21. A Soldier’s Life
~ GRACE ~
A tiny nudge at my shoulder woke me. I opened my eyes, then squeezed them tightly shut again, rolling to my side because the sun beamed between the leaves of the tree overhead and blazed right into the back of my skull.
I groaned and rubbed my eyes with my fists, trying to gain my bearings. I was disoriented by the hard ground under my shoulder and the smell of dirt and grass. But then a deep, ragged voice murmured, “Are you awake?”
Vane.
Koa.
The dragons.
I had flown! Twice!
I’d thought it was a dream because it faded into sleep, but as I pushed up to sit, wincing against sore muscles, it all came flooding back.
I looked at Vane and smiled.
He stared at me uncertainly, his expression wavering between unease and nerves. “I have to tell you something,” he muttered.
“Oh. Well, what is it?”
He glanced over my shoulder, in the direction of the dragons, his lips pressing thin. “When Bren told you my name was Vane she was covering for me. If you’re coming to Vosgaarde and training you need to know: My real name is Voski.”
I blinked at him, shocked, and touched, and irritated all at once.
He’d let me call him a fake name all this time?
Yet, he told me the truth without my uncovering it?
He must have realized I’d find out when we got to Vosgaarde.
Yet, we wouldn’t arrive for days. He’d chosen to tell me.
Why was I so delighted that he’d reveal this about himself after days? He’d been lying to me this whole time!
I frowned.
His eyes were wary. “I’m sorry,” he muttered.
And my heart lifted. “I forgive you,” I breathed.
His eyes widened a hair, then he ducked his head, cleared his throat, and picked up his bag to dig through it, muttering about getting something for us to eat before we launched again.
His continued coldness stung, but my heart flipped over at the word launch.
We were about to launch. I would fly again!
‘Good morning, Firebird.’
My smile returned at the sound of Koa’s voice in my head, though I turned my head so Vane—mean, Voski—wouldn’t see it. ‘Good morning. Is it still morning?’
‘For a time.’
‘Then, good morning, beautiful Koa.’
A rush of delight reached me through that strange cord that connected her heart to mine.
I looked down at myself, shaking my head in disbelief. It was real. It was all real. A dragon had chosen me. I was flying to another kingdom to learn how to ride her. I would be a soldier? I giggled with pure thrill.
“Did your dragon share a joke?”
Voski, still hunched over his bag, stared at me, his dark eyes intense and locked in. Suspicion and wariness written in every line of his posture, but he looked as if he wanted an answer.
I shook my head. “I’m not quite able to believe that I’m here,” I said honestly, pushing to my feet, grimacing at the aching in my legs and tailbone—then I almost tumbled straight back to the dirt, because I tried to take a step and my knees didn’t work properly.
Which, of course, made him snort with laughter.
I shot him a glare and he stopped immediately, but he was stifling a smile as he went back to digging through his bag.
“You’re going to have pain for several days,” he said tightly.
“Best to take a short walk now. Stretch a bit—do you know how? And when you can trust your feet, we’ll get going. Here, eat this while you walk.”
He tore a small loaf in two, then thrust a hand toward me with half of it twisted in his fist. I blinked, but tried not to let my distaste show as I took it, then the small wedge of hard cheese he offered.
I could eat food from dirty hands if it meant I got to fly. Nodding to myself, I turned carefully and walked stiffly into the trees. I could sense Koa in that direction, and I needed a moment’s privacy. And I hoped if I got deep enough into the forest, he wouldn’t see if I did fall over.
I felt very unstable on my feet. My calves and thighs hurt so badly I didn’t want to bend my legs. And when I took a step, jolting pains shot through my knees and ankles. There was also a strange heaviness in my chest.
But I pushed it all aside and made myself walk as I ate, chewing and swallowing as quickly as possible with the dry food.
It didn’t matter if I hurt. Or didn’t sleep well. Or my body was sore.
I would fly.
The rest was worth it.
~ VOSKI ~
I’d told myself before I woke her that I wouldn’t be cruel today, and I would tell her my name. We were only days from Vosgaarde where she’d find out anyway. And much as I hated to admit it, Kham had been right that she should know.
It was just so hard not to think of her as an enemy, especially with the skill she showed in tracking and stealth. But Kham was also right that his mate was good, and wouldn’t have chosen her if she was dark.
I didn’t know why Grace made my chest jump, or sent my thoughts into a spiral. Usually, when I met someone who immediately made me wary and jumpy, they were the target on a mission, and my instincts screamed alarm.
