Chapter 17
Hannah
His arms wrapped around my body, and I moaned as he pushed me back against the wall, his mouth moving against mine as if he couldn”t get enough. Derek was all consuming—all I could feel, all I wanted. His hands held more than just my heart, they held my soul, my body, everything that made me who I am. I felt his tongue gliding over my lip and mine did the same, tasting him while his grip on my hips tightened.
For months I’d fought it. For weeks I’d tried to push everything I felt away, trying to ignore everything Derek caused within me. I was done—tired of fighting. Tired of pretending I could ignore what Derek and I had because it was too strong, too real for me to think I could ever get rid of it.
His lips left mine, his kiss traveling down my jaw, teeth nipping at the soft skin of my neck. My fingers tangled in his soft hair as he pinned me against the wall, holding me captive with no way to escape.
Not that I wanted to.
He pressed against me, his hardness evident as his mouth found mine once again, kissing me before resting his forehead against mine. “I’ve missed you, Hannah. So, fucking much.”
His voice, breathless and raw...full of passion, filled the air. I could do nothing but stare into his eyes, get lost in them and hope that he would find me somewhere, buried in his soul just like he was buried in mine. It couldn’t be faked. Not this...not the way he looked at me like I was a part of him, too.
I pulled on his suit jacket, my actions telling him exactly what I wanted, even if it was in a fucking storage closet. He tossed it to the floor while he kissed me again, frenzied, desperate...like I was his oxygen and couldn’t get enough of me.
His hands roamed my body, first my neck, caressing me gently as his teeth nipped at my earlobe and he whispered how much he wanted me, then lowered, grazing my breasts over my dress and stealing a moan from my lips. The world around me was spinning so fast I couldn’t steady myself, especially not when he sought my legs, his fingers quickly finding the high slit of the dress.
I whimpered when he teased me, moving his face to mine. I didn’t want to stop feeling him, his lips, his touch. I wanted him to relieve the ache between my legs and as his hand reached between them, moving the dress to the side, all I could think was that I didn’t care if he ripped the damn thing off me. I just wanted him, consequences be damned.
Despite how much time had passed since he touched me, his fingers quickly found my clit and I moaned, unable to contain the sound of pleasure as he pressed down roughly, making my body come alive with his touch.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he whispered against my lips, moving my lace thong to the side, his finger sliding down my core, burying itself inside. “Tell me, Hannah…how can you fight this?” His voice was hoarse with lust and all I could do was rest my head against the wall, hoping he’d hold me up because my trembling legs were about to give out on me. “Tell me how you can believe this can be wrong…”
It wouldn’t take me long to reach the peak, if only he let me.
I gasped when his fingers left me and my eyes flew open, unsure what he was doing until I saw him kneeling in front of me, spreading my legs open, his dark eyes meeting mine as he pushed the dress up as much as he could.
“Tell me what you want, baby.”
My heart stuttered in my chest.
Such a simple request. Simple words that didn’t have much significance perhaps, but to us...they meant the world. He wanted me to let go, wanted me to give up the control I craved, the control that kept me at ease. My fingers dug into his shoulders, holding on to him as he caressed me, pushing me to the edge but not quite letting me fall.
“You,” the word was but a strained whisper on my lips, but his eyes darkened, full of lust and love, all tangled into one. “I want you.”
That was the moment our fight ended. He bunched the dress up around my waist and draped one of my legs over his shoulder before he buried his face between my legs, his tongue darting out to taste me.
“Derek!” I cried out his name, squeezing my eyes shut and let myself be consumed by the passion between us. I bit down on my lip, trying to fight back the moans leaving my mouth as he sucked my clit into his mouth, his fingers deep inside me but it was pointless.
If they heard me, it didn’t fucking matter.
All that mattered was his lips, his mouth on me, taking all my insecurities and obliterating them with his love. He groaned, the sound unrestrained, like he couldn’t get enough of me.
I opened my eyes, meeting his. He couldn’t stop looking at me...like he wanted the moment engraved in his mind forever.
I felt beautiful.
He licked, and kissed, waking up every nerve ending in my body, and I...I was fucking floating.
“Please.” I held on to him, hoping he wouldn’t let me fall because I wasn’t strong enough to hold myself up anymore. “Please...Derek...”
He took pity on me, his fingers curling at just the right angle, his hand reaching up to a nipple over my dress, and his tongue flicked over my clit. I flew over the edge, pleasure taking over my body in a wave I couldn’t withstand. My body trembled and my legs almost gave out, but he held me up, his mouth not once leaving my body. A muffled moan left his lips as I rode out my orgasm. I struggled to catch my breath, holding on to his hair as he kissed his way up my body.
“You taste like heaven,” he murmured, his grip around me tight, as if he knew I couldn’t stand on my own two legs at that moment.
I couldn’t...but I knew what I wanted. My hand reached down to his belt, fumbling with it until he took hold of my wrist, stopping me.
“Not here,” he whispered. “As much as it’s fucking killing me to not be inside you right now, it won’t be in this fucking storage room.” He leaned in, pressing a sweet kiss on my lips as he brushed away the hair from my face. “Come home with me. Hm? Give me a few minutes to leave everything settled for Lisa and then come home with me. What do you say?”
