Alpha Kane

[ 25 ] - revelation

In that moment, I was grateful that Kane had marked me because he otherwise wouldn't have been able to understand the gravity of the pain that shot through me.

My hand withdrew from his like he was on fire. "What?" my voice echoed in my head.

His eyes followed me as I shot up and the stool clattered to the floor behind me. "Rina, let me explain—"

"No," I snapped. "This all started because we didn't have anything on our wrists. You didn't think to mention, at any point, that you once did?" my hands began to shake.

"You have to understand—"

I shook my head vehemently. "What I understand is that you have been hiding things from me from the very beginning. How can I trust anything that you say now? You had a mate before me."

As soon as I uttered it, I felt a heart-shattering pain. The gasp pulled from my throat and I turned around. First Celeste, and now...

I felt like his second choice.

My gaze zeroed in on the front door and I rushed to put my shoes on. I didn't bother with a jacket and yanked the door open. I barely passed the threshold before he grabbed onto my arm and pulled me back.

"Get off me!" I exclaimed as my voice cracked at the end. My vision quickly blurred.

He gripped both my arms. "Rina, please—just listen to me!"

I twisted my arms and pushed at his chest, punctuating each word. "Let. Me. Go!"

He was far stronger than me. I barely moved him.

"Kane!" a familiar voice sounded with a thick Scottish accent. Lachlan. "What is happening?"

I stopped thrashing and looked to see his parents standing outside his house. They both looked concerned. Kane still didn't let me go.

"Mum, Dad. Now isn't a good time," he huffed, frustrated.

I saw their gazes fall to his mark on my neck, and the confused expressions that followed.

"We came to check on you both..." Moira replied, a deep frown on her face. "Rina, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Everything," I gasped, screwing my eyes shut and turning back to Kane. I spoke through gritted teeth, "Let me go."

He must have seen the fire in my eyes because he reluctantly dropped his hands from my arms. I took a large step back and blinked through my tears.

"I can't be near you right now. Don't follow me and stay out of my head." I didn't know where I was going to go, but I needed to be away from him to think with a clearer head. All I could feel in the moment was deep pain because of this revelation.

"Do you want to be alone?" Moira asked, concerned.

I tried to muster up a smile for her, but it came out as a grimace. "Yes." I glanced at Kane, and in my pain, was driven to say, "I should've stayed alone in my old pack."

The Buchanans all stood still, stunned, as I turned from them and walked away from the house.

I headed for the mountains where I could be alone.

Being the luna, I wouldn't get far before someone would stop me, concerned for my well-being.

I did the only thing that would cheer me up and climbed a tree.

It overlooked the loch and I focused on the steady water.

It was a stark contrast to how unstable I felt.

I leaned against the trunk of the tree, and as soon as I felt the rough bark against my temple, I finally let myself cry.

From the beginning, I had always felt like things were too good to be true.

There was no way I had a mate if there was nothing on my wrist. I couldn't believe what I felt when I realised Kane was my mate.

I had soon felt that we were cut from the same cloth and were destined to be together.

It broke my heart that he had something on his wrist before he met me.

I had only just gotten over him choosing Celeste as his luna.

Why didn't he wait for me if he had dreamt of me for three years?

I felt like a consolation prize. Here you go, Kane, you lost your first mate but don't worry, silly, hopeful Rina is the perfect runner-up. She'll dream of you killing her for three years but will still fall for you. She won't be the one you mention, though, when you're losing control.

An afterthought, a surprise when it was least expected.

I cried harder at that thought. I wished I had never touched Kane that day. I wished I had stayed far away from him and never set eyes on him.

No I didn't.

The mark on my neck pulsated, reminding me of the deep longing I felt for him. He was my mate—I would always want him.

The wind slapped against my clothes as if I wasn't wearing any. I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself. I was stubborn, one of the many flaws I was aware of, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

I would rather feel the cold than the burning sense of betrayal that was running through me.

I stayed in the tree for two hours. I was able to watch the sun slowly set. I wished I had brought my camera to capture how the colours blended in the sky. Nature cured all ills, and for a while, looking at the sunset eased my pain.

A twig snapped below me and I leaned over to see Carmen and Finn standing at the foot of the tree. Carmen was holding a coat, and Finn was holding a water bottle.

"We don't need to talk, Rina, if you don't want to, but please come down."

Juvenile. That was how I felt—being told to come down like I had thrown a tantrum for something silly. I clenched my jaw and swallowed my pride. I climbed down and my shoes met the snow with a thud.

"I told him I wanted to be alone."

Carmen looked at me sympathetically. "You're our Luna. He didn't have to tell us to make sure you were okay."

