Chapter 15
Derek
The stacks of papers lined up on the dining room table seemed endless. I had forgotten how absolutely fucking draining the process of opening a business could be, but there I was again, with Lisa, signing paperwork and apparently deciding what color scheme to choose for the restaurant. She took a sip of her water, setting it down on the table once again while I typed an email on my laptop.
My head pounded, but alas…it would be another late night.
“Do you mind if I order dinner?” she asked, scrolling through her phone. “I’m starving.”
I glanced at her. Her blue eyes were exhausted, though I could still see the glimmer of excitement in them. “You should go home, Lisa.”
“And leave you to choose the décor? And color scheme? No way.”
I rubbed my temple, leaning back on the chair and closing my eyes. Once upon a time, this would have been easier but there was too much shit to deal with, both on the business side and personal side.
Hannah and I barely talked.
Her words from the day when I invited her still stung, no matter how much I told myself that she didn’t mean them, I knew deep down they held some truth. Hannah would always be hurt.
“Seriously, though. What are we eating?” I opened my mouth to speak, but a knock on the door kept me from doing so.
Lisa furrowed her brows. “Are you expecting someone? It’s late.”
There was another knock. Quiet—almost so quiet I didn’t think it was real. I stood up, thankful for the reason to stretch out my legs.
But I didn’t expect to see her there.
Hannah smiled—a soft, shy smile…the type I hadn’t seen in a long time. She hadn’t said a word, but her cheeks took on a rosy color that matched her oversized sweater and overpowered the discoloration on her cheek from the bruise. With her hair falling over her shoulders and her face bare of any makeup, I didn’t think I’d ever seen her look so beautiful.
Or more fucking perfect.
The feeling in my chest intensified, the need of pulling her into my arms and tasting her lips, feeling her tongue against mine.
But she didn’t want that.
Her soft brown eyes swirled with all the things she refused to say…so I spoke for her.
“What are you doing here?”
“I…um…Nathan has been closing the gallery lately and so I thought it was a good idea to bring you dinner.” Her delicate throat moved as she swallowed, her nerves getting the best of her. “Both because I know you’ve been working a lot, between the restaurants and the girls and well…as an apology, too. For the things I said that day when you invited me to the opening.”
Hannah never apologized.
I glanced to her hands, then met her eyes again. “Where are the girls?”
“Deborah is watching them.” She let out a quiet laugh. “If I would have picked them up I would have talked myself out of doing this.”
My mind told me to turn her away, to avoid giving her a chance to cause us both more damage, but I couldn’t. Not when she was in front of me, so fucking open and vulnerable.
“So,” she shifted on her feet, extending her hand with the paper bag, “here is dinner. It’s Mexican from that place near the gallery and it’s really good and I think you’ll like it.”
I leaned against the doorframe, taking the bag from her hand and ignoring the electricity that flowed between us when my fingers brushed her skin. “Stay. Let’s eat.”
She hesitated. Hannah wrapped her arms around her body, her gaze traveling from me to the hallway that would lead her away from me, but in the end, she gave me a single nod and took a step forward. She quietly walked into the apartment for the first time since she told me she was pregnant.
The pictures of us together were gone…but the memories were more present than ever. Lisa’s eyes widened when she saw Hannah appear, but her expression quickly turned to excitement.
I’m never going to hear the end of this.
“Oh…” Hannah ran her tongue over her bottom lip, the action sending a jolt of desire down my body. Fuck…she didn’t realize what she did to me. “I didn’t know you were working.”
Lisa waved her off with a quiet laugh. “You’re welcome to stay. This is a pain in the ass and I’m getting tired of listening to Derek cursing the laptop.”
I shot her a glare, but it quickly dissipated when I saw Hannah’s shoulders relax.
“Well…there should be enough food for both of you.”
“Don’t be silly. There’s enough for all of us.” Lisa walked to the kitchen and I to the table, setting everything to the side while Hannah watched. I gestured for her to sit and after setting her purse down, she finally did. Her attention turned to the swatches of paint, her curious eyes meeting mine.
“We can’t agree on the paint,” I muttered, taking the seat across from her. Hannah’s lips tilted up, picking up the swatches and scanning over them.
“Well…Hannah is a marketing expert,” Lisa said, setting a plate in front of each of us before sitting on the counter. I hated when she did that, but clearly, she didn’t give a damn. “What do you think, Hannah? What is your professional opinion?”
Hannah bit her lip, completely avoiding our gazes. She didn’t want to give her opinion, not when she had been burned by both of us before. I could almost hear her heart about to beat out of her chest, her apprehension when it came to us palpable in the air. And it fucking hurt.