Grace had made me skittish from the start—an impression only strengthened when I’d caught her sneaking through secret passages in the castle the day before I left.
But now, we were bonded by our dragons. For good or ill, we would be connected in some way for the rest of our lives.
She needed to know my name.
I’d talked to Kham for an hour before sleeping, and knew he was right. I was a leader, and needed to act like one. So, before I nudged her with my booted toe to wake her, I reminded myself that I had a job to do, and she was merely a new soldier to train.
But then she woke with a soft sigh. And when she sat up, rubbing her eyes like a child, I was frozen at the pink flush of her cheeks, and the messy tendrils that had fallen from her braid.
It had always been a unique pleasure to see a woman mussed.
Then, when I finally got the word out and told her my true name, she forgave me? Looked me in the eye like we’d made a pact, and just said it?
I couldn’t decide whether to be touched, or offended. Th echoes of the past were unsettling.
The comment about her giggle was meant to be a joke. But I was so tense, fighting the rush of want that coursed through me, it came out sounding sharp. Like a correction. And her face fell. Right after she’d forgiven me. Shit.
Swallowing hard, I dug out a wedge of cheese and the small loaves that would only remain fresh for another day, breaking one bread in half and handing it off to her while avoiding direct eye contact.
When her fingertips brushed my palm, my skin tingled.
Fuck.
Thank God she walked away, though the sight of her ass in those trousers threatened to undo all my resolve. I did grin at her stiff, jerky steps.
Her pain would get worse before it got better. We’d all been through that early on. But hers would be even worse than usual, because traveling like this, she didn’t get the breaks to move and relax her muscles.
When she disappeared into the trees, a part of me felt relieved. And another piece of me stabbed with loneliness. Which baffled me, because I deeply wished she wasn’t here. She destroyed my peace and required time and energy I didn’t have. But there was no choice.
I was a Furyknight, a rider of dragons, chosen for this work. I was Shadowfang—the secret society of spies within the Furyknights—all of us leaders, and chosen for our strength and honor. And I was a squad leader within the Shadowfang. Literally, an officer.
I had to be an example. And even I could admit I hadn’t been that, so far. I needed to do better.
I would do better.
We would fly soon, and I’d spend the time teaching her as I would any man who found himself chosen this way. I’d ignore her body, and that drive for the bond. I would focus on the task at hand. Instruct. Teach.
I was good at that.
And I needed the distraction.
I nodded to myself. I could do this. It was only for a few more days. A man could do anything for a few days.
The weather that day was cool, but sunny, so Kham flew higher where the thinner air allowed easier flight.
Grace was wrapped in her cloak against the chill of the wind, which hid her curves to my eyes, and helped with the aching.
There was no escaping the press of her against my lap and thighs, though.
I’d been talking more, to distract myself.
“Are you certain you want the life of a Furyknight, Lady Grace?” I asked tightly. “It may sound like an adventure, but it isn’t glamorous. No pretty gowns. No fancy food. Only a soldier’s stipend—though our needs are generously provided for by the dragons, and the king.”
“I’m certain,” she said without hesitation. She had her head turned to watch Koa flying alongside us, and I caught the spark in her gaze and recognized it for what it was.
She was made to fly.
I cleared my throat. “We train for war. And it isn’t easy.
If enemies rise against Vosgaarde, we’re the first called to face them.
” If she’d been Vosgaardian, I’d have told her frankly how close we walked to war already.
But she still didn’t know the truth behind why Donavyn and Bren had been in Fyrehold.
Why he’d called me to serve as well. She still believed we only sought dragon stock for breeding.
I didn’t trust her, and wouldn’t tell her more. But even that made my skin itch.
If she were to be acknowledged as Flameborne, she’d be forced to show where her loyalties lay.
Or would she? I had no idea what we flew back to find. If Bren hadn’t succeeded, if Donavyn was dead, and Kgosi with him…
I blinked.
The entire kingdom could be in upheaval—Furyknights and citizens alike.
What if I took Grace back only to find my own loyalties divided? Brother fighting brother. Or worse, fighting the throne?
Whose side would she choose?
Should I even give her the chance?
Grace turned her head to look at me over her shoulder, frowning. “What’s wrong? Why are you tense? I can do it! I’m strong. And I’ll get stronger. I’m only sore because I haven’t ridden like this before. It doesn’t mean I’m not strong enough!”