I didn’t think too much.
What was the point?
He was right.
Always right.
The outcome would be the same.
I’d end up in bed with him, in his arms...feeling loved.
“Yeah.”
He looked at me like he couldn’t quite believe what I said. “Yes?”
“Yes.”
Derek smiled, cupping my face in his hands before kissing me once again. “Okay.” I nodded, his genuine smile filling me with happiness. “Give me a few minutes. I’ll meet you out there.”
A quiet chuckle left his lips, looking at me with such adoration it almost left me as breathless as his mouth had. He loved me. I could see it. I could feel it. I swallowed thickly as the pressure on my chest mounted at the thought. It wasn’t like I didn’t know what I felt...it was the need to say it out loud.
Saying it out loud would effectively seal the deal...giving all of me to him. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that type of vulnerability.
“Get out of your head.” He ran his hands up and down my arms, comforting. “Take this for what it is.”
I raised an eyebrow, reaching up and touching his face. “And what is it?”
“Two people giving in to what they feel. That’s it.” He leaned in, kissing me one more time before pulling away. “Don’t leave without me.”
***
I always loved a restaurant with a view.
The second floor was quiet, but Derek had encouraged me to go, promising he would meet me there when he was done talking to a few sponsors. I watched him from afar, his smile genuine as he held a conversation with a man and Lisa, both laughing at whatever he had said. He glanced up, finding me looking at him. I waved at him, and he chuckled, his eyes lingering on me for a few seconds before he turned his attention back to Lisa, who appeared to excuse herself with her phone in her hand.
He hated the business part of it, but he was damn good at it.
Derek knew what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to say it.
“You disappeared for a while there.” I rolled my eyes, watching Evie as she approached me. She’d let her hair down, clearly tired of it being tied up in a tight bun. “And your hair is a mess...and that is coming from me, the self-proclaimed queen of messy hair.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
Evie raised an eyebrow, her eyes shining with amusement. “Funny. Derek said the same thing when I pointed out he’d been gone for a while, too. Especially when he left that closet without wearing his suit jacket and now you have it on.”
I felt myself flush, but there was no point in denying it. I didn’t bother with a reply either, though, my focus elsewhere.
“What’re you thinking?”
I glanced at my sister, hesitating for a few seconds before I said the words out loud. “I love him.”
Evie shot me a sympathetic look, reaching out and covering my hand with her own. “Yeah. That’s a pretty big word.”
“I know. Which is why it”s terrifying.”
“I get it, you know...” She looked at Nathan, waving her fingers at him as he lifted a glass of wine from a distance, flashing her a dashing smile. “Sometimes I look at Nathan and still forget how to breathe.”
“That’s how I feel with Derek.”
Evie grinned, squeezing my hand. “You’ve got it bad, then.” We stood quietly, my mind swarming with the endless possibilities in my life if I opened my heart to Derek. “We have a long weekend away. Take that time to think, to really talk to him, Hannah.”
She was right. All I could do was confront my fears. I had nothing to lose, not anymore. We talked for a few more minutes before Nathan made his way upstairs, pulling Evie into his arms. He was a little drunk as he kissed her, but she didn’t seem to care, giggling at the affection. I left them alone, wandering to the restroom where I touched up my makeup, until I heard a voice coming from a nearby room, with the door slightly ajar.
Every cell in my body told me to step away. It told me to turn around and ignore the curiosity that invaded me but stubborn as ever, I didn’t. I followed the voice, one I quickly recognized as Lisa’s and my heart dropped when I heard what she was saying.
“I know...but with kids in the picture he’s stuck.”
Ouch.
The words hurt. They knocked the wind out of my lungs.
She could be talking about anyone.
I repeated those words in my head, hoping I was right, and that Lisa wasn’t pulling the rug from underneath my feet like she had done so many months ago.
“Of course he doesn’t trust her. She fucked him over twice already. He’s just doing what he needs to do to be close to her kids. He doesn’t trust her judgment.”
My eyes fluttered closed and my hand covered my mouth, suppressing the pained whimper that was about to leave my lips. Lisa laughed, the sound sending a chill down my spine because it didn’t sound real. It didn’t sound like her.
“He’s taking her home tonight so...I mean...he’s getting something out of it.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked into the office, unable to hide my pained expression when she looked at me, quickly saying goodbye and hanging up the call.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, quickly shutting the door behind me. “Where’s Derek?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I blinked away my tears, my hands balled into fists. I wanted to flee, but I wouldn’t do it without letting her know how badly she’d hurt me...again. Even if she didn’t give a single fuck because clearly, she didn’t. “I’m such an idiot, believing him...believing you. Right? So damn easy to fool...all because I’ve always needed a little love. How foolish. How stupid.”
“Hannah, listen...I—”
“Save it, Lisa. I’m done. I’m fucking done with all the bullshit. I won’t be made a fool, not again.”
I almost convinced myself there was shame in her eyes…regret but I chalked it up to my overactive imagination, always hoping for more.
“It’s not what you think,” she said, swallowing. “Please...don’t tell Derek, I--”
I scoffed, shaking my head. “Go to hell, Lisa. And stay the fuck out of my life.”