Chapter 37
Hannah
I”d heard that anxiety can cause one to feel shaky...like your heart is about to beat out of your chest. At least that”s what Evie would say. But I scrolled through the pictures Mark had sent me overnight, and all that washed over me was a troubling calm. I smiled, though I was alone in the living room with the girls taking their nap in the bedroom.
I wasn”t sure what the hell I did feel.
But whatever it was, it wasn”t normal.
”Hey, hey.” Blake peeked through the door, offering me a smile as he walked into the house. I raised an eyebrow, not expecting him to be there.
”What are you doing here?”
He stretched out his hand, giving me my favorite Starbucks drink. He always remembered.
”Derek told me you were alone and he only does that when he wants me to check on you so...I figured you wouldn”t be as annoyed if I brought you a drink.”
I returned the smile to my friend...my best friend and sat back on the sofa this time with him next to me.
It felt like a long time since we had been alone.
”How are you doing?” The question left my lips without much thought but Blake cocked an eyebrow before draping his arm over my shoulders.
My body relaxed.
”The real question is how are you doing?”
Rolling my eyes, I leaned into his embrace and simply sat there. He brought me comfort...he was my constant throughout my pregnancy. He held my hand when I was in pain.
”I”m okay, for now,” I whispered. ”Some days are harder than others.”
I sipped on my drink quietly, handing it to him when I finished it. He set it on the end table next to him and I shifted, turning around to face him.
I can talk to him.
I can tell him everything.
”Can I tell you something?”
His eyebrows pulled together and he turned, facing me as well.
”What is it?”
”Mark found who did it.”
Blake’s eyes widened. ”He did? That fast?”
”Yeah. He”s good.”
”Well, who was it?”
”Eugene.”
Blake let out a long exhale, shaking his head.
”It doesn”t surprise me,” I admitted. ”He lost everything. But you know what the worst part is?”
”What is it?”
”He”s not the one that broke into the gallery.”
A mix of fury and surprise appeared on Blake’s face as he scanned my expression, quickly realizing how serious I was. “How do you know that?”
I shrugged. “Mark found video footage of the person walking down the street for several blocks, consistent with the clothes and build of the person who broke in. The day the money disappeared an envelope appeared at the doorstep of the gallery full of pictures of my life for the past year. You’re in some of them, too. So, it’s two incidents with two different people who were working together.”
“Holy shit,” he muttered as he ran a hand through his blonde hair. “Are you okay?”
It was hard to hear the question out of his mouth because the simple answer was no. I wasn’t okay. Not since this all started. Reality began to sink in...again. It was like I relived it every time we talked about it.
“He wasn’t working alone.” Blake stilled. ”My dad’s been in town…there was pictures of Eugene and him together.”
“Your dad?” Blake’s brows furrowed. “I thought your dad was in Pennsylvania.”
“I did too, until I saw him yesterday at a motel in the city.”
Every inch of my skin crawled.
Derek didn’t know about my conversation with my father and yet there I was, talking about it with Blake. It felt wrong.
Everything about this feels wrong.
“What did he say?”
I let out a humorless laugh when I stood up, pacing in front of the sofa. “He was very offended that I thought it was him.”
“So...it wasn’t him?”
Forcing a smile, I finally stopped, facing him. My best friend. My confidant.
“No. It wasn’t. But you knew that already, didn’t you?”
There it is.
I’d held on to hope...wishing for a different reaction but instead, Blake’s face drained of all color and his usually bright eyes, dulled.
And so the thread that barely held me together began to unravel. The room shrunk and the walls collapsed on me.
There was still time for a denial.
The room remained eerily quiet as I waited...gauging his reaction...hoping for a different outcome.
But it didn’t come.
Blake held my gaze as shame covered his features.
“You know.”
The two words hit me like a tidal wave. My blood boiled and my poor fucking heart pounded against my chest, causing the ringing in my ears to intensify.
You know.
I swung at him, the palm of my hand making contact with his face loud enough that it left a stinging sensation behind but he didn’t even flinch. He saw it coming...he accepted it. Perhaps that’s what infuriated the most, the way he knew he had fucked up and he still had the courage to stand in front of me. He didn’t even try to deny it.
Like our friendship wasn’t even worth salvaging.
Unshed tears burned my eyes, tears I wasn’t sure I could fight for much longer.
“You son of a bitch.” The words were but a mere whisper on my lips. “How could you hold me as I cried, see my anxiety and pretend you knew nothing? How could you break into the gallery? How could you fucking hurt me like this?”
I saw his Adam”s apple move and he finally looked away from me, to the door. He wouldn’t make a run for it, but I knew he wanted to leave. I could feel the thickness in the air, how hard it had become to breathe.
“I have done nothing to you. I have never hurt you. You didn’t even know the person I was then...so why, Blake? What did I do to you to deserve this?”