It hurt to know she was scared to tell me what she thought.
It hurt to know that no matter what I tried, the fucking doubts would remain.
She took a bite of her food and Lisa sighed as we all ate in silence. There wasn’t much to say, and despite at one time being friends, it was clear Hannah didn’t trust Lisa…not anymore.
Hannah took a napkin, wiping her mouth before setting it on the plate and throwing it all away. The sight gave me an odd sense of déjà vu.
“L’Etoile is the name of the restaurant, right?” Her voice broke through the silence.
“Yeah,” I nodded, watching as she picked up the swatches again but this time, held them against one of the paintings we’d bought at the gallery. I forced my attention to the painting, trying to ignore the way her leggings clung to the curves of her legs and her beautiful ass. “Paradis has a more classic feel to it. L’Etoile will be more modern…trendy, is the word Lisa used.”
Hannah hummed, running her fingers over the painting. “From a design perspective, these colors would be better.” She handed me two swatches, a dark blue and a light tan color…the two I had initially suggested to Lisa. “The blue will bring a pop of color but will allow the décor and paintings to shine through and if you keep the chandeliers the same traditional style, like the one at Paradis, it’ll tie both locations together. It’s subtle, but it’s enough.”
“I told you we should use these two colors,” I said to Lisa.
Lisa rolled her eyes, jumping off the counter. “Whatever. I still get to pick the rest of the paintings, deal?”
Hannah laughed. It was quiet, but her eyes lit up in a way they hadn’t in front of me…not since I’d returned, and suddenly, my chest didn’t seem like enough to hold my fucking heart.
“I’m glad you could settle this for us.” Hannah leaned against the table; her lips still upturned while I spoke to her. “Now at least I know I’ll get some sleep.”
“You haven’t been getting much of it, huh?”
I shrugged, ignoring Lisa’s staring. She wasn’t good at hiding it, but thankfully, Hannah didn’t seem to notice. “You know how these things are. Time consuming and draining.”
“It’ll be worth it.” Hannah looked around with a sigh before taking out her phone and glancing at the time. “I should go. I need to pick up the girls.”
“I’ll walk you out.”
I need a few minutes alone with you.
“That’s not necessary,” Hannah replied.
“I know. I’m still doing it, though.”
Lisa grinned, walking up to Hannah and surprising her with a hug. “This was nice, Hannah. I’m glad you brought dinner and stayed for a few minutes.”
I expected Hannah to pull away and shut down but instead, all she did was muster a smile and nod as Lisa walked away. I fought the urge of placing my hand on her back as I guided her out the door and to the hallway. Fought the urge of pinning her against the wall in the elevator and crashing my lips against hers.
But her words continued to echo in my head.
I don’t want you to touch me again.
The brisk cold air did nothing to ease the heat flowing between us though, not when every time she glanced at me, I could see a hint of longing in those eyes.
They begged me to help her forget.
My gaze lingered on the fading bruise of her cheek, and she brushed her hair back, a hint of nervousness in her expression.
“They don’t hurt anymore,” she whispered. “But I’m scared of closing the gallery by myself now, and I didn’t used to be.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets because it was the only way I had of fighting the need to hold her. “Well for now I think it’s best,” I replied. “At least until that son of a bitch is apprehended.”
She didn’t say anything, but Hannah didn’t move. It almost seemed like she didn’t want to leave and with every passing second, I found it harder to keep my distance.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
Not a question.
A simple statement.
One that lingered in the air full of heartache.
“I have.”
“Is it because of what I said?”
“It is.”
Hannah let out a shaky breath as she looked up at the night sky. She wasn’t running from me, but now I didn’t know what the hell she needed.
I didn’t think she did either.
“We have to be civil,” she finally said, glancing back at me. That mask she used to try to keep me at bay was fragile. She was barely holding it up. In fact, I could see it crumbling with every word she said. It had been that way for the last few days…like the sight of my avoidance made it weak. “But I don’t want you to avoid me. I don’t want you to treat me like we don’t know each other. Like nothing happened between us…”
Ah…there it was.
That wall was crumbling.
I could feel it.
The way to her heart was a sense of finality.
“How would you like me to treat you?” I asked, taking a step toward her. There was no where for her to go and for once, she didn’t look like she was looking for an exit.
Her lips parted, a flash of desire lighting up her honey eyes. “I’m not sure.”
I smiled. Couldn’t help it. I had her right where I wanted. “Well, then…I’ll be here when you know.”
If Hannah expected more, she didn’t say it. A flicker of disappointment coated her features but all she did was nod. I opened the door to her car, watched her get in and then leave.
She was caving, and I would enjoy every minute when she finally did.