I stared at her and willed myself not to cry again. I wouldn't anymore. I pressed my lips together. "I-I don't know if I can handle this."

"You can," Finn replied adamantly. "You're strong, stronger than you think."

I laughed humourlessly. "The amount I've cried in the past day begs to differ."

Carmen frowned. "Crying isn't a sign of weakness. Your heart is pure and you've withstood things that would shake a mountain."

Finn cracked a small smile. "My mate the poet." His smile widened when Carmen nudged him with her elbow. "You don't notice your presence and the power that comes from you—even before you bore his mark."

"We speak to you as betas," Carmen interjected.

"Your betas," Finn added. "The beta blood that runs through you alone is potent. You were born for greater."

I finally smiled. "Can I hug you both?"

They chuckled at the same time but opened their arms. I hugged them tightly then stepped back.

"Is he waiting for me?"

Finn nodded. "You were both supposed to address the pack since we all missed the pack run yesterday. He won't stand in front of everyone without you by his side."

There was a bitter taste in my mouth. What kind of message would it send to the pack if we stood before them divided?

Carmen thrust the coat towards me. I graciously took it and shrugged it on. "They'll see right through me. I've never been one to hide my emotions. Will he tell them about his blackouts?"

"Never," Finn answered. "They cannot know otherwise we risk word getting out about it, or worse, someone challenges him for his title. Now that he has you, he would kill anyone who would come between you two."

I gulped. "So, what's the story?"

"The full moon captivated you both," Carmen responded, "and you were preoccupied with each other, especially after Alpha marked you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Preoccupied how?" I questioned.

Finn was the first to smirk. "Well, we know you didn't go that far. Preoccupied as in you were spending time with each other and couldn't part long enough to attend the pack run."

Great. More lies.

"And how are you explaining your absences?" I doubled down.

"Well, Finn and I did go that far," Carmen laughed. "They don't need to know that it was today and not yesterday. The rest of the guys had joined the run while Finn kept watch."

Her laugh elicited one from me. "Fine. I'll play along."

Finn held out the bottle of water to me. "We'll walk back with you."

I took the water and sipped it as we walked back to the house. Kane was sitting outside on the doorstep and stood as soon as he saw me. Finn and Carmen kept walking to their house.

"Rina..." he whispered.

"Don't say my name," I instantly replied, feeling my throat tighten. I lost all sense when he would say my name. "I'll come with you to speak to the pack, but as soon as we're done, I'm—"

"You're not even going to let me explain?" he interrupted, stepping into my space. He stared down at me with a tinge of anger in his eyes. "We're not going to be that couple that doesn't communicate, Rina."

I narrowed my eyes at him and didn't back down under his gaze. "We weren't even supposed to be a couple, Kane."

I saw a sliver of the Alpha Kane when he gripped my chin firmly enough to tell me he didn't appreciate me saying that. "You're purposely saying things to hurt me. I'm yours. I have always been yours."

"I can't say the same, can I?" I clenched my jaw.

He tilted my head to reveal my neck to him. "That," he spoke, referencing to my mark, "says differently."

I bit back a response I knew I didn't mean. I wouldn't go that far. "What does it mean? I wouldn't be the first you've thought to mark."

"Stop," he growled, tightening his grip slightly. He leaned closer. "You can be angry and upset, but you need to hear me out."

He kept my face directly in front of his, so I couldn't even shake my head like I wanted to. "I don't need—" I hated the way my gaze flitted to his lips. I forced it back to his eyes, but the damage was done. He leaned in. "Don't," I whispered, unconvincingly.

He silenced my sigh with a kiss, tangling his fingers in my hair. He took the lead and I gripped his shirt, forming fists against his chest. I pushed back, ripping my mouth from his. Our chests heaved and I could practically taste his anger.

I hated that I was exactly where he wanted.

My eyebrows lowered in frustration before I gave in again. I could barely focus as he enveloped me in a tight embrace. My hands slid to his face after a while and I leaned back, opening my eyes.

"We need to address the pack," I sighed. "This—it's not fair to me, Kane."

He held me flush against him. "Why can't you see I'm crazy about you? You're the only mate I've ever had."

I closed my eyes. "No, Kane," I muttered. "If you want me to be believable in front of the pack, then we can't have this conversation right now."

He knocked his forehead on mine. "Fine."

My hands curled around his forearms to step out of his embrace. I brushed my fingers across my lips and sighed. "I need to fix myself up first."

He stared at me with deep longing in his eyes. "Okay," he softly replied. All his anger had dissipated and he was reminded of the distance that was slowly growing between us.

The throbbing of my wrist told me it wasn't a good thing.