Oh, I couldn’t hold them back anymore. I hated myself for being so damn weak but his betrayal hurt. The blindfold had come off and I wasn’t prepared to see the truth. Blake cleared his throat, unable to look me in the eyes anymore.
I hoped he never could again.
I hoped the shame and regret ate him alive...that he would always remember the pain he’d so needlessly caused.
“Answer me.” I shoved his chest with my hand, but he didn’t move, instead returning his gaze to mine.
“I don’t know.” He finally answered, his blue eyes turning to ice. “I needed money and Eugene approached me and at the time it seemed easy enough to say yes. Before I knew it I was buried neck deep and couldn’t get out.”
Easy.
Easy to make the choice.
Easy to turn on me and betray our friendship.
”How much was our friendship worth?” I asked. Blake winced at the question, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “Answer me, at least fucking answer me.”
“Does it matter, Hannah?” Oh, the world around me collapsed because of him and he couldn’t even bother to explain. It didn’t matter to him. “The way I see it, the outcome is the same.”
My tears spilled. He had single-handedly destroyed my world and who I thought belonged in it.
”My daughters are my reason to live, Blake, but you...youkept me alive.” The ice in his eyes melted, his expression softening as the words spilled out of my mouth with ease. “Was it you? At Derek’s restaurant? Was it you that took the money?”
He didn’t speak.
His silence was answer enough.
He”d kept me alive. He was one of the biggest reasons I didn”t give up.
And now, it turned out it was all a lie. I could feel myself suffocating in the abyss of his betrayal...lost and confused.
I buried my face in my hands, hating that I couldn”t keep it anymore and crying at the loss of a friendship that perhaps never existed and that idea was simply too much to bear.
Strong arms surrounded me and though I wish I could have fought it, I wasn”t able to. Blake pulled me into his embrace, holding me in silence, as the beat of his heart told me what his words wouldn’t. I’m sorry.
It didn”t matter if he didn”t know how far things would go.
The outcome is the same.
”My friendship was never a lie,” he whispered, cupping my face in his hands. ”My friendship was—is—real. I just fucked up and I wish I hadn”t. But I can”t change it, Hannah. It”s too late.”
His blue eyes pierced through my heart, breaking it even more. The regret was so palpable, so fucking evident, I almost fell sorry for him.
Almost.
”You could have told me you needed money, Blake. You could have done so many things...why this? Why? I don”t understand.”
He shook his head. ”Me neither. I didn”t know things would get this far, I didn”t know he was stalking you...I didn’t know his plans for the gallery. By then it was too late and I couldn’t fucking get out. I haven”t been in contact with him since...well...”
”Say it.” I pushed myself away from his embrace, creating distance between us. ”Since you stole from Nathan.”
With a single nod, Blake stepped back, the tension returning to his body.
”What do you want me to do, Hannah? Tell me and I”ll do it.”
Tell me it”s not true.
I glanced away, looking at the window that faced the driveway. Derek”s car was pulling up.
”I want you to go to the police and tell them everything.” All emotion was gone. I couldn”t fucking cry anymore. I wouldn”t. Blake”s lips pressed together, but he didn”t move, standing tall and accepting my request with a single nod. ”And then...after that, I want you to forget about me and my family.”
His eyes reddened. I placed a hand over my chest, trying to still my crazy heart as I said the words I never thought I would say. ”I want you to forget we exist, I want you to live with your regret for the rest of your life and when you think of me, I want you to remember that I loved you. That you gave me the motivation to live and then you pulled the rug from underneath my feet, making me doubt everything all over again.”
My words broke him. His shoulders slumped and whatever was left of his confidence disappeared when the door flung open and Derek walked in.
His voice carried over through the house and dread filled me as I realized I would have to tell him everything.
”I brought Italian,” Derek said, pausing when he saw my tear stricken face, and then the heartbreak on Blake”s. ”What”s going on?”
I swallowed, knowing that I wouldn”t be able to speak without losing it.
Blake knew it, too.
He cleared his throat, glancing once more in my direction, this time with a silent word in his gaze that cut straight through my soul.
Goodbye.
”I need to talk to you before I leave.” Blake said nothing else and walked past him, closing the door behind him. Derek had questions, so many of them, but he didn’t say a word, instead setting the bag of food on the floor and following behind Blake.
All they left behind was silence.
It engulfed me completely...it overwhelmed every sense in my body. Several seconds passed, maybe a few minutes in which all I felt was the nauseating reality hit me like a train. That was until I heard the loud thud against the door and Derek’s voice thundering from outside.
He told him.
Looking up at the ceiling, I took several deep breaths in a failed attempt to control it all...but quickly my resolve faded.
Even more when Derek walked in and slammed the door behind him.
“Fuck!” He yelled, punching the wall with a closed fist. I didn’t even flinch. The damage was done, and now all that was left was pick up the pieces.
Again.
Derek eyed me cautiously, studying me as if afraid I may run away or disappear but instead, all I mustered were a few words.
“I told you karma would catch up to me.”