ever are going to want you to produce them, and to play on their show, venue, club, festival – you name it.
I’m not sure there’s any chance you can release it and stay obscure.
You have a cult following who know that it’s on the cards for you. They’ve been waiting for years.”
Shit. What if Oscar was right? Could I handle all that? Did I want it?
Nell countered. “You don’t know that’s going to happen, Rona.
Most people have to really push to get their stuff out there.
There are so many artists and so many options for listening to music now.
Also, you’re not young and cool like you once were.
We love you and think you’re awesome, but do the twenty-two-year-olds?
I hate to say it, but we’re all over the hill.
Have you seen how uncool these gen z’s think us millennials are? ”
I was quiet for a moment to think. The owner of the bar looked over at us, as if we should start to get a move on. Chairs were stacked up all around us upside down on tables. The place was virtually empty.
“You both make good points. But I think I still want to do it, in either of those cases. If I feel like I did tonight, then I can take that energy and apply that to every other gig. I can do this on my own terms, being myself, and being okay if people don’t like my music or me.
I’m getting older, and I’m seeing that things are different now than they were ten years ago.
I know who I am and I don’t need everyone to like me.
I love making music and I want to share it with people.
It’s true. That’s it. It hasn’t felt right, deep down, not sharing what I’ve created with people.
I’ve kept telling myself, and both of you, that it doesn’t matter to me but it does.
I want to share my music. I’m ready now to put myself out there and not be attached to the outcome.
I’ve got you guys and a great support around me.
That’s all that really matters to me. Nell, if you’re up for working with me, I’d be so grateful. ”
“Aw, Rona, you’re going to make me cry,” Oscar said, covering his mouth, face quivering.
Nell looked at me. “I’ve never been more up for anything in my life. Let’s do it!”