I quickly went to the bathroom and fixed my hair, applied some makeup under my eyes to hide the tiredness and reapplied lip balm. My lips were slightly flushed and it didn't take much to see that Kane and I had been kissing.

He hadn't moved an inch when I came back out again. He glanced at my hand and frowned when I dug both of them into my coat pockets. He slowly led the way to the hall. This kind of walk was beginning to feel like the stairway to hell. Nothing good ever came of us addressing the pack.

When we were at the doors, I tried to forget everything that had happened in the past five hours. I focused on our last happiest memory: the evening we had spent making chocolate chip cookies and talking by the fireplace.

Things had felt easier then. My heart stupidly skipped a beat when a flash of Kane's smile popped into my mind.

He turned to face me. For the first time, he spoke in my mind. 'You're my past, present and future, Rina. I'm yours even beyond my dying breath.'

My shoulders sank as his deep voice sounded in my head. He had such a way with words.

He stretched his hand out to me and I took it with a sigh. With his other hand, he moved my hair off my shoulders to reveal his mark on my neck. I took a deep breath when he pushed open the doors and we came face to face with our pack.

The first reaction I saw was excitement.

Now that he had marked me, his scent flowed through me, mixing with mine to announce to everyone that we were mates.

They all began clapping and the smile that appeared on my face was genuine. Their happiness was my happiness, I knew that much already. Moira and Lachlan gave me encouraging smiles.

Kane smiled too, a rare sight since the full moon had set. "I'm sorry it's starting to become a pattern to gather you all after a full moon, but we wanted you to see in person why we missed the run yesterday."

"Congrats, Alpha and Luna!" Oliver exclaimed, drawing a laugh from me. The shy teen was growing in confidence already.

I caught Celeste's gaze. She was staring at my mark with interest. Thankfully, there seemed to be less hostility in her eyes.

Granted, I didn't think we would ever like each other much, but it was a start.

I hoped she knew now that I wasn't out to harm Kane.

Harming him while bearing his mark would be suicide.

"Thank you, Oliver," Kane graciously replied. "And thank you to all of you who have been so understanding and patient since I found my mate. This is new territory for us all."

That was an understatement.

"Luna, say a few words!" yelled someone in the back. I was still learning names.

I almost refused until others chimed in.

I glanced at Kane and he squeezed my hand. Even if I was angry with him, his touch brought me unbelievable comfort.

Carmen caught my eye. You've got this, she mouthed. I took comfort in her and Finn's presence and remembered what they had said to me earlier. You're strong, stronger than you think.

I took a deep breath. "Being your luna is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you for being so kind and welcoming."

Kane lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. I let him.

"To make up for yesterday, and to celebrate finally being able to shift again, I'd be honoured if you all join me on a pack run tomorrow evening."

"Hell yes!" Oliver clapped before realising he was the loudest person in the hall. His cheeks flamed red but he raised his fist in the air.

The pack had missed their alpha.

I tried my hardest not to let it show that I wasn't looking forward to it at all.

—————

When we had finally finished socialising with the pack, we made our way home and the first thing I did was collapse onto the sofa. I put my feet up and stared at the ceiling. I didn't want to think about sleeping arrangements tonight.

Could I stay mad at him for long? I wasn't sure, but I knew the mark and the brand were working against me. It was slowly becoming painful, as if the mate bond was telling me to stop keeping my distance from Kane.

Kane, as usual, couldn't stay away from me. He took a seat on the glass coffee table in front of the sofa. I shivered because of his proximity.

"I'm going to tell you the whole story now, Rina, and you're going to listen because I can't take another minute of you avoiding me like the plague."

I slowly sat up but didn't say anything.

"Yes, I had words on my wrist before I met you.

" Hearing it again didn't make it hurt any less, but I let him continue.

"But then they disappeared and I assumed she died.

I don't know what happened, but soon after, I started having dreams about you.

You're the only one I have ever known to be my mate. "

Somehow, his words weren't comforting at all.

"You called out her name in the middle of your blackout, Kane. She has to mean something to you." I frowned, bringing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs.

His head jerked in adamant disagreement. "It's something to ground me in who I was before this all started. Mari isn't even the full name. I only know her name because that's what was on my wrist. Her first words to me, whoever she is or was, were 'You can call me Marigold, like the flower.'

My gaze shot up to his. "Marigold? You're sure?"

His dark eyebrows furrowed. "Yes."

My lips parted in quiet shock. I was very familiar with the name but had pushed it out of my mind for three years out of grief.

Three years ago, just before the war, I had lost my paternal grandmother. I was an only child, so naturally, she adored me to pieces. She had been a botanist and had nicknamed me after her favourite plant.

Marigolds.