40. Riot
Riot
The room begins to fill with pass holders now the concert is over. They chatter loudly, half deaf from the music. They swarm toward us as I furiously type my thoughts into messages.
And I am trying to be okay with you wanting him instead of me.
But the truth is I’m not.
I’m never going to be.
The truth is I have wanted to kill my bassist every second of every day since she cut me out and chose him to take care of her instead.
The fact that they haven’t fucked, kissed, or acted in any way like anything more than friends in that time doesn’t make it easier to stomach that I hurt her so badly she no longer wants anything to do with me.
I pocket my phone.
I try to act amped while I sign some merch and a few body parts.
As do the others. But we’re tired on a level that has nothing to do with being on the road for weeks.
Kelsey’s actions the other night hit each of us hard.
Every single one of us is attached to her. None of us could tolerate losing her.
That’s exactly why I need to be okay with her wanting him in her corner. At least for now. Even if that means allowing the attraction between them to grow. I need her to be safe and cherished. Until I can be the man she needs.
I have a lot of work to do if I’m going to regain her trust and show her how sorry I am.
Starting with believing her when she says she didn’t steal from us.
Digging into what the hell actually happened to the money Carmine alleged Kelsey stole, and making sure whoever is responsible is held accountable.
I am going to fight for her. For us.
These are things I can’t send in text. It’s a conversation we need to have face-to-face.
She needs to see that I am serious, and that I won’t handle things the way I did last time.
So, I’ll tell her about my intentions in front of Bronx, Golden, Kodiak, and the rest of our crew.
I’ll make it very clear to everyone that I am not giving her up without a fight.
“I’m going to head to the bus,” Kodiak says. “She’s with Jasper, but—"
“I don’t like her being alone either.” He’s cared for her like she’s his world, I’ll give him that.
He’s loyal to a fault when it comes to her.
And considerate with the information he shares.
But if he falls in love with her, we’re going to have a problem.
I’m not going to give her up. “Ten more minutes and then we’ll get out of here. ”
The line of pass holders clears and we can leave. Kodiak beats me into the elevator. Bronx and Golden file in behind me.
“One more city until Vegas,” Bronx says.
“I’ve never been so ready for a break,” Golden agrees. “I’m going to book Kelsey and I in for a spa day. She could use some pampering. A nice massage and seaweed wrap to start.”
My phone rings as we step out of the elevator into the dimly lit garage where the buses are. I check it because it could be Kelsey. I assume it’s going to be Sonatina because she won’t fucking leave me alone.
It’s neither.
I answer it. “Doc?”
He’s been trying to get hold of me all day, but I figured it could wait after the dressing down he gave me for fucking Kelsey without a condom.
Fuck, I deserved it. The truth is if I had a father worth having, I’d want him to be like Sam.
If I’d gotten the opportunity to be a father...
I would have wanted to be like Sam. Or like Rook.
Instead, I’m the asshole who didn’t even know about his daughter until it was too late. That fucking cuts deep.
“I have the results from your tests. You got a moment?”
“Yes.” I drop back and let the others go ahead to the bus.
“The pills were pure,” he says.
“Then why...” I was sure he was going to come back and tell me that they were the problem.
“Your blood test showed GHB along with the amphetamines. And acid... Did you drop a tab?”
“No. And I didn’t take GHB either.” I press my fingers to the bridge of my nose. “Acid would explain why I was tripping balls by the time I got to the lobby.”
“Yes, well GHB and amphetamines are a terrible combination. Your body doesn’t know what to do with it. If you didn’t take it, and someone gave it to you...”
If someone gave it to me... “I was roofied.”
“Unfortunately, it appears so,” he says.
“Thanks, Doc.” I hang up, reeling.
Someone at the Savant party drugged me. They slipped GHB into something I was drinking. I try to recall every drink I’d had. Champagne Bronx brought me. Unopened tequila I stole from the bar after Sonatina told me we’re getting back together. More champagne when she came out to the balcony.
Champagne that she brought me before she demanded I stick around.
Only I’d left to find Kelsey.
Did Sonatina Savant fucking drug me? Did that bitch plan on knocking my ass out? And then... what?
Bronx comes back out of the bus. “Are you coming?”
“Yeah.” I put one foot in front of the other until I’m on the bus. I tug at the collar of my shirt. I can’t fucking breathe. She was planning on taking away my free will. She almost killed me.
I sit heavily on one of the benches. Kodiak has already disappeared into the bedroom to keep Kelsey company, but Golden has the peanut butter whiskey out. I snag the bottle and take a long pull from the neck.
“Are you alright?” Golden frowns at me.
“Yes.” No. Absolutely fucking not. But how do I tell them Carmine’s diva daughter, our manager, roofied me? What the fuck do I do with that information? Heat washes through me that makes me want to puke. I can’t tell the guys. Nothing happened anyway. There’s no need to talk about it. Ever.
Bronx, Golden, and I demolish the rest of the whiskey and play a few rounds of Grand Theft Auto. Eventually, Golden turns in. An hour later Bronx does too.
I send my nightly text to Micah.
He sends one back.
Torment: Target is still located in L.A. I’ll be in contact if anything changes.
If money was coming out of an account, could you find out where it is going?
In most cases, yes.
I’m going to send you something. I’ll pay whatever you need.
Don’t worry about it. The Devil can owe me one.
What does that mean?
He doesn’t respond, I’m not going to find out, at least not tonight. But I assume it has something to do with West.
Getting up, I prowl through bunk alley and slip into the room where Kelsey is fast asleep in Kodiak’s arms. The space is familiar and I find my seat next to the bed despite the darkness.
Sinking into it, I use a foot on the edge of the mattress to tip it back.
She doesn’t stir. She hasn’t woken to me since the first night I took vigil. Kodiak of course does. He opens one eye. Draws her tightly into the cocoon of his body. “Any movement?”
He’s stopped telling me it’s creepy for me to watch them sleep. He knows I’m not going anywhere. I won’t rest if I can’t see her when I wake up multiple times a night in a panic.
Maybe we’re past the touch and go stage of her depression, but it’s a beast that can rear its ugly head at any time. And I won’t risk missing it if she gets to that point again. “No. Nothing.”
“Good.” He keeps his voice low, so she doesn’t rouse. “At least that’s something.”
“Yeah.” I toe off my Converse and lean back.
He tosses a pillow at me.
I catch it and punch it a couple of times before putting it behind my head. “I’m going to get her back.”
“You tell me that every night,” he says.
“I want to make sure you understand where we stand.”
“You’ve made it loud and clear,” he says. “But I need you to understand that I can wait for you to fail. I can wait for her to be ready to move on. If she ever gives me a shot, I am going to take it.”
“You won’t get one.”
“Figured that’s what you would say,” he says, relaxing into the bed with her. He grows silent for a few minutes before he frowns. “What are you going to do about Sonatina? She’s been up your ass all week. How many times did she call you today?”
“Twenty.” And getting Bronx to take her calls isn’t helping. “She means to join the tour.”
She wants more opportunity to build buzz around the idea that we’re back together. She wants to make sure that the rumors about Kelsey being with us aren’t true.
“You can’t let that happen,” he says.
“I don’t plan to.” There’s no way that I could ever be convinced to let that psycho, her lies, and her GHB on this